HA!
Hahaha i was being such a little bitch earlier worrieng about matty, i dont know whats wrong with me, im such a fag! im not gonna be a fun wife lets say that. was shacking and then sick i mean oh my god whats wrong with me? i need to get a grip.
Well anyway thats the plan. instead of sitting and panicking about the future and what might happen, im going to be happy with what i have now, i mean if he's leaving maybe its best i spend what time i might have with him NOT being a dick? I duno just an idea.
I dont blame him for anything, not really, i get annoyed that he doesnt know what he wants and messes me about a bit but i would in that situation and i know i would.
Still cant belive how soft he was with me on Sunday night, he makes me fall for him more every time were together hahaha
Kilvo the twat, i was talking to him last night, and bought up what he was like with me on Saturday night and he said 'Next time ill give you a couple of quid then it wont be rape.'
NEXT TIME!? he can go fuck his mum. Cos im not doing that again. If he thinks im going to york with him, he's an idiot.
he did however send me a text at around 3am today saying 'iv been thinking and i dont think we should do anything untill your over matty, cos i feel like im getting in the way'.
I did like him a lot, i was willing to let him have me, take the hurt away, but Saturday night took the piss, i didnt appreciate it, so yeah, as far as he's concerned ill never get over matty. Saying that it doesnt feel like i ever will.
Its good im in such a great mood today, for the past few weeks iv been feeling so down, falling apart, crying just about every night which sucked, snapping at people close to me.. But i cant do it, cos i think im making myself ill stressing about shit i cant do anything about.
Eugh walked to the doctors in hessle today, another hour and a half of walking and the dizzy bitch got my dates wrong! i mean for fucks sake! the exercise is great but shes such a dingbat!! anyhoo sorted some other stuff out i needed to do and then had another appointment at 4 so had to go to that, but it was closer, on erythromycin again, great stuff, takes away my appetite. that was just about my day, thought i should add it so i dont sound too obsessed with my love life though nothing much happens to me.
eeeeep x i am the ninja badger plotting your demise.
Morphine x