Ice [23b]
Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance, mild angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here
Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…
AN1: Thank @bornfreeonekiss for the selcas and the fact that he made me write more so I had to split this chapter ugh...
AN2: Banner made by taigrin on LJ ;-)
Yunho does not bother texting, ringing his boyfriend instead as he ascends the stairs. He does not really expect the man to answer, but he can always hope.
True enough, his called is not picked up. Before he can hit redial, he gets a message.
MERONG!
Yunho makes a strangled sound, between a laugh and a cry. He is choking on something between the two opposite emotions. Only Jaejoong.
Only his Jaejoong.
He barely manages to type out a quick reply before going back to staring at the photo of his beautiful boyfriend, almost walking straight into the closed door of his bedroom.
Why are you like this? You’re killing me here.
Jaejoong grins, feeling a little lighthearted as he takes another selca, sending it quickly.
Because I love you? What do you think of my “Yunho-view” angle?
Yunho growls.
He actually growls as he types his reply, alternating between licking and chewing his full bottom lip, while trying to maneuver himself into the bedroom and locking the door.
That view is ALWAYS “Yunho-view”. It better be no one else’s view ever…
Are you going neanderthal on me? ;-)
How are you real?
Jaejoong’s grin dies slowly. He can feel the ache in Yunho’s simple text message. His boyfriend has asked him this before, months ago. The sweet, shy, a little awkward captain of the ice hockey team.
The sledgehammer of emotions makes Jaejoong gasp out loud.
Instead of replying, he dials his number.
The call barely makes it to two rings before it is answered, and Jaejoong’s husky voice is like heaven to Yunho’s ears.
“Yunho?”
“Hey…” Yunho’s voice is almost a whisper as he leans against Jaejoong’s door and sliding down to the floor. “…I’ve missed you.”
“I miss you too, baby.”
“Your room still smells like you.”
“How is that possible?”
“I accidentally dropped your Missha cologne and it shattered so the room smells rather overpoweringly of you.”
Jaejoong chuckles quietly, stretching on the bed, arching off it to get all the kinks out of his back. It is just past 6am, and he has not had much sleep, but hearing Yunho is making every pain worth it. He misses him so much it physically hurts.
“Will you buy me another?”
“I’ll buy you whatever you want.”
“What if I want the sun?”
“You are the sun.”
“You have such a sweet mouth.”
“I like vanilla ice cream.”
Jaejoong has to stifle his snort then, mindful of the room’s other occupants. He will never cease to find how amazing it is for them to just fall back into their normal easy banter. He had been worried about awkwardness between them which is why he did not answer Yunho’s call, but a couple of quick text messages, and he knows Yunho is still his and he is Yunho’s.
It is just like when they first “met”, there really is no awkwardness to be had.
“How’s the packing?” Jaejoong decides to turn the conversation to something less dangerous.
“You have a lot of photos. Seriously. I’m drowning in them. There’s a boxful from your group days and did they think you were a girl or what? Long hair? Midriff baring clothes? Everyone else is normal and then there’s you…” Yunho chuckles quietly as he flicks through the box in question. Jaejoong is stunning regardless, everyone else paling in comparison, but then he really is biased. “Want me to send you one?”
“Oh god,” Jaejoong groans, but his curiosity is piqued. “Fine, send me one.”
Yunho grins as he pushes himself off the floor with a loud grunt. He gets an answering hum which makes his smile broaden as he heads quickly to the box of photographs, pulling out the first one he sees and taking a quick shot of it.
“Alright sending it now, hold on.”
He sends it in a message and waits. Jaejoong’s distressed whine makes him crack up.
“Great. I need a box of what not to wear. Can you believe it?
“I thought you were very pretty.”
“Of course you would.”
“You’re saying I’m lying?”
“I know you’re not but augh!” Jaejoong makes an impatient sound as he waves his arm. “Anything else?”
“Hang on.”
Yunho snaps another photo and sends it quickly.
“What the hell, Yunho?”
“You tell me… you like pussy that much?” Yunho’s tone is vastly amused as he picks up the photograph to stare at it a little closer.
“Fuck. Yunho your mouth needs to be punished. I refuse to walk around with blue balls. Shut up!” Jaejoong hisses, pulling the covers over his head as he hunches down in his bed, as if that is going to help somehow.
“Me talking about pussy is giving you blue balls? I think we have a problem…oppa.” Yunho’s smirk can be heard loud and clear over the phone despite the thousands upon thousands of miles separating them.
Jaejoong is actually gritting his teeth as he clutches his phone to his ear. “Not the fucking time and place. Yunho how did we go from not talking for three weeks to this?” The rockstar laments, desperate to pour ice over his overheated body.
“I don’t know,” Yunho answers seriously. “You tell me.”
“Can we talk about something mundane please?”
“Alright, fine. How about this?”
Yunho quickly sends a photo he took earlier.
“Oh my god this is so wrong.”
Yunho’s brow furrows at the strange exclamation. He takes a look at the photo he sent, and he sees nothing wrong with it.
“What’s wrong?”
“You! You! I have blue balls and you sent me a photo of me with…with…” Jaejoong is completely nonplussed. His boyfriend is so weird.
“You wanted to talk about something mundane!” Yunho returns a little defensively.
“Oh god,” Jaejoong groans, hitting his phone on his head. “I meant talk about…I don’t know. Packing?”
“I wanted to tease you about your hair.”
“What about my hair?”
“I like it like that…”
“Yunho…this is so not helping.”
“Would you rather I talk about… the pussy cat? That’s why you’re groaning isn’t it?”
“Goddamn it, Yunho. I’ve spent almost four weeks remembering the last time we were together. I do not fucking care about fucking pussy.” Jaejoong hisses almost hysterically. He peeks over the covers to check if the coast is clear, and he exhales loudly when he finds that it is. He pulls the covers back over his head and moans. “Yunho, please. I really can’t right now.”
“Calm down, babe. You’re too easily unwound.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“Touché. But it still isn’t my fault you see innuendo in everything. That photo with the pus-“ Yunho pauses, changing his mind about the word. “Cat. With the cat was totally innocent! I have a couple more of you with different cats on my phone.”
“You are so fucking weird.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Indeed.” Jaejoong agrees. "Ok, please. Yunho for the love of everything unholy, let’s talk about packing.”
“Ok, fine. Let’s talk about clothes. A great deal of clothes in suitcases at the back of your closet. Do you want me to repack them or just bring the suitcases? I think there are some toys as well. I don’t think they’re mouldy but I can check.”
