Hello, my name is Cristy...
... and I'm addicted to feeling sorry for myself. I have a self-pity problem. I have a problem. I've been pretending I'm a "glass is half-full" kind of person when really all I want is for the world to notice "how well I'm handling that half-empty glass situation."
I am constantly giving myself pick-me-up speeches. I try not to dwell, but I don't think I succeed most of the time.
I came across a pretty cool website: http://www.readingaddiction.com/12/recovery-issues/stop-feeling-sorry-for-yourself-and-overcome-self-pity-a-step-by-step-guide while searching for who knows what this morning, and it actually had some good tips I'm going to try.
One of the things that I think I really need to let sink in is that, "Self pity is self-centered thinking." I don't think we realize that we're being self-centered when we're feeling sorry for ourselves. I mean, the bad stuff really is happening. I'm not imagining it. So, naturally, the world needs to feel bad for me and all my woes. Hmmm... I think the biggest lesson I need to get out of this is this: Nobody is going to honestly sympathize with someone who is already handling the sympathizing themselves. And, I don't mean that we should not show that we're going through something bad or should not feel genuine sadness. Just that as long as we yearn for everyone around us to recognize what a hard time we're having and pat us on the back and feel bad for us, we're never going to get that reaction. Not really. Some people may still offer you sympathy, but it's not the kind that's going to do you any good. The world's not fair. Period. The world doesn't revolve around me. And, the sooner I realize it and get my butt off the floor and start walking again, the sooner I'll feel something other than sadness.
So - in pursuit of that better feeling, I'm going to do a few of their recommended steps:
1. Make a Zero Tolerance Policy Agreement with myself. The agreement is that I am absolutely not going to allow myself to wallow around in self pity.
I will not permit myself to get trapped in a cycle of self pity - I will recognize in moments of "down-ness" when I'm doing something other than feeling genuine sadness, and I will immediately change what I'm doing and feeling.
2. Adopt a Self-Empowering Plan of Action - be goal-oriented and action-oriented.
I will make sure that I am accomplishing something every day. I will work on various aspects of my life - studying, improving my surroundings, improving my health - every day.
3. Focus on Gratitude - see the glass as half full. Instead of my usual, "Today's rough because..." my NEW mantra will be: “I am grateful today because…” - and keep finding things to say it about.
I am grateful today because Tom and I are on a positive path to start experiencing a better standard of life. Our car is paid off, and we will start being able to save again and go out and do things without as much money stress. I am grateful that Tom is the person I'm experiencing this with - he and I work well together and can tackle this as a positive team.
Now, on to studying! Better late than never! :)
Love to family!
Cristy
I am constantly giving myself pick-me-up speeches. I try not to dwell, but I don't think I succeed most of the time.
I came across a pretty cool website: http://www.readingaddiction.com/12/recovery-issues/stop-feeling-sorry-for-yourself-and-overcome-self-pity-a-step-by-step-guide while searching for who knows what this morning, and it actually had some good tips I'm going to try.
One of the things that I think I really need to let sink in is that, "Self pity is self-centered thinking." I don't think we realize that we're being self-centered when we're feeling sorry for ourselves. I mean, the bad stuff really is happening. I'm not imagining it. So, naturally, the world needs to feel bad for me and all my woes. Hmmm... I think the biggest lesson I need to get out of this is this: Nobody is going to honestly sympathize with someone who is already handling the sympathizing themselves. And, I don't mean that we should not show that we're going through something bad or should not feel genuine sadness. Just that as long as we yearn for everyone around us to recognize what a hard time we're having and pat us on the back and feel bad for us, we're never going to get that reaction. Not really. Some people may still offer you sympathy, but it's not the kind that's going to do you any good. The world's not fair. Period. The world doesn't revolve around me. And, the sooner I realize it and get my butt off the floor and start walking again, the sooner I'll feel something other than sadness.
So - in pursuit of that better feeling, I'm going to do a few of their recommended steps:
1. Make a Zero Tolerance Policy Agreement with myself. The agreement is that I am absolutely not going to allow myself to wallow around in self pity.
I will not permit myself to get trapped in a cycle of self pity - I will recognize in moments of "down-ness" when I'm doing something other than feeling genuine sadness, and I will immediately change what I'm doing and feeling.
2. Adopt a Self-Empowering Plan of Action - be goal-oriented and action-oriented.
I will make sure that I am accomplishing something every day. I will work on various aspects of my life - studying, improving my surroundings, improving my health - every day.
3. Focus on Gratitude - see the glass as half full. Instead of my usual, "Today's rough because..." my NEW mantra will be: “I am grateful today because…” - and keep finding things to say it about.
I am grateful today because Tom and I are on a positive path to start experiencing a better standard of life. Our car is paid off, and we will start being able to save again and go out and do things without as much money stress. I am grateful that Tom is the person I'm experiencing this with - he and I work well together and can tackle this as a positive team.
Now, on to studying! Better late than never! :)
Love to family!
Cristy