moving on....
i have a couple friends from des moines who consistantly call me. by consistantly, we're talking every day, or at the very least every other day. this used to make me really happy, when i was on bed rest and couldn't go out and do things. when i didn't know anyone here. but now it's getting a little old... especially since the two people in mind seem to think that i should answer and be ready to talk for hours every time they call me.
i have a bit of a life now... i work 25 hours every week, and then have at least one class every day, mostly two. this makes for 12-14 hour days at least 3 days a week... and that's before you add in the guy i'm dating, who likes to see me on a regular basis.
this isn't to say i don't want anyone to call me, or that i don't want to keep up with my friends from back in iowa. on the contrary, i have friends who call once every week or two, just to see how it's going, and whom i know i can call if i have any major issues to discuss. the nice thing about those friends is, if either of us doesn't answer the phone or isn't able to text, nobody gets upset. and the other nice thing is, i rarely if ever end up playing shrink for them, having to listen to an hour's worth of drama unfolding 5 hours away from me every day.
i love both these friends very much. when i lived near them, they were probably 2 of the best friends i had. but at this point, i HATE hearing their drama. i can't do anything for them from here, and i feel like they're unfair in being upset with me so often for hitting ignore when they call or not responding to text messages. i can't answer at work or in class, and no i will not break up with my boyfriend for either of them, because right now he's MY way of destressing.
one of the two friends, we will call him zepheniah, is wayyy jealous of joshua (the boyfriend) and keeps trying to find any reason for me to break up with him. keeps telling me i'm getting too excited about this relationship and i'm only gonna get my heart broken. example. last night i texted him from a party josh & i went to, about 45 minutes away from home. we were in his friends' apartment with 4 other people i didn't know, one of which is josh's best friend (who i have met once, but he's the only one i'd met). about midnight, i was texting zepheniah and i mentioned that i was tired & ready to go, but that we were playing cranium and josh was really into it. and he went balistic trying to tell me that i was afraid to ask josh to go home, that he wasn't doing me any good, that he should respect what i wanted. and every time i tried to tell him he was going a little overboard, he told me that i was too close to the situation to realize that i was getting taken advantage of.
this makes me a little bit angry. and yes, i'm writing a lot and bitching the whole time about people who will never read this, but i have no idea how to confront these friends. i don't want to lose them completely, but it'd be nice to be able to talk twice a month and not have them get so upset about it. i simply don't have the time or the energy to keep up this kind of daily friendship with two people i rarely see. and contrary to popular belief, i'm not oprah. i don't have the answers and at this point i can't even give them a hug when they're depressed. most days i can't even offer a soft word because they MAKE most of their own drama and that'd piss me off even if i was there with them.
i've tried explaining to them that i just don't have time anymore. and both of them say they understand, and then skip a day and start calling again. why me? can't they start calling each other religiously? or, better yet, get lives of their own? i'm just about ready to snap.
i have a bit of a life now... i work 25 hours every week, and then have at least one class every day, mostly two. this makes for 12-14 hour days at least 3 days a week... and that's before you add in the guy i'm dating, who likes to see me on a regular basis.
this isn't to say i don't want anyone to call me, or that i don't want to keep up with my friends from back in iowa. on the contrary, i have friends who call once every week or two, just to see how it's going, and whom i know i can call if i have any major issues to discuss. the nice thing about those friends is, if either of us doesn't answer the phone or isn't able to text, nobody gets upset. and the other nice thing is, i rarely if ever end up playing shrink for them, having to listen to an hour's worth of drama unfolding 5 hours away from me every day.
i love both these friends very much. when i lived near them, they were probably 2 of the best friends i had. but at this point, i HATE hearing their drama. i can't do anything for them from here, and i feel like they're unfair in being upset with me so often for hitting ignore when they call or not responding to text messages. i can't answer at work or in class, and no i will not break up with my boyfriend for either of them, because right now he's MY way of destressing.
one of the two friends, we will call him zepheniah, is wayyy jealous of joshua (the boyfriend) and keeps trying to find any reason for me to break up with him. keeps telling me i'm getting too excited about this relationship and i'm only gonna get my heart broken. example. last night i texted him from a party josh & i went to, about 45 minutes away from home. we were in his friends' apartment with 4 other people i didn't know, one of which is josh's best friend (who i have met once, but he's the only one i'd met). about midnight, i was texting zepheniah and i mentioned that i was tired & ready to go, but that we were playing cranium and josh was really into it. and he went balistic trying to tell me that i was afraid to ask josh to go home, that he wasn't doing me any good, that he should respect what i wanted. and every time i tried to tell him he was going a little overboard, he told me that i was too close to the situation to realize that i was getting taken advantage of.
this makes me a little bit angry. and yes, i'm writing a lot and bitching the whole time about people who will never read this, but i have no idea how to confront these friends. i don't want to lose them completely, but it'd be nice to be able to talk twice a month and not have them get so upset about it. i simply don't have the time or the energy to keep up this kind of daily friendship with two people i rarely see. and contrary to popular belief, i'm not oprah. i don't have the answers and at this point i can't even give them a hug when they're depressed. most days i can't even offer a soft word because they MAKE most of their own drama and that'd piss me off even if i was there with them.
i've tried explaining to them that i just don't have time anymore. and both of them say they understand, and then skip a day and start calling again. why me? can't they start calling each other religiously? or, better yet, get lives of their own? i'm just about ready to snap.