EAD 2017- Being There [Where You Are] 1/3
EAD 2017 Masterpost
Title: Being There [Where You Are]
Author: Elspeth
Fandom/Genre: The Closer/Major Crimes
Relationship(s): Sharon Raydor/Andy Flynn, Brenda Leigh Johnson/Fritz Howard
Content Rating: R
Warnings: Discussion of Crimes, Violence, Abusive Partners, Stubbornness, Injury in the Line of Duty
Summary: Sharon Raydor came online as a guide in a time in her life that was very precarious. Her husband was not accepting, putting it mildly but they made a deal in the end. Her sentinel tailspin'ed for awhile and then did whatever he could to help her. Her side of the deal is coming to an end. Finally.
A/N: Greek Mythology, Unbeta'd, Little Black Dress Challenge RT July 2016
Events in certain parts based on The Closer episodes, "Time Bomb" and "Old Money."
Word Count: 10299/10,000
Part One
15 years ago.
Sharon was still on the couch when Jack came home. She could still see her hands shaking. Nothing was making sense. Blood, Ricky's blood, was under her nails, though she had washed her hands a dozen times. Every rustle of movement her kids made in their rooms, lessened the panic and the sick dread of disaster and pain that her kids, her babies, were hurt- dying even.
A loud thump in the kitchen after dinner had had her moving. Emily's cries for help had only made her move faster. And then there was Ricky, her son, lying on the floor, not moving and blood- so much blood coming from a head wound. The cereal box and opened cupboards explained what happened. Emily cries got her moving again, trying to stuff down shock that was chocking up throat. She reached towards Ricky, her 8 year old son lying so still, not moving -why wasn't his chest moving? his neck so awkward- why did it look like that?
Sharon, desperate to help her son, got down on the ground and touched her son's hand when the most miraculous thing happened. Ricky's head wound started to close and his neck-
-
-
-
"Mommy!" Emily was yelling. "Mommy! Just open your eyes! Ricky is okay! I promise Mommy! Just please open your eyes and be okay like Ricky! Mommy! Please!"
Sharon opened her eyes. She seemed to be lying on the kitchen with her head near Emily's lap with Ricky draped over her sobbing into her shirt. Ricky! Sharon brought her arms which had been lying limp, around Ricky and brought him closer to her, not quite understanding what had happened.
Emily stopped begging and started crying. Sitting up, Sharon soon had two crying children in her arms, on the kitchen floor, cereal everywhere and blood, now drying. Thankfully drying.
Once her kids seemed to calm down, she could feel their emoti-not right now, Sharon got them into the shower, inspecting Ricky's head and neck which was fine, and in bed, both (and her) so exhausted. Ricky, dear Ricky putting up a fight to wear his dinosaur pajamas even though he had worn them yesterday and had been in the laundry basket. Letting him win, she waited till both of them were soon sleeping. She stood there, in their doorways, for what seemed like hours, watching them both breathe in and out.
Coming back to her kitchen was not unlike visiting a crime scene. It was enough to make her face what had happened. She was now an active guide. And she seemed to have inherited the O'Dwyer healing gifts, the gifts her family had been hunted and used for centuries. She was an Asclepius, a modern day Miranda. This wasn't...something she hadn't wanted. If she was to be online at all, but right now her baby was sleeping in his dinosaur pajamas and that made the difference. She was so exhausted right now.
Jack.
Her hands still wet after quickly washing them, dialed Jack's office. Jack wasn't coming home.
Sharon set the phone down gently. The phone didn't deserve her anger. After convincing Jack's secretary it was an emergency and she needed to get ahold of Jack, immediately, Jack blew her off. "Honey, I will be home in a couple hours by 9...Sharon, I can't speak right now. I'll be home when I'm home." And then he hung up. Ricky was hurt and Jack hung up. Sharon could already imagine him dismissing her to whoever he was with.
All she could do was breathe. Breathing in and out, in and out, her grandmother's words can to her. "When you feel so angry, so upset you could be help Aegaeon pull the tides, and loosen hurricanes, build your shields Sharona! Build your shields for battle is near!"
