(no subject)
every one around me seems to be having good things happen top them. i wish i had good things happening to me, yeah sure ive just got a good oppertunity in a this new job, but im really not having fun with it.. the drive is a bitch and the conditions are apulling! and im a bad speller!
dave just posted a quiz about the year just past. wile reading through it i was thinking about how i would have answered these questions.. and OMG! i had a very boring year! i mean... i didnt get the girls i wanted.. i havnt moved off my ares with music the way i wanted to.. ive done nothing to boost my esteem! iv had ppl crittizise me for my esteem...ive had so may oppertunitys pass me by...and the only thing ive lernt about my self is not to trust sum girls!
this really frustrates me!! finishing uni was spose to me doing all i can to improve my self! fuck thats why i started this journal! thats why i narrowed my friends down to the ones i know i can trust! i cant even figur out how to say what im really feeling right now!
but wile doing that opend up to other ppl i dont know.. imean fuck! i got to know sum awesome ppl this yr! sum i already sorta knew from befor... others i met this yr...and i think you ppl know who you are! i just wanna see you guys more often and become cool friends with yous!
every one else seems to be moving fowerd.. i think i have a lill too... but im so disponited with so many of the choices i made,
latly ive been feeling really odd, ive would dicribe it i would say " i feel like a shell... all my thoughts in my head are only coming from the skull,... i feel like i have hollow que ball in my head that is impossible to crack open to fill with memory, knowlage, or a place that i can just think about things... when im faced with problems.. all i can seem to do is look as this kinda redy marony crimson kinda colour... you know when you close your eyes in a well lit room..its like all reddy and totaly dark, well even when my eyes are open i seem to kinda have that in my minds eye... normaly i would have pictures or words running through this lill space, but in the last say 8 months its been blank, dus any one else get this ??? should i see a doctor???
its funny that i say i have a hollow space in my head, coz at the same time my head just feels so crowded, with nuthing.. thoughts just dont come to me! it just leaves me feeling almost depressed... like fuck if this is all im capeble of what good am i???
if you read this and think im a quack fuckin tell me! id love to know your insite in to my problems, jess did it so well.. im sure you can give it a crack or 3
sum one please fuckin jam with me!
dave just posted a quiz about the year just past. wile reading through it i was thinking about how i would have answered these questions.. and OMG! i had a very boring year! i mean... i didnt get the girls i wanted.. i havnt moved off my ares with music the way i wanted to.. ive done nothing to boost my esteem! iv had ppl crittizise me for my esteem...ive had so may oppertunitys pass me by...and the only thing ive lernt about my self is not to trust sum girls!
this really frustrates me!! finishing uni was spose to me doing all i can to improve my self! fuck thats why i started this journal! thats why i narrowed my friends down to the ones i know i can trust! i cant even figur out how to say what im really feeling right now!
but wile doing that opend up to other ppl i dont know.. imean fuck! i got to know sum awesome ppl this yr! sum i already sorta knew from befor... others i met this yr...and i think you ppl know who you are! i just wanna see you guys more often and become cool friends with yous!
every one else seems to be moving fowerd.. i think i have a lill too... but im so disponited with so many of the choices i made,
latly ive been feeling really odd, ive would dicribe it i would say " i feel like a shell... all my thoughts in my head are only coming from the skull,... i feel like i have hollow que ball in my head that is impossible to crack open to fill with memory, knowlage, or a place that i can just think about things... when im faced with problems.. all i can seem to do is look as this kinda redy marony crimson kinda colour... you know when you close your eyes in a well lit room..its like all reddy and totaly dark, well even when my eyes are open i seem to kinda have that in my minds eye... normaly i would have pictures or words running through this lill space, but in the last say 8 months its been blank, dus any one else get this ??? should i see a doctor???
its funny that i say i have a hollow space in my head, coz at the same time my head just feels so crowded, with nuthing.. thoughts just dont come to me! it just leaves me feeling almost depressed... like fuck if this is all im capeble of what good am i???
if you read this and think im a quack fuckin tell me! id love to know your insite in to my problems, jess did it so well.. im sure you can give it a crack or 3
sum one please fuckin jam with me!