Jaejoong stretches again, pushing the covers off, grunting softly into the phone as he sits up and gets out of bed.
“More noises like that and I’m getting into your bed, Jae.”
“You’re too easily riled up.” Jaejoong teases as he stares at his reflection. He is going home soon. Tomorrow in fact. He had a long day yesterday, but today is a new day. He will spend the entire day packing more than likely, and then he will be home tomorrow.
Home.
“Only you can do it. I miss you.” Yunho starts pacing the room as he changes the subject quickly. “The house is almost ready. I went ahead and bought whatever it is we decided on before you left. Whatever is undecided, I’ve left so the upstairs bedrooms are all still up in the air. Only our bedroom is done, plus the study and music room. That leaves three empty rooms for you to do what you want with them.”
“For us to do what we want with them,” Jaejoong corrects softly.
“For me to argue with you about what you want to do with them and then give in to you anyway,” Yunho smiles.
“Am I that bad?”
“More often than not.”
“I like that you’re not afraid to tell me the truth.”
“And I like that you can handle the truth.”
“Only from you. Everyone else can go fuck a pogo stick.”
“Oh, Jae.”
“I miss you.”
“I know… I miss you too. Come home soon.”
“I will. I have to go, baby.”
“Think of me.”
“Always.”
~~~
Yunho is watching the news with half an ear. It is the entertainment section, and they are commenting about how Hero Jaejoong’s charity single has been the number one single in both Japan and South Korea for three weeks running, despite the fact that the star himself has vanished off the face of the planet. Nobody knows where he is, and everyone is speculating that he is currently holed up in a studio completing his new album.
“Shows how much they know,” Yunho mutters to himself as he fondles the box in his pants pocket. He has just returned from his run around the neighbourhood, and is currently cooling down before having a shower. He cannot be more happy with what he sees of the area that his parents have chosen. The gated community is exceedingly secure, and despite some stray Hero Jaejoong fans camped outside the guard room, none have tried to enter. Half the estate is still unoccupied, people moving in weekly. Their own neighbours are still scarce, with only three out of the seven homes on their street occupied.
Yunho enjoys the quiet and solitude, which makes the ringing doorbell extra startling when he hears it.
-
Jaejoong follows Yunho as he jogs back to their house, the yearning pang he feels as he watches the young man doing an every day routine exercise manifests itself physically in a sharp pain in his belly. He drives at a fair distant, with his headlights off. The guard had recognised him immediately, and had been more than happy to wave him discreetly through, though not before giving him a security decal so that he has no need to roll down his tinted windows again. He noticed the fans but they do not notice him, probably thanks to the car he is currently driving.
Nothing flashy for Kim Jaejoong tonight.
He is parked in their driveway, trying to work up the courage to get out of the car. The whole journey has been uneventful, Jaejoong managing to travel incognito, in part thanks to the favour owed to him by a well-known friend in America who had lent him his private jet for the trip back home. No one apart from one airport groundstaff who is married to one of the accountants at Jung Group knows he is back, and she had been more than happy to promise secrecy.
According to her, Jihye’s warning at the cocktail reception had managed to get out, as she cheerfully verified his re-entry into South Korea. No one would dare mess with Hero Jaejoong for fear of the retribution of not just the star himself but the entire might of Jung Group. And as she says, no one is surely stupid enough to do that, least of all her.
It reassures him somewhat, but the apprehension gnawing in his gut cannot be ignored. He could probably sit in the car all night if he had not heard the stirring.
He exits the car quickly and as quietly as possible, jogging the short distance to the front door. It takes several tries, but he finally manages to press the door bell. It seems a little weird needing to press the doorbell when he knows the code to enter the house, but he does not want to be too presumptuous.
He almost laughs at himself then.
Presumptuous?
He is so past that and beyond to even worry about it anymore.
The door opens suddenly, and he steps back, blinking at the sudden brightness of the hallway light as he sees Yunho’s tall silhouette. He blinks rapidly to adjust to the light change, and notices that Yunho has lost his jacket, and is now dressed simply in a white wifebeater and loose trackpants.
Yunho simply stands there, not quite believing his eyes.
Jaejoong is back.
He wants to step forward and envelope the man in a hug so tight he can never get out of.
But instead, he does not move.
Jaejoong tilts his head back wonderingly as Yunho does not seem too inclined to move away to let him cross the threshold of their house. So he steps back, eyes darting around the front of the house instead.
“Why isn’t there a gate?”
“A gate?”
“A fence. To go around the property.”
“It’s a gated community, Jae. We don’t need a fence, but we can put one in if you want one. Did you want to get a pet? I have lots of photos of you with cats as I packed your room the other night.”
“Cats hate me,” Jaejoong sighs, remembering one in particular.
“All those cats in those photos hate you?”
“Remember the one you sent me? That damn pus-“ Jaejoong stops at the sudden smirk on Yunho’s face and he feels his cheeks warm under the gaze. “That damn kitten bit me after that photo was taken.”
“A dog then?”
“No… no dog. But a fence would be good. How long would it take?”
If Yunho thinks the conversation highly weird, he gives no indication as he considers the man’s question seriously.
“I don’t know, but I can call the builder tomorrow morning. I’m sure we can have it up in a few days.”
“Two days.”
Yunho chuckles then, shaking his head at the beautiful man he has not seen in almost four weeks. “Alright, two days.”
“Was that too demanding?”
“Not at all.”
“Why do you want a fence up so soon anyway? Your fans won’t be able to get in here.”
Jaejoong takes another step back, crossing his arms low across his belly.
“Remember what I said that first night in your bath tub?”
Yunho’s eyes warm at the memory as he follows Jaejoong out.
“Yes, mostly. Was it something specific? I remember some zig zag dot connecting…”
Jaejoong’s smile reaches his eyes but it wavers on the edges, and Yunho can tell the older man is nervous. There is a slight chill in the spring air, though he really does not feel it. He keeps walking with Jaejoong, and his eyes land on the car and he stops short, eyeing his boyfriend a little incredulously.
“Did you change your mind about the matching R8s?” his voice is teasing, mild and loving. He can feel Jaejoong’s skittishness and he does not want the man to bolt.
“This was more practical,” Jaejoong whispers as he opens the back door. “I can give you babies…”
Yunho hears his words, his brain working hard to catch up as he stares at the beautiful girl blinking sleepily at him from her car seat. She seems satisfied with whatever she sees, secure enough to drop off back to sleep as Yunho gapes at her.
“Take her. She won’t cry. I’ll take her brother.”
