There's just so much!!
(going on, that is)
There's so much going and I'm honestly at a complete loss on documenting it. There will be absolutely no rhyme or reason to this entry.
I've been crazy tired lately. Not too sure why. I'm not doing anything that far outside of my normal routine (to my knowledge), but exhaustion seems to be a big part of my life at the moment heh. Example? Saturday I got up around 11ish. I hung out at the house, the usual cleaning at such. Did the grocery shopping and had nothing else to do that day, so I sat down to read for a little while (around 5:30ish). I woke up on the sofa at 8. At which point I went to bed and did not get up again till 10:30. Technically it was like 9:30 given the time change, but that's still 16 uninterrupted hours of sleep. And when I woke up I was still pretty tired. But I knew if I didn't get up I'd hate myself considerably. So I got out of bed. I decided to make some cookies (as I am wont to do from time to time) and, after that, I went out with a friend for some Indian food. Friday night I went to see Slumdog Millionaire and it was awesome, but I left the theater with a strong desire for a marlboro menthol light and a samosa. So I made my friend go with me for some Indian food. And it was so good :)
After that we just fucked off all afternoon. Went shopping and did the bookstore bit. I proceeded to buy the soundtrack for Slumdog and a book on urban legends. Neither of which I needed, both of which I wanted. During the course of the day I also found out this friend and my ex had slept together. Fun! LMAO Seriously, I'm not upset in the least, but he will never hear the end of it.
What else? I've been having some odd/fucked up dreams. I dreamed about being stuck in a horrible situation where I had to watch something I never wanted to see and I had no way to escape the situation. I actually woke up disgusted to be in my own bed - like it needed to be bleached. The next night was the dream of working at blockbuster video again only to sob on the job because I had forgotten everything I'd ever known about the position. Back to back nights there were dreams of two best friends - one I'd had when I was much younger, and one who I've lost contact with since my move. I was able to reconnect with both of them in these dreams and I woke up sad that they were just dreams. And last night? My ex drove to see me before he went to work. To give me a viola. In my parent's living room in Maryland. WTF anyone?
And that brings us to this morning. As someone put it - I was woken up.. with science! At 5:53 this morning I heard something blare through my apartment complex louder than a car alarm. Granted my window was open given the weather of late, but I heard the start of a familiar tune followed by "It's poetry in motion, And when she turned her eyes to me As deep as any ocean, As sweet as any harmony. She blinded me with science And failed me in geometry..." and on and on for at least 75% of the song before someone either turned it off or turned it down to a point I could no longer hear it. Either way it woke me up 20 some minutes before my alarm was due to go off, but I still laid there giggling at the oddness of it all.
Last but not least, I've come to a conclusion about myself that really bothers me, but I can't seem to make it go away none the less. I've always always always been really proud of the fact that I don't judge people based on appearance (you know, the whole book/cover thing) and I've always felt others should be that way too - namely because of my weight. It took me a very very long time to come to terms with myself and, not only accept but, embrace my appearance. I still have my insecurities from time to time, but overall I really like how I look and carry myself. And I think people should base interest and attraction (both as friends and potential partners) on the whole "package" rather than just appearance. And, try as I may, I can't seem to do that with some people.
I have a couple of friends that I am painfully attracted to. One of them is not much taller than I and he's a little over 200lbs, so he's not skinny by any means. And I have another that's +6 feet tall and 400lbs easy, and I still find him attractive. But both of them have incredible personalities that I came to know and love first. In general, however, I'm not attracted to overweight men. And that makes me sad. I feel guilty that, being overweight myself, I find too much weight on a man to be a turn off. I like skinny boys. And I feel absolutely horrible about this. Women? I love the curves - skinny women are a turn off, but it's the complete opposite on guys. I just think it's ridiculous that I have a preference. And it's really ridiculous that I have so much guilt over having a preference. Dammit.
So there's all the randomness I have for now. I'm sure there's more, but it can wait for a little while longer.
