I’ll Scare Them All (Unintentionally)
The educational system here in Japan is something that continues to baffle me despite the fact that this is now my second bout with it. I still don’t understand why students don’t have spare paper in their desks no matter what school I go to. I still don’t understand why disciplining kids is considered a taboo, or why at some points a student will be praised to no end for absolutely the most minute and then criticized and berated for making an even smaller mistake. It truly is no wonder why the students hesitate to speak English outside of what they learn from the textbook. One of the bigger things that completely confounds me is why the teachers here transfer from school to school so much. I guess the argument can be made that keeping the teachers circulating will create a far more fresh work environment, but it must be one hell of a bitch to move all over the place all the time, especially since teachers can be forced to move clear across the prefecture at the request of the prefectural board of Education. When I tell my fellow staff members that transfers very rarely happen in the states they don’t quite seem to get the concept, but afterward they always tell me that it must be so nice to not have to move around and actually be able to settle down and make a home your own for more than three years at a time. I feel for you people!
At the end of each school year there is something called a 終了式 or in English it would be called a “completion assembly”. The entire school assembles in the gym and the students are told what wonderful jobs they’ve done throughout the year and are then sent home. The entire student body is forced to wake up and put on their schools uniforms just to hear that they have done a good job and NOT TO GO TO ANY GAME CENTERS SINCE THEY ARE A BREADING GROUND FOR FAILURE AND EVIL! At each vacation assembly the two things that are repeated more than any other are that arcades are evil and riding a bike without protection will result in the death of your entire family through your first born child in the years to come… but I digress. So the kids come to school to hear a bunch of crap and then go home. The teachers then head into the staff room and await the announcement from the principal as to who will be transferring out of the school that year. My first year here at Towa and a total of five staff members have been transferred. The first teacher who was announced was my JTE Okika. I’m going to miss her, as she was the teachers who helped me out the most upon my arrival here in Towa back in August of last year. I knew she was going to get transferred a long time ago, but the announcement just solidified it and made it sad, but I am glad that she won’t have an hour long commute to and from school now. The second announcement was our nurse and one of the kindest ladies I have ever been fortunate enough to meet. She is being transferred to Minami Sanriku right by my apartment. The next announcement was our librarian/helper kokugo teacher. I rarely talked with her, but when I did it was always pleasant, if not a little bookish. She is moving to my male JTE’s neighborhood where she will be working at an elementary school right near his apartment. He made sure to get up in there and let her know that she could visit him whenever she wanted to, it was really pretty sad, but this is just one half of this story, the later half comes in when he was in a drunken stupor late that night. The next two announced were our office worker dude and our home making teacher. I rarely talk with them, so it was kind of a meh type moment. After the announcement we all were allowed to make our rounds and say our words of thanks to everyone. There were a few tears shed, and then we all sat back down quiet for the remainder of the day.
After the work day was over I took off to my apartment to get ready for the party that night in honor of the staff who would be leaving. Our party was held at a really awesome hotel in downtown Sanuma and we were treated to some amazing food. After our toast as always my JTE began getting smashed immediately. After some late arrivals to the party we toasted again and then we all got up to talk to our departing staff members. My JTE made a B-line for the teacher who would be moving to the school closest to him. I watched him make some failed attempts at trying to flirt with her and after I could no longer bear the site of his failure I marched on over to them for a much needed cock block. I trumpeted her rescue as I marched over making sure to let my JTE know that he’d failed. It wouldn’t matter anyway since he never remembers anything when he’s drunk. After we got to talk with each teacher the first and second male teachers (myself included) were given bouquets of flowers and lined up in front of the transferring teachers. I made sure to get in front of my outgoing JTE so I could see hurt reaction. She was crying, but happy too so I was glad that I could make her smile a little before she would leave our school. After the flowers came the speeches. The Japanese have never been short on formality, and when it comes to speeches the ante is upped to levels unknown in the western world. The speeches were all heartfelt and kind, but throughout the entirety of the designated speech time my JTE would not shut his mouth. He kept making comments in Japanese out loud during speeches and even at one point even got a stern scolding from our principal, so then what does he do? He proceeds whisper very poorly worded English quips at me. I made sure to let him know that I would be doing the same thing at his farewell party as well, karma is a bitch afterall. After the speeches he made sure to get his ass over to our principal and apologize profusely, it was an awesome thing to watch indeed. After we finished dessert it was time for the after party, which my principal had been looking forward to all night long, so much so that he headed out a good ten minutes before everyone else. AND SO OUR STORY BEGINS!!!!!!