Sharon had excelled at building shields. It's what allowed her transfer into Forced Investigations to happen so easily when she became pregnant with Emily. It's what lead her to become a Lieutenant in the LAPD within 10 years. Falling back on everything she had learned about building shields for guides specifically from her family, from school, from the LAPD, she built new shields while she cleaned.
Sitting on the couch, in full view of her kids' beds, she practiced. Shield up. Shield down. Layers up and layers down. Feeling her kids dreams was a little crazy but shields for them went up and that eased.
7 o'clock came and went.
8 o'clock past.
9 o'clock gone.
10 o'clock. Emily briefly stirred but turned over, and held her teddy bear close to her.
11 o'clock.
12 o'clock.
12:34 AM. The keys opened the door and there her husband of 14 years was.
Drunk.
Of course.
Sharon watched him close the door and stumble towards their bedroom. One bedroom she was not going to on this night. Bringing her hands to her mouth she look around. Getting up, she went to the front door and locked it. Jack would be in position to talk in the morning and her kids were soundly asleep. She would give a call to her commander and let her know she would need the next day off, possibly more. In the morning Ricky and Emily would be off to school and then she would wait for Jack to sober up and have a talk about his drinking and most of what had happened that day. Most, but not all. Getting a blanket and a pillow, she set herself up on the couch. "Build your shields Sharona!"
Last week.
"Dad!"
Andy Flynn a Lieutenant in the Priority Homicide Division of the LAPD, turned to greet his kids. "Chase! Nicole!" Andy replied with the same enthusiasm as his daughter. He didn't get to see his kids enough now they were grown up and Chase was down in San Diego. Unexpectedly they had called saying that Chase had come up to Los Angeles and they wanted to take him out for dinner, just them three. Andy hadn't let anything, let alone a case barge in the way.
"Dad, you knew we were coming. You could hear us park even a block away. Don't act surprised." His son sighed, exaggeratedly. Well yes, but still isn't wasn't like when they were younger and he saw them nearly every day, even after divorced. Thank god it was an amicable one.
Catching Nicole's eyes as she rolled them at Chase, Andy smiled in good humor and hug his kids. He didn't need to scent them to settle down and get relief from his senses, not any more but didn't mind the extra time to hold them. Happiness in the steadiness of their heartbeats and a tinged of anxiety and worry in their scent. When you have a sentinel father it wasn't an invasion of privacy, it came with the territory.
Sitting down, they ordered their meals, chitchatting till their food arrived. A silence, a telling silence though soon lapsed. Andy, not wanting to waste time with his kids, prompted them, "Well, what is it?" Catching the look on their faces, Andy waited, starting to get a little worried.
"Dad," Chase begun but stopped short.
Nicole helpfully interjected. "This is an intervention!"
Andy couldn't help but touch his AA ring. "No Dad, not about that." Chase was quick to assure. "But it kind of leads to what this is about...You not having a Guide."
Oh. Looking at his kids, both looking unhappy and sad for him, Andy held up his hands to ward them off. "Hey kids, come on. Haven't we discussed this already?" They had. They had when Chase and Nicole were younger several times, when each was curious to know why their father didn't have a guide. This wasn't something he wanted to talk about. At all. Ever. Andy thought about his guide every day of his life. Thinking about her though, that was all it'd ever be.
Nicole spoke, "Yeah, we discussed it when we were kids, when you came online and when you started and stopped drinking. But that was years ago. Why don't you have a guide? Come Dad, this isn't healthy. When I came online as a guide, all I could think about was my sentinel, which luckily happened to be my girlfriend. It's been years and years. Mom has moved on. Why don't you have a guide? You don't even go to meet and greets-"
"Nicole, please, I'm begging you. Drop it." Andy shifted uncomfortably around in his seat. He did not want to talk about it. About her.
Chase continued, "Dad. No. This is what an intervention is about. Could you just tell us why you don't want to talk about this?"
Looking down at his hands now in his lap. Andy looked up, Nicole definitely feeling what was getting past his shields, reached out to lay one of her hands onto his. Chase joined in. "She doesn't want me." Andy finally said.
