Family values
Today, a continuing injustice will be done in the Indiana State Legislature.
But the biggest problem is not the injustice itself, but the manner in which people look at the issue.
The church I go to is the local member of Metropolitan Community Churches, the "gay church," founded and mostly attended by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Christians, with a growing number of straight allies like myself. I helped arrange to use some of the church's meeting space for a secular club that needed a place for its monthly meetings. During one of the first of these gatherings, a couple of members noticed the church's nursery area, and asked about it. They seemed honestly surprised that church members have small children. In fact, the church conducts Sunday School for toddlers, kids and teens, which number about one to two dozen each week (overall attendance gets as high as about 400 for late-morning service).
This honest surprise that gay couples have kids (even by people who have adjusted their thinking to include that gay people can be Christians) was startling to me, and pointed to the possibility that this may not be common knowledge in the general public.
Thus it's frustrating that no one is making an important point about the proposed anti-gay marriage amendment to the Indiana state constitution, and laws like the Defense of Marriage Act: THESE LAWS DESTROY FAMILIES.
And it's an incredible irony, because such measures are touted as being "pro-family."
Prohibitions to gay marriage do nothing to protect or preserve straight marriage, and allowing gays to marry has no effect whatsoever on straights marrying. Deep down we should all know this.
But I think the problem is that this is not the first thing that the general population thinks of when they consider this issue -- not that gay marriage will somehow degrade or annul straight marriages, and especially not (as they should) thinking of two individuals devoted to one another, or gay couples with children from adoption or previous relationships, trying to raise them as loving families.
I think opposition to gay marriage is based on people's minds being stuck on the honeymoon.
When straight people see a straight couple, their first thoughts may be "do they have children/what are their kids like?" or maybe what they do for a living or where they live, or just how they -- standing there clothed and well-behaved with no more physical contact than holding hands (aww, how cute!) make an attractive couple.
When straight people see a gay couple, in the exact same context, even if they are not holding hands (eww!) or, god-forbid, kissing (disgusting!), their first thought is these two naked in bed, complete with speculation of the physiological mechanics of what-goes-where.
It's like the reaction to someone saying they are going to breed a great Dane and a Chihuahua -- the brain skips right to the "how to they 'do it'?"
Our lives are more than sex. Unfortunately, for the homoSEXual that aspect of their being is always front and center.
But gay families, like straight families, eat meals, watch movies, play board and video games, go on road trips, attend church and share everyday life experiences. Their kids go to school. The parents hold jobs.
And at night in bed -- well that's their business. And don't freak out at the thought of a gay couple doing "what they do" after bedtime in a closed room in the same house as their children. In any straight family in which a child has a non-twin sibling, you can be assured that their parents "did it" while a kid was somewhere in the house -- and we don't give that a second thought.
And it's because of these immature hang-ups that we add to the burden of hassles that gay families have to deal with -- issues as simple as picking up a kid from school or visiting a family member at the hospital, things straight-couple families take for granted. Plus the children get the burden of knowing that their parents are second-class citizens under the law.
A number of protesters will be at the Statehouse today to watch the state Senate approve the anti-gay marriage amendment (which forbids civil unions and straight common-law marriage as well). I hope they bring their kids.
But the biggest problem is not the injustice itself, but the manner in which people look at the issue.
The church I go to is the local member of Metropolitan Community Churches, the "gay church," founded and mostly attended by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Christians, with a growing number of straight allies like myself. I helped arrange to use some of the church's meeting space for a secular club that needed a place for its monthly meetings. During one of the first of these gatherings, a couple of members noticed the church's nursery area, and asked about it. They seemed honestly surprised that church members have small children. In fact, the church conducts Sunday School for toddlers, kids and teens, which number about one to two dozen each week (overall attendance gets as high as about 400 for late-morning service).
This honest surprise that gay couples have kids (even by people who have adjusted their thinking to include that gay people can be Christians) was startling to me, and pointed to the possibility that this may not be common knowledge in the general public.
Thus it's frustrating that no one is making an important point about the proposed anti-gay marriage amendment to the Indiana state constitution, and laws like the Defense of Marriage Act: THESE LAWS DESTROY FAMILIES.
And it's an incredible irony, because such measures are touted as being "pro-family."
Prohibitions to gay marriage do nothing to protect or preserve straight marriage, and allowing gays to marry has no effect whatsoever on straights marrying. Deep down we should all know this.
But I think the problem is that this is not the first thing that the general population thinks of when they consider this issue -- not that gay marriage will somehow degrade or annul straight marriages, and especially not (as they should) thinking of two individuals devoted to one another, or gay couples with children from adoption or previous relationships, trying to raise them as loving families.
I think opposition to gay marriage is based on people's minds being stuck on the honeymoon.
When straight people see a straight couple, their first thoughts may be "do they have children/what are their kids like?" or maybe what they do for a living or where they live, or just how they -- standing there clothed and well-behaved with no more physical contact than holding hands (aww, how cute!) make an attractive couple.
When straight people see a gay couple, in the exact same context, even if they are not holding hands (eww!) or, god-forbid, kissing (disgusting!), their first thought is these two naked in bed, complete with speculation of the physiological mechanics of what-goes-where.
It's like the reaction to someone saying they are going to breed a great Dane and a Chihuahua -- the brain skips right to the "how to they 'do it'?"
Our lives are more than sex. Unfortunately, for the homoSEXual that aspect of their being is always front and center.
But gay families, like straight families, eat meals, watch movies, play board and video games, go on road trips, attend church and share everyday life experiences. Their kids go to school. The parents hold jobs.
And at night in bed -- well that's their business. And don't freak out at the thought of a gay couple doing "what they do" after bedtime in a closed room in the same house as their children. In any straight family in which a child has a non-twin sibling, you can be assured that their parents "did it" while a kid was somewhere in the house -- and we don't give that a second thought.
And it's because of these immature hang-ups that we add to the burden of hassles that gay families have to deal with -- issues as simple as picking up a kid from school or visiting a family member at the hospital, things straight-couple families take for granted. Plus the children get the burden of knowing that their parents are second-class citizens under the law.
A number of protesters will be at the Statehouse today to watch the state Senate approve the anti-gay marriage amendment (which forbids civil unions and straight common-law marriage as well). I hope they bring their kids.