missing Arizona / things I love about Arizona
I feel bruised and tangled. Bruised not from pressure, but from the absence of it... How can it hurt? just to be apart for a few days? I feel ridiculous. But I miss zir, so much, oh God/dess. My hands feel empty without zir fingers entwined in mine. My arms feel lacking in purpose because they aren't wrapped around zir holding zir against me. My lungs feel far too full, my shoulders feel naked, my thighs feel indolent.
The way ze moves is so incredible -- ze has a kind of delicate, graceful power (like a tiger walking silently) that I find absolutely hypnotic. Especially in dancing but also in mundane movement like walking or lifting/placing things. And zir voice, ohmygod, I don't know what it is but when ze sings I just want to hold my breath so I don't miss anything (I know many people with lovely voices but there is something more than just prettiness to Anita's voice). And the feel of zir, oh, so soft and strong, so vibrant and present (some people I can touch on the arm and it only feels like body, not like a person, because they don't inhabit their whole body -- Arizona does). And zir kisses spin through me like little tornadoes... sometimes the barest light brushes, sometimes fierce and wild, never the same, always a little lingering, always communicative like a conversation of touch. And when we touch, even the most mundane touch, it feels as though our energies zip back together. When we're together and not touching it feels like holding two magnets apart. And when I look into zir eyes, I feel welcomed to see; I feel trusted through and through. And just the beauty of zir -- God/dess I miss looking at zir. Just looking at zir makes me happy; every feature makes me happy.