TBC 2014: workshop 1 (panel discussion on disability)

[belenen]

The first panel I went to was a discussion of disability. I think the most surprising thing I took from that discussion was a feeling of affirmation/solidarity about my ADD-PI. I didn't really think of it as a disability because I am relatively privileged and only recently diagnosed but when the person on the panel with a similar disability discussed the lack of access that comes packaged with a noisy room or even two people talking at once, I realized how often that affects my life. If someone talks while the professor is talking it takes a monumental act of will to hear the professor. If I'm in a social gathering and there is a TV or music with lyrics on (especially lyrics I haven't heard before or problematic lyrics which jar my brain), I mostly can't hear anyone unless we're talking one on one and I can read their lips and facial expressions to fill in the gaps. If two people talk at once and I'm not prepared I can't parse out either of them. If someone talks to me and I am not expecting it I will not notice 90% of the time, even if they call my name (it usually takes 2 or 3 times for me to realize). I don't know how much of my listening is actually watching. For a while I thought maybe I'm hard of hearing. Anyway, hearing this person discuss their disability made me feel validated and permitted to ask for the courtesy of repetition at least with friends.

Side note: the worst thing is when I ask someone to repeat what they said and they say it exactly as quietly or quickly as they did the first time, or they edit what they said. I want people to say it again, a little louder and clearer, and NOT CHANGE IT because otherwise I either have to ask again, or I feel left out and fixated on the thing I missed.

I don't have time to write more right now but there were 11 workshops I went to plus two events and I want to write about them all. Soon, I hope!