There's so much going and I'm honestly at a complete loss on documenting it. There will be absolutely no rhyme or reason to this entry.
I've been crazy tired lately. Not too sure why. I'm not doing anything that far outside of my normal routine (to my knowledge), but exhaustion seems to be a big part of my life at the moment heh. Example? Saturday I got up around 11ish. I hung out at the house, the usual cleaning at such. Did the grocery shopping and had nothing else to do that day, so I sat down to read for a little while (around 5:30ish). I woke up on the sofa at 8. At which point I went to bed and did not get up again till 10:30. Technically it was like 9:30 given the time change, but that's still 16 uninterrupted hours of sleep. And when I woke up I was still pretty tired. But I knew if I didn't get up I'd hate myself considerably. So I got out of bed. I decided to make some cookies (as I am wont to do from time to time) and, after that, I went out with a friend for some Indian food. Friday night I went to see Slumdog Millionaire and it was awesome, but I left the theater with a strong desire for a marlboro menthol light and a samosa. So I made my friend go with me for some Indian food. And it was so good :)
After that we just fucked off all afternoon. Went shopping and did the bookstore bit. I proceeded to buy the soundtrack for Slumdog and a book on urban legends. Neither of which I needed, both of which I wanted. During the course of the day I also found out this friend and my ex had slept together. Fun! LMAO Seriously, I'm not upset in the least, but he will never hear the end of it.
What else? I've been having some odd/fucked up dreams. I dreamed about being stuck in a horrible situation where I had to watch something I never wanted to see and I had no way to escape the situation. I actually woke up disgusted to be in my own bed - like it needed to be bleached. The next night was the dream of working at blockbuster video again only to sob on the job because I had forgotten everything I'd ever known about the position. Back to back nights there were dreams of two best friends - one I'd had when I was much younger, and one who I've lost contact with since my move. I was able to reconnect with both of them in these dreams and I woke up sad that they were just dreams. And last night? My ex drove to see me before he went to work. To give me a viola. In my parent's living room in Maryland. WTF anyone?
And that brings us to this morning. As someone put it - I was woken up.. with science! At 5:53 this morning I heard something blare through my apartment complex louder than a car alarm. Granted my window was open given the weather of late, but I heard the start of a familiar tune followed by "It's poetry in motion, And when she turned her eyes to me As deep as any ocean, As sweet as any harmony. She blinded me with science And failed me in geometry..." and on and on for at least 75% of the song before someone either turned it off or turned it down to a point I could no longer hear it. Either way it woke me up 20 some minutes before my alarm was due to go off, but I still laid there giggling at the oddness of it all.
Last but not least, I've come to a conclusion about myself that really bothers me, but I can't seem to make it go away none the less. I've always always always been really proud of the fact that I don't judge people based on appearance (you know, the whole book/cover thing) and I've always felt others should be that way too - namely because of my weight. It took me a very very long time to come to terms with myself and, not only accept but, embrace my appearance. I still have my insecurities from time to time, but overall I really like how I look and carry myself. And I think people should base interest and attraction (both as friends and potential partners) on the whole "package" rather than just appearance. And, try as I may, I can't seem to do that with some people.
I have a couple of friends that I am painfully attracted to. One of them is not much taller than I and he's a little over 200lbs, so he's not skinny by any means. And I have another that's +6 feet tall and 400lbs easy, and I still find him attractive. But both of them have incredible personalities that I came to know and love first. In general, however, I'm not attracted to overweight men. And that makes me sad. I feel guilty that, being overweight myself, I find too much weight on a man to be a turn off. I like skinny boys. And I feel absolutely horrible about this. Women? I love the curves - skinny women are a turn off, but it's the complete opposite on guys. I just think it's ridiculous that I have a preference. And it's really ridiculous that I have so much guilt over having a preference. Dammit.
So there's all the randomness I have for now. I'm sure there's more, but it can wait for a little while longer.