(no subject)
So I got re-admitted to Trent today with a $1000 bursury. Steph also got an acceptance. Exciting huh? This is what we both wanted...to go away for the 8months, experience something new, go together to a new place. When I got the letter today I was considering it, and made my pros and cons because I really want to go, I don't want to be here anymore, I've had enough.
But of course, good things in this house don't last very long. Trent called me at dinner time to inform me about the offer and the open house. I said at the table that the call just makes things harder because they actually take the time to call, and because I want to go there. Then my mom tells me to just forget about it because I have York...I get a bit upset since I got this bursury and they are offereing me the acceptance again...and Steph got it as well! She then proceeds to tell my dad, who of course SNAPS ON ME! Tells me not even to consider it, and no. That's there's no money...told him I would get a student loan...not once did I ask them to pay for me, or was I thinking of depending on them to help me out..I was already thinking of a student loan. Then hes like no, you have a school right here, and a house..why go there...I said it's my future, I need to decide what I want to do. Then he goes on to say...go, if you go and something happens don't come back here for help.
What father makes that comment to their daughter?
He has no idea how hurtful the comments that he makes are. He can never just talk camly and talk things through. Why not hear my side, of why I want to go? Don't always go on what he knows, and what he feels. This is my future not his! He has not supported me at all these past 4 years, and for him to say that he's the one that has been supporting me is total bull. Mom has been the one paying for me, and been there for me and trying to help m e ...NOT YOU DAD! Not once have you told me that you're proud of me, or congratulated me for completing uni, or for getting into teachers college..and no one even said good job on getting that bursury...my first time ever getting something like that..and all i get is..oh don't even thikn about going.
I feel so worthless in the eyes of my dad, and no matter how hard I work in school and at my job theres like no recognition from him of even caring. There's nothing more i can do, and really..theres nothing more I want to do. It's not fair how you're treating me..and how you talk to me...there is no relationship b/w us..and really...i dont want one. Pushing me aside, making stupid comments towards me, and telling me to go but if somethign were to happen not to come back here is not how you should be talking to you're own friggin daughter.
You've hurt me so much over these past few years, and it's done.
I wish i didn't have to be here right now, I don't want to be living here.
I need out. I need an escape..i just can't and don't want to be here.
All it takes is to take nicely to me, not yell at me. I've been crying since, and I can't stop...thanks.
I hope you're satisfied.
I don't know what to feel right now, Im just really sad, hurt, and confused.
What i do know is i have an awesome best friend, and boyfriend. thank you both for being there for me tonight.
But of course, good things in this house don't last very long. Trent called me at dinner time to inform me about the offer and the open house. I said at the table that the call just makes things harder because they actually take the time to call, and because I want to go there. Then my mom tells me to just forget about it because I have York...I get a bit upset since I got this bursury and they are offereing me the acceptance again...and Steph got it as well! She then proceeds to tell my dad, who of course SNAPS ON ME! Tells me not even to consider it, and no. That's there's no money...told him I would get a student loan...not once did I ask them to pay for me, or was I thinking of depending on them to help me out..I was already thinking of a student loan. Then hes like no, you have a school right here, and a house..why go there...I said it's my future, I need to decide what I want to do. Then he goes on to say...go, if you go and something happens don't come back here for help.
What father makes that comment to their daughter?
He has no idea how hurtful the comments that he makes are. He can never just talk camly and talk things through. Why not hear my side, of why I want to go? Don't always go on what he knows, and what he feels. This is my future not his! He has not supported me at all these past 4 years, and for him to say that he's the one that has been supporting me is total bull. Mom has been the one paying for me, and been there for me and trying to help m e ...NOT YOU DAD! Not once have you told me that you're proud of me, or congratulated me for completing uni, or for getting into teachers college..and no one even said good job on getting that bursury...my first time ever getting something like that..and all i get is..oh don't even thikn about going.
I feel so worthless in the eyes of my dad, and no matter how hard I work in school and at my job theres like no recognition from him of even caring. There's nothing more i can do, and really..theres nothing more I want to do. It's not fair how you're treating me..and how you talk to me...there is no relationship b/w us..and really...i dont want one. Pushing me aside, making stupid comments towards me, and telling me to go but if somethign were to happen not to come back here is not how you should be talking to you're own friggin daughter.
You've hurt me so much over these past few years, and it's done.
I wish i didn't have to be here right now, I don't want to be living here.
I need out. I need an escape..i just can't and don't want to be here.
All it takes is to take nicely to me, not yell at me. I've been crying since, and I can't stop...thanks.
I hope you're satisfied.
I don't know what to feel right now, Im just really sad, hurt, and confused.
What i do know is i have an awesome best friend, and boyfriend. thank you both for being there for me tonight.