discussing w Topaz my recent upsetness / finally progressing, processing old stuff / heaviness ahead

[belenen]

The realization about magic and fatness happened this weekend at the end of a long day, and Topaz listened as I talked it out. I cried the whole time and had difficulty with words, because it was a new realization that I didn't have in my conscious fully. Then we went to try and see meteors (an hour later than Topaz wanted) and Topaz had no luck

Comments

[justben]

I don't think I suffer from depression the way you do, but I totally sympathize about the positive transition bit. I'm running into a lot of things lately that I just haven't been processing for the past couple of years--or in some cases even realized about myself--and I feel like I'm just recently entering into a time that I actually have energy to recognize and process them. And it's terrifying because I've collected a lot of stuff that I want to process and change. And it sucks because that's emotionally draining for me, and I'm sure it is for the people who care about me, too. But at the same time it's super exciting for me because I feel like I'm learning so much about myself and really laying groundwork that'll help me feel better as a person.

For whatever it's worth, I actually really like providing an attentive ear and comforting hugs to my people. I can't promise good advice or help reframing things (though sometimes I can come up with those, too), but if physical comfort and someone to listen and affirm are reassuring then I really like doing that. Knowing that it helps makes it extra special to me, too.

I understand that you might not find those helpful for you, and I understand that you might have some hesitations about inviting me around for it. But I want to reassure you that if you *do* want that, I welcome you reaching out to me.

I'm glad you were able to have that reassuring talk with Topaz, in any case. *hugs* :-)