Happy Halloween 'n such.
I love my sister. I don't know what I would do without her. For what I don't have in parents... well, I have in her... and I'm really thankful that she's such a part of my life.
It's so weird to be able to even say I HAVE a sister... let alone all that.
What a messed up sitchyation.
I feel sad a lot lately. Like tonight. I don't even know why. Well, I do... but it's so jumbled and weird and I'm very fickle.
I feel so pulled. In so many directions.
And it's taxing.
You know what you want... but you don't know how to get it. Or you don't know why you want it. Or you let possibilities and potential ramifications delay action. You're afraid a lot. You talk about yourself with "you" quite often.
It's just that I think I know who I am, where I'm going, where I'd like to go, whatever... and I think I have so much figured out... but do I? The first step is just accepting that things aren't always stable. That things aren't always clear. That's life. I think I'm just easily overwhelmed.
Yeah.
And I haven't eaten today. Not that I'm not eating normally or anything, it was just one of those days where I didn't really eat. So my body's like, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD..." and my mind is like, "wheeeez....slash eat something...slash you're tired... slash insert weird/awkward/slightly bad mood here."
The thing that annoys me the most about myself is that no matter how often or how hard I preach about it, I ALWAYS forget to see the good when things are "bad" or whatever. First of all, things aren't THAT bad... I'm way too hard on myself (my sister likes to point that out) and there is ALWAYS something happy on the way. And around you. You just have to decide to tap into it and take it for what it is. Quit dwelling on the negative -- there is ALWAYS positive. Sometimes you just have to look harder.
Like Rafiki always said.
Look haaaduh.
The point of the story is that ONE good thing is my sister... I was sad and we talked on the phone for quite a bit just now. Some good things are happening for her and that makes me happy. She makes me happy. She's solid for me. To me. I love her soooomuch. I have a lot of other good things, too. I have a lot of people that love and care for me -- and I care for/about and love a lot of people. I'm very blessed there.
Oh, and there's God. Yeah, that's right. I said it.
Or typed it. Whatever.
The funny thing about these entries -- the entries where I'm always like, "IAMSAD,BLAH" or whatever... is that I usually pull myself out of it by writing down how I feel, plain and simple. The new moral of the story, kids?
That's why I adore writing. That's why I do it... couldn't NOT do it... and will do it for the rest of my life. It's an amazing tool, a powerful resource... and everyone can tap into it. Words are amazing.
SuchageekIloveit.
Good outweighs bad. Period.
I need to go get some food. Yes, it's 11 something.
Happy Halloween. :)
It's so weird to be able to even say I HAVE a sister... let alone all that.
What a messed up sitchyation.
I feel sad a lot lately. Like tonight. I don't even know why. Well, I do... but it's so jumbled and weird and I'm very fickle.
I feel so pulled. In so many directions.
And it's taxing.
You know what you want... but you don't know how to get it. Or you don't know why you want it. Or you let possibilities and potential ramifications delay action. You're afraid a lot. You talk about yourself with "you" quite often.
It's just that I think I know who I am, where I'm going, where I'd like to go, whatever... and I think I have so much figured out... but do I? The first step is just accepting that things aren't always stable. That things aren't always clear. That's life. I think I'm just easily overwhelmed.
Yeah.
And I haven't eaten today. Not that I'm not eating normally or anything, it was just one of those days where I didn't really eat. So my body's like, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD..." and my mind is like, "wheeeez....slash eat something...slash you're tired... slash insert weird/awkward/slightly bad mood here."
The thing that annoys me the most about myself is that no matter how often or how hard I preach about it, I ALWAYS forget to see the good when things are "bad" or whatever. First of all, things aren't THAT bad... I'm way too hard on myself (my sister likes to point that out) and there is ALWAYS something happy on the way. And around you. You just have to decide to tap into it and take it for what it is. Quit dwelling on the negative -- there is ALWAYS positive. Sometimes you just have to look harder.
Like Rafiki always said.
Look haaaduh.
The point of the story is that ONE good thing is my sister... I was sad and we talked on the phone for quite a bit just now. Some good things are happening for her and that makes me happy. She makes me happy. She's solid for me. To me. I love her soooomuch. I have a lot of other good things, too. I have a lot of people that love and care for me -- and I care for/about and love a lot of people. I'm very blessed there.
Oh, and there's God. Yeah, that's right. I said it.
Or typed it. Whatever.
The funny thing about these entries -- the entries where I'm always like, "IAMSAD,BLAH" or whatever... is that I usually pull myself out of it by writing down how I feel, plain and simple. The new moral of the story, kids?
That's why I adore writing. That's why I do it... couldn't NOT do it... and will do it for the rest of my life. It's an amazing tool, a powerful resource... and everyone can tap into it. Words are amazing.
SuchageekIloveit.
Good outweighs bad. Period.
I need to go get some food. Yes, it's 11 something.
Happy Halloween. :)