long time *cough gag cough* no see....
i survived! i kinda wish i hadn't!
sad way to kick things off, huh? well the surgery itself was not all that bad. lots of sleeping. dry mouth with a rather funny taste all the way in the back. my family there for me. ok that wasn't so bad. then we get home. i gotta swallow pain pills and eat and drink. dear god just kill me now. wednesday the 8th, 1st day after the surgery, was kind of a blur. lots of sleep with the "wake up and eat this or i shall smite you" comment coming every so often from my mom. **i kid because i love you mom. you know i would never have made it through this if it weren't for you** thursday brought little difference. it was my 20th birthday and that didn't change the fact that i felt like complete shit and wanted death to come swiftly. and friday, with the exception that it was no longer my birthday, much the same.
then there was saturday. i felt good! i ate! i had cake and ice cream, potato soup, mashed potatoes and more pain meds than rush limbaugh ever dreamed of! i was feeling wonderful! but then came sunday. did you know that for every good day you have after surgery god stops loving you? i muddled through the day. had a good friend come see me which made things better for the afternoon, but by that night i was miserable. i mean miserable. i feel so bad that they had to go through that with me but i would have died had they not been there. thank you both for everything...
monday brought a trip to the doctors. basically i got a "sucks to be you" report meaning it would all be better... i just had to wait it out. don't you hate those?!?!? then when we left the doctors we had to go to the vets. my dog of nearly 14 years had to be put to sleep. her heart condition of the last 2 years or so had finally got the best of her. my mom went in and held her while they did it. i couldn't. i didn't want to cry because i couldn't imagine how much more that would have made my throat hurt. i feel so selfish. like "yeah, i loved you and all, but i can't hold you while you die because my throat hurts"? how much of a bitch does that make me? i still haven't cried for her. i still won't let myself... i feel guilty as shit....
but things with my throat are slowly, but surely, improving. yesterday i was alright with my pain meds round the clock and today (after i slept most of the afternoon away) i got up, took a shower and washed my hair and have been sitting here typing and eating the best mac and cheese ever to come from a box. i'm not really sure as i've only heard stories and such... but this very well could be better than sex...
anyways... at least i'm back up to speed at long last. my best guy friend got me system of a down's new cd and i'm hoping in the next day or two i can head over to salisbury and spend some birthday money on a few more cds. that plus this yummy chocolate/coffee drink from barnes and noble and i can die a happy woman.
sad way to kick things off, huh? well the surgery itself was not all that bad. lots of sleeping. dry mouth with a rather funny taste all the way in the back. my family there for me. ok that wasn't so bad. then we get home. i gotta swallow pain pills and eat and drink. dear god just kill me now. wednesday the 8th, 1st day after the surgery, was kind of a blur. lots of sleep with the "wake up and eat this or i shall smite you" comment coming every so often from my mom. **i kid because i love you mom. you know i would never have made it through this if it weren't for you** thursday brought little difference. it was my 20th birthday and that didn't change the fact that i felt like complete shit and wanted death to come swiftly. and friday, with the exception that it was no longer my birthday, much the same.
then there was saturday. i felt good! i ate! i had cake and ice cream, potato soup, mashed potatoes and more pain meds than rush limbaugh ever dreamed of! i was feeling wonderful! but then came sunday. did you know that for every good day you have after surgery god stops loving you? i muddled through the day. had a good friend come see me which made things better for the afternoon, but by that night i was miserable. i mean miserable. i feel so bad that they had to go through that with me but i would have died had they not been there. thank you both for everything...
monday brought a trip to the doctors. basically i got a "sucks to be you" report meaning it would all be better... i just had to wait it out. don't you hate those?!?!? then when we left the doctors we had to go to the vets. my dog of nearly 14 years had to be put to sleep. her heart condition of the last 2 years or so had finally got the best of her. my mom went in and held her while they did it. i couldn't. i didn't want to cry because i couldn't imagine how much more that would have made my throat hurt. i feel so selfish. like "yeah, i loved you and all, but i can't hold you while you die because my throat hurts"? how much of a bitch does that make me? i still haven't cried for her. i still won't let myself... i feel guilty as shit....
but things with my throat are slowly, but surely, improving. yesterday i was alright with my pain meds round the clock and today (after i slept most of the afternoon away) i got up, took a shower and washed my hair and have been sitting here typing and eating the best mac and cheese ever to come from a box. i'm not really sure as i've only heard stories and such... but this very well could be better than sex...
anyways... at least i'm back up to speed at long last. my best guy friend got me system of a down's new cd and i'm hoping in the next day or two i can head over to salisbury and spend some birthday money on a few more cds. that plus this yummy chocolate/coffee drink from barnes and noble and i can die a happy woman.