updates all around!
so i got a great present.... i now own an iPod! hooray! and i think i may have to send it in for repair! lol
see, the model i have is supposed to have 15 hours of playback time max, 8 hours minimum. right now i'm getting about 1 hour off a full charge. lucky me lol. i've done a software update and a battery test so if it doesn't hold its charge today i've got to send it back. i've had it less than a week. what karmic iPod gods have i fucked with? lol. fortunately i'm finding this downright funny rather than frustrating.... so there's that.
i keep dreaming about him. the whole first week he was gone i didn't dream at all and i kept sleeping still and waking up fine and rested. see, i used to be a horribly restless sleeper, tossing and turing all night, but when he and i started sharing the same mattress i was still. i might roll over, but not the restless fits i had when i slept alone. i thought that sleeping with him had broken that in me. apparently not. and about 4 days ago i started dreaming about him. we were together. we were happy. we would be at a mall or watching a movie or in bed together or eating dinner. nothing elaborate, just us. and i keep waking up surprised that he's not next to me. i keep rolling over expecting to curl into his side like i did for a year. and he's just not there. i'm not depressed, i just wake up genuinely surprised that he's not there. it takes only a moment to remember where i am and where he is, but it feels like it just trickles back over a few minutes. then i get up and go about my day...
then there's the kittens.. they're gone! i really wanted them to go to a co-worker but she wasn't able to take them so i put out an add and they found a home with a nice little blond vet's assistant. so obsidian and i are home alone. very nice. and the apartment smells great too lol.
let's see... what else? i'm sick. sinus infection. ugh. or rather *achoo* lol. in either case it's just yuckie lol
and then there's him. not the him that i spent hours, days, weeks, months, even a year pining over. not the him that i wrote about constantly. not the him that i moved to texas for. not the him that left me. no not him... another him. he's very sweet. and very shy, and apparently very interested. a mutual friend told me he's been interested since he met me but he knew better than to talk to someone who was claimed... but now that i'm not? well, i spent two nights this past weekend with him and we have plans to get together again later this week when i'm not dying of snot (lol). i like him. i'm just really unsure. a few co-workers want me to go for it, put myself out there. a few other co-workers want me to switch teams altogether (if you catch my drift lol). i don't know what i want... i want to talk to the other him, the first him. i want to sit down with him and close this. i'm not holding out hope that he and i will be an "us" again, i know that's foolish and pointless... but i do want to close one chapter before i start another one. i want to sit and talk and see what "we" are. i know things will never be the same and i'm ok with that. they don't have to be. he needs to do what's right for him, but i can't read two books at once, lol, never could.... so he told me to contact him around his birthday. he turns 23 on the 19th (which would have been month #16). i had to cancel the flowers i'd already ordered for him. i suppose i'll call him when i get off work next thursday (the 18th) and see if we can get together for dinner or something. it's at least a start.... or an end, which ever it needs to be....
**and have i ever mentioned how much i love when an agent puts me on hold and i hear a song i like? :) **
see, the model i have is supposed to have 15 hours of playback time max, 8 hours minimum. right now i'm getting about 1 hour off a full charge. lucky me lol. i've done a software update and a battery test so if it doesn't hold its charge today i've got to send it back. i've had it less than a week. what karmic iPod gods have i fucked with? lol. fortunately i'm finding this downright funny rather than frustrating.... so there's that.
i keep dreaming about him. the whole first week he was gone i didn't dream at all and i kept sleeping still and waking up fine and rested. see, i used to be a horribly restless sleeper, tossing and turing all night, but when he and i started sharing the same mattress i was still. i might roll over, but not the restless fits i had when i slept alone. i thought that sleeping with him had broken that in me. apparently not. and about 4 days ago i started dreaming about him. we were together. we were happy. we would be at a mall or watching a movie or in bed together or eating dinner. nothing elaborate, just us. and i keep waking up surprised that he's not next to me. i keep rolling over expecting to curl into his side like i did for a year. and he's just not there. i'm not depressed, i just wake up genuinely surprised that he's not there. it takes only a moment to remember where i am and where he is, but it feels like it just trickles back over a few minutes. then i get up and go about my day...
then there's the kittens.. they're gone! i really wanted them to go to a co-worker but she wasn't able to take them so i put out an add and they found a home with a nice little blond vet's assistant. so obsidian and i are home alone. very nice. and the apartment smells great too lol.
let's see... what else? i'm sick. sinus infection. ugh. or rather *achoo* lol. in either case it's just yuckie lol
and then there's him. not the him that i spent hours, days, weeks, months, even a year pining over. not the him that i wrote about constantly. not the him that i moved to texas for. not the him that left me. no not him... another him. he's very sweet. and very shy, and apparently very interested. a mutual friend told me he's been interested since he met me but he knew better than to talk to someone who was claimed... but now that i'm not? well, i spent two nights this past weekend with him and we have plans to get together again later this week when i'm not dying of snot (lol). i like him. i'm just really unsure. a few co-workers want me to go for it, put myself out there. a few other co-workers want me to switch teams altogether (if you catch my drift lol). i don't know what i want... i want to talk to the other him, the first him. i want to sit down with him and close this. i'm not holding out hope that he and i will be an "us" again, i know that's foolish and pointless... but i do want to close one chapter before i start another one. i want to sit and talk and see what "we" are. i know things will never be the same and i'm ok with that. they don't have to be. he needs to do what's right for him, but i can't read two books at once, lol, never could.... so he told me to contact him around his birthday. he turns 23 on the 19th (which would have been month #16). i had to cancel the flowers i'd already ordered for him. i suppose i'll call him when i get off work next thursday (the 18th) and see if we can get together for dinner or something. it's at least a start.... or an end, which ever it needs to be....
**and have i ever mentioned how much i love when an agent puts me on hold and i hear a song i like? :) **