This was awesome!neliuba_voroninFebruary 16 2004, 11:03:30 UTC
It was long, but fucking interesting. I loved this. It's fucking wierd, but great. I could imagine everything. I laughed a lot at this part:
DETECTIVE CLARK Naturally, we’re doing everything we can to find the killer. We’ve sent out everything we have to all the departments on most of the western sea-board. Quite frankly, we just don’t have much to go on. No fingerprints, no DNA samples. It doesn’t even appear that there was a struggle. It’ highly probably, Mr. and Mrs. Skoil, that the killer waited in ambush for your son, and then jumped out from the cover of his hiding place and attacked cleanly, efficiently, with the weapon. His eyes cloud over as he imagines the scene and he appears lost in his own fantasy. DETECTIVE CLARK ...raining down blow after blow after blow into the back of your son’s head. Glistening blood spouting from the fissures in his skull, spraying, gossamer... He shakes his head and comes back to life. ___
I think the word "dastardly" looks a bit out of place on this paragraph:
BRETT (V.O.) So they had gotten to him. Poor old boy, I hope they didn’t torture him for too long. That’s no way to go. Death by the hand of your vicious enemy. I could only hope that he hadn’t relinquished the whereabouts of the mind control device. The device that would allow the villains to go through on their *dastardly* plan for inflation. He was a proud man, but a week one. I don’t think he could stand under the knife’s edge for too long. Undoubtedly, there plan had been furthered, which meant that my mission was more urgent then ever. I had to find the culprits, stay their plan, and put a stop to all this madness. ____
For some reason, I can't really imagine someone saying this while speaking to someone. It sounds a bit too charged; like a word you'd use in a speech, you know?
I laughed a lot at this part:
DETECTIVE CLARK
Naturally, we’re doing everything we can to find the killer. We’ve sent out everything we have to all the departments on most of the western sea-board. Quite frankly, we just don’t have much to go on. No fingerprints, no DNA samples. It doesn’t even appear that there was a struggle. It’ highly probably, Mr. and Mrs. Skoil, that the killer waited in ambush for your son, and then jumped out from the cover of his hiding place and attacked cleanly, efficiently, with the weapon.
His eyes cloud over as he imagines the scene and he appears lost in his own fantasy.
DETECTIVE CLARK
...raining down blow after blow after blow into the back of your son’s head. Glistening blood spouting from the fissures in his skull, spraying, gossamer...
He shakes his head and comes back to life.
___
I think the word "dastardly" looks a bit out of place on this paragraph:
BRETT (V.O.)
So they had gotten to him. Poor old boy, I hope they didn’t torture him for too long. That’s no way to go. Death by the hand of your vicious enemy. I could only hope that he hadn’t relinquished the whereabouts of the mind control device. The device that would allow the villains to go through on their *dastardly* plan for inflation. He was a proud man, but a week one. I don’t think he could stand under the knife’s edge for too long. Undoubtedly, there plan had been furthered, which meant that my mission was more urgent then ever. I had to find the culprits, stay their plan, and put a stop to all this madness.
____
For some reason, I can't really imagine someone saying this while speaking to someone. It sounds a bit too charged; like a word you'd use in a speech, you know?
Other than that, I thought this was awesome.
-Margaritaville
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