Fic: Feeling This (Lilly) R
Title:Feeling This
Author:xxxlolaxxx_star
Pairing/Character:Lilly(D/V, L/L, Lilly/Aaron, Lilly/Weevil
Word Count:2,183
Rating:R
Summary:Song Fic for Feeling This by Blink-182, Basicly goes into Lilly and why she was with Aaron and her reaction to everything.
Spoilers/Warnings:everythings game with me
A/N: This song has been driving me nuts for a while every time I hear it I think about Lilly so here I am doing something about it. Hope you like it. I think I did a pretty good job of it. Read and Review it you know how much I like when people do that.
I’ve got regret right now
If Lilly were to use one word to describe herself it would be “fabulous”. If she were to use two they would be “fabulous bitch”. When Lilly wanted something Lilly got it and right now she wanted revenge on Logan. He was being way to possessive. He needed to know where she was every second of the day. So she skipped one of his parties; that was no reason to go and make out with one of her friends.
Air is so cold and numb
Logan hated his dad but Lilly couldn’t see why. Aaron always seemed so sweet when she was talking with him. He would give her a peck on the cheek before she left in a fatherly sort of way. Jake was never one for goodbye kisses and Lilly figured she should get affection from somewhere. She went over to Logan’s house and he wasn’t there. Aaron had given her the usual cheek peck but Lilly turned her head catching his lips and thrusting her tongue into his mouth. But it wasn’t for affection she did it; she felt nothing as his tongue battled with hers.
Let me go in her room
The first time she let him touch her, really touch her, was in his and Lynn’s room. She figured if Logan could go out with Dick and leave her all alone she could still have some fun. And he knew how to do things Logan didn’t. Things that left her breathless and made her feel wanted. “Lilly” he would sing making it sound like her name had a million i’s in it. Dragging it out and making it go on forever. Lilly Kane would go on forever.
I wanna take off her clothes
Aaron let her move at whatever pace she felt comfortable and let it never be said Lilly was slow. She could feel Aaron undress her with his eyes every time she perched on the edge of the bed and let him drink her in. And since he wasn’t doing it Lilly figured she should. And after the t-shirt came off so did everything else.
Show me the way to the bed
There was a bed out in the pool house but Lily never knew why. It had always been there and no one ever used it. So Lilly put it to some use. She took Aaron’s hand and dragged him out back to have her way with him. After the first time he told her to meet with him in the pool house every day after that. She never thought it was anything other then no one used it and they wouldn’t get caught.
Show me the way you move
There was a killer sound system in the pool house and Aaron loved to watch her dance. Watch her dance and pull off her clothes. And if she danced well enough for him she got to be on top, in control and in power. But if she didn’t he’d force her to be on the bottom and bend to his will.
Fuck it it’s such a blur
In the end she wondered if it meant anything to him. Then she wondered if it meant anything to her. Two weeks of fun, fun, fun blurred together. She couldn’t remember what day exactly she decided to first let him touch her or how she ended up on her back in his room. And she couldn’t remember if there was a time she didn’t want to do it.
I love all the things you do
And neither of them felt anything other then pleasure. That was how Lilly wanted it. Love and lies were only two letters off. With no feeling no one could get hurt and Lilly didn’t want hurt. She loved what Aaron did to her he made her feel like she wasn’t broken, wasn’t fragile, wasn’t love, wasn’t hated. He made her come no strings attached and that made her happy.
Where do we go from here?
Logan was her first and for a time that meant something to Lilly. He had a piece of her that she couldn’t get back. Believe it or not there was a time when Lilly was uncomfortable with Logan taking off her clothes. It took so long for her to finally let him get her all the way undressed. Then neither really knew what they were supposed to do. First time jitters; Lilly giggled too much and Logan’s hands shook.
Turn all the lights down now
They got more comfortable and both found out what they like and what they didn’t. After Logan would turn out the lights and hug Lilly till she fell asleep and then early the next morning he would drive her back to her house to sneak back in and change her clothes. They were in love and happy. Logan once told her he wanted to marry her. Some days Lilly thought he meant it others she didn’t.
