Duh
I have been a space cadet the last several days. Tom helps me keep aware of the fact that they've been jacking with my medication, so who knows what kind of response my emotions and hormones will have to all this yo-yo'ing. It's kind of funny, 'cause I can do both - I can be super aware of myself and understand the why behind why I'm behaving some way and explain it and change it and work on it one day, and then other times, I'm completely baffled as to why I've felt like crying for the 3rd time in two days. *sigh*
Because the Topamax (see here) experiment didn't work, I'm back to upping one of my other prescriptions to its previous norm. The bright side is that we now KNOW that the first prescription (not Topamax) does what we want it to, namely keep me from being depressed. Now, I just have to get it back into my system. When she was weaning me off of it in order to start the Topamax, I'd been down to a really low dose, and I'm only 1/3 of the way back. *sigh*
So, the last few days, I've not been my cheery (am I really cheery?) self. I've also had this weird spacey feeling. They always ask me when I go in to this particular doctor how my concentration is, and usually, I answer that it's pretty normal, but this last few days have been really weird. I can DO everything okay - paperwork, drive, function - but I just have a really hard time keeping focused and remembering my to-do list. Really weird for me.
I'm usually a very organized person. I organize my thoughts like people write a plan for a story - in outline form. Utopia, for me, would be God allowing me to use "Outline View" in my head. Oh, wouldn't life make so much more sense if everything we said was organized beforehand?! Wow. *sigh* Anyway...
I have felt this feeling before, and it *really* bothers me, and I can't remember what I might have done that time that I could be doing again. I don't feel like myself (but not like those wonderful unmentionable commercials - geesh - why'd they have to go and mess up normal phrases?). I feel like a disjointed version. Disorganized.
Maybe I'm not getting enough of some vitamin or something? I've been eating a lot of salad lately - always with some chicken in it, but salad, nonetheless. Maybe I need protein? I have no idea. But, it feels really weird.
C
Because the Topamax (see here) experiment didn't work, I'm back to upping one of my other prescriptions to its previous norm. The bright side is that we now KNOW that the first prescription (not Topamax) does what we want it to, namely keep me from being depressed. Now, I just have to get it back into my system. When she was weaning me off of it in order to start the Topamax, I'd been down to a really low dose, and I'm only 1/3 of the way back. *sigh*
So, the last few days, I've not been my cheery (am I really cheery?) self. I've also had this weird spacey feeling. They always ask me when I go in to this particular doctor how my concentration is, and usually, I answer that it's pretty normal, but this last few days have been really weird. I can DO everything okay - paperwork, drive, function - but I just have a really hard time keeping focused and remembering my to-do list. Really weird for me.
I'm usually a very organized person. I organize my thoughts like people write a plan for a story - in outline form. Utopia, for me, would be God allowing me to use "Outline View" in my head. Oh, wouldn't life make so much more sense if everything we said was organized beforehand?! Wow. *sigh* Anyway...
I have felt this feeling before, and it *really* bothers me, and I can't remember what I might have done that time that I could be doing again. I don't feel like myself (but not like those wonderful unmentionable commercials - geesh - why'd they have to go and mess up normal phrases?). I feel like a disjointed version. Disorganized.
Maybe I'm not getting enough of some vitamin or something? I've been eating a lot of salad lately - always with some chicken in it, but salad, nonetheless. Maybe I need protein? I have no idea. But, it feels really weird.
C