"What? She doesn't want you? Wait you know for certain- Dad! Hold on, you have a perfect match like me? Wait, why doesn't she want you? How do you know?" Nicole's questions kept coming with Chase nodding along, both stunned by this revelation. A perfect match was not at all common. Most guides and sentinels never had their own sentinel or guide that perfectly matched with them- they never had to search and look for that specific person that called to their souls. Yes, it was a blessing to have a perfect match, but it was also a curse in a way. These guides and sentinels very rarely found the urge to bond with anyone else, not if they had met their perfect match.
Getting it off his chest, Andy answered their questions. "Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. I smelled her scent in the elevator." Smiling sadly at their still stunned faces, Andy went on. "Well, I had always enjoyed her scent, even though it was always a hassle to deal with her and her division." Andy couldn't help but grown internally at the thought of Internal Affairs. So many complaints, but always exonerated. "Anyhow, one day, I smelled her scent in the elevator and knew. She was my guide. I went to visit her in her office. She just looked at me, Nicole...Chase, she just looked at me, knowing I knew she knew, and she apologized but said no."
Feeling his kids' arms around him helped with the painful memories of being rejected but still. She had said no.
"Remember how I wanted to make sure you and Meghan both agreed to bond, Nicole? No means no. No matter the reason. And yes, I did really started drinking heavily. Till about the time your mother informed me if I didn't quit, I'd never be let around you kids anymore. The wakeup call I needed. My guide said no. There never will be anyone else. Now could we please drop it?"
"How long ago was this?" Chase asked softly.
"Long enough to realize I'll miss her every day of my life, though we only work 4 floors away from one another. But Provenza helps. He drives me nuts but he helps."
Today.
Eyes still watering, and nose and mouth plugged up from the pine scent bottles thrown on the ground before being slashed at, Andy searched for his phone. The gunshots he fired into the asshole dirt bag who attacked him would attract 911 calls immediately, but there was one person he absolutely had to call before the shock and blood loss of the knife wounds overcame him. Pain was always a quick way to disable sentinels, if briefly. You just had to watch out for a pissed off sentinel before, during and after.
"Sharon- sorry, Captain Raydor, I've just been attacked in a church parking lot off of Crenshaw and Manchester...."
Notes:
Andy's son is not named in canon. Hence "Chase Edward" Flynn. Thank you Random Name Generator. : )
Gods:
Aegaeon- God of violent storm waters. Has a hundred arms.
Asclepius- God of healing and medicine. Has the healing touch.
Part Two
When Sharon arrived on scene with her boss, Deputy Chief Debra Kosta of the PSB, Sharon's second-in-command, Lt. Oscar Hyun, and her squadron ready to get to work, she could feel the sharp-hurt of her sentinel's pain. Her sentinel. Two words she had been setting aside for quite some time. Andy. Nodding to Oscar to take over as they had discussed, she headed to the ambulance hands stuffed in her overcoat, feeling Debra's steady presence at her back. Sharon truly loved working for her boss, mostly because Debra trusted her to head FID, enforcing the laws of the land and regulations of the LAPD. It was work Sharon believed in, always would.
Starting to hear Andy's voice as the closer Sharon got to the ambulance, the more she and Debra could hear Andy refusing treatment, even while being treated by EMTs specialized in Sentinel and Guide trauma. Andy's back was to her as he came into sight but he turned immediately at her call.
"Sharon."
There were slashes on his face and arms and torso, dirt and glass on his clothes. Still, the sight of her sentinel took her breath away. The soft look in his eyes that he always had when he glanced at her, calmed her soul. Here I am, right here that look always seemed to say. Her presence seemed to end his resistance towards the EMTs, thankfully till her boss nudged her elbow, which snapped him out of complacency. Wounded sentinel with his guide being touched by another. Right. Andy, shaking his head a bit, "I need to give my statement."
Seeing his determination, Sharon encouraged him to go on. "All right Andy, Chief Kosta is here, she'll take your statement."
Frowning in confusion, Andy gave Debra his gun and described the guy who had attacked him. White. 6 ft. Asshole. Two shots from Andy's gun. Drenched in the scent of pine. A scent she could smell all over Andy himself. As he talked, Andy seemed to lose the energy keeping him standing. Seeing him wobble, diminished all resolve Sharon had and she quickly took her hands out of her coat to steady him. Letting the EMTs in, while keeping her hold she turned back to Debra, who gave her an encouraging nod and turned around to discuss Andy's statement with Oscar. They would talk care of everything else while she took care of her sentinel.
