look at me; being at a loss for words... nobody's at a loss for words better than me!
didn't have a bad dream last night. woop woop! in fact it was rather pleasant. quite a change. i didn't wake up in a panic. yeah! so today started rather well. in fact, the whole day was pretty good. it was beautiful outside! i slept with the windows open for the first time this year. in was 65 degrees all day! i got up, did some stuff around the house, my sister and i got hair dye... always fun... we went and did a little clothes shopping together, then we made cookies and dyed our hair! the best part was that mom bought me and my sister the outfits we'd tried on. it was a nice little gift and i thanked her soooooo much. i now own more than one pair of jeans. that makes me happy indeed! :)
i then got to hang out with one of my best friends (regardless of what his controlling girlfriend thinks of me) for the first time in about a month. it was wonderful! but then also a little bittersweet... but i suppose that's a topic for another day.
after that i stoped by work and saw another two friends of mine for a bit and i came home. waited what felt like forever for my mother to get off the computer and by the time i got here at last i had a message from someone i care very very deeply for.. "i need to talk to you, its an emergency". only thing was he'd sent it to me nearly an hour before i got it. my heart almost stopped beating. i tried messaging back, but with no response. so i called. i hate calling people unless they ask me to. i don't know why but i always feel like a bother. but i had to call.. i had to know why he needed me; what was wrong. so i called. things were ok. it appeared that the moment of panic had passed, but it turned out to be good that i had made that call. he and i got to talk for a little over an hour and a half. we got a good deal of stuff (that needed to be brought up) taken care of. i feel so much better; like a burden of constant worry has been lightened. not removed... i'll still be rolling over this for a long, long time. but to know that he has made a choice that i think will make him happy, and to know that he is happy in the choosing comforts me. i'll just wait and do what he asks. but knowing he's ok makes this so much easier for me. so now i just wait for him to come back....
... but i wait in a pretty new outfit... :)
i then got to hang out with one of my best friends (regardless of what his controlling girlfriend thinks of me) for the first time in about a month. it was wonderful! but then also a little bittersweet... but i suppose that's a topic for another day.
after that i stoped by work and saw another two friends of mine for a bit and i came home. waited what felt like forever for my mother to get off the computer and by the time i got here at last i had a message from someone i care very very deeply for.. "i need to talk to you, its an emergency". only thing was he'd sent it to me nearly an hour before i got it. my heart almost stopped beating. i tried messaging back, but with no response. so i called. i hate calling people unless they ask me to. i don't know why but i always feel like a bother. but i had to call.. i had to know why he needed me; what was wrong. so i called. things were ok. it appeared that the moment of panic had passed, but it turned out to be good that i had made that call. he and i got to talk for a little over an hour and a half. we got a good deal of stuff (that needed to be brought up) taken care of. i feel so much better; like a burden of constant worry has been lightened. not removed... i'll still be rolling over this for a long, long time. but to know that he has made a choice that i think will make him happy, and to know that he is happy in the choosing comforts me. i'll just wait and do what he asks. but knowing he's ok makes this so much easier for me. so now i just wait for him to come back....
... but i wait in a pretty new outfit... :)