late night rambling

[begakicks]

It's late at night and the glow of the computer screen makes my eyes blurry and sore. My roommate sleeps in his bed, or at least he tries to sleep, i try to type quietly so he doesnt wake up and throw things at me. It's at these times that i try to gather my thoughts, try to determine meaning in the meaningless. My masturbation of philosophy, its stimulating until i come to a climactic conclusion and then im left feeling stupid for an hour. Yet i continue my pondering. Wondering why death occurs when it does and how it does. Wondering why the sunset soothes. Perhaps its a method of relaxation shone forth from the heavens to grant us peace of mind. Is it then made in vain when we grudgingly worry our thoughts in spite of it? I wonder of dreams. I wonder of their meaning. Perhaps it IS just a continuation of brain activity. But isnt being awake a continuation of brain activity, and yet it is so much more. Perhaps reality is relative. Perhaps what is, is only what we are told is and therefore believe it to be true, and that which is not, is only not because we believe it is not. Perhaps these thoughts are only minor malfunctions in my continuous brain activity, inconclusive ramblings that are not concrete. For what is not concrete cannot be. Or can it?

Now I am left to feel ignorant for having thought up such nonsense.