22 of my five-star favorite songs on the 22nd of each month (usually late). A five-star song is one that has strong melodic pull as well as significant lyrical meaning to me (if there are lyrics) -- all of these are very important to me. In sharing them I'm sharing some of my soul... I'm trusting you to listen and sense it. ♥
In this post:
Auf der Maur, Massivivid,
Sam Sparro, and
Yael Naïm (to listen to samples, click on the little black play button before song titles). Each of these only has one album out so far (except for Massivivid, which put out a second album with different people and a completely different sound -- I don't know why they didn't change the name). I'm changing up the format of these posts a little and putting my thoughts with the music instead of all together at the beginning, so read on!
Belenen's favorites -- April/May 2009 (click pic to download a zip of all songs)
Poll music sharing poll (click titles to download individual songs)
Auf der Maur
(self-titled)
Auf der Maur is raw, fierce, wild. This self-titled album is hungry and not at all shy about it -- but not self-consciously bragging about it either. Yearning and desiring, focused and feral. "I Need I Want I Will" is my mantra.
---
Real A LieSo free, to so fuck, so aroused
So alone I try to find the lie
That lies beneath you
Real a lie you’re truly mine
I am that kind
Living blind
Real a lie, I am that kind
Living blind for a lie
Behind the closed doors
You're folded blind
You're truly mine from
Behind closed doors you meet me
Like a wave I'm self acclaimed
Real a lie you're truly mine
We've been but so far
Low down
Glowing green far above the waves
Got a lie, you and I
A wave
A wave
-
Taste YouOh my love oh my love
I can't hear you my love
tell me where have you gone?
oh my love oh my love
I can't taste you my love
tell me what have I done?
Far away far away
I can't feel you today
I need healing my love
Appetite running fast, following my gut
Turning up every rock
You're dissapearing my love
I need louder that this
Please fill me up
Good tidings I bring to you and your sins
I'll forgive
Come to me plug it in
So I can digest you
I will taste you...
My appetite in that hole
tempt you with it now
I will taste you...
Please shake me and tug
I need shaking my love
Can't you be the one
I can't fake it my love
I need filling come on
I need it louder than bombs
I will taste you...
I will taste you (I've got a big mouth)
I've got a big mouth
I will taste you
I've got a big mouth I will taste you
I will taste you
-
I'll Be Anything You WantI'll be anything you want
you love me more than you love yourself
on your knees, on your knees
I'm begging you darling please
pick me
some day
I have to say
I'll be with you
share a dance
romance
a little dinner for two
you'll be mine
I'm yours that's fine
everything we ever dreamed of baby
is ours tonight
-
Would If I CouldFor today, I'm lost without you
Forgot the way to be without you
Yeah you know I would
Stay alone
Yes I would if I could
Be alone
Look for today
I'm lost without you
Need a way to be without you
I need a way to find
Just a few of you
Remember the day I was lost without you
Found a friend who laughs just like you
-
Overpower You*
I like your eyes, I like your shape
And I could easily overpower you
I could easily overpower you
I won't say a thing, I won't tell a soul
But I could easily overpower you
I could easily overpower you
Yes, I could easily overpower you
*note: I like this song because I see it as a biting commentary on the relationship between 'attraction' and power in our society, not because I find the straightforward interpretation appealing.
-
I Need I Want I Will ((note: this has extra stuff at the end -- I don't have a version without it.))