Smiling from ear to ear
They were both happy though. It was all sunshine and laughter. They were part of the Fab Four. Lilly and Veronica were on pep-squad, Duncan was kicking serious ass at soccer and Logan was providing the booze. The limo party was as high as it got so it only makes sense it was all down hill from there.
Our breathing has got to loud
Lilly never thought she could get bored with Logan but slowly she did. Time with him was becoming more something she had to do then something that she wanted to do and she was sure he was watching other girls maybe even seeing them behind her back. So she pushed him a little harder.
Show me the bedroom floor
Logan could feel Lilly losing interest so he started trying to spice things up. Sex at school, in bathroom stalls at the mall, anywhere private and some places not. He loved her too much to let go and she was pulling away slowly. Some times he thought he wasn’t good enough for her but then again no one really was.
Show me the bathroom mirror
One day after taking a shower with her Logan looked in the mirror and realized Lilly had never once asked about the scars crossing his back. Had she ever even noticed? He was sure if she had scars like he did he would ask about them but Lilly ignored them. Maybe at one time she had bothered to look at him but that was long gone. So they broke up and got back together and broke up and got back together again. They were like a yo-yo up and down. There came a time where even though they were having sex it was a bad day.
We’re taking this way to slow
Logan gave her a ring in August as a way to keep them together. She never wore it but she didn’t toss it back in his face so he took it as a good sign. Lilly however felt trapped. She was young and wanted just to have a little fun. She loved Logan sure but she didn’t want to get married. She carried the ring in her purse and it made the bag feel like it was holding all her problems so she flushed it down the toilet and told Logan she lost it.
Take me away from here
She needed away to get away from Logan. So she started walking the streets late at night hoping to find someone to take her mind off her worries and when the day came she and Logan broke up three days after school started she told her self she was never going back.
This place was never the same again
Weevil found her on one of her many walks around town. She offered him her pink playboy bunny lighter when his cheep plastic one didn’t work. “I’m mad at my boyfriend you wanna give me a ride home?” So he did but just to the gate and she kissed him good-bye but he didn’t respond.
After you came and went
She feeling she gave Weevil was similar to a 2x4 being pounded in to his chest. Ever time he saw her he lost his breath. She gave him a secret message pen and they would send each other notes She was in his co-ed gym class and after class they would sneak under the bleachers and make out. Before he pulled off her shirt he made her promise that she would never go back to Logan. “Of course not silly!” she teased, “I’m with you remember.”
How could you say you meant anything different
He told her he loved her and that he was going to marry her one-day. After that she got distant. She stopped returning his calls and he started leaving notes in her locker because she never passed the pen back to him. One day he snuck into her room when her parents were away. “I love you!” he had screamed and she just yawned. He showed her the tattoo and she giggles and told him he was a retard to think she loved him back.
To anyone standing alone on the street with a cigarette on the first night we met
He reminded her of the promise she made him not to go back to Logan and she laughed in his face. “Didn’t I mean anything? Didn’t you feel anything?” She laughed and said she was too cold to feel ever again. She went back to Logan and he left her one final note promising to always watch her. She switched gym classes and he had to admit to himself it was a crazy thing to do. But her pink lighter was still in his coat pocket.
Look to the past and remember and smile
The last night she was at Logan’s house with Aaron she found the cameras. “You dirty dog!” she whispered under her breath and stole them as a joke. Never knowing what would happen because she felt a little too much in power.
And maybe tonight I can breath for a while
It was at after she took the tapes she found the note from Logan. Things could go back to how they were. Her and Aaron were over. She could be Lilly of Lilly and Logan instead of Logan’s former girlfriend. Veronica could get a paternity test and find out if she was Jake’s daughter. And when she wasn’t her and Duncan could get back together. Everything could go back to how it was before the crazy summer.