“Her brother?” Yunho steps forward even as he asks, peering into the darkness to find another baby seat, with an actual baby in it, all swaddled to his chin and sound asleep.
“Jae…”
“It’s cold out here, Yunho, please. We can talk inside. Just unbuckle her and carry her.”
Yunho moves immediately, the word “cold” galvanising him into action. He makes quick work of her buckles, and she stirs again, pouting sleepily as he lifts her into his arms, but as Jaejoong promised, she does not cry.
The little girl is warm in his arms, and he feels her touch deep in his soul. As he walks the short few steps up to the front door and into the house, Yunho finds that he is loathe to let her go. The toddler sleeping so trustingly and peacefully in his arms has managed to worm her way into his heart with a her sleepy sounds and the way her body curls perfectly against his, her face tucked against his throat.
It also does not help that he’s spent a good few hours staring at Jaejoong’s likeness as a child, while packing his countless boxes of photographs. That little girl’s mouth is his boyfriend’s mouth. Jaejoong definitely has some explaining to do.
He places the girl down gently on the large sofa, sitting down next to her, carding his fingers through her impossibly soft hair.
Yunho watches as Jaejoong lays the sleeping baby boy down as well, the rock star making sure he is secure before he moves to sit in the armchair across from them.
Yunho drags his eyes from the children, turning towards his boyfriend.
“Start from the top.”
“I know I’m manipulative.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t know if I wouldn’t do the same in your position. You are definitely right about it being easier to explain in person though,” Yunho’s mouth quirks ruefully as he eyes the dozing children on his couch.
Their couch.
Jaejoong shakes his head. “Don’t make excuses for me. Nothing I did was selfless. I knew there was no way in hell I could do this on my own. I didn’t even fucking believe it when I got the call. And not even the second, third, or fourth call helped. I think I was in denial. It took two days for it to sink in, and that’s when I called you.”
“I remember.”
“I put my apartment up for sale then. Remember how I wanted to keep it? Even before this news, I was actually in two minds on whether to keep it or not. But when I got the news, I spent whatever spare moment I had away from you packing up my apartment because I knew there was no way I could keep it. I had wanted to keep it as insurance, but insurance for what? For if our relationship failed? I needed to have more faith. And since finding out about the children, I guess in the back of my mind was the thought that if you knew I didn’t have a home anymore, you’d let me stay.”
Yunho stands up quickly, pulling whatever cushions he can see to lay it on the floor by where the two children are sleeping peacefully, before he moves to haul Jaejoong to his feet, taking his place in the armchair and tugging the visibly upset singer onto his lap.
Jaejoong opens his mouth to protest, but Yunho places two fingers over his lips and shakes his head.
“Give yourself more credit than that, Jae. Give me more credit too. Before you continue on your self-deprecating turn, I want to tell you something.”
Jaejoong nods, his eyes large and slowly filling with tears. He misses Yunho so much. This is their first touch in almost four weeks, and Yunho is holding him so gently, it makes him feel so unworthy.
“I didn’t know if you were coming back. For the first two days, I was half convinced you weren’t coming back. And the only reason I finally came up with for you leaving me without explanation is a death. And then you called.”
Out of habit, Jaejoong looks over the children. Satisfied that they will be ok for a few minutes at least, he snuggles against the side of Yunho’s head, nuzzling his ear as his first tear escapes. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid. The lawyer had been adamant that I speak to no one about it because Jessica’s instructions were explicit. And Krystal…dear god Krystal.”
“Who is Krystal?”
“Jessica’s baby sister. She was in the accident too, but she survived. I was at the hospital with her every day and she kept telling me over and over and over again that the baby is mine, and that I cannot tell anyone otherwise. She made me promise. Her injuries were extensive and she kept slipping in and out of consciousness, but whenever she was conscious, she’d babble about how Hyuna is mine. Several times, she said it in the presence of the two lawyers. And then…”
“And?” Yunho asks quietly, but he knows the answer even as he asks it, his arms tightening even more around Jaejoong as he strokes whatever his hands can reach.
“She passed away. She didn’t survive her injuries… I was there and her last breath was telling me to look after my baby girl. Jessica’s baby girl.”
“I’m so sorry, Jae…”
“I didn’t know her…not well…but it was awful. I wished so much you were there. Wished so hard. And as I wished it, my phone went off with an email telling me my apartment was sold.”
“Perhaps someone heard you.”
“Perhaps…”
“I hate to ask this because I thought Jessica was just a sister to you? Did you sleep with her?”
“No. The baby isn’t biologically mine. She’s Seunghyun’s.”
Yunho swallows his expletives, as he turns to look at the sleeping toddler. His eyes roam her small perfect face, the little furrow in her brow as she rubs her nose. Her pouty mouth that has an uncanny resemblance to Jaejoong’s own lips. He can see nothing of his bastard ex boyfriend in the little girl’s features.
“She looks nothing like him,” he whispers as he tightens his arms yet again around his boyfriend.
“She looks like Jessica. She really does. And I don’t know if I’m just seeing things because I want to see them, but she does sort of look like me.” Jaejoong’s voice is filled with wonderment as he gazes at the pretty little girl. “And she calls me daddy…”
Yunho coaxes Jaejoong away from his cheek, looking at the glistening eyes of the beautiful man. “You are her daddy.”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “You don’t understand. She knew who I was when she saw me. Jessica had shown her photos of me. When I pointed out the photo of Junho and Jessica to her on their wedding day and asked her who he was, she said he’s her uncle.”
“What’s going on?”
“Jessica never said a word to me all these years. In fact, she never even returned my calls though I could have tried harder to get hold of her. She left a letter for me that I had to burn in front of the lawyer after reading.”
“What did it say?”
“My memory is excellent but not as good as yours. I’ll try and remember.”
Jaejoong closes his eyes, his furrowed brow identical to the sleeping toddler’s, and as Yunho stares back and forth between them, more similarities come to light. A fond smile is playing about his lips as he watches father and daughter.