In the last decade of the twentieth century
An event occured in the lives and minds of a random few
It was an event of magical moment
A building was erected to house a dream of many
Three-dimensional sound
For these people who made sound their lives
This was a day of life changing quality
It was loud
I Need, I Want, I Will
Pass it on, pass it on, pass it on
Into the triangular parlor they went
The music entered them through their skin
Into their blood and following their heartbeat
The music became them and they became it
Off they went following a dirty desert path
A brand new beginning for lovers of sound
They had to pass it on --
"I need, I want, I will"
I Need, I Want, I Will
Pass it on, pass it on, pass it on
The journey was not easy for them
On their path there was an obstacle
Their gift was no friend
Down came the rain
And the H.R. Giger crane
All tried to stop them
However they found the will
to find their way back home
To pass it on
I had a dream, I pass it on
I had a dream, I pass it on
-
Massivivid
"Brightblur"
This album was my lifeline my last year in high school -- I carried my cd player in the pocket of my trench coat and listened to it every spare moment. I actually wore out the CD despite all my care (it didn't get scratched!). The complex, metaphorical lyrics inspired me so much (still do, I think lyrics should be seen and tasted and felt as well as heard and understood), and the honest, searching attitude encouraged me in a time when everyone around me was trying to stamp the questions out of me. "Drop" and "Brightblur" are my ultimate worship songs -- one calling for help and hope, the other declaring awe and at the same time boldly speaking one's own truth (imagine, Deity inspiring confident honesty instead of fear!). And the sound! Industrial and... open, it reminds me of flying in space, or twining colors through atoms.
---
Flesh: WoundI only see it when I'm up
That this down is what I need sometimes
It's only here that I realize
I can't do it by myself
When I take a step back
I gotta reach through the air again
I know I'm gonna find you there again
Pulling on the ground tearing me down
I fall down,
I fall down,
And when I fall down
I see the dust I come from
I fall down,
And when I fall down
I really fall
Everyday I'm kissing clay
I'm standing up before I'm even ready
If this is what it takes to end up pretty
I wanna do it again and again
-
CobaltI asked for a spark and you gave me the sun
But it wasn't enough to burn my body away
I needed more, like I need it more, paralyze me
This fever pitch, persistent itch
This crash and burn my body away
My little world, I ask for more of this
Thickness in my throat
I've awakened to the thought of losing you
I've been beautifully stung and pitifully used
I've stolen the apple but it’s just as sweet
I've distorted every breath you breathe
I will return here, left to myself
So many things I easily do the moment I can do them at all
So many times I close my eyes, so often blind, born blind
I've awakened to the sight of something new
I've been pitifully stung and beautifully used
I've been reading again with my fingertips
I've been carried away, nothings as liquid as this
-
GrippedThis skin has got to be my faith
Cause I'm losing faith in my own eyes
I'm setting fire to my flame
And hiding from my disguise
I'm ninety degrees down on my knees I've got a disease that I can't shake
I'm out of my skin don't know where to begin I've got a request that I can't make
I don't wanna go through this anymore
I'm tired of trying to settle the score
Take away from this all that you can take
One more pound of flesh and I'm gonna break
Never had this much faith in God before
Cannot evade I can only ignore
God help me please I'm on my knees bones to the breeze I can't seem to shake this
I'm out of my skin don’t know where to begin I've got a request that I can't make
-
Crop Circlesyou put your faith in, you put your faith in
things you cannot prove
you're so willing to believe me, willing to believe me
until I tell the truth
you'll lead the revolution, you'll lead the revolution
but forget about it now
I'm the one, the whiz, who broke the glass and made you come from miles around
And I know that I'll pay until the day I die
Blame it on the wind, the rain, the alien rocket ships, it's all in vain and I know
It was me who made you wonder why
Does it really matter?
It was just a little fun
Does it really matter
If your world comes undone?
-
DropI do not want to do what I'm about to
But I’m afraid I can’t stop
I'll gladly trade my nothing for your everything
I just get so scared that I will drop
Hope casts me headlong into You
I never saw my shadow 'till I saw the light
But now I need more light to drown it out
I cannot bear that this should continue
Nor can I bear that it should stop
Before the angels a man might sink
But before this one he'd surely die
And if he lived at all he'd have to laugh unquenchable laughter
Beneath my burning bones, here am I
Vina calls and I'm taken for a ride
translunary circles spinning closer, falling
in this world I've created I cannot hide
don't kiss me as I fly
-------------------------------------------------
[whispered, beginning at 4:07]
Who decided this
Is who I am?