Careful to not touch skin, not in front of so many people, she turned back to her sentinel who was looking straight at her, though starting to lose consciousness. Looking right back at Andy, Sharon tried to communicate I am right here Andy. I won't go anywhere. Conversation would wait till Andy recovered. Something she could help along the way even without bonding. Bonding. Another topic Sharon had been setting aside.
Helping the EMTs get Andy into the ambulance, they started as she settled by Andy's side. "I'm his guide," Sharon offered quietly. Clearing up that confusion she asked where they were going and nodded at the Sentinel Ward of Kindred Medical. Good. They had other highly skilled at Sentinel and Guide treatment.
Keeping track of everything Andy, she threw an empathic net around Andy and slowly seeped her gifts into him for the first time ever. It would be much better to have skin to skin contact but that might trigger pre-bonding and they really needed a long conversation before that happened.
Symptoms of sensory overload, slight damage to eyes, nose and ears, knife wounds on hip, stomach- the largest, right arm and various slashes all over, bruised ribs, high blood pressure and cholesterol, clogging arteries, bruised knees and hands... Sharon's attention was slightly drawn from her gifts to Andy when he sighed and seemed to finally relax on the gurney and succumb to being treated. She leaned closer to him, making sure to stay out of the EMT's way and let her own worries ease as Andy closed his eyes and shifted closer to her.
Going back to her gifts Sharon slowly working on easing and repairing the damage her sentinel had endured this evening. Later, she'd tackle the chronic health issues. Andy would be one of the healthiest sentinels on the planet when Sharon was through with him. She was finished with not being with her sentinel. Finished. Well...if Andy agreed.
Setting those thoughts aside, she kept a vigil by Andy's side all the way through transport to Kindred Medical, to the point just outside the operating room and in Andy's hospital room, adapted to comfort healing Sentinels, waiting for him to wake up. Thankfully, the healing Sharon had done in the ambulance allowed the medical staff to use a slightly weaker anesthesia and Andy would wake up soon.
Sooner would be better as she could feel Deputy Chief Johnson's and Lt. Provenza's presence and knew they would arrive shortly. Deciding whether to move her chair away from Andy's hospital bed, Sharon stayed put. No. No more hiding.
Sharon kept her gaze on her sentinel's face when Andy's boss and partner came in the room. Letting them adjust to her presence, Sharon only looked at them when Chief Johnson exclaimed, "Captain Raydor! Are you seriously waiting in my lieutenant's hospital room for him to wake up to take his statement? Don't you think he should have time to recover before having to talk to you?"
Sharon's gaze focused on Lt. Provenza's briefly, his face strangely void of emotion, though his clenching fists said more than enough.
Sharon turned to Chief Johnson. "Chief Johnson. I'm not here as head of FIB, investigating the attack on your lieutenant. I'm here as Andy's guide." Letting that sink in, and ignoring Chief Johnson's bewilderment, she refocused on Lt Provenza staring him straight on. Her sentinel's partner stared back considering, glared slightly and then looked at Andy, ignoring her existence. Right.
Sharon turned back to Andy as he started to wake up. He opened his eyes to Lt. Provenza's face. "So there is a hell." Unable to contain her small laugh, Andy's attention quickly turned to her. "Sharon." He said softly, that look, her look, on his face.
"Andy." Chief Johnson jumped in. "How are you feeling?"
Sharon stepped back mental, letting Chief Johnson talk to Andy. She felt Lt. Provenza look at her a few times but didn't engage. She had said her piece.
Her empathic net was still in place, Sharon used her gifts to start categorizing every inch of her sentinel. Debra's and Oscar's appearance was a welcome reprieve.
Taking into account the information Debra and Oscar brought tangentially, Sharon deliberately did not include herself in the conversation. She waited while an action plan was put together. Chief Johnson and Lt. Provenza would take over the investigation while Andy was encouraged to not to identify the body of the man who had attacked him. Debra and Oscar would continue on processing all of what they had collected, while waiting for DNA results to come back to confirm what any LAPD trained sentinel could identify.