”Oppa, if you’re reading this it means something happened to me. I don’t know what the circumstances are but I pray that God forgives me for being such a terrible mother. Since the day Hyuna was born, I was unable to feel any attachment with her at all. I tried, oppa. I really tried. I cried myself to sleep every night wanting desperately to love my new baby girl. But something inside me died with what Seunghyun did and I don’t want to have anything to do with him. I don’t want my daughter to have anything to do with him either. I’m sorry I ran, but I couldn’t face you either. But believe it or not, it was your face that kept me going. I remembered your kindness to me. How you always had time to listen despite your busy schedule and you never treated me like I was dirt even though you were this huge superstar that everyone practically worshipped. I remember how you let me into your home and cooked me dinners, telling me your stories from when you were a rookie. You let me in, oppa, and that is the only memory I have of my time in the industry. Even now, three years later, I have never met someone as kind as you. Hyuna is yours. She may not be biologically yours, but she is yours. I raised her in your image, and till I met Junho, I thought I would forever live in a dream I made up. She only knows you as her father, no one else. I promised my little girl that you would come for her one day. Such a cruel thing for a mother to tell her child when it is something I couldn’t guarantee. But it was the least I could do for her. I couldn’t love her, but she could feel my love for you, and I gave that to her. But no matter how much I could not love her, I would rather die than have Seunghyun get his hands on her. Keep her safe, oppa. She is your daughter…”
Jaejoong opens his eyes as his voice trails off, aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. He blinks till his vision clears, and he can see Yunho’s soft gaze on him. He feels the large hand cupping his cheek and stroking away at the tears that are still falling.
“Jessica loved her daughter very much, no matter what she said.” Yunho murmurs softly, thumbing Jaejoong’s cheekbone gently.
Jaejoong, having needed to be strong all by himself for weeks, succumbs to the comfort his young boyfriend is giving him as he buries his face against his throat, sobbing his heartbreak for the idealistic girl who had her world shattered, that he considered a sister.
Yunho lets him cry, keeping one eye on the children as he strokes at Jaejoong’s hair. With his free hand, he digs into his pocket, pulling out the small box and holding it on his open palm, resting lightly in Jaejoong’s lap, waiting for the man to notice.
He bought this the day after Jaejoong’s phone call. Yes, he falls in love quickly, but he has never wanted to marry any of his exes. The thought never even crossed his mind with any of them. But with Jaejoong, he finds himself thinking of their future years and years ahead. Fanciful daydreaming most of the time, but always grounded in some sort of reality. His work, Jaejoong’s work. The compromises they will need to make, and how to balance it all out.
It played around in his mind so much that in the weeks leading up to Jaejoong’s sudden departure, he had to make a conscious effort not to blurt out those fateful four words that will probably change his life forever.
And then Jaejoong left, spinning him completely off his axis, and the confusion and uncertainty comes back. He blamed the man for being selfish, and for not understanding that they are a unit. How can their relationship survive if one keeps running away?
But then Jaejoong called. And his reason was more valid than anything Yunho could have excused him for.
He missed the man immensely, but he also decided to take Junsu’s advice, giving the man his space. The physical space is a given, but also the emotional space. He made sure Jaejoong knows that he will be there, but other than that, he did not push. And even though between the phone call and the email two mornings ago, there was not much in the way of any form of interaction, Yunho’s uncertainty with Jaejoong never came back.
And now he is back where he belongs, sniffling in Yunho’s lap, a tentative hand picking up the box from Yunho’s waiting palm.
“W-wh-what is this?”
“Something I bought the morning after your phone call over three weeks ago.”
“Wh-what?”
“You’re not manipulative, Jae. No matter what you think. You were trying to protect them. Yes, you were scared, but you could have gone to your parents. They would have been more than happy to help you. But you turned to me. Your mind automatically thought of me, didn’t it?”
“I couldn’t imagine doing this without you…” Jaejoong whispers hoarsely as more tears clog his throat. “Every night I told Hyuna about you as I put her to bed. She wants her “appa” to teach her how to skate.”
“Appa huh?”
“Her Korean is non-existent. Abysmal at best. Jessica always had that problem which is why they worked her so hard when she was a trainee.”
“What other Korean words did you teach her?”
“She can say saranghae with her arms.”
“Oh, Jae.” Yunho chuckles, capturing a stray tear from his wet cheek with his lips, tasting the salty evidence of his boyfriend’s vast capacity to love.
“She’s also started calling her brother dongsaeng but her pronunciation is shocking and it sounds more like dancing.”
“Good thing our English is good then, huh?” Yunho teases as he nuzzles the older man affectionately.
“She is hopeless. But she is so perfect. Isn’t she perfect?” Jaejoong asks with shining eyes as he turns back to the sleeping children.
“Absolutely perfect, just like her daddy.”
“Jongdae is too young to know any better.”
“How old is he?”
“Six months. That’s why it took longer than expected. All the hoops I had to jump through to make his adoption official, especially since I stated that I was in a same-sex relationship. No one asked for any paternity tests for Hyuna. It seemed to be accepted as fact that I’m her father, but apparently if you’re gay, you get to sign twice as much paperwork. I’m pretty sure I know more legal terms in English than I do in Korean.”
“Did you make sure the paperwork is ironclad for Hyuna as well? Just in case?” Yunho’s tone is worried as his thoughts briefly flit over to Seunghyun.
“Yes. And you have a fuck load of things to sign as well. We have to go and see my lawyer tomorrow. Or yours. Whichever you prefer.”
“What?”
Jaejoong takes a deep breath, gazing into the widened eyes of his boyfriend. He has almost forgotten the small jewellery box in his hand.
Almost.
He squeezes it to give him strength as he whispers softly. “I wanted joint custody. You don’t have to do it. It automatically reverts to just me if you don’t sign the papers within a month. I can do this. I can do it by myself…but-“ Jaejoong’s voice cracks as he stifles a sob. “But I love you. I’ve brought you so much turmoil and now I’m adding more. I can do this enough for both of us. I have enough money that I don’t need to work. I can look after them, you don’t have to if you don’t want to…I don’t want to lose you, Yunho. I’ll do anything.”
“Jae…” Yunho kisses his panicking boyfriend on the cheek. “Open the damn box before you start hyperventilating.”
Jaejoong’s hands are shaking as he opens the lid of the box.
Cartier’s LOVE ring stares back at him, set in platinum, and he picks it out of the box gingerly.
“What is this?” His voice is hushed, trying to suppress the hope.
“I need to ask you something. I’ve been wanting to ask you this even before you left, and now that you’ve come back, with all your news, my question has not changed.
“What…?” Jaejoong whispers.
“Will you marry me?”
AN1: Probably at least two months ago on Twitter I mentioned how ICE would probably have a lot of drabbles and one shots… now you know why.
AN2: Also I’ve decided to finish this before writing anything else including AINI. I did try writing AINI but Yunho muse was being a sulking prat and I really couldn’t deal with his shit so this got updated instead.
AN3: This is a shout-out to my Doctor Reader’s female interns who’ve had to put up with their male colleagues hooking up thanks to this fic. They loved the romance, and so this chapter is dedicated to them because their attending always makes me smile when she tells me about her interns, making me miss my own.