I’m not in this scene, I think I’m falling asleep
So when Aaron showed up and demanded the tapes back she told him where he could shove it. He didn’t take it well and when she felt for the first time in a long time pain as the ashtray connected with her head she was almost happy. Lilly Kane could feel again. And as she lay barely conscious she felt sad that she couldn’t say sorry to everyone she hurt. The blood pooling around her body left her cold and slowly she slipped into that place where she couldn’t feel again.
But then all that it means is I’ll always be dreaming of you
Lilly watched her friends sitting on the couch. Duncan and Veronica were dating again but Duncan was going to mess it up she just knew it. Logan was fucking everything he could get his hands on including the Casablanca’s new step mom. Him and Veronica had dated for a while Lilly had never seen that coming. Then he was accused of killing one of Weevil’s buddies. Everything was so different from what Lilly remembered, it would never be that same. And Lilly let a silent tear slid down her cheek because she knew that she couldn’t help them even if she watched over them forever.
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
If Lilly was given the choice to live forever she would chose to die all over again. Even though she messed things up she realized that things could never have gone back to the way they were. Veronica was doing a pretty good job of keeping herself together. She still jumped to conclusions but she meant well. Duncan was messing up all over again but he too meant well. Logan was slowly coming to his senses about the Laker slut. And Weevil was all but over her death and betrayal.
Place your hand in mine
I’ll leave when I wanna
The night of her second anniversary she visited each of them as they slept. She offered each of them a hand in the dream. “You can't stop me from loving you. For the rest of your life, wherever you go, I'll always be there, just out of sight, in the shadows.” She whispered to each of them before slipping her fingers out from between theirs. Then she kissed each on the forehead and disappeared to the place where angels watch over us.
A/N: I also posted this on www.fanfiction.net but there wasn't alot of feedback so I thought I'd try my luck here. If I've done anything seriously wrong then please tell me because I've seen through reviews how picky you guys can be. If something is wrong be nice about it! I'm ignorant and blonde so deal with it plus I'm used to getting my own way.
Author:xxxlolaxxx_star
Pairing/Character:Lilly(D/V, L/L, Lilly/Aaron, Lilly/Weevil
Word Count:2,183
Rating:R
Summary:Song Fic for Feeling This by Blink-182, Basicly goes into Lilly and why she was with Aaron and her reaction to everything.
Spoilers/Warnings:everythings game with me
A/N: This song has been driving me nuts for a while every time I hear it I think about Lilly so here I am doing something about it. Hope you like it. I think I did a pretty good job of it. Read and Review it you know how much I like when people do that.
I’ve got regret right now
If Lilly were to use one word to describe herself it would be “fabulous”. If she were to use two they would be “fabulous bitch”. When Lilly wanted something Lilly got it and right now she wanted revenge on Logan. He was being way to possessive. He needed to know where she was every second of the day. So she skipped one of his parties; that was no reason to go and make out with one of her friends.
Air is so cold and numb
Logan hated his dad but Lilly couldn’t see why. Aaron always seemed so sweet when she was talking with him. He would give her a peck on the cheek before she left in a fatherly sort of way. Jake was never one for goodbye kisses and Lilly figured she should get affection from somewhere. She went over to Logan’s house and he wasn’t there. Aaron had given her the usual cheek peck but Lilly turned her head catching his lips and thrusting her tongue into his mouth. But it wasn’t for affection she did it; she felt nothing as his tongue battled with hers.
Let me go in her room
The first time she let him touch her, really touch her, was in his and Lynn’s room. She figured if Logan could go out with Dick and leave her all alone she could still have some fun. And he knew how to do things Logan didn’t. Things that left her breathless and made her feel wanted. “Lilly” he would sing making it sound like her name had a million i’s in it. Dragging it out and making it go on forever. Lilly Kane would go on forever.
