The both of you pretty much said what I was thinking....
It's funny, I JUST got finished commenting in a friend's journal about the same concept, on a totally different subject. She's considdering whether or not it's smart to come out to her mother...it's a tenuous situation, because there is such an IMMENSE desire to be yourself, and have everyone KNOW who that person is, but unfortunately, some people can't handle that reality. I tried being honestly me with my friends and family, and I lost most of my friends and my family just ignored it and immersed themselves in denial. I don't regret not having those friends who couldn't accept me, because I've now realized they're not worth it. But at the time, it was so incredibly painful to be shunned by the people who I thought loved me just because I didn't fit into their ideal of how I'm supposed to be.
That's why I like to lay all my cards on the table as soon as possible in relationships - so I can't be accused of "hiding" things, and people just don't have to START being my friends if they don't like some of those things. But you can't do that sort of thing retroactively....if you really want to be open with them, you have to understand and accept the VERY REAL possibility that you would further your own self-acceptance and opennes at the cost of the relationships.
if you really want to be open with them, you have to understand and accept the VERY REAL possibility that you would further your own self-acceptance and openness at the cost of the relationships.
So true... and that's why it's so hard to decide. Be myself? or think that I am accepted and loved for who I am, when that might not be true? Even simpler, ask for the truth or just believe what may be a lie?
It's funny, I JUST got finished commenting in a friend's journal about the same concept, on a totally different subject. She's considdering whether or not it's smart to come out to her mother...it's a tenuous situation, because there is such an IMMENSE desire to be yourself, and have everyone KNOW who that person is, but unfortunately, some people can't handle that reality. I tried being honestly me with my friends and family, and I lost most of my friends and my family just ignored it and immersed themselves in denial. I don't regret not having those friends who couldn't accept me, because I've now realized they're not worth it. But at the time, it was so incredibly painful to be shunned by the people who I thought loved me just because I didn't fit into their ideal of how I'm supposed to be.
That's why I like to lay all my cards on the table as soon as possible in relationships - so I can't be accused of "hiding" things, and people just don't have to START being my friends if they don't like some of those things. But you can't do that sort of thing retroactively....if you really want to be open with them, you have to understand and accept the VERY REAL possibility that you would further your own self-acceptance and opennes at the cost of the relationships.
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So true... and that's why it's so hard to decide. Be myself? or think that I am accepted and loved for who I am, when that might not be true? Even simpler, ask for the truth or just believe what may be a lie?
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