Who weakened me
That i should fall this way?
Who foretold that i
Would always reach for this?
And who has cracked my skin
Who let you in
So you could see me now
And here
Like this?
Someone save the darkness.
Someone kill the light.
Take yourself and go away
so i can breathe again.
No, stay.
And suffocate me.
i need your everything.
For i am vacant here
With blinking splitting neon
Sign. It flashes such a
Garish orange, an eyesore
In the night to be forgotten in
The sun. And you have let
The whole world in
To see me here, undone.
Find me.
Finish me.
I’ve misplaced the directions
For mending my own soul.
And you come
Bearing only priggish pity
And my shroud.
(c)by ladonnawitmer 3.24.98
-
BrightblurI stand amazed in this place
sun dried salt stains on my face
always you, never me
this is where I've got to be
In your name there is a song I sing
but the melody's escaping me
you will always be a mystery --
you will always be a mystery!
God, this is where I've got to draw my line
and tell you how I feel because it's time
to crawl into the hands that tore my sky --
Brightblur!
Wake from this sleep in the deep
burn like fire, flow like rain
this is where I leave my pain
-
Sam Sparro
(self-titled)
I discovered Sam Sparro when "Black and Gold" came on the radio as Hannah, Nick, and I were riding in a taxi through the Scottish countryside under a starry sky. That song will forever be the encapsulation of my spiritual/emotional awakening that year... learning that truly, the only reality for me is the reality inside me and I don't need outer validation of what I know to be true. The rest of the album was by turns bitingly funny, perfectly expressive of things I often reflect on, and just rockin' fun.
---
Too Many QuestionsAll I have is too many questions
Is there something someone forgot to mention to me
But I walk on without hesitation
To my unknown own destination
With the music like syncopation
And explore my own imagination
How do I know if I am right in why I feel like I do?
And separate the truth from the lies
And why do we only take any action when it comes to our own satisfaction
When we only need just a fraction of what we need.
How do I climb up on out of this funk I'm in
and how do I cling to the frame of divine timing?
Why do I doubt sometimes, that of which I know for sure?
And why when I've had enough, do I seem to ask for more?
-
Black and GoldIf the fish swam out of the ocean
and grew legs and they started walking
and the apes climbed down from the trees
and grew tall and they started talking
and the stars fell out of the sky
and my tears rolled into the ocean
now i'm looking for a reason why
you even set my world into motion
'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
but it's all just a bunch of matter
'cause if you're not really here
then i don't want to be either
i wanna be next to you
black and gold
black and gold
black and gold
i looked up into the night sky
and see a thousand eyes staring back
and all around these golden beacons
i see nothing but black
i feel a way of something beyond them
i don't see what i can feel
if vision is the only validation
then most of my life isn't real
-
21st Century LifeWhen I was a little boy
Living in the last century
I thought about living in the future
Then it occurred to me
I turned around, the future was now
The future was all around me
Nothing like I had imagined
It was totally confounding
21st century life, I got swept away
I got 21,000 things that I got to do today
21st century life, well what can I say?
The new world's got me feeling so dirty
Think I need to get down and pray
Well what about famine and disease
Well they said it's too bad (oops)
Now I'm not a little boy
I'm in the 21st century
Well you might think we've come a really long way,
but there's still no equality
You tell me I'm free
Well how can that be
When you're always watching me on the CCTV?
-
Sickdarling your brow is wet
you've got a fever
darling rest your head
i'll make you a believer
baby come away from the window
i don't want you to see it
the things that you might see
you won't want to repeat it
cause it's a sick sick world
i'll be your medicine
come on take me take me
i'll make you feel better
when your mother bore you
boy did she adore you
she wanted to protect you
from the world she brought you into
but your curiosity
took you by the arm
make sure you take me with you
when you go into the unknown
-
Hot MessI know you fancy yourself as a sexy bitch,
It's in the way that you walk
Do you kiss your mother with those expensive lips?
