Sometimes, it's hard to tell if things are falling apart, or finally falling into place.
Does anyone else ever get these perfect, beautiful moments? Where nothing at the time is right, nothing's fitting into place, but you just know it's _go_ing to!? It's like you can see that light at the end of the tunnel!
I can almost see that light, that hope, that assurance that everything's about to fall into it's proper spot. I've got a hazy glow right now, but I'm sure it's there. It's a tingling in my subconscious. Like a swig of Felix Felicis, I just have a feeling that the way I'm headed is the way I'm supposed to be going, even if it doesn't make sense right now.
I'm not where I thought I'd be at 28. My early life plan had me with a wonderful husband, a couple car seats and family vacations by now. The wonderful husband hasn't happened, so the babies with blond curls haven't happened either. Not yet, at least. My life plan also didn't involve training for a half marathon right now, either. It didn't involve being so comfortable with myself I could go to New York alone. It didn't involve 50 mile bike rides. Or meeting amazing people along the way that I can encourage and cheer on, and in turn be encouraged. Or pushing myself farther than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't have times, looking at the beautiful children of my friend's, or hearing about another friend's engagement where I want that, too. When I wonder what I'm doing wrong to not have those joyful occasions also.
But then I get that glimpse of the glitter of light, and I realize that my route may not be mapped out, but I'll still get to my destination. And I'm sure I'll get there right on time.
I can almost see that light, that hope, that assurance that everything's about to fall into it's proper spot. I've got a hazy glow right now, but I'm sure it's there. It's a tingling in my subconscious. Like a swig of Felix Felicis, I just have a feeling that the way I'm headed is the way I'm supposed to be going, even if it doesn't make sense right now.
I'm not where I thought I'd be at 28. My early life plan had me with a wonderful husband, a couple car seats and family vacations by now. The wonderful husband hasn't happened, so the babies with blond curls haven't happened either. Not yet, at least. My life plan also didn't involve training for a half marathon right now, either. It didn't involve being so comfortable with myself I could go to New York alone. It didn't involve 50 mile bike rides. Or meeting amazing people along the way that I can encourage and cheer on, and in turn be encouraged. Or pushing myself farther than I could have ever hoped or dreamed.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't have times, looking at the beautiful children of my friend's, or hearing about another friend's engagement where I want that, too. When I wonder what I'm doing wrong to not have those joyful occasions also.
But then I get that glimpse of the glitter of light, and I realize that my route may not be mapped out, but I'll still get to my destination. And I'm sure I'll get there right on time.