Little deep-fried nuggets of breaded wisdom
These are the things that I think about. And yes, all of these are originals.
- I don't believe in atheists.
- Why can't I hate the player and the game?
- Why is gaudy jewelry called bling bling? Does that mean a nice necklace and matching earrings are just bling? Or maybe just bli?
- What the fuck is a dougnut hole?
- I like waffles.
- Have you ever been so hungry that you just wanted to punch someone in the face?
- Is pepper spray a socially-acceptable condiment?
- I don't let it get me down when my friends do things that hurt me. When all is said and done, they're my friends; and I knew that they were idiots long before now.
- Does anyone else think that Ann Coulter and Ted Kennedy should just hook up and birth the Antichrist now and save us all of this waiting?
- I have a friend named John. He looks like me. But we don't have one of those weird Corsican Brothers things going on. Like if I punch him in the face, I'm not the one that feels it. But man, he sure does.
- I'm not sure who let the dogs out, but I have a hunch...and if I'm right, his ass is grass.
- What ever happened to public floggings? It's a good deterrent, great entertainment, and a good, solid aerobic exercise program.
- I think that goldfish have ulterior motives.
- They say that irony is delicius, parting is such sweet sorrow, we make people eat their words (and crow), we want our cake and to eat it too, and revenge is a dish best served cold. No wonder we're so fat.
- There's this girl who's stalking me, only she doesn't know it. I just like to walk around in front of her all of the time.
- They say that office romances don't work. This is true. The break room was never the same after the coffee maker split up with the toaster. Especially since she started nailing the boss.
- If it's true that only the good die young, then my ex-girlfriend is going to live forever.
- I like to think that I have the soul of a poet. Not because I'm artistic, or profound, or have a developed sense of beauty; but because I eat souls.
- I don't believe in atheists.
- Why can't I hate the player and the game?
- Why is gaudy jewelry called bling bling? Does that mean a nice necklace and matching earrings are just bling? Or maybe just bli?
- What the fuck is a dougnut hole?
- I like waffles.
- Have you ever been so hungry that you just wanted to punch someone in the face?
- Is pepper spray a socially-acceptable condiment?
- I don't let it get me down when my friends do things that hurt me. When all is said and done, they're my friends; and I knew that they were idiots long before now.
- Does anyone else think that Ann Coulter and Ted Kennedy should just hook up and birth the Antichrist now and save us all of this waiting?
- I have a friend named John. He looks like me. But we don't have one of those weird Corsican Brothers things going on. Like if I punch him in the face, I'm not the one that feels it. But man, he sure does.
- I'm not sure who let the dogs out, but I have a hunch...and if I'm right, his ass is grass.
- What ever happened to public floggings? It's a good deterrent, great entertainment, and a good, solid aerobic exercise program.
- I think that goldfish have ulterior motives.
- They say that irony is delicius, parting is such sweet sorrow, we make people eat their words (and crow), we want our cake and to eat it too, and revenge is a dish best served cold. No wonder we're so fat.
- There's this girl who's stalking me, only she doesn't know it. I just like to walk around in front of her all of the time.
- They say that office romances don't work. This is true. The break room was never the same after the coffee maker split up with the toaster. Especially since she started nailing the boss.
- If it's true that only the good die young, then my ex-girlfriend is going to live forever.
- I like to think that I have the soul of a poet. Not because I'm artistic, or profound, or have a developed sense of beauty; but because I eat souls.