Touch: the kinds of hugs, kisses, and cuddles that I love

May 05, 2014 22:23

I really love hugs. Before Topaz I rarely got good ones: either they squished my (very sensitive) breasts or they were loose and impersonal or even worse they were perfunctory pretend-closeness and came with the 'pat-pat' (BLUGHHHH, gross gross gross). But now I've both gotten spoiled and learned to hug better: full-body gentle pressing-close with full presence of attention, melting my arms into them rather than pressing my hands to them and sticking my elbows out. I was always afraid of hugging people 'too long' but I'm over that shit now (mostly) and don't do the wrap-arms-around-wait-one-second-exactly-and-then-pull-away unless I'm distracted. I try not to hug distractedly and it's now my favorite touch. I'm trying to get in the habit of letting the other person pull away first (the second they move to pull away I let go of course). I love being hugged from behind (because then I feel no anxiety about my breasts getting squished). I love hugging people from behind (because then I don't have to worry about people pulling me forward at the shoulder awkwardly over my breasts in hunching discomfort). I looooove hugging people shorter than me because they fit so neatly with me, their shoulder tucked under my arm and their head resting on my shoulder/chest. I love hugging people who melt into me.

Kisses are second; I like almost all varieties of kisses as long as the person doesn't eat a lot of meat (it makes you taste acrid) or have spiky stubble. I like bitey ones (if they take enough lip in, biting a tiny bit of my lip is NO) and hard-pressing ones and lots-of-tongue ones and closed-mouth full-pressing gentle ones. My favorite is full-pressing bottom-lip-sucking tongue-stroking-lips with occasional tongue penetration. Although I do really like full-mouth tongues stroking each other like snakes, as long as the person doesn't make their tongue a poky cylinder (soft tongue is better!) but I haven't done that in a long while because Topaz doesn't like it and I haven't been romantic/sensual with anyone else. Kisses on places other than my mouth I like to be soft but full-pressing (where most of your lips touch the person but not in a pursed way; putting your lips against their skin before making the kissing motion).

I also cherish cuddling and being petted (and petting others the same way). I love having someone run their fingers through my hair with soft (and some hard) tugs. I love having my back scritched or lightly stroked. I love holding hands fingers-entwined, especially with attention (like the person petting/kissing my hand) or with forearms also touching (that kind usually has to be done lying down). I love having my feet rubbed, but massage other places doesn't do much for me unless I'm sore. I love to give and receive shoulder-kisses; for me the shoulder kiss means something different than a kiss anywhere else. It means affection with no expectation of reciprocity (I don't know why it has this connotation for me). I love being nuzzled (gently). I love being wrapped up with someone, like when I lay with someone and we have arms and legs intertwined, or a flamingo hug. I love when someone paintbrush-pets me, running along my edges and contours with a skimming fingertip. I love full-body laying-down hugs where the person is on top of me with feet tucked under my legs and arms tucked under my back with hands folded over my shoulders (or vice-versa). I love biting and being bitten -- this can be playful or sensual or erotic or any combination, and is the one kind of sexual touch I like 'randomly' (outside of sexual experiences). I love when people gently press their face into my neck. I love when people sit in my lap and let me wrap them up in my arms. I looooove when people stroke my hips and waist, sliding along my side-twist. I love carrying people on my back (and I'm pretty strong: I can carry at least 3/4ths of my own weight). I love energy-flow touch like each person putting their right hand on the other person's heart chakra.

Sex is good too, but if I could never have it again I'd be fine. Loving deliberate touch, though, I need in order to be a happy and nourished person.

What are your favorite kinds of touch? be as specific and descriptive as possible ;-)

love, sensuality, touch

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