We got to 串太郎 and before anyone even sat down we had already ordered our first round of drinks. I had promised myself the day before that I would get completely shit faced that night since it had been since a long time. Most of the other male teachers were already pretty gone, but compared to what they can drink before they become blithering idiots I can drink about six times that. I smashed three beers in about 5 minutes and as soon as I had finished with that I ordered a thing of 澤の泉 and downed it. My first song of the night was “Amazing” by Aerosmith and I did not hold back. I screamed and hollered and belted out notes that would make any music major cry (sorry K-2) but I didn’t care. I was later informed that I had scared (maybe not to that extent) some of the staff members, but they can be reserved if they want, when I get wasted and karaoke I won’t hold back this beautiful singing voice… lolz. I was treated to a rendition of “Heavy Rotation” from some of the female staff and had an interesting conversation with our math teacher about his girlfriend which I don’t completely remember, but at some point in the discussion he fell off his seat. I also remember pizza and konyaku jello, but that is all.
Moving onto the after after party, we hit up my principals favorite karaoke bar on the Sanuma strip, a place called You You’s, but we didn’t stay long. I only got to sing two songs and I was pretty pissed, but we were given a ride home via taxi and didn’t have to pay for a dime of any of it. I crashed at my JTEs place and amazingly enough I didn’t have a hangover the next day. I thought for sure I would, but I didn’t. Before heading home we stopped at Kappa sushi for lunch. We were seated next to a father and son who instantly made me the topic their discussion. I asked my JTE (rhetorically, but since he is Japanese he doesn’t always get it) why the Japanese always feel the need to bring up foreign people as though we’re aliens (I ALREADY KNOW BUT ONCE AGAIN RHETORICAL). According to him I’m rare. LOL! After that I found my car at city hall and hauled my grody ass home for a much needed shower. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to make an English board…… fun…
At the end of each school year there is something called a 終了式 or in English it would be called a “completion assembly”. The entire school assembles in the gym and the students are told what wonderful jobs they’ve done throughout the year and are then sent home. The entire student body is forced to wake up and put on their schools uniforms just to hear that they have done a good job and NOT TO GO TO ANY GAME CENTERS SINCE THEY ARE A BREADING GROUND FOR FAILURE AND EVIL! At each vacation assembly the two things that are repeated more than any other are that arcades are evil and riding a bike without protection will result in the death of your entire family through your first born child in the years to come… but I digress. So the kids come to school to hear a bunch of crap and then go home. The teachers then head into the staff room and await the announcement from the principal as to who will be transferring out of the school that year. My first year here at Towa and a total of five staff members have been transferred. The first teacher who was announced was my JTE Okika. I’m going to miss her, as she was the teachers who helped me out the most upon my arrival here in Towa back in August of last year. I knew she was going to get transferred a long time ago, but the announcement just solidified it and made it sad, but I am glad that she won’t have an hour long commute to and from school now. The second announcement was our nurse and one of the kindest ladies I have ever been fortunate enough to meet. She is being transferred to Minami Sanriku right by my apartment. The next announcement was our librarian/helper kokugo teacher. I rarely talked with her, but when I did it was always pleasant, if not a little bookish. She is moving to my male JTE’s neighborhood where she will be working at an elementary school right near his apartment. He made sure to get up in there and let her know that she could visit him whenever she wanted to, it was really pretty sad, but this is just one half of this story, the later half comes in when he was in a drunken stupor late that night. The next two announced were our office worker dude and our home making teacher. I rarely talk with them, so it was kind of a meh type moment. After the announcement we all were allowed to make our rounds and say our words of thanks to everyone. There were a few tears shed, and then we all sat back down quiet for the remainder of the day.
