update-ski
Hey! I haven't updated in a while, but things have been fun lately; although I have definitely not been happy these past few days also. They have also been very stressful, which added to me not being happy.
They have been fun because I have been hanging out with Kali most of the time. We have so much fun together and I am glad for it. They have also been fun because I passed my road test, got a car, got my own personalized license plate, haha, and got my car all insured and what not.
I haven't been really happy lately though. Just about the only times I am happy is when Chris is being himself and when Kali is also doing the same. Chris has been a little weird ever since Tuesday because I couldn't make it to his baseball game. I'm really sorry, geeze, it isn't my fault. He's been weird, such as, talking shit about me, my friends, my car, and just making me feel like shit in general. I really don't understand it. Then he changes and acts totally different. I'm feeling a bit of bi-polar-ness radiating from his direction, haha. I have also been kind of fighting with my parents a lot lately. They are just being stupid and cheap about me, my car, and my birthday. They just like to piss me off and want me to die in that car.
I've been stressed a lot lately because of my parents, Chris, and my road test. I didn't even feel any bit of relief after I finished my test and passed. I don't know what is wrong with me, there must be something though, otherwise, things wouldn't be so fucked up.
I'm really starting to hate myself again. Ugh, it seems like nothing I do is right. All I do is piss people off and I'm just plain stupid. I really need to figure shit out though, before it is too late. Chris told me that if I ever slit my wrists or harm myself again, he will tell his Mom and not be with me. How nice of him, he really seems to care now doesn't he? FYI: If he tells his Mom, she will tell mine, who will then probably proceed to send me to some physiatrist. Then Chris would break up with me which would just cause more depression, and more self-mutilation, which would get me in even more trouble. Yeah, I don't know why I just put that. Now you all probably think I am some crazy suicidal bitch, which I basically am, but... you know.
Oh yeah, my car is being cool too though. The guy that sold it to us is an asshole because there are about three spots where gas is leaking out of it. ::screams:: I hate this shit. So, we get to drop it off Sunday night to get a new gas tank because the place is cool like that and doesn't work on weekends. Good news is, I will have it for Monday, my birthday. I'm going to ask my Mom if I can drive her car around Monday night though because I like her car better.
We should be going out to the Garchow's in a little bit. They are back from Florida and I guess we're going out there. I don't want to though because my Mom wants to show them my car. Yes, we are going to drive that car with a gas leak all the way out to the middle of nowhere in Hemlock. Cute huh? Grr. Oh well. I also don't want to take it out there because Jake and Nick will probably laugh at me because it is in a desperate need of a paint job. :-( ::cries::
I suppose I should go and get ready and wait for them to be ready to leave. I'll update sometime later, who knows when? Until then...
They have been fun because I have been hanging out with Kali most of the time. We have so much fun together and I am glad for it. They have also been fun because I passed my road test, got a car, got my own personalized license plate, haha, and got my car all insured and what not.
I haven't been really happy lately though. Just about the only times I am happy is when Chris is being himself and when Kali is also doing the same. Chris has been a little weird ever since Tuesday because I couldn't make it to his baseball game. I'm really sorry, geeze, it isn't my fault. He's been weird, such as, talking shit about me, my friends, my car, and just making me feel like shit in general. I really don't understand it. Then he changes and acts totally different. I'm feeling a bit of bi-polar-ness radiating from his direction, haha. I have also been kind of fighting with my parents a lot lately. They are just being stupid and cheap about me, my car, and my birthday. They just like to piss me off and want me to die in that car.
I've been stressed a lot lately because of my parents, Chris, and my road test. I didn't even feel any bit of relief after I finished my test and passed. I don't know what is wrong with me, there must be something though, otherwise, things wouldn't be so fucked up.
I'm really starting to hate myself again. Ugh, it seems like nothing I do is right. All I do is piss people off and I'm just plain stupid. I really need to figure shit out though, before it is too late. Chris told me that if I ever slit my wrists or harm myself again, he will tell his Mom and not be with me. How nice of him, he really seems to care now doesn't he? FYI: If he tells his Mom, she will tell mine, who will then probably proceed to send me to some physiatrist. Then Chris would break up with me which would just cause more depression, and more self-mutilation, which would get me in even more trouble. Yeah, I don't know why I just put that. Now you all probably think I am some crazy suicidal bitch, which I basically am, but... you know.
Oh yeah, my car is being cool too though. The guy that sold it to us is an asshole because there are about three spots where gas is leaking out of it. ::screams:: I hate this shit. So, we get to drop it off Sunday night to get a new gas tank because the place is cool like that and doesn't work on weekends. Good news is, I will have it for Monday, my birthday. I'm going to ask my Mom if I can drive her car around Monday night though because I like her car better.
We should be going out to the Garchow's in a little bit. They are back from Florida and I guess we're going out there. I don't want to though because my Mom wants to show them my car. Yes, we are going to drive that car with a gas leak all the way out to the middle of nowhere in Hemlock. Cute huh? Grr. Oh well. I also don't want to take it out there because Jake and Nick will probably laugh at me because it is in a desperate need of a paint job. :-( ::cries::
I suppose I should go and get ready and wait for them to be ready to leave. I'll update sometime later, who knows when? Until then...