not so good

[beew_and_randy]

Today I wanted to ask Mr. Jagger how he would want me to tell him, if anything came to my mind that I really needed to tell him. Today I had the perfect chance to do just that. It was as usual, when I was leaving to get on the bus. He was standing by the stairs alone and no one was around yet. So I thought "Now is the perfect time to do it." But as I walked closer to him, I just didn't. I don't know why. I just simply didn't. I couldn't bring myself to do that. Like I said I don't know why. I get upset with myself when I can't do things like that. Doing these things mean so much to me. And I have no idea what to do when I can't do them. Valentine's Day is coming up and if I plan on mentioning anythin at all to him, then I need to get this figured out and soon. He means a lot to me, whether he realizes it or not, which I don't think he does. I actually think he'd be better off not knowing, for his sake. Knowing my luck, I won't get another chance like I did today until the very last minute. If I don't get another good chance then I'll simply write a letter and give it to him like during lunch and act like it was a late paper and just tell him that I had no chance to actually say anything to him so I just wrote it to him. Hopefully that'll work out if it comes to it. But I really want to get this so that I can tell him about the way I feel. You know? Well not the way I feel. But whatever it is that I come up with to tell him on Valentine's Day.

Oh, I do have really good news though. Pearl actually ordered the tickets this time and I think that I'll really be able to see Randy!!! I can't wait and I really hope I have close seats so my friedns can see me on TV! I'll have a big sign that says BEEW with an arrow pointing to me. And one that will say Go RKO Go. It kinda rhymes so it's all good.