After the work day was over I took off to my apartment to get ready for the party that night in honor of the staff who would be leaving. Our party was held at a really awesome hotel in downtown Sanuma and we were treated to some amazing food. After our toast as always my JTE began getting smashed immediately. After some late arrivals to the party we toasted again and then we all got up to talk to our departing staff members. My JTE made a B-line for the teacher who would be moving to the school closest to him. I watched him make some failed attempts at trying to flirt with her and after I could no longer bear the site of his failure I marched on over to them for a much needed cock block. I trumpeted her rescue as I marched over making sure to let my JTE know that he’d failed. It wouldn’t matter anyway since he never remembers anything when he’s drunk. After we got to talk with each teacher the first and second male teachers (myself included) were given bouquets of flowers and lined up in front of the transferring teachers. I made sure to get in front of my outgoing JTE so I could see hurt reaction. She was crying, but happy too so I was glad that I could make her smile a little before she would leave our school. After the flowers came the speeches. The Japanese have never been short on formality, and when it comes to speeches the ante is upped to levels unknown in the western world. The speeches were all heartfelt and kind, but throughout the entirety of the designated speech time my JTE would not shut his mouth. He kept making comments in Japanese out loud during speeches and even at one point even got a stern scolding from our principal, so then what does he do? He proceeds whisper very poorly worded English quips at me. I made sure to let him know that I would be doing the same thing at his farewell party as well, karma is a bitch afterall. After the speeches he made sure to get his ass over to our principal and apologize profusely, it was an awesome thing to watch indeed. After we finished dessert it was time for the after party, which my principal had been looking forward to all night long, so much so that he headed out a good ten minutes before everyone else. AND SO OUR STORY BEGINS!!!!!!
We got to 串太郎 and before anyone even sat down we had already ordered our first round of drinks. I had promised myself the day before that I would get completely shit faced that night since it had been since a long time. Most of the other male teachers were already pretty gone, but compared to what they can drink before they become blithering idiots I can drink about six times that. I smashed three beers in about 5 minutes and as soon as I had finished with that I ordered a thing of 澤の泉 and downed it. My first song of the night was “Amazing” by Aerosmith and I did not hold back. I screamed and hollered and belted out notes that would make any music major cry (sorry K-2) but I didn’t care. I was later informed that I had scared (maybe not to that extent) some of the staff members, but they can be reserved if they want, when I get wasted and karaoke I won’t hold back this beautiful singing voice… lolz. I was treated to a rendition of “Heavy Rotation” from some of the female staff and had an interesting conversation with our math teacher about his girlfriend which I don’t completely remember, but at some point in the discussion he fell off his seat. I also remember pizza and konyaku jello, but that is all.
Moving onto the after after party, we hit up my principals favorite karaoke bar on the Sanuma strip, a place called You You’s, but we didn’t stay long. I only got to sing two songs and I was pretty pissed, but we were given a ride home via taxi and didn’t have to pay for a dime of any of it. I crashed at my JTEs place and amazingly enough I didn’t have a hangover the next day. I thought for sure I would, but I didn’t. Before heading home we stopped at Kappa sushi for lunch. We were seated next to a father and son who instantly made me the topic their discussion. I asked my JTE (rhetorically, but since he is Japanese he doesn’t always get it) why the Japanese always feel the need to bring up foreign people as though we’re aliens (I ALREADY KNOW BUT ONCE AGAIN RHETORICAL). According to him I’m rare. LOL! After that I found my car at city hall and hauled my grody ass home for a much needed shower. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to make an English board…… fun…