achy
I'm feeling gross. My throat hurts, my nose won't stop running... I almost never get sick, and when I do it's ALWAYS because of a hurt on the inside that has leaked through to my body. I haven't really put any thought into sorting out why; I'm kinda afraid of the answer. All Saturday I was exhausted emotionally... not numb, but actually worn out.
And now I feel like this... after a day where I poured out so much positivity. I just... need. something. someone. It's so selfish, but I am really looking forward to Ben's vacation time in a week, because then he won't be so tired and maybe when I feel like this he can hold me and love me and help me.
and huge belief shifts... confusing, wavering, torn. That's probably 80% of the reason I feel like this... because I can't make up my mind, or more accurately, my mind can't tell what my spirit believes or what my soul says.