spiritually inspired/nourished / how I meditate / what eye contact feels like for me

[belenen]

icon: "woven souls (me and Hannah lying naked on black cloth, with legs entwined, laying on our sides facing each other with one set of hands entwined with each other's, and the top shoulder leaning back, relaxed. there is a red and violet overlay with the violet coloring me and the red coloring Hannah)"I haven't been this regularly spiritually

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[lilywolfsolomon]

I also developed a form of meditation (with the help of the divine) that I think it's going to be really helpful for me if I make it a consistent practice. It's an embodied meditation that started calling to me a couple years ago and at the time part of me wondered if it was just energy masturbation but it just revealed itself to me again and I'm really excited about what will come of it if I continue the practice, allowing whatever wants to happen to happen, and reclaiming all of me.

The feeling I get that's so wonderful with eyegazing is being able to let love and appreciation pour forth through me, and being witnessed by the other in offering that gift of love. When I was starting to do it, early on, all I saw was projections of myself; it took a while to sink in and start to see the other more clearly, but now I'm able to separate the two pretty easily. So for me it's a pouring love forth and a being witnessed in that love I am offering, because one of the most sacred things in the world to me is simply this, from a chant: "All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you." For someone to witness that, and know that, and remember that, that is a deep peace for me.

I felt something in my eyegazing with you that felt a bit like holding back, perhaps, but not quite, just that there was a hell of a lot in your eyes that wasn't ready to be revealed, and a bit of it did over time, like a pot of water slowly warming on a stove. There was a solidity in your gaze that I don't often find, not that that's a good or bad thing, just a beautiful aspect of your being in the moment. I was kind of just curious and wondering if and how more might be revealed because I could see there was so much more dancing beneath the surface and I wanted to gently coax it forth, and within myself, I also noticed this desire to be more playful (as you noticed in its subtety) and let go of something that was holding back but being unsure how to do that. But if you're interested I can share with you the most powerful eyegazing exercise I've ever done that is rather intense but it certainly breaks down walls. :)

So, yes, I could definitely sense that there was sooo much more there, that not to diminish the beauty of it at all there was something somewhat tepid in our eyegazing, and I perhaps don't ask for more, not because I didn't see the potential -- I very much did -- but because so many people don't see within themselves that there is more there to be opened, so I hesitate to tell them that I see places that haven't opened up and that I want to see those places. And also you were tired. :P I don't want anyone to feel like I'm asking them to do the impossible or that I don't fully appreciate exactly what is appearing in the moment. But I don't know, I'm wondering right now... maybe it's never something I need to hesitate to offer when I want to see more of someone. Maybe it's not trusting their divine vastness when I don't trust them to on some level get what I mean when I say I want to see more of them.