back from outta space. where I found another race
Hey, thought I'd forgotten about you didnt you?
No?
You've forgotten about me.. ah gee.
Well I havnt forgotten about you, in fact if it wasnt for my loyal livejournal fans (that are too shy or intimadated to comment) I dont think I would've had the strenght to make it here alive.
I type to you, un-washed, un-shaven, nails so long its impossible to type, just click, clickedy click, and the horrors that ly beneth them, oh! My teeth are so gritty, cheesy and furry and taste so bad I am afraid to open my mouth. Not that that matters, where I am. I am in the scariest internet cafe in the city loop. I fit right in with the mattered hair flithy fingered Lan monsters, I even have several pepsi cans surrounding me like they do. Still, opening this mouth mite get invitations to Lan partys and I just dont have the energy.
Let me start at the begining.
It was a beatiful saturday evening, before daylight savings came and made 5pm all dark and scary. I was sitting in my lounge room trying to peice together what had happend yesterday, I haddnt gone to work im sure, because there was angry messages on my phone from da boss.
As memories flashed in my brain like a really bad movie, I realised this has got to stop. No-one is going to respect a drunken stoner even if she is super hot.
so I scrapped together all my last fucking dreggs for one last final joint. These are the last few leaves, stalks ANYTHING that was left behind in various glad bags.
I rolled it all together carefully and as I lit it and started puffing away I thought that maybe to clean up I needed some devine intervention, some help that wasnt from some yuckie ex-junkie on the end of a phone, heck, they'll just laugh at me, alchohol and weed, gee, come back when you have a real problem buddie.
no... I needed religion! (end of first puff of the might mega mix)
But I bore of christianity. I'd been praying to that god since I was a bub and I never got that Totally Hair Barbie. If he couldnt get me that, how the hell was he gonna help me to stop smoking cones? But I thought I'd give it a go anyway, I wouldnt have listend to a child either. I decided to take a walk since I couldnt find any signs from up-above in the living room. (end of second puff)
This is where everything started to go egg shaped. The sun was setting and the sky was pinkish, and i was stoned, all the ingrediants for an adventure or something exciting to happen, like finding god!
I searched every bush in every primary school in eltham, and then something happend, like it got dark and my joint was finished and my pants were wet and I was lying outside a KFC in swanston st. Did I find jesus? I will never know, but I decided not to look for him again just in case.
I felt defeated, forced to take the road to soberness all by myself, and take the train back home, hungry and with stinkin' underpants, thats when I heard them. A few of them had tamborines and I was uncontrolably attracted to the shiney round things on them. They had orange, shawl thingies bare feet, and a demonic look in thier eye.
And they liked the look of me, before i knew it I was scooped up in thier shawls and deposited in a hall, there must of been about 30 of them, all feeding the hall full off the homeless and students. I took a bite out of the beige mush that was infront of me, and instantly spat it out. This caused a commotion i think because about 5 of the men had turned to face me, eyes blazing with fake smiles.
They floated towards me through the crowd, "eeeeat" "EEEEEEEEEEAAAT"
"But it dosnt have any meat in it! come to think about it it hasnt got any vegies in it either what is this stuff!" I cried... and I really did cry.
But with 5 of them looming over me like tram inspectors I had no choice, and I ate the slop...
I have to leave it at here my friends... the table has suddenly got a slight wobble, suggesting the lan monster has an erection, I knew I shouldnt have farted.
Till next time friends where I will finish my adventure!
toodle eww!
No?
You've forgotten about me.. ah gee.
Well I havnt forgotten about you, in fact if it wasnt for my loyal livejournal fans (that are too shy or intimadated to comment) I dont think I would've had the strenght to make it here alive.
I type to you, un-washed, un-shaven, nails so long its impossible to type, just click, clickedy click, and the horrors that ly beneth them, oh! My teeth are so gritty, cheesy and furry and taste so bad I am afraid to open my mouth. Not that that matters, where I am. I am in the scariest internet cafe in the city loop. I fit right in with the mattered hair flithy fingered Lan monsters, I even have several pepsi cans surrounding me like they do. Still, opening this mouth mite get invitations to Lan partys and I just dont have the energy.
Let me start at the begining.
It was a beatiful saturday evening, before daylight savings came and made 5pm all dark and scary. I was sitting in my lounge room trying to peice together what had happend yesterday, I haddnt gone to work im sure, because there was angry messages on my phone from da boss.
As memories flashed in my brain like a really bad movie, I realised this has got to stop. No-one is going to respect a drunken stoner even if she is super hot.
so I scrapped together all my last fucking dreggs for one last final joint. These are the last few leaves, stalks ANYTHING that was left behind in various glad bags.
I rolled it all together carefully and as I lit it and started puffing away I thought that maybe to clean up I needed some devine intervention, some help that wasnt from some yuckie ex-junkie on the end of a phone, heck, they'll just laugh at me, alchohol and weed, gee, come back when you have a real problem buddie.
no... I needed religion! (end of first puff of the might mega mix)
But I bore of christianity. I'd been praying to that god since I was a bub and I never got that Totally Hair Barbie. If he couldnt get me that, how the hell was he gonna help me to stop smoking cones? But I thought I'd give it a go anyway, I wouldnt have listend to a child either. I decided to take a walk since I couldnt find any signs from up-above in the living room. (end of second puff)
This is where everything started to go egg shaped. The sun was setting and the sky was pinkish, and i was stoned, all the ingrediants for an adventure or something exciting to happen, like finding god!
I searched every bush in every primary school in eltham, and then something happend, like it got dark and my joint was finished and my pants were wet and I was lying outside a KFC in swanston st. Did I find jesus? I will never know, but I decided not to look for him again just in case.
I felt defeated, forced to take the road to soberness all by myself, and take the train back home, hungry and with stinkin' underpants, thats when I heard them. A few of them had tamborines and I was uncontrolably attracted to the shiney round things on them. They had orange, shawl thingies bare feet, and a demonic look in thier eye.
And they liked the look of me, before i knew it I was scooped up in thier shawls and deposited in a hall, there must of been about 30 of them, all feeding the hall full off the homeless and students. I took a bite out of the beige mush that was infront of me, and instantly spat it out. This caused a commotion i think because about 5 of the men had turned to face me, eyes blazing with fake smiles.
They floated towards me through the crowd, "eeeeat" "EEEEEEEEEEAAAT"
"But it dosnt have any meat in it! come to think about it it hasnt got any vegies in it either what is this stuff!" I cried... and I really did cry.
But with 5 of them looming over me like tram inspectors I had no choice, and I ate the slop...
I have to leave it at here my friends... the table has suddenly got a slight wobble, suggesting the lan monster has an erection, I knew I shouldnt have farted.
Till next time friends where I will finish my adventure!
toodle eww!