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance, mild angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here
Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…
AN1: Thank @bornfreeonekiss for the selcas and the fact that he made me write more so I had to split this chapter ugh...
AN2: Banner made by taigrin on LJ ;-)
Yunho does not bother texting, ringing his boyfriend instead as he ascends the stairs. He does not really expect the man to answer, but he can always hope.
True enough, his called is not picked up. Before he can hit redial, he gets a message.
MERONG!
Yunho makes a strangled sound, between a laugh and a cry. He is choking on something between the two opposite emotions. Only Jaejoong.
Only his Jaejoong.
He barely manages to type out a quick reply before going back to staring at the photo of his beautiful boyfriend, almost walking straight into the closed door of his bedroom.
Why are you like this? You’re killing me here.
Jaejoong grins, feeling a little lighthearted as he takes another selca, sending it quickly.
Because I love you? What do you think of my “Yunho-view” angle?
Yunho growls.
He actually growls as he types his reply, alternating between licking and chewing his full bottom lip, while trying to maneuver himself into the bedroom and locking the door.
That view is ALWAYS “Yunho-view”. It better be no one else’s view ever…
Are you going neanderthal on me? ;-)
How are you real?
Jaejoong’s grin dies slowly. He can feel the ache in Yunho’s simple text message. His boyfriend has asked him this before, months ago. The sweet, shy, a little awkward captain of the ice hockey team.
The sledgehammer of emotions makes Jaejoong gasp out loud.
Instead of replying, he dials his number.
The call barely makes it to two rings before it is answered, and Jaejoong’s husky voice is like heaven to Yunho’s ears.
“Yunho?”
“Hey…” Yunho’s voice is almost a whisper as he leans against Jaejoong’s door and sliding down to the floor. “…I’ve missed you.”
“I miss you too, baby.”
“Your room still smells like you.”
“How is that possible?”
“I accidentally dropped your Missha cologne and it shattered so the room smells rather overpoweringly of you.”
Jaejoong chuckles quietly, stretching on the bed, arching off it to get all the kinks out of his back. It is just past 6am, and he has not had much sleep, but hearing Yunho is making every pain worth it. He misses him so much it physically hurts.
“Will you buy me another?”
“I’ll buy you whatever you want.”
“What if I want the sun?”
“You are the sun.”
“You have such a sweet mouth.”
“I like vanilla ice cream.”
Jaejoong has to stifle his snort then, mindful of the room’s other occupants. He will never cease to find how amazing it is for them to just fall back into their normal easy banter. He had been worried about awkwardness between them which is why he did not answer Yunho’s call, but a couple of quick text messages, and he knows Yunho is still his and he is Yunho’s.
It is just like when they first “met”, there really is no awkwardness to be had.
“How’s the packing?” Jaejoong decides to turn the conversation to something less dangerous.
“You have a lot of photos. Seriously. I’m drowning in them. There’s a boxful from your group days and did they think you were a girl or what? Long hair? Midriff baring clothes? Everyone else is normal and then there’s you…” Yunho chuckles quietly as he flicks through the box in question. Jaejoong is stunning regardless, everyone else paling in comparison, but then he really is biased. “Want me to send you one?”
“Oh god,” Jaejoong groans, but his curiosity is piqued. “Fine, send me one.”
Yunho grins as he pushes himself off the floor with a loud grunt. He gets an answering hum which makes his smile broaden as he heads quickly to the box of photographs, pulling out the first one he sees and taking a quick shot of it.
“Alright sending it now, hold on.”
He sends it in a message and waits. Jaejoong’s distressed whine makes him crack up.
“Great. I need a box of what not to wear. Can you believe it?
“I thought you were very pretty.”
“Of course you would.”
“You’re saying I’m lying?”
“I know you’re not but augh!” Jaejoong makes an impatient sound as he waves his arm. “Anything else?”
“Hang on.”
Yunho snaps another photo and sends it quickly.
“What the hell, Yunho?”
“You tell me… you like pussy that much?” Yunho’s tone is vastly amused as he picks up the photograph to stare at it a little closer.
“Fuck. Yunho your mouth needs to be punished. I refuse to walk around with blue balls. Shut up!” Jaejoong hisses, pulling the covers over his head as he hunches down in his bed, as if that is going to help somehow.
“Me talking about pussy is giving you blue balls? I think we have a problem…oppa.” Yunho’s smirk can be heard loud and clear over the phone despite the thousands upon thousands of miles separating them.
Jaejoong is actually gritting his teeth as he clutches his phone to his ear. “Not the fucking time and place. Yunho how did we go from not talking for three weeks to this?” The rockstar laments, desperate to pour ice over his overheated body.
“I don’t know,” Yunho answers seriously. “You tell me.”
“Can we talk about something mundane please?”
“Alright, fine. How about this?”
Yunho quickly sends a photo he took earlier.
“Oh my god this is so wrong.”
Yunho’s brow furrows at the strange exclamation. He takes a look at the photo he sent, and he sees nothing wrong with it.
“What’s wrong?”
“You! You! I have blue balls and you sent me a photo of me with…with…” Jaejoong is completely nonplussed. His boyfriend is so weird.
“You wanted to talk about something mundane!” Yunho returns a little defensively.
“Oh god,” Jaejoong groans, hitting his phone on his head. “I meant talk about…I don’t know. Packing?”
“I wanted to tease you about your hair.”
“What about my hair?”
“I like it like that…”
“Yunho…this is so not helping.”
“Would you rather I talk about… the pussy cat? That’s why you’re groaning isn’t it?”
“Goddamn it, Yunho. I’ve spent almost four weeks remembering the last time we were together. I do not fucking care about fucking pussy.” Jaejoong hisses almost hysterically. He peeks over the covers to check if the coast is clear, and he exhales loudly when he finds that it is. He pulls the covers back over his head and moans. “Yunho, please. I really can’t right now.”
“Calm down, babe. You’re too easily unwound.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“Touché. But it still isn’t my fault you see innuendo in everything. That photo with the pus-“ Yunho pauses, changing his mind about the word. “Cat. With the cat was totally innocent! I have a couple more of you with different cats on my phone.”
“You are so fucking weird.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Indeed.” Jaejoong agrees. "Ok, please. Yunho for the love of everything unholy, let’s talk about packing.”
“Ok, fine. Let’s talk about clothes. A great deal of clothes in suitcases at the back of your closet. Do you want me to repack them or just bring the suitcases? I think there are some toys as well. I don’t think they’re mouldy but I can check.”
