(no subject)
October approaches...
I'm almost eighteen!!! Fun stuff. I really don't feel different at all. This school year's going to be grueling though. Hon. Anatomy, Dual Enrollment English and Calculus and Guitar. At least I dropped piano and chorus. I don't think I could have survived.
Several new developments: No classes w/ my best friend (in my grade) Marie, who I've had at least one class with every term since I was a freshman, only one class with Landon (another best friend), and every class but one with Joey. I'll get to that in a second. Let's see, what else? Oh- guitar w/ one of George's (my little brother's) friends Tyler. He's cool. And- the school took away all the junk food from the cafeteria because apparently, kids in AL are really fat. This cracks me up every time I think about it. They nixed all of the Little Debbie snacks, soft drinks, pizza and Curious George fruit packs. I don't know what they're planning on selling now. Celery, I guess, or tofu or something. It doesn't really affect me b/c I bring my lunch. Landon's pretty upset. He ate twinkies like, every day. : ) He'll just have to start bringing his own crap from home I suppose.
Alrighty, I'm going to describe Joey briefly and the dilemma, thicker than pea soup surrounding him. Well, maybe it's not THAT thick. Maybe I'm the thick one. Either way, it's difficult being around him right now. Hey, tell you what. I'll just lay down some actual facts before I get into the emotional crap.
fact 1- I sort of like him
fact 2- He sort of likes me. (Or really likes me. I don't know exactly how much.)
fact 3- ok, I'm pretty sure he really likes me.
fact 4- he's an atheist.
fact 5- in the year and a half that I've known him, I've done almost no witnessing. I mean, I've tried to be the best example of a good friend that I can be and I've told him where I stand with stuff, but I've never been like, "Jesus loves you and He's the Son of God and He died for your sins." I don't know if I should. I mean, there's a time and place for everything right? I don't want to rush witnessing to him. It might only make it worse.
fact 6- he knows that I don't date and so far, he's been cool with that (not trying to ask me out or being overly physical or anything.) But he does do the arm around the shoulder a lot, as well as the meaningful glance and the linking of arms and the sentences left hanging in the air at the worst places...
Seeing as my facts are turning into paragraphs, I'll revert now to my original journaling style. The thing about Joey is that I don't know how to act around him. We have almost nothing in common. I don't see the world the same way he does. I don't know how to relate to him. And whenever we hang out, I spend most of the time worrying about how my hair looks or whatever instead of where he is with God. He makes it hard to put God first. And my God is a jealous God. Plus, I suck at being a sister in Christ to guys I have feelings for. I spend more time getting wrapped up in the emotional pea soup stuff than whether he's having a bad/good day. I just don't know what to do about this. The worst part is that there's nothing TO do. It was hard enough last year but now I have to face him all day long. And I don't have my Christian pals to hold up my arms. Last year I was THAT Moses. The one too tired to face the battle with his arms held up by his friends. This year I'm the Moses killing Egyptians by taking action w/out God's blessing and running into the desert when I'm too cowardly to deal with the consequences.
So I have THIS on my plate along with all the honors/DE classes and college stuff. I mean, this is why I don't date to begin with: b/c I'm seventeen (almost eighteen) and I do NOT need the additional drama.
But just writing about it makes me feel a little better. Plus Marie, Landon, and I have early dismissal so I can talk to them after school. And then there's Anna and Laura who are good for this sort of thing.
I think I'm just making mountains out of molehills again. I'm surrounded by friends and family who love me and I can burn this bridge when I get there. (Or cross it. Whichever applies at the time.)
I'm almost eighteen!!! Fun stuff. I really don't feel different at all. This school year's going to be grueling though. Hon. Anatomy, Dual Enrollment English and Calculus and Guitar. At least I dropped piano and chorus. I don't think I could have survived.
Several new developments: No classes w/ my best friend (in my grade) Marie, who I've had at least one class with every term since I was a freshman, only one class with Landon (another best friend), and every class but one with Joey. I'll get to that in a second. Let's see, what else? Oh- guitar w/ one of George's (my little brother's) friends Tyler. He's cool. And- the school took away all the junk food from the cafeteria because apparently, kids in AL are really fat. This cracks me up every time I think about it. They nixed all of the Little Debbie snacks, soft drinks, pizza and Curious George fruit packs. I don't know what they're planning on selling now. Celery, I guess, or tofu or something. It doesn't really affect me b/c I bring my lunch. Landon's pretty upset. He ate twinkies like, every day. : ) He'll just have to start bringing his own crap from home I suppose.
Alrighty, I'm going to describe Joey briefly and the dilemma, thicker than pea soup surrounding him. Well, maybe it's not THAT thick. Maybe I'm the thick one. Either way, it's difficult being around him right now. Hey, tell you what. I'll just lay down some actual facts before I get into the emotional crap.
fact 1- I sort of like him
fact 2- He sort of likes me. (Or really likes me. I don't know exactly how much.)
fact 3- ok, I'm pretty sure he really likes me.
fact 4- he's an atheist.
fact 5- in the year and a half that I've known him, I've done almost no witnessing. I mean, I've tried to be the best example of a good friend that I can be and I've told him where I stand with stuff, but I've never been like, "Jesus loves you and He's the Son of God and He died for your sins." I don't know if I should. I mean, there's a time and place for everything right? I don't want to rush witnessing to him. It might only make it worse.
fact 6- he knows that I don't date and so far, he's been cool with that (not trying to ask me out or being overly physical or anything.) But he does do the arm around the shoulder a lot, as well as the meaningful glance and the linking of arms and the sentences left hanging in the air at the worst places...
Seeing as my facts are turning into paragraphs, I'll revert now to my original journaling style. The thing about Joey is that I don't know how to act around him. We have almost nothing in common. I don't see the world the same way he does. I don't know how to relate to him. And whenever we hang out, I spend most of the time worrying about how my hair looks or whatever instead of where he is with God. He makes it hard to put God first. And my God is a jealous God. Plus, I suck at being a sister in Christ to guys I have feelings for. I spend more time getting wrapped up in the emotional pea soup stuff than whether he's having a bad/good day. I just don't know what to do about this. The worst part is that there's nothing TO do. It was hard enough last year but now I have to face him all day long. And I don't have my Christian pals to hold up my arms. Last year I was THAT Moses. The one too tired to face the battle with his arms held up by his friends. This year I'm the Moses killing Egyptians by taking action w/out God's blessing and running into the desert when I'm too cowardly to deal with the consequences.
So I have THIS on my plate along with all the honors/DE classes and college stuff. I mean, this is why I don't date to begin with: b/c I'm seventeen (almost eighteen) and I do NOT need the additional drama.
But just writing about it makes me feel a little better. Plus Marie, Landon, and I have early dismissal so I can talk to them after school. And then there's Anna and Laura who are good for this sort of thing.
I think I'm just making mountains out of molehills again. I'm surrounded by friends and family who love me and I can burn this bridge when I get there. (Or cross it. Whichever applies at the time.)