Better news...
I think things are finally getting better. I have homeroom first thing in the morning at school for like seven minutes. Me being me, I cried about this whole Mr. Jagger and Randy thing. I went to Mrs. Porter again. I cried there too. But she said to me that he's nervous about all this. I kinda knew that I mean it is really obvious that he would be. She said he doesn't want to say anything that would hurt my feelings. I was touched to know that he's thinking about my feelings, I think that is so sweet. And she said he doesn't want to say anything that would ruin our friendship. I wasn't aware we had a friendship at all but hey with the way things are now, I'm happy with that. She also said that he didn't want to say anything that would get him fired. My only question is, what could he possibly say that would get him fired. And besides, it's not like I would tell anyone, the last thing I would want is for him to get fired. And today I was talking to a friend of mine on Yahoo! Instant Messenger and in the end I came up with a another thing that if I were to do it, I would be couragous doing so. I see him everyday after school on my way to my bus. And sometimes he's alone and sometimes another teacher or student is with him. I was thinking that one day if no one is around I will ask him if we could talk sometime. I know that he is nervous about all this but with me going to Mrs. Porters again, she helped me come up with the routine of saying "Mr. Jagger is just a really cool guy, and I love Randy," to myself over and over again and maybe eventually I would get over Mr. Jagger. So I did that for the rest of the day and it seems to be working. I'm not as afraid to look at him anymore. I mean I don't want to look too long because I don't to get these feelings again to build up, but I think that this is finally going to work out. And now that I know this, I think that if I told Mr. Jagger this, he would be more relieve than nervous about this, relieved that I don't have these feelings as much any more. I mean I'm not going to say that, I'm going to say, "I am very sure that I am finally getting over you, but as long as you don't mind, I'd like to have some kind of friendship with you. You are a nice person and I like your personality, and to be honest, I don't have a friend like you. I mean I feel real weird asking someone to be my friend but I say what the heck, it's worth a shot." Hopefully that would have some effect towards the good side. Hope it all goes well...