Jaejoong stretches again, pushing the covers off, grunting softly into the phone as he sits up and gets out of bed.
“More noises like that and I’m getting into your bed, Jae.”
“You’re too easily riled up.” Jaejoong teases as he stares at his reflection. He is going home soon. Tomorrow in fact. He had a long day yesterday, but today is a new day. He will spend the entire day packing more than likely, and then he will be home tomorrow.
Home.
“Only you can do it. I miss you.” Yunho starts pacing the room as he changes the subject quickly. “The house is almost ready. I went ahead and bought whatever it is we decided on before you left. Whatever is undecided, I’ve left so the upstairs bedrooms are all still up in the air. Only our bedroom is done, plus the study and music room. That leaves three empty rooms for you to do what you want with them.”
“For us to do what we want with them,” Jaejoong corrects softly.
“For me to argue with you about what you want to do with them and then give in to you anyway,” Yunho smiles.
“Am I that bad?”
“More often than not.”
“I like that you’re not afraid to tell me the truth.”
“And I like that you can handle the truth.”
“Only from you. Everyone else can go fuck a pogo stick.”
“Oh, Jae.”
“I miss you.”
“I know… I miss you too. Come home soon.”
“I will. I have to go, baby.”
“Think of me.”
“Always.”
~~~
Yunho is watching the news with half an ear. It is the entertainment section, and they are commenting about how Hero Jaejoong’s charity single has been the number one single in both Japan and South Korea for three weeks running, despite the fact that the star himself has vanished off the face of the planet. Nobody knows where he is, and everyone is speculating that he is currently holed up in a studio completing his new album.
“Shows how much they know,” Yunho mutters to himself as he fondles the box in his pants pocket. He has just returned from his run around the neighbourhood, and is currently cooling down before having a shower. He cannot be more happy with what he sees of the area that his parents have chosen. The gated community is exceedingly secure, and despite some stray Hero Jaejoong fans camped outside the guard room, none have tried to enter. Half the estate is still unoccupied, people moving in weekly. Their own neighbours are still scarce, with only three out of the seven homes on their street occupied.
Yunho enjoys the quiet and solitude, which makes the ringing doorbell extra startling when he hears it.
-
Jaejoong follows Yunho as he jogs back to their house, the yearning pang he feels as he watches the young man doing an every day routine exercise manifests itself physically in a sharp pain in his belly. He drives at a fair distant, with his headlights off. The guard had recognised him immediately, and had been more than happy to wave him discreetly through, though not before giving him a security decal so that he has no need to roll down his tinted windows again. He noticed the fans but they do not notice him, probably thanks to the car he is currently driving.
Nothing flashy for Kim Jaejoong tonight.
He is parked in their driveway, trying to work up the courage to get out of the car. The whole journey has been uneventful, Jaejoong managing to travel incognito, in part thanks to the favour owed to him by a well-known friend in America who had lent him his private jet for the trip back home. No one apart from one airport groundstaff who is married to one of the accountants at Jung Group knows he is back, and she had been more than happy to promise secrecy.
According to her, Jihye’s warning at the cocktail reception had managed to get out, as she cheerfully verified his re-entry into South Korea. No one would dare mess with Hero Jaejoong for fear of the retribution of not just the star himself but the entire might of Jung Group. And as she says, no one is surely stupid enough to do that, least of all her.
It reassures him somewhat, but the apprehension gnawing in his gut cannot be ignored. He could probably sit in the car all night if he had not heard the stirring.
He exits the car quickly and as quietly as possible, jogging the short distance to the front door. It takes several tries, but he finally manages to press the door bell. It seems a little weird needing to press the doorbell when he knows the code to enter the house, but he does not want to be too presumptuous.
He almost laughs at himself then.
Presumptuous?
He is so past that and beyond to even worry about it anymore.
The door opens suddenly, and he steps back, blinking at the sudden brightness of the hallway light as he sees Yunho’s tall silhouette. He blinks rapidly to adjust to the light change, and notices that Yunho has lost his jacket, and is now dressed simply in a white wifebeater and loose trackpants.
Yunho simply stands there, not quite believing his eyes.
Jaejoong is back.
He wants to step forward and envelope the man in a hug so tight he can never get out of.
But instead, he does not move.
Jaejoong tilts his head back wonderingly as Yunho does not seem too inclined to move away to let him cross the threshold of their house. So he steps back, eyes darting around the front of the house instead.
“Why isn’t there a gate?”
“A gate?”
“A fence. To go around the property.”
“It’s a gated community, Jae. We don’t need a fence, but we can put one in if you want one. Did you want to get a pet? I have lots of photos of you with cats as I packed your room the other night.”
“Cats hate me,” Jaejoong sighs, remembering one in particular.
“All those cats in those photos hate you?”
“Remember the one you sent me? That damn pus-“ Jaejoong stops at the sudden smirk on Yunho’s face and he feels his cheeks warm under the gaze. “That damn kitten bit me after that photo was taken.”
“A dog then?”
“No… no dog. But a fence would be good. How long would it take?”
If Yunho thinks the conversation highly weird, he gives no indication as he considers the man’s question seriously.
“I don’t know, but I can call the builder tomorrow morning. I’m sure we can have it up in a few days.”
“Two days.”
Yunho chuckles then, shaking his head at the beautiful man he has not seen in almost four weeks. “Alright, two days.”
“Was that too demanding?”
“Not at all.”
“Why do you want a fence up so soon anyway? Your fans won’t be able to get in here.”
Jaejoong takes another step back, crossing his arms low across his belly.
“Remember what I said that first night in your bath tub?”
Yunho’s eyes warm at the memory as he follows Jaejoong out.
“Yes, mostly. Was it something specific? I remember some zig zag dot connecting…”
Jaejoong’s smile reaches his eyes but it wavers on the edges, and Yunho can tell the older man is nervous. There is a slight chill in the spring air, though he really does not feel it. He keeps walking with Jaejoong, and his eyes land on the car and he stops short, eyeing his boyfriend a little incredulously.
“Did you change your mind about the matching R8s?” his voice is teasing, mild and loving. He can feel Jaejoong’s skittishness and he does not want the man to bolt.
“This was more practical,” Jaejoong whispers as he opens the back door. “I can give you babies…”
Yunho hears his words, his brain working hard to catch up as he stares at the beautiful girl blinking sleepily at him from her car seat. She seems satisfied with whatever she sees, secure enough to drop off back to sleep as Yunho gapes at her.
“Take her. She won’t cry. I’ll take her brother.”
“Her brother?” Yunho steps forward even as he asks, peering into the darkness to find another baby seat, with an actual baby in it, all swaddled to his chin and sound asleep.
