We are failing daily.
I spent my afternoon trashing the new Jenny Lewis record for the friday print of the paper. I also offended someone politically today and although I feel bad, I can't help but think it was a little dramatic for even my taste. It's late september and I think I want out of here. I have apple picking and a dog to sleep with waiting for me in NH. My fathers food is better and the sound of my mothers voice is not so much a distraction as much a comfort to me now. I know my grandmother has a closet full of things that need to be taken out in boxes. In autumn all I want to do is sit in her mud room looking through her journals and the taking the scarves she no longer has desire to wear. I find comfort in her. We disagree on everything except that I come from her and we both share the love for Sinatra. Although, hers has always been somewhat romantic. I came up with the mindset that it is green grass forever. I forgot about the importance of sweaters, especially this far north. I forgot so many things at home and I think I left myself there because I lacked any desire to be here. I am happy. I have every reason to be grateful for where I am but I have a tendency to look at the bigger picture. This isn't it.