Oh.
I've done this dance so many times before. I just assumed that by now I would be numb to it. Or, at least indifferent. But, for the first time, I'm scared. I don't know what lays ahead of me. I'm terrified that something bad is going to happen, or that nothing at all will happen. I'm just...scared. I don't understand how someone can just decide to hurt their own flesh and blood over and over and over again. And, still be able to sleep well at night. I don't get it. I see the way he looks at me: like I'm some foreign being not worth his time or concern. Hatred bubbles out of him and curdles over onto everyone around him. I'm a nice girl. I don't deserve to be hated so much. I don't.