(no subject)
That was about the most dramatic and exciting thing I could think of to write in order to get everyone's attention. I feel pretty ashamed and dirty right now, I'll be honest with you. Having said that, I don't feel too bad because if you're reading this then it means it worked and I do believe that makes you just as bad as I am. Shame on you.
So the real reason I sucked you all in (so to speak) was because I want you all to SPONSOR ME BITCHES! I'm doing the Race For Life in aid of Cancer Research UK on the 15th July and it's only made worthwhile if good people like yourselves (hmm the arse kissing doesn't work so well after I insulted you in the first paragraph, does it?) stick their hands in their pockets and throw me their coppers. Incidently, that's coppers of the monetary variety - don't be chucking random policeman at me please. Can't claim tax back on them for a start - would cause all sorts of chaos.
Please don't be put off by thinking you're obliged to donate a fortune and therefore feel that you can't. Of course the more you can give the better but even just £1 will make a huge difference.
If you could take some time out to visit my sponsorship page I'd be eternally grateful. Well, realistically I'm more likely to be grateful for a year until I do it again but the sentiment's still there.
So here it is:
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/lynnetempleton2007
I feel I should also point out that when I said "SPONSOR ME BITCHES", I also wasn't asking for you to donate all the female dogs you could get your hands on. Having assessed the level of intelligence of my friends on here I realised I needed to clarify that.
Outraged by the accusation that you're thick? Then prove me wrong - click on the link and show me you really do know what you're meant to do!
I really should have been a salesman. Wasted talent, I'm telling you.