“Jae…”
“It’s cold out here, Yunho, please. We can talk inside. Just unbuckle her and carry her.”
Yunho moves immediately, the word “cold” galvanising him into action. He makes quick work of her buckles, and she stirs again, pouting sleepily as he lifts her into his arms, but as Jaejoong promised, she does not cry.
The little girl is warm in his arms, and he feels her touch deep in his soul. As he walks the short few steps up to the front door and into the house, Yunho finds that he is loathe to let her go. The toddler sleeping so trustingly and peacefully in his arms has managed to worm her way into his heart with a her sleepy sounds and the way her body curls perfectly against his, her face tucked against his throat.
It also does not help that he’s spent a good few hours staring at Jaejoong’s likeness as a child, while packing his countless boxes of photographs. That little girl’s mouth is his boyfriend’s mouth. Jaejoong definitely has some explaining to do.
He places the girl down gently on the large sofa, sitting down next to her, carding his fingers through her impossibly soft hair.
Yunho watches as Jaejoong lays the sleeping baby boy down as well, the rock star making sure he is secure before he moves to sit in the armchair across from them.
Yunho drags his eyes from the children, turning towards his boyfriend.
“Start from the top.”
“I know I’m manipulative.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t know if I wouldn’t do the same in your position. You are definitely right about it being easier to explain in person though,” Yunho’s mouth quirks ruefully as he eyes the dozing children on his couch.
Their couch.
Jaejoong shakes his head. “Don’t make excuses for me. Nothing I did was selfless. I knew there was no way in hell I could do this on my own. I didn’t even fucking believe it when I got the call. And not even the second, third, or fourth call helped. I think I was in denial. It took two days for it to sink in, and that’s when I called you.”
“I remember.”
“I put my apartment up for sale then. Remember how I wanted to keep it? Even before this news, I was actually in two minds on whether to keep it or not. But when I got the news, I spent whatever spare moment I had away from you packing up my apartment because I knew there was no way I could keep it. I had wanted to keep it as insurance, but insurance for what? For if our relationship failed? I needed to have more faith. And since finding out about the children, I guess in the back of my mind was the thought that if you knew I didn’t have a home anymore, you’d let me stay.”
Yunho stands up quickly, pulling whatever cushions he can see to lay it on the floor by where the two children are sleeping peacefully, before he moves to haul Jaejoong to his feet, taking his place in the armchair and tugging the visibly upset singer onto his lap.
Jaejoong opens his mouth to protest, but Yunho places two fingers over his lips and shakes his head.
“Give yourself more credit than that, Jae. Give me more credit too. Before you continue on your self-deprecating turn, I want to tell you something.”
Jaejoong nods, his eyes large and slowly filling with tears. He misses Yunho so much. This is their first touch in almost four weeks, and Yunho is holding him so gently, it makes him feel so unworthy.
“I didn’t know if you were coming back. For the first two days, I was half convinced you weren’t coming back. And the only reason I finally came up with for you leaving me without explanation is a death. And then you called.”
Out of habit, Jaejoong looks over the children. Satisfied that they will be ok for a few minutes at least, he snuggles against the side of Yunho’s head, nuzzling his ear as his first tear escapes. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid. The lawyer had been adamant that I speak to no one about it because Jessica’s instructions were explicit. And Krystal…dear god Krystal.”
“Who is Krystal?”
“Jessica’s baby sister. She was in the accident too, but she survived. I was at the hospital with her every day and she kept telling me over and over and over again that the baby is mine, and that I cannot tell anyone otherwise. She made me promise. Her injuries were extensive and she kept slipping in and out of consciousness, but whenever she was conscious, she’d babble about how Hyuna is mine. Several times, she said it in the presence of the two lawyers. And then…”
“And?” Yunho asks quietly, but he knows the answer even as he asks it, his arms tightening even more around Jaejoong as he strokes whatever his hands can reach.
“She passed away. She didn’t survive her injuries… I was there and her last breath was telling me to look after my baby girl. Jessica’s baby girl.”
“I’m so sorry, Jae…”
“I didn’t know her…not well…but it was awful. I wished so much you were there. Wished so hard. And as I wished it, my phone went off with an email telling me my apartment was sold.”
“Perhaps someone heard you.”
“Perhaps…”
“I hate to ask this because I thought Jessica was just a sister to you? Did you sleep with her?”
“No. The baby isn’t biologically mine. She’s Seunghyun’s.”
Yunho swallows his expletives, as he turns to look at the sleeping toddler. His eyes roam her small perfect face, the little furrow in her brow as she rubs her nose. Her pouty mouth that has an uncanny resemblance to Jaejoong’s own lips. He can see nothing of his bastard ex boyfriend in the little girl’s features.
“She looks nothing like him,” he whispers as he tightens his arms yet again around his boyfriend.
“She looks like Jessica. She really does. And I don’t know if I’m just seeing things because I want to see them, but she does sort of look like me.” Jaejoong’s voice is filled with wonderment as he gazes at the pretty little girl. “And she calls me daddy…”
Yunho coaxes Jaejoong away from his cheek, looking at the glistening eyes of the beautiful man. “You are her daddy.”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “You don’t understand. She knew who I was when she saw me. Jessica had shown her photos of me. When I pointed out the photo of Junho and Jessica to her on their wedding day and asked her who he was, she said he’s her uncle.”
“What’s going on?”
“Jessica never said a word to me all these years. In fact, she never even returned my calls though I could have tried harder to get hold of her. She left a letter for me that I had to burn in front of the lawyer after reading.”
“What did it say?”
“My memory is excellent but not as good as yours. I’ll try and remember.”
Jaejoong closes his eyes, his furrowed brow identical to the sleeping toddler’s, and as Yunho stares back and forth between them, more similarities come to light. A fond smile is playing about his lips as he watches father and daughter.
