Happy Birthday! - Do Not Read.
One hundred and thirty years ago, minus a day, the upper portion of the American continent emerged screaming forth from the depths of Mother Earth's uterus, a mere fifty years after it's southern conjoined twin. This upper portion of brand new land mass was christened shortly after a long and bloody battle between the natives of this place, Indians (not to be confused with Indians), and a distant group of travelers, the French (not to be confused with the Japanese). This battle was long and intense, mainly because the French did not have the same stroke of genius as their traveling cousins, the English, which was to feign friendship with the Indians and to be suspiciously generous with pox laden blankets. This war was instead fought on cliffs and rivers, and involved much bloodshed of both Indians, French, and beavers, who were found to make very fashionable hats. The French emerged victorious in reclaiming the land which was rightfully theirs, and on the day of their victory, the mighty generals of their mighty armies climbed to the top of the highest mountain, and thereon inscribed it's true name. Canada. A name that ironically and somewhat morbidly was stolen from the Indians, meaning "my home".
Disclaimer: All of the above is to be considered wildly inaccurate and/or completely false. Any resemblance to actual fact is accidental and/or drug induced mass hysteria. If the reading of the above passage causes dry throat, eye irritation, and/or severe rectal bleeding, immediately cease reading, and consult your local physician.
Disclaimer: All of the above is to be considered wildly inaccurate and/or completely false. Any resemblance to actual fact is accidental and/or drug induced mass hysteria. If the reading of the above passage causes dry throat, eye irritation, and/or severe rectal bleeding, immediately cease reading, and consult your local physician.