i'm alive and i like it
I was gonna complain about my life cuz i've been depressed lately. But then i took a break to read everyone else's lj's and saw all this depressing shitaki so i was all ready to share what was wrong with my life--but i came upon brittany's and i realized that she's right. Her definition of depression is Depression (n.): a lame excuse utilized by people who love to complain about their lives and things with which they are not happy, but are too lazy to get off of their asses and fix anything. <--i hear ya britt. I even talk about how depressed people are so retarded and everyone hates them. So yeah i deleted everything and am instead gonna write about the positive aspects about my life.
i'm alive.
i'm sexy.
i'm not a--- s-------. (code cuz u never know who will read this shitaki) yet i doubt this person will. anyone who is alive should know who i'm referring to.
i'm getting a car sometime this week!! it's a 2003 silver impala (i haven't seen it yet though) and we put the down payment down and now all we need is to get the title and insurance and plates and then BAM it's mine.
i had a pretty okay weekend except i should have taken more of the opportunities that were presented to me that i didn't take slash should have made a few different decisions.
no meet the press this weekend!!
no school on friday!!
1/2 day next monday!!
no school next thurs, fri, or next next monday!!
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okay now a side comment on self-esteem. I hear all the people who hate their lives cuz i hated mine sooooooo much before too. I couldn't handle the fact that i'm ugly, "large and in charge" aka fat, am not the most popular girl out there, and most importantly: don't have a bf and at the rate i'm cruisin prolly never will. u know the phrase "cry urself to sleep"? yeah that became my nightly ritual for oh so long.
but then one day (actually this took some time but u get the message) i realized that things could be worse and i should stop complaining. I started looking at the positives in my life, and it really helped. so if u r looking for a way to come back to a normal life juss find something, even if it's stupid or random, that is positive about ur life. Oh and don't be like "there is nothing positive about my life". Trust me, there is. For me, it started out as i'm not openly rude and i have something to give to someone someday and nobody knows it yet. Then it branched out to i'm nice, i'm smart, i'm friendly, i listen to others, i like help people, i can write really good poems, and i'm gonna amount to something someday. So just pick something random and go with it. Then pick new things everyday. Stop complaining about ur life and realize that nobody likes someone who complains all the time. You don't have the worst life ever or you wouldn't attend school or be reading this cuz u wouldn't even have a computer. Psych yourself out of it cuz u prolly psyched urself into it in the first place.
Depression isn't permanent. You CAN get through it. juss accept who u r. i'm not all the way there yet, but i'm starting to truly like who i am. I'm fat yet happy, ugly yet satisfied, and single yet alive. Of course i do have my days where i'm really depressed. And excuse me on those days but i can't help it and i'll be back to normal the next day. Maybe even give me a nice smile and i'll be sure to return it when u need one back. And remember: i'm always here for you, no matter who u r even if we don't really talk.
i'm alive.
i'm sexy.
i'm not a--- s-------. (code cuz u never know who will read this shitaki) yet i doubt this person will. anyone who is alive should know who i'm referring to.
i'm getting a car sometime this week!! it's a 2003 silver impala (i haven't seen it yet though) and we put the down payment down and now all we need is to get the title and insurance and plates and then BAM it's mine.
i had a pretty okay weekend except i should have taken more of the opportunities that were presented to me that i didn't take slash should have made a few different decisions.
no meet the press this weekend!!
no school on friday!!
1/2 day next monday!!
no school next thurs, fri, or next next monday!!
--------------------------------------------------------
okay now a side comment on self-esteem. I hear all the people who hate their lives cuz i hated mine sooooooo much before too. I couldn't handle the fact that i'm ugly, "large and in charge" aka fat, am not the most popular girl out there, and most importantly: don't have a bf and at the rate i'm cruisin prolly never will. u know the phrase "cry urself to sleep"? yeah that became my nightly ritual for oh so long.
but then one day (actually this took some time but u get the message) i realized that things could be worse and i should stop complaining. I started looking at the positives in my life, and it really helped. so if u r looking for a way to come back to a normal life juss find something, even if it's stupid or random, that is positive about ur life. Oh and don't be like "there is nothing positive about my life". Trust me, there is. For me, it started out as i'm not openly rude and i have something to give to someone someday and nobody knows it yet. Then it branched out to i'm nice, i'm smart, i'm friendly, i listen to others, i like help people, i can write really good poems, and i'm gonna amount to something someday. So just pick something random and go with it. Then pick new things everyday. Stop complaining about ur life and realize that nobody likes someone who complains all the time. You don't have the worst life ever or you wouldn't attend school or be reading this cuz u wouldn't even have a computer. Psych yourself out of it cuz u prolly psyched urself into it in the first place.
Depression isn't permanent. You CAN get through it. juss accept who u r. i'm not all the way there yet, but i'm starting to truly like who i am. I'm fat yet happy, ugly yet satisfied, and single yet alive. Of course i do have my days where i'm really depressed. And excuse me on those days but i can't help it and i'll be back to normal the next day. Maybe even give me a nice smile and i'll be sure to return it when u need one back. And remember: i'm always here for you, no matter who u r even if we don't really talk.