options
talked to my mom today for a long time. we usually wind up chatting forever, because she's the only person I ever really get particularly chatty with in general. we've really patched up our relationship since all the drama a couple of years ago, and I think now she knows me better than most people.
which really isn't what I had planned to say, it just still kind of surprises me how well we get along now. something about she finally recognized that I'm not a little girl anymore, and I finally quit acting like one.
but....today she just offered something that's making me think too much. the basic situation is this. by the time I'm done here, after paying for rent and food and gas and just all the other stuff, I'm going to have about a thousand dollars left in my bank account. in the grand scheme of things, that's really not a lot.
and to tell you the truth, it's probably not enough to get me moved from ohio back to minnesota and certainly not enough to get me another apartment. not with security deposits and pet deposits and all that. if I count on getting all of my security deposit from here back I'll be close to two thousand, but I dont' think that I should, considering the damage the dog has already done to the new door and to some of the carpet right in front of it.
so, today my mom idly suggested that maybe I should just stay at home for a while. she has a couple of clients who own restaurants, and she knows for a fact that at least one of them is hiring in the pastry department. her thinking seems to be that if I stay at home just for a year, I won't have to worry about rent, or the dog destorying things, or....really, money period. I'd be able to put probably 90% of every paycheck in the bank and not touch it for a year. even if I'm working a job that doesn't pay all that well, I'd still have a pretty good chunk saved up by the time I hit a year.
there were reasons I really wanted to get back to minneapolis. some of them were pretty good reasons. some of them are even bordering on being good enough that this is requiring a lot of thought, because I don't know what I want to do anymore. scrounging desperately for money my first few months in minneapolis would be manageable, but it would probably be unpleasant. if I stay at home for a year and just save like a crazy person, I could probably be in a good place for getting a new car some time next year. not new new....but new to me, in any event, and probably slightly less old. my car's not on it's last legs yet, but I know it's coming. probably sooner rather than later.
so, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. the smart thing to do would be to tell my mom to give my resume to her client who's hiring and tell her I'm coming home. I could still keep in touch with my friends in minnesota, and it's entirely possible that at the end of a year, when I'm in a better place financially, I could go back. anyone who's really my friend anyway should be willing to support a decision like that, right?
I don't know. I don't know what the right decision is. there are people who will be unhappy about the smart decision, but the decision I want to make would probably have me miserable for months. I'm past the point of saying I wish someone would just make it for me....but I wish it were easier.
the biggest thing in support of working at home, however, is that I would at least get to be there for holidays. if I had been working normally at the restaurant during christmas, I would have wound up working christmas eve and probably christmas morning. there would have been almost no way to be home for christmas.
I don't know. being an adult is scary sometimes.
which really isn't what I had planned to say, it just still kind of surprises me how well we get along now. something about she finally recognized that I'm not a little girl anymore, and I finally quit acting like one.
but....today she just offered something that's making me think too much. the basic situation is this. by the time I'm done here, after paying for rent and food and gas and just all the other stuff, I'm going to have about a thousand dollars left in my bank account. in the grand scheme of things, that's really not a lot.
and to tell you the truth, it's probably not enough to get me moved from ohio back to minnesota and certainly not enough to get me another apartment. not with security deposits and pet deposits and all that. if I count on getting all of my security deposit from here back I'll be close to two thousand, but I dont' think that I should, considering the damage the dog has already done to the new door and to some of the carpet right in front of it.
so, today my mom idly suggested that maybe I should just stay at home for a while. she has a couple of clients who own restaurants, and she knows for a fact that at least one of them is hiring in the pastry department. her thinking seems to be that if I stay at home just for a year, I won't have to worry about rent, or the dog destorying things, or....really, money period. I'd be able to put probably 90% of every paycheck in the bank and not touch it for a year. even if I'm working a job that doesn't pay all that well, I'd still have a pretty good chunk saved up by the time I hit a year.
there were reasons I really wanted to get back to minneapolis. some of them were pretty good reasons. some of them are even bordering on being good enough that this is requiring a lot of thought, because I don't know what I want to do anymore. scrounging desperately for money my first few months in minneapolis would be manageable, but it would probably be unpleasant. if I stay at home for a year and just save like a crazy person, I could probably be in a good place for getting a new car some time next year. not new new....but new to me, in any event, and probably slightly less old. my car's not on it's last legs yet, but I know it's coming. probably sooner rather than later.
so, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. the smart thing to do would be to tell my mom to give my resume to her client who's hiring and tell her I'm coming home. I could still keep in touch with my friends in minnesota, and it's entirely possible that at the end of a year, when I'm in a better place financially, I could go back. anyone who's really my friend anyway should be willing to support a decision like that, right?
I don't know. I don't know what the right decision is. there are people who will be unhappy about the smart decision, but the decision I want to make would probably have me miserable for months. I'm past the point of saying I wish someone would just make it for me....but I wish it were easier.
the biggest thing in support of working at home, however, is that I would at least get to be there for holidays. if I had been working normally at the restaurant during christmas, I would have wound up working christmas eve and probably christmas morning. there would have been almost no way to be home for christmas.
I don't know. being an adult is scary sometimes.