more nonsense
Still haven't figured out why I'm here, what I want when I get here, and where the fuck I think this will lead me, but I'm here. I'm feeling pretty down today. It started yesterday. To the point where I was running with Jen and I felt this immense sadness take over. I told her I might cry. I've been feeling sad and hopeless, and of course, over stupid boys. I want to give up every time I feel this, because it isn't right. Am I in the wrong place after all? I think so. It's more and more apparent, every day that goes by. And here I am, falling into Aasutumn, with no accomplishments and no headway into the future, my goals. Feeling lost yet again, not looking forward to the task that these seasons bring. And without a partner, yet again. I cried last night when a stupid boy called me. I'm tired of being hurt over and over again. I told him I didn't want to do it a third time. I cried last night because the boy who supposedly likes me and likes to kiss me at work, only likes to kiss me at work. I know now, that no matter the distance, neither of these bone heads want to spend time I am setting aside for them. And times up, I'm all out of time for them. Fuck, do I even bother. I'm still sad about this. Jen bounced to my cousins last night. I'll be spending the next two days alone, preparing for my son to come back home. Time to get lonely again.