Sharon acknowledged Debra's and Oscar's affirmation as they left to work into the early morning. Then it was the four of them.
Chief Johnson and Lt. Provenza stayed on. But now Sharon was getting frustrated. Yes, Chief Johnson was married, but yet an unbonded guide. If Chief Johnson kept touching Sharon's sentinel though... Luckily, Lt. Provenza started herding Chief Johnson away, reminding her of the work they now needed to do.
"You get better, you hear Andy? You just focus on getting better," to Andy. "Captain Raydor." towards Sharon. And with that Chief Johnson was out of the room.
Lt. Provenza closing the door behind them, already wishing Andy full recovery, stopped and looked at Sharon. "Take care of my partner Captain.”...which only half sounded like a threat. Right.
Getting up, she walked to the door to lock it and engage the white noise and empathic generators. No more interruptions. Door locked and shielding turned on, Sharon turned back to Andy.
"Hey," Andy offered up.
"Hello," Sharon responded. This was happening and it was close to being the worse sorts of circumstances. But Andy was alive and she could see if he was still interested in maybe starting over. "We have a lot to discuss Andy."
"Could we have this discussion closer to one another?" Andy asked.
Sharon came to stand by him. Giving Andy a look of her own, she smiled in the wonder of Andy'. Taking a deep breath, she breathed out slowly and reached for Andy's hand, the one without the IV. He met her half way and it was all Sharon could do to not cry. He was here. Already she could feel them bond. It was if she was pulling that empathic net towards her, reeling everything Andy in. It was a very heady sensation. One not appropriate for a hospital room, but she wasn't going to delay this any further.
"I owe you an apology and an explanation Andy." Sharon started.
"No, Sharon you don't." Andy quickly rebutted.
"Andy. I really do. I didn't even tell you why I said no." Sharon insisted.
"And you don't need to if you don't want to." Again Andy rebutted. Squeezing her hand carefully, Sharon took another deep breath. This was not how she planned this conversation to go. Andy went on, "I'm serious Sharon. I mean, I want to know but you don't have to tell me. You're here with me now. That all that matters."
Her sentinel. What did she do to deserve this forgiveness and understanding? Sharon asked, knowing they were already bonding and Andy could surely feel it too, "What do you want to do now, Andy?"
Her sentinel looked down at their hands. He pulled her a little closer. "Sharon. I just want to be in your life. Period."
Letting him pull her close to sit on his bed, Sharon replied. "Andy, I want to be in your life too. As your guide. As yours. Forever. How does that sound?"
"Sound like a reverse marriage proposal. Was that a marriage proposal Sharon?" Andy asked laughing quietly.
Sharon reflected, being proposed to twice before and only accepting once, it did sound like a marriage proposal. Well. That had been potentially part of stage three of her now disregarded plans but, okay. She wanted all of Andy Flynn. Every aspect especially the legal ones. "Do you accept?"
"Really? But we haven't even." Andy stopped but let a grin grow on his face. "I accept."
Returning the grin with a smile, Sharon felt the tug of their bond growing even more.
Her sentinel looked around them before asking, "So, I'm feeling a bit woozy. Could we at least kiss before I pass out?" Smooth and subtle her sentinel was not. But she gave in and met his lips in one of the sweetest kisses she ever had. Later would be another story. Pulling back, Andy said, "You know, I don't feel so bad. That was some kiss. Want to try again?" Shaking her head ruefully, Sharon kissed him again so softly before shifting to lay down next to Andy as Andy wordlessly scooted over.
Laying her head carefully on his shoulder, Sharon snuggled up to Andy, mindful of his wounds but letting her gifts chase his pain away. When they were fully bonded, Sharon wouldn't need to hide her gifts at all.
"We could get your lawyer friend, Gavin, to help us out." Andy spoke quietly, most likely knowing how tired she felt.
Sharon hummed agreement, sleep pulling at her. A knock on the door pushed sleep away.
"Dad?" A voice called, making Andy startle.
"Mom?" Emily's voice called out as well, making it Sharon's turn to startle.
Sharon sat up and looked at Andy. Their kids.
Notes:
PSB- Professional Standards Bureau (Internal Affairs)
FID- Forced Investigations Division