surrounded around crappy computer speakers

[beftgoleft]

the words becoming the manifesto
created line by line
spit at me through the speakers that
hold each of us together
while we last over
forties
hidden in the clay cup
in which i made with a past lover
I branded it with stars
that were once her eyes
and i wear her battered Oxford shirt to sleep
as i wander over my bare breasts at night
searching for that which is
not found through familiar fingertips
or found under familiar fabric that
I would sleep wrapped up in
each night living by secrets
my life is confined to a room
a missed heart sleeping only feet away
that pushes me further and further
out my own door
Now I'm lost in a city (my city) that says
there is shit to be done
and my love has become a grocery list
pasted on her fridge
i've been corked
like the blood red wine
racing through my veins
spinning though my arteries
i'm spent over pennies and nickles
again
as we hold ourselves together
the three of us
and if I was to bet over each hand
handed me
I'd be asking favors
and begging for one more chance
to pull paper money from behind strangers' ears
"those girls in the front row asked me for your number"
I'm a figure at night
held tight to those who know nothing of
the mystery that is me
and the mystery that is my heart
which is
held out in the cold at your door
people said it would be fine
and that it wouldn't rain
but i was born in a thunderstorm
and my heart is gruesome, soaked and shivering
on a chicago sidewalk
and as for now
we.
the three of us
stick together around this mess of words
and mind games
and airport departure times
placing bets in alcohol and pocket change
sucking life out of a painted mug
waiting for people to find out
that life is soon to be long gone