(no subject)
Haven't been alone in the office for a long time.
This has strangely turned into a sanctuary of sorts.
Have been more emotionally stable recently,
except random bouts that throw me off course,
sometimes for a few hours, other times, a few days.
Realised that this stability seem to stem,
ironically, from the time I started to immerse myself in work again.
It has always been the case for most of last sem.
Somehow, no matter how stressed you are at work,
it is something that can managed.
It's something you can control.
Work, attend events, stay in the office alone to write.
Things moved smoothly.
Until I played with fire.
The experience can be likened to a run,
You hit a new pain threshold,
and lactic acid burns through your legs, your hips and your arms.
Your chest heaves.
But you don't stop. You don't pause and allow yourself
to take that breath of a break and to indulge
in those dangerous insidious thoughts.
When you succumb to the sweetness of temptation -
a seemingly innocuous pause,
you collapse on the floor, pain shrieking through your body,
muscles cramping, breath choking, momentum broken,
as you lay on the asphalt in spasmodic agony.
The pain slowly fades away,
but you no longer can run.
Not for the next few weeks.
But by then, it might have been far too late.
This has strangely turned into a sanctuary of sorts.
Have been more emotionally stable recently,
except random bouts that throw me off course,
sometimes for a few hours, other times, a few days.
Realised that this stability seem to stem,
ironically, from the time I started to immerse myself in work again.
It has always been the case for most of last sem.
Somehow, no matter how stressed you are at work,
it is something that can managed.
It's something you can control.
Work, attend events, stay in the office alone to write.
Things moved smoothly.
Until I played with fire.
The experience can be likened to a run,
You hit a new pain threshold,
and lactic acid burns through your legs, your hips and your arms.
Your chest heaves.
But you don't stop. You don't pause and allow yourself
to take that breath of a break and to indulge
in those dangerous insidious thoughts.
When you succumb to the sweetness of temptation -
a seemingly innocuous pause,
you collapse on the floor, pain shrieking through your body,
muscles cramping, breath choking, momentum broken,
as you lay on the asphalt in spasmodic agony.
The pain slowly fades away,
but you no longer can run.
Not for the next few weeks.
But by then, it might have been far too late.