fic: Curiosity killed the cat
I blame this insanity on today's heat.
Madonna's 'Like a virgin' just wouldn't stop playing in my head.
It's un-betaed (Only spellchecked) so If anybody would like to help I'd be grateful, just PM me.
so to the crack
Title: Curiosity killed the cat
Author: Aniay
Pairings: Bee/Sam, mentions of others
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Warnings: Just Crack and possible OOCness
Summary: Sam asks, Bee answers, Optimus drives to the sunset.
Curiosity killed the cat
It all started with a question Bee was prepared for.
'Bee?'
'Yes Sam?' The boy seemed fidgety.
'Does Autobots have sex?' He whispered shyly and after a moment of well played hesitation Bee replayed.
'Yes, why do you ask?'
'Well I just got curious how you do... you know... It...' Sam sounded curious and Bee answered his question with even, metallic voice.
'There are many ways Sam, We can link our sparks, connect to each other with special cables or adapters, we can link wirelessly by connecting our minds, we can transform our bodies to resemble human forms but the noise is deafening with all this metal on us really. We can make holoforms looking like the inhabitant of the planet we are on and then mate with the natives, but there are situations recorded when natives mated with us while we were in our robot or car form... Sam are you all right I feel your body temperature rising'
Sam gulped his cheeks red, his heart beating faster
'Wow' he managed... 'I wish I didn't ask.' the radio switched on and Bee smirked
"Like a virgin... touched for the very first time"
'Shuddup Bee.'
***
'The boy asked about our mating you say?' Bee was sitting beside Optimus Prime watching the sun set
'Yes.'
'And what did you tell him?'
'Only the things that can be found on World Wide Web.'
'Oh so the web contains such information?' - Prime sounded amazed. He was silent for a few seconds. - Oh...
'Yes, the humans seems to be very creative'
'But...'
'Yes'
'And...'
'Apparently'
'But Megatron?'
'You can't say you don't see the appeal...' Bee grinned noting the spark of his commanding officer faltering
'Primus! Bee!' Optimus exclaimed
'Look for my name...'
'Oh, OOOOH' Bee smirked 'Does the kid know?' Prime was looking at him curiously.
'Not yet, I'm still trying to bite through this holoform thing'
'Who would have thought that it's so easy to have sex?' Prime sighed 'Just remember to tell Ratchet and Hide about it, hopefully they will finally work the tension between them, hell everyone should know. Now...' Prime cleared his audio '... I believe I have a meeting appointed
"Shot through the heart... And you’re to blame... You give love a bad name" Bee's radio came to life and Optimus responded with a rumbling laugh
'See you little Bee' He drove into the sunset Bee catching sounds of a tune...
"It is a lovely thing, the animal... The animal instinct"
Madonna's 'Like a virgin' just wouldn't stop playing in my head.
It's un-betaed (Only spellchecked) so If anybody would like to help I'd be grateful, just PM me.
so to the crack
Title: Curiosity killed the cat
Author: Aniay
Pairings: Bee/Sam, mentions of others
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Warnings: Just Crack and possible OOCness
Summary: Sam asks, Bee answers, Optimus drives to the sunset.
Curiosity killed the cat
It all started with a question Bee was prepared for.
'Bee?'
'Yes Sam?' The boy seemed fidgety.
'Does Autobots have sex?' He whispered shyly and after a moment of well played hesitation Bee replayed.
'Yes, why do you ask?'
'Well I just got curious how you do... you know... It...' Sam sounded curious and Bee answered his question with even, metallic voice.
'There are many ways Sam, We can link our sparks, connect to each other with special cables or adapters, we can link wirelessly by connecting our minds, we can transform our bodies to resemble human forms but the noise is deafening with all this metal on us really. We can make holoforms looking like the inhabitant of the planet we are on and then mate with the natives, but there are situations recorded when natives mated with us while we were in our robot or car form... Sam are you all right I feel your body temperature rising'
Sam gulped his cheeks red, his heart beating faster
'Wow' he managed... 'I wish I didn't ask.' the radio switched on and Bee smirked
"Like a virgin... touched for the very first time"
'Shuddup Bee.'
***
'The boy asked about our mating you say?' Bee was sitting beside Optimus Prime watching the sun set
'Yes.'
'And what did you tell him?'
'Only the things that can be found on World Wide Web.'
'Oh so the web contains such information?' - Prime sounded amazed. He was silent for a few seconds. - Oh...
'Yes, the humans seems to be very creative'
'But...'
'Yes'
'And...'
'Apparently'
'But Megatron?'
'You can't say you don't see the appeal...' Bee grinned noting the spark of his commanding officer faltering
'Primus! Bee!' Optimus exclaimed
'Look for my name...'
'Oh, OOOOH' Bee smirked 'Does the kid know?' Prime was looking at him curiously.
'Not yet, I'm still trying to bite through this holoform thing'
'Who would have thought that it's so easy to have sex?' Prime sighed 'Just remember to tell Ratchet and Hide about it, hopefully they will finally work the tension between them, hell everyone should know. Now...' Prime cleared his audio '... I believe I have a meeting appointed
"Shot through the heart... And you’re to blame... You give love a bad name" Bee's radio came to life and Optimus responded with a rumbling laugh
'See you little Bee' He drove into the sunset Bee catching sounds of a tune...
"It is a lovely thing, the animal... The animal instinct"