a new arrival.
so, apparently, our old toilet seat wasn't good enough anymore.
i admit, it did have an assortion of suspicious looking stains upon it, and many a bulbous swelling, but come on...
i had grown to love the little guy: the cold stone against my thigh, the melancholy thud as it collided with the cistern - i'm really going to miss him.
and imagining the rejection he felt just makes it ten times worse:
mum just came along, and without warning she plucked him from his toilet (which he has resided at for about 3 - 4 years) and sends him off to live in a cold alleyway, left only with the prospect of incineration.
and i never got to say goodbye. mum sent him away without warning me.
if i had known my final piss was going to be my final piss, i would of made it a much more special moment between us two.
but no.
he's gone now.
but yeah, we got this new guy.
and he's a bit of a cocky so and so.
he think's he's got it all because mum loves him, dad approved of him, and my brother let out excited screams when he noticed his arrival.
AND he's shiny.
nothing screams 'twat' more than a shiny outfit.
ah well.
in time my thighs may warm his cold metal exterior, and things may turn out ok after all.
[john major is mine and grace's favourite politician.]