I wanna take off her clothes
Aaron let her move at whatever pace she felt comfortable and let it never be said Lilly was slow. She could feel Aaron undress her with his eyes every time she perched on the edge of the bed and let him drink her in. And since he wasn’t doing it Lilly figured she should. And after the t-shirt came off so did everything else.
Show me the way to the bed
There was a bed out in the pool house but Lily never knew why. It had always been there and no one ever used it. So Lilly put it to some use. She took Aaron’s hand and dragged him out back to have her way with him. After the first time he told her to meet with him in the pool house every day after that. She never thought it was anything other then no one used it and they wouldn’t get caught.
Show me the way you move
There was a killer sound system in the pool house and Aaron loved to watch her dance. Watch her dance and pull off her clothes. And if she danced well enough for him she got to be on top, in control and in power. But if she didn’t he’d force her to be on the bottom and bend to his will.
Fuck it it’s such a blur
In the end she wondered if it meant anything to him. Then she wondered if it meant anything to her. Two weeks of fun, fun, fun blurred together. She couldn’t remember what day exactly she decided to first let him touch her or how she ended up on her back in his room. And she couldn’t remember if there was a time she didn’t want to do it.
I love all the things you do
And neither of them felt anything other then pleasure. That was how Lilly wanted it. Love and lies were only two letters off. With no feeling no one could get hurt and Lilly didn’t want hurt. She loved what Aaron did to her he made her feel like she wasn’t broken, wasn’t fragile, wasn’t love, wasn’t hated. He made her come no strings attached and that made her happy.
Where do we go from here?
Logan was her first and for a time that meant something to Lilly. He had a piece of her that she couldn’t get back. Believe it or not there was a time when Lilly was uncomfortable with Logan taking off her clothes. It took so long for her to finally let him get her all the way undressed. Then neither really knew what they were supposed to do. First time jitters; Lilly giggled too much and Logan’s hands shook.
Turn all the lights down now
They got more comfortable and both found out what they like and what they didn’t. After Logan would turn out the lights and hug Lilly till she fell asleep and then early the next morning he would drive her back to her house to sneak back in and change her clothes. They were in love and happy. Logan once told her he wanted to marry her. Some days Lilly thought he meant it others she didn’t.
Smiling from ear to ear
They were both happy though. It was all sunshine and laughter. They were part of the Fab Four. Lilly and Veronica were on pep-squad, Duncan was kicking serious ass at soccer and Logan was providing the booze. The limo party was as high as it got so it only makes sense it was all down hill from there.
Our breathing has got to loud
Lilly never thought she could get bored with Logan but slowly she did. Time with him was becoming more something she had to do then something that she wanted to do and she was sure he was watching other girls maybe even seeing them behind her back. So she pushed him a little harder.
Show me the bedroom floor
Logan could feel Lilly losing interest so he started trying to spice things up. Sex at school, in bathroom stalls at the mall, anywhere private and some places not. He loved her too much to let go and she was pulling away slowly. Some times he thought he wasn’t good enough for her but then again no one really was.
Show me the bathroom mirror
One day after taking a shower with her Logan looked in the mirror and realized Lilly had never once asked about the scars crossing his back. Had she ever even noticed? He was sure if she had scars like he did he would ask about them but Lilly ignored them. Maybe at one time she had bothered to look at him but that was long gone. So they broke up and got back together and broke up and got back together again. They were like a yo-yo up and down. There came a time where even though they were having sex it was a bad day.
We’re taking this way to slow
Logan gave her a ring in August as a way to keep them together. She never wore it but she didn’t toss it back in his face so he took it as a good sign. Lilly however felt trapped. She was young and wanted just to have a little fun. She loved Logan sure but she didn’t want to get married. She carried the ring in her purse and it made the bag feel like it was holding all her problems so she flushed it down the toilet and told Logan she lost it.
Take me away from here
She needed away to get away from Logan. So she started walking the streets late at night hoping to find someone to take her mind off her worries and when the day came she and Logan broke up three days after school started she told her self she was never going back.
