It seems that there is not a lot of tolerance in this world for people who have goals that don't necessarily include ultimately ending up in a monogamous relationship.
I think it makes it tough on those who aren't as self-aware and striving for growth as you are.
I myself have lately been wondering whether or not partnership is for me. I love Matt but sometimes I feel like I hold back some of what makes me me because I feel like it might affect zir. I miss my freedom. Though I do like the companionship. Sigh...
Your first paragraph is _exactly_ what's been on my mind lately! Good to know other people recognize it as well, especially since my parents are just terribly confused by it all. ha
I deeply appreciate what you've said here about partnership and polyamory and the need to be alone. Actually, the way you describe your childhood fantasies sounds a lot like the little world I built for myself when I was a kid: everyone I loved had their own little houses, near enough to visit whenever we wanted but each person with a self-contained space to return to.
...come to think of it, I definitely worry about what will happen to that if/when I find myself with a partner. Though I think any partnership I was happily involved in long-term would have to be pretty spectacularly nontraditional, so maybe my worry is misplaced.
I believe it's crucial that everyone follows their heart and tries to do what is best for them. I also believe that sometimes people get hurt in the process [from both sides of the situation] but that's inevitable when dealing with emotions
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Wow. I'm not sure what I can say that wouldn't end up being mildly offensive. My goal isn't to be that though, so I'm pretty torn here. I guess what I'm having an issue with is understanding why you two got married in the first place. I read the reason you gave up there, but it seems to be that you were both forced (that's too strong of a word) into marriage when neither of you really wanted it.
I can see both of your POVs though. I think. He seems to like the idea of polyamory, but not the act. I agree with the idea of polyamory and monogamy, but having no personal experience with either, I can't be absolutely certain. I can't see myself being tied to one person, but I can't see myself being tied to multiple people either. You seem to still be trying to create your identity, which is cool. I think more people should do that
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I need to be able to fuck up spectacularly and not worry about the fallout for anyone but myself. I need to be more open. I need to be wild. I need to be completely free.
I hear you on that one. I'm a firm believer in how you should always do what feels right for you in the greater scheme of things. There's no way to be happy and content otherwise. Surely and certaily, the search and the journey might prove painful and hurtful, there are setbacks and disappointments, but there's no other way to learn than by trial and error. Never settle with maybe's, because you're always worth more.
I have this vision of my heart and my living space as this place where people can come and go, stay as long as they like or just stop in. Ever since I was a little kid I dreamed about having my own place and living alone. I wasn't the kind of little girl who daydreamed about a wedding followed by husband and kids -- I daydreamed about living alone in a world all of my own making, always with a house big enough for having plenty of visitors but with a
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I think it makes it tough on those who aren't as self-aware and striving for growth as you are.
I myself have lately been wondering whether or not partnership is for me. I love Matt but sometimes I feel like I hold back some of what makes me me because I feel like it might affect zir. I miss my freedom. Though I do like the companionship. Sigh...
Best of luck with all of this. *hug*
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...come to think of it, I definitely worry about what will happen to that if/when I find myself with a partner. Though I think any partnership I was happily involved in long-term would have to be pretty spectacularly nontraditional, so maybe my worry is misplaced.
Luck and happiness to all of you.
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Vicky Cristina Barcelona blew my mind, as well. ♥
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I can see both of your POVs though. I think. He seems to like the idea of polyamory, but not the act. I agree with the idea of polyamory and monogamy, but having no personal experience with either, I can't be absolutely certain. I can't see myself being tied to one person, but I can't see myself being tied to multiple people either. You seem to still be trying to create your identity, which is cool. I think more people should do that ( ... )
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I hear you on that one. I'm a firm believer in how you should always do what feels right for you in the greater scheme of things. There's no way to be happy and content otherwise. Surely and certaily, the search and the journey might prove painful and hurtful, there are setbacks and disappointments, but there's no other way to learn than by trial and error. Never settle with maybe's, because you're always worth more.
I have this vision of my heart and my living space as this place where people can come and go, stay as long as they like or just stop in. Ever since I was a little kid I dreamed about having my own place and living alone. I wasn't the kind of little girl who daydreamed about a wedding followed by husband and kids -- I daydreamed about living alone in a world all of my own making, always with a house big enough for having plenty of visitors but with a ( ... )
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