Comments | belenen: overwhelmed and ineffectual / cowardly and shit at making friends

belenen

overwhelmed and ineffectual / cowardly and shit at making friends

Feb 12, 2015 22:47

icon: "distance (two hands (from two people) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)"I've been so overwhelmed this week; social without a break and a lot of that social was stressful. Last night I had planned to read for class and write and LJ, but instead I just watched hour after hour of Netflix. I couldn't get myself to stop, until an ( Read more... )

stress overwhelm, anxiety, fear / insecurity, friendship, other-directed education

Comments 27

marchioness February 13 2015, 04:05:23 UTC

A black feminisms class sounds fantastic. I took a hip-hop feminism class with Brittney Cooper right when she was just formulating the Crunk Feminist Collective.

belenen April 22 2015, 05:03:53 UTC

whaaaat that sounds awesome!

tarakins42 February 13 2015, 04:47:48 UTC

I have the same problem with friendships and it makes me feel so alone and like I'm so screwed up. It just seems so easy for everyone else.

belenen April 22 2015, 05:04:18 UTC

I feel ya.

delicatexflower February 13 2015, 07:17:29 UTC

aw, bel. it breaks my heart to know you cried. :( *hugs* you are not useless or a coward! making friends in real life is soooo hard! do you think it's possible you fear rejection. so, if the other person approaches you, you feel like it's mutual?

belenen April 22 2015, 05:06:39 UTC

Mostly it's a fear of people politely not rejecting me even though they want to. Rejection itself is pretty easy for me to deal with, but rarely do people just honestly reject others -- especially me, because I seem to intimidate people a lot.

pixiebelle February 13 2015, 08:00:19 UTC

Oh I know these feelings all too well. I can't make friends offline either. At work, I so badly want to be friends with a few of my co-workers, I think they're awesome. But I can't figure out how to make it happen. They get together outside work, text, ect and they all seem to like me well enough, but how do I get to the next step?

I wish I had the answers because I'd pass them on to you too. It's such a struggle.

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pixiebelle February 14 2015, 07:26:53 UTC

It really is frustrating, and something I've struggled with for so long. I really would like to make friends, but I'm socially awkward and so afraid of rejection/coming off like I'm a weirdo or something, that I tend to make excuses about it. I really wish it were easier for us!

belenen April 22 2015, 05:10:27 UTC

*nods* If I figure out something that works for me I will pass it on too. There are so many ridiculous social rules...

polvodestrella February 13 2015, 08:46:47 UTC

I can relate to what you say in there. I have very few friends who I can call and hang out with, one of them is a friend of my childhood and the other is somebody I met here in LJ. The childhood friend lives here, but I don't really see her that often because she has kids and usually is busy with them (even if she made me the godmother of one of her kids so with that we see each other more often now), and the one I met online lives in another country so seeing each other is not that easy (even if we talk every day on skype, on the phone, etc).

But, like you, I have issues making friends. I don't really know when that started as when I was a kid I didn't have problems with that, but now I feel like everybody already have their groups of friends and that they're not open to new friendships, if that makes sense. And I feel awkward starting a conversation, like you say I feel like I have a lot of failed attempts, and I can't even tell why.

Is sad how true communication between persons has become such a rare thing...