(no subject)
a quarter to three in the morning is a bad time to decide you're feeling lonely, as, at a quarter to three in the morning, there really isn't anyone you can call to talk to about these horrible feelings of loneliness you might be having. however, when one begins to engage in rambling, obtuse narratives whose only audience is a dog, one begins to feel that perhaps one needs some actual socialization that doesn't involve a computer screen or a phone. especially when the dog falls asleep.
so I went for a walk, assuming that it would somehow make me either less lonely or more tired, but all it did was make me nauseous and induce a headache. the headache keeps getting worse and worse, and at the moment is bording on migraine-ous (I'm wearing sunglasses, in the dark, because the computer screen is too bright for me right now), but if I take more vicodin now, I'll have to call off work today. maybe I should anyway. migraine-ous and nauseous is not such a great way to start the day. neither is lack of sleep-ous, probably.
also, I wound up carrying the dog for most of the walk. he's a big baby....when his feet get cold, he'll switch to only walking on three, or just stand there with two of them in the air as though he's hurt, and at that point it's easier to just pick him up. I love that little guy dearly....but he puts a cramp on my walking style.
the walk also served to make me feel more lonely, because there's something terribly depressing about walking around a large apartment complex and realizing that no one's lights are one, thus, logically, no one else is awake. I mean, that makes sense. it is a quarter to three in the morning. people should be sleeping.
but it just doesn't help.
I think the dog has an ear infection and my wrists hurt from all the cape-knitting. the boy is being a ridiculously sweet individual, and it's moments like this, at a quarter to three in the morning, that I make cloying, desperate phone calls to ridiculously sweet boys saying utterly stupid things. a quarter to three in the morning is usually when I start saying utterly stupid things in general, really.
in an awkward aside, I've been worried lately that my utter lack of academic perusal is going to make me stupid. it feels like forever since I read an actual book. like, a grown-up people book. I don't know why I stake my level of intelligence on that, but there you go.
oh god, my migraine is in my neck now. is that even possible?
I'm completely and utterly not tired, and the concept of just laying quietly in the dark for the next three hours is kindofterrifying. my legs are still cold from the walk, and I have a weird rough patch of skin on one of the knuckles of my left hand.
okay, I admit it. coming to new york for my externship was a stupid idea. are you happy, world?
later, edit: it is now a quarter to seven in the morning, and I still haven't slept because my headache kept getting worse and worse and worse. so I took more vicodin, because....this is nigh unbearable (I think when things are painful to the point of preventing sleep is when they tell you to take stuff for it, right?) and I guess I'll call in sick to work. or something.
like they can do anything. I can't drive now anyway, at least not until noon or thereabouts. probably noon thirty or so. I don't feel particularly bad about them missing out on my unpaid labor though. I wonder why.
mystery for the ages. one of the mexicans will just have to mix the scones.
yeah. boo fucking hoo.
(okay, so I'm bitter. sue me.)
longest, most pointless entry ever. I'm going to go curl up in a vicodin haze for a while.
so I went for a walk, assuming that it would somehow make me either less lonely or more tired, but all it did was make me nauseous and induce a headache. the headache keeps getting worse and worse, and at the moment is bording on migraine-ous (I'm wearing sunglasses, in the dark, because the computer screen is too bright for me right now), but if I take more vicodin now, I'll have to call off work today. maybe I should anyway. migraine-ous and nauseous is not such a great way to start the day. neither is lack of sleep-ous, probably.
also, I wound up carrying the dog for most of the walk. he's a big baby....when his feet get cold, he'll switch to only walking on three, or just stand there with two of them in the air as though he's hurt, and at that point it's easier to just pick him up. I love that little guy dearly....but he puts a cramp on my walking style.
the walk also served to make me feel more lonely, because there's something terribly depressing about walking around a large apartment complex and realizing that no one's lights are one, thus, logically, no one else is awake. I mean, that makes sense. it is a quarter to three in the morning. people should be sleeping.
but it just doesn't help.
I think the dog has an ear infection and my wrists hurt from all the cape-knitting. the boy is being a ridiculously sweet individual, and it's moments like this, at a quarter to three in the morning, that I make cloying, desperate phone calls to ridiculously sweet boys saying utterly stupid things. a quarter to three in the morning is usually when I start saying utterly stupid things in general, really.
in an awkward aside, I've been worried lately that my utter lack of academic perusal is going to make me stupid. it feels like forever since I read an actual book. like, a grown-up people book. I don't know why I stake my level of intelligence on that, but there you go.
oh god, my migraine is in my neck now. is that even possible?
I'm completely and utterly not tired, and the concept of just laying quietly in the dark for the next three hours is kindofterrifying. my legs are still cold from the walk, and I have a weird rough patch of skin on one of the knuckles of my left hand.
okay, I admit it. coming to new york for my externship was a stupid idea. are you happy, world?
later, edit: it is now a quarter to seven in the morning, and I still haven't slept because my headache kept getting worse and worse and worse. so I took more vicodin, because....this is nigh unbearable (I think when things are painful to the point of preventing sleep is when they tell you to take stuff for it, right?) and I guess I'll call in sick to work. or something.
like they can do anything. I can't drive now anyway, at least not until noon or thereabouts. probably noon thirty or so. I don't feel particularly bad about them missing out on my unpaid labor though. I wonder why.
mystery for the ages. one of the mexicans will just have to mix the scones.
yeah. boo fucking hoo.
(okay, so I'm bitter. sue me.)
longest, most pointless entry ever. I'm going to go curl up in a vicodin haze for a while.