This place was never the same again
Weevil found her on one of her many walks around town. She offered him her pink playboy bunny lighter when his cheep plastic one didn’t work. “I’m mad at my boyfriend you wanna give me a ride home?” So he did but just to the gate and she kissed him good-bye but he didn’t respond.
After you came and went
She feeling she gave Weevil was similar to a 2x4 being pounded in to his chest. Ever time he saw her he lost his breath. She gave him a secret message pen and they would send each other notes She was in his co-ed gym class and after class they would sneak under the bleachers and make out. Before he pulled off her shirt he made her promise that she would never go back to Logan. “Of course not silly!” she teased, “I’m with you remember.”
How could you say you meant anything different
He told her he loved her and that he was going to marry her one-day. After that she got distant. She stopped returning his calls and he started leaving notes in her locker because she never passed the pen back to him. One day he snuck into her room when her parents were away. “I love you!” he had screamed and she just yawned. He showed her the tattoo and she giggles and told him he was a retard to think she loved him back.
To anyone standing alone on the street with a cigarette on the first night we met
He reminded her of the promise she made him not to go back to Logan and she laughed in his face. “Didn’t I mean anything? Didn’t you feel anything?” She laughed and said she was too cold to feel ever again. She went back to Logan and he left her one final note promising to always watch her. She switched gym classes and he had to admit to himself it was a crazy thing to do. But her pink lighter was still in his coat pocket.
Look to the past and remember and smile
The last night she was at Logan’s house with Aaron she found the cameras. “You dirty dog!” she whispered under her breath and stole them as a joke. Never knowing what would happen because she felt a little too much in power.
And maybe tonight I can breath for a while
It was at after she took the tapes she found the note from Logan. Things could go back to how they were. Her and Aaron were over. She could be Lilly of Lilly and Logan instead of Logan’s former girlfriend. Veronica could get a paternity test and find out if she was Jake’s daughter. And when she wasn’t her and Duncan could get back together. Everything could go back to how it was before the crazy summer.
I’m not in this scene, I think I’m falling asleep
So when Aaron showed up and demanded the tapes back she told him where he could shove it. He didn’t take it well and when she felt for the first time in a long time pain as the ashtray connected with her head she was almost happy. Lilly Kane could feel again. And as she lay barely conscious she felt sad that she couldn’t say sorry to everyone she hurt. The blood pooling around her body left her cold and slowly she slipped into that place where she couldn’t feel again.
But then all that it means is I’ll always be dreaming of you
Lilly watched her friends sitting on the couch. Duncan and Veronica were dating again but Duncan was going to mess it up she just knew it. Logan was fucking everything he could get his hands on including the Casablanca’s new step mom. Him and Veronica had dated for a while Lilly had never seen that coming. Then he was accused of killing one of Weevil’s buddies. Everything was so different from what Lilly remembered, it would never be that same. And Lilly let a silent tear slid down her cheek because she knew that she couldn’t help them even if she watched over them forever.
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
If Lilly was given the choice to live forever she would chose to die all over again. Even though she messed things up she realized that things could never have gone back to the way they were. Veronica was doing a pretty good job of keeping herself together. She still jumped to conclusions but she meant well. Duncan was messing up all over again but he too meant well. Logan was slowly coming to his senses about the Laker slut. And Weevil was all but over her death and betrayal.
Place your hand in mine
I’ll leave when I wanna
The night of her second anniversary she visited each of them as they slept. She offered each of them a hand in the dream. “You can't stop me from loving you. For the rest of your life, wherever you go, I'll always be there, just out of sight, in the shadows.” She whispered to each of them before slipping her fingers out from between theirs. Then she kissed each on the forehead and disappeared to the place where angels watch over us.
A/N: I also posted this on www.fanfiction.net but there wasn't alot of feedback so I thought I'd try my luck here. If I've done anything seriously wrong then please tell me because I've seen through reviews how picky you guys can be. If something is wrong be nice about it! I'm ignorant and blonde so deal with it plus I'm used to getting my own way.