”Oppa, if you’re reading this it means something happened to me. I don’t know what the circumstances are but I pray that God forgives me for being such a terrible mother. Since the day Hyuna was born, I was unable to feel any attachment with her at all. I tried, oppa. I really tried. I cried myself to sleep every night wanting desperately to love my new baby girl. But something inside me died with what Seunghyun did and I don’t want to have anything to do with him. I don’t want my daughter to have anything to do with him either. I’m sorry I ran, but I couldn’t face you either. But believe it or not, it was your face that kept me going. I remembered your kindness to me. How you always had time to listen despite your busy schedule and you never treated me like I was dirt even though you were this huge superstar that everyone practically worshipped. I remember how you let me into your home and cooked me dinners, telling me your stories from when you were a rookie. You let me in, oppa, and that is the only memory I have of my time in the industry. Even now, three years later, I have never met someone as kind as you. Hyuna is yours. She may not be biologically yours, but she is yours. I raised her in your image, and till I met Junho, I thought I would forever live in a dream I made up. She only knows you as her father, no one else. I promised my little girl that you would come for her one day. Such a cruel thing for a mother to tell her child when it is something I couldn’t guarantee. But it was the least I could do for her. I couldn’t love her, but she could feel my love for you, and I gave that to her. But no matter how much I could not love her, I would rather die than have Seunghyun get his hands on her. Keep her safe, oppa. She is your daughter…”
Jaejoong opens his eyes as his voice trails off, aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. He blinks till his vision clears, and he can see Yunho’s soft gaze on him. He feels the large hand cupping his cheek and stroking away at the tears that are still falling.
“Jessica loved her daughter very much, no matter what she said.” Yunho murmurs softly, thumbing Jaejoong’s cheekbone gently.
Jaejoong, having needed to be strong all by himself for weeks, succumbs to the comfort his young boyfriend is giving him as he buries his face against his throat, sobbing his heartbreak for the idealistic girl who had her world shattered, that he considered a sister.
Yunho lets him cry, keeping one eye on the children as he strokes at Jaejoong’s hair. With his free hand, he digs into his pocket, pulling out the small box and holding it on his open palm, resting lightly in Jaejoong’s lap, waiting for the man to notice.
He bought this the day after Jaejoong’s phone call. Yes, he falls in love quickly, but he has never wanted to marry any of his exes. The thought never even crossed his mind with any of them. But with Jaejoong, he finds himself thinking of their future years and years ahead. Fanciful daydreaming most of the time, but always grounded in some sort of reality. His work, Jaejoong’s work. The compromises they will need to make, and how to balance it all out.
It played around in his mind so much that in the weeks leading up to Jaejoong’s sudden departure, he had to make a conscious effort not to blurt out those fateful four words that will probably change his life forever.
And then Jaejoong left, spinning him completely off his axis, and the confusion and uncertainty comes back. He blamed the man for being selfish, and for not understanding that they are a unit. How can their relationship survive if one keeps running away?
But then Jaejoong called. And his reason was more valid than anything Yunho could have excused him for.
He missed the man immensely, but he also decided to take Junsu’s advice, giving the man his space. The physical space is a given, but also the emotional space. He made sure Jaejoong knows that he will be there, but other than that, he did not push. And even though between the phone call and the email two mornings ago, there was not much in the way of any form of interaction, Yunho’s uncertainty with Jaejoong never came back.
And now he is back where he belongs, sniffling in Yunho’s lap, a tentative hand picking up the box from Yunho’s waiting palm.
“W-wh-what is this?”
“Something I bought the morning after your phone call over three weeks ago.”
“Wh-what?”
“You’re not manipulative, Jae. No matter what you think. You were trying to protect them. Yes, you were scared, but you could have gone to your parents. They would have been more than happy to help you. But you turned to me. Your mind automatically thought of me, didn’t it?”
“I couldn’t imagine doing this without you…” Jaejoong whispers hoarsely as more tears clog his throat. “Every night I told Hyuna about you as I put her to bed. She wants her “appa” to teach her how to skate.”
“Appa huh?”
“Her Korean is non-existent. Abysmal at best. Jessica always had that problem which is why they worked her so hard when she was a trainee.”
“What other Korean words did you teach her?”
“She can say saranghae with her arms.”
“Oh, Jae.” Yunho chuckles, capturing a stray tear from his wet cheek with his lips, tasting the salty evidence of his boyfriend’s vast capacity to love.
“She’s also started calling her brother dongsaeng but her pronunciation is shocking and it sounds more like dancing.”
“Good thing our English is good then, huh?” Yunho teases as he nuzzles the older man affectionately.
“She is hopeless. But she is so perfect. Isn’t she perfect?” Jaejoong asks with shining eyes as he turns back to the sleeping children.
“Absolutely perfect, just like her daddy.”
“Jongdae is too young to know any better.”
“How old is he?”
“Six months. That’s why it took longer than expected. All the hoops I had to jump through to make his adoption official, especially since I stated that I was in a same-sex relationship. No one asked for any paternity tests for Hyuna. It seemed to be accepted as fact that I’m her father, but apparently if you’re gay, you get to sign twice as much paperwork. I’m pretty sure I know more legal terms in English than I do in Korean.”
“Did you make sure the paperwork is ironclad for Hyuna as well? Just in case?” Yunho’s tone is worried as his thoughts briefly flit over to Seunghyun.
“Yes. And you have a fuck load of things to sign as well. We have to go and see my lawyer tomorrow. Or yours. Whichever you prefer.”
“What?”
Jaejoong takes a deep breath, gazing into the widened eyes of his boyfriend. He has almost forgotten the small jewellery box in his hand.
Almost.
He squeezes it to give him strength as he whispers softly. “I wanted joint custody. You don’t have to do it. It automatically reverts to just me if you don’t sign the papers within a month. I can do this. I can do it by myself…but-“ Jaejoong’s voice cracks as he stifles a sob. “But I love you. I’ve brought you so much turmoil and now I’m adding more. I can do this enough for both of us. I have enough money that I don’t need to work. I can look after them, you don’t have to if you don’t want to…I don’t want to lose you, Yunho. I’ll do anything.”
“Jae…” Yunho kisses his panicking boyfriend on the cheek. “Open the damn box before you start hyperventilating.”
Jaejoong’s hands are shaking as he opens the lid of the box.
Cartier’s LOVE ring stares back at him, set in platinum, and he picks it out of the box gingerly.
“What is this?” His voice is hushed, trying to suppress the hope.
“I need to ask you something. I’ve been wanting to ask you this even before you left, and now that you’ve come back, with all your news, my question has not changed.
“What…?” Jaejoong whispers.
“Will you marry me?”
AN1: Probably at least two months ago on Twitter I mentioned how ICE would probably have a lot of drabbles and one shots… now you know why.
AN2: Also I’ve decided to finish this before writing anything else including AINI. I did try writing AINI but Yunho muse was being a sulking prat and I really couldn’t deal with his shit so this got updated instead.
AN3: This is a shout-out to my Doctor Reader’s female interns who’ve had to put up with their male colleagues hooking up thanks to this fic. They loved the romance, and so this chapter is dedicated to them because their attending always makes me smile when she tells me about her interns, making me miss my own.