You show off that expensive talk,
Well your lavish life might appear delicious,
But not particularl-l-ly nutritious
But you need it,
Don't you baby,
No you're nothing without their gazes,
They don't love you,
They are strangers,
Look how far you have come, you're amazing,
You're amazing
Well you work so hard just to shed the shackles of anonymity,
Now everyone knows ya and they're all talkin,
But not favorably,
If you wipe the oblivion from the mirror,
Your just might see things a little clearer
And you wonder why the people can't stop lookin',
It's exactly what you want us to do,
Well everybody's at you for their one hot minute,
They've all gotta gotta bag a piece of you
-
Cut Me LooseWhen I hear that bass start to thumpin'
Me and my whole body get to jumpin
I snap my neck, my back and shake my rump and
Just cut it loose, I just cut it loose
When the day behind ya leaves you shattered
I only know one thing that makes it better
Nothing cuts me loose like the music
I cut a rug up all night long when I hear my favourite song
Nothing cuts me loose like the music
I said it cut me loose it just cut me loose
See that sexy girl over by the bar there
She said, "hey do you wanna come for a ride in my car yeah?"
I said, "sexy girl are you delirious? I can't leave right now these tunes are serious"
The bass slapped me in the face and I stepped so hard I almost shook the place
Got snare in the air like a cool breeze and those nasty keys are the bee's knees
-
Yael Naïm
(self-titled)
This album kinda crept up on me. I got it after googling the lyrics from "New Soul" (can't remember where I originally heard it) and listened to it just in the background for a while (as writing music), and then some of the other songs started speaking to me... The tone is a little melancholy, but wise and questioning. "Far Far" in particular nudges me to live out loud ♥
---
Too LongI waited for so long
Outside myself
You see I was pretending
To be someone else
I was longing to see
Who I wanted to be
And I've been waiting on my own
I've been waiting for too long
Not strong enough to be with you
And I've been making up my world
I've been painting it with gold
Not strong enough to see you
I irrigate illusions
Then let them grow
How can I pacify myself
And let go?
And I run wild to see
Who I turned out to be
Ratsiti ligdol itcha lehizdaken [I wanted to grow up with you, to grow old]
Yikach ma sheyikach [Whatever it takes]
Yiten ma sheyiten [Whatever it gives]
-
New SoulI'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take.
but since I came here,
felt the joy and the fear
finding myself making every possible mistake
I'm a young soul
in this very strange world
hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake
but why all this hate?
try to communicate
finding trust, and love is not always easy to make
this is a happy end
'cause you don't understand
everything you have done
why's everything so wrong?
this is a happy end
come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away
-
Shelchatoo many screams in my throat
too many faces
too many plans
that I wanted to change
so many words
if I can only tell you
there's no other love
but the one I live with you
Still don't know how
we let all of this happen
will this war last forever and ever?
They've burned my hands
cut my hair and steal my soul
but do you really want to know?
rest in peace with my sorrows
Are we alone or together
or are you my greatest war?
-
LonelyYou are not alone
I am here with you
Even when you're scared
I'll never leave you
Standing in a storm
Making it insane
Once again, I will try
To enchain you
But you open your eyes to the sky
and whisper
That you are so lonely
You are so alone
You're so alone
You're so lonely, so lonely
So I'm colouring my face
while I am here with you
imagining the landscapes of your sorrow
Is it yellow or blue?
Colouring the sky and the trees
and the clouds and the moonlight
I'd colour your heart
if you didn't
hide it
And I wish you could just find home
-
Far FarFar far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to speak out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there're colors and shapes
dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarel rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go oh oh
take a deep breath and dive
there's a beautiful mess inside
far far there's this little girl
she was praying for something big to happen to her
every night she ears beautiful strange music
it's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
but if it fades she begs
"oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it yourselves"
i guess i'll have to give it birth
to give it birth
i guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
i guess i have to, have to give it birth
there's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere
so shake it yourself now deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
deeper than you ever dared
-