Ice [22b]

[beeswaxing]

Title: Ice
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC-17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance, mild angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here

Summary: Yunho knows ice very well. He is the youngest team captain in the history of the best professional hockey team in South Korea, bringing his teammates to glory time and time again. But a little something has been missing lately, a spark that everyone has grown to recognise from the young man. His teammates know exactly what’s wrong but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jaejoong is much too young to be this cynical and jaded. At least, that’s what his parents say, but what do they know? They love their only son and only want him to be happy despite not agreeing with his rock star lifestyle. When the 29 year old finds himself in rehab after a sort of accidental overdose, his tearful parents give him an ultimatum. Now he has to figure out what to do with the ball of ice that is his heart…

AN1: I wrote quite a bit of this at work... PLEASE FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

AN2: All credit to whoever made the edit included in this fic :O





The dam bursts as the screaming starts up again. Hero Jaejoong is smiling.

Actually smiling.

Beaming even as he listens to them. He has come a long way indeed, to give them this much of him. Standing before them is the cold, sneering rockstar with his steel capped boots and leather trench coat. But also standing before them is Kim Jaejoong.

And he is no longer afraid.

“So very naughty,” Jaejoong chides gently as he wags a finger at the audience, making them laugh. “All of you are so naughty.” His expression is unguarded, chuckling as he shakes his head.

Everyone laughs right along with him, surprised and relieved at his reaction.

“I was a little worried about the next song since it’s not something all of you are used to…” he trails off as the stadium protests loudly, making him chuckle again. “I know, I know. I know now I can be myself.”

The cheering starts up again, and it only increases as he shrugs off his trench coat, lips still pressed against the head of the microphone. He does not so much speak, as he drawls, his voice more of a husky whisper than anything else. The whisper of a lover to his beloved as he tosses his coat aside.

“One layer gone… what else do you want from me?”

Shouts of “More! More!” start echoing and that signature smirk is back.

“More?” He quirks an eyebrow, playing with the hem of his thin sweater. The neckline is so low the piercing in his left nipple is practically showing. But he distracts them by lifting the hem of his top, the black jewel in his belly button mocking them, as they get but a brief glimpse before it is once again out of sight.

A soft piano intro starts, and his smirk widens as he breathes into the microphone.

“I want to share…my lover with you.”

Neoege jugo sipeo… niga johahaneun aiseukeurim…
…hayanbanillakeurim

“Oh shit.”

“Do these people know what he’s singing? He’s not singing in Japanese.”

“Do you actually think they care?”

“Oh god…”

“He is fucking the microphone I swear.”

“I thought he only sings rock?”

“You heard the song everyone just sang him? That’s his song too,” Yoochun points out.

“Who the actual fuck cares? I have a fucking hard on and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Way too much fucking information, hyung,” Changmin growls disgustedly at Kangin on his left. Though really, his pants are feeling a little uncomfortably tight at the moment. Hero’s intro to the song really does not bode well. He knows Yunho is meant to perform with him tonight and if it is in this song, he is going to be hard pressed trying to explain to his girlfriend why there is a fucking tent in his pants.

“What is he doing…?” Han Geng asks, watching the singer caress the length of his microphone, the expression on his face is so wicked that without even knowing the lyrics, you can guess as to their suggestive content.

“He’s just breathing into the microphone… who the hell sings like this?”

Junsu grinds his ass back against his complaining boyfriend’s boner, leaning back, his mouth open against Yoochun’s jawline, making the older man groan.

“Do I even want to know what kiss b is? Or tp?”

“Brat. B is brat. I guess he means U-Know. As for tp…”

And so hot…
So cool…
So sweet…
Oh making in love…

“Fucking hell…”

“Jihye! Jihye!” Kangin tries to call the teenager, and she turns, her eyes wide, mouth slightly agape.

“What?”

“Is he always like this?”

She just nods, before taking her phone out, and aiming it at the stage. Kangin looks around, only to find pretty much everyone around him doing the same.

“What is she doing?”

“I don’t know… god, Su-ah stop fucking doing that unless you want me to fuck you right here.”

Junsu pauses long enough to sputter an embarrassed protest, and he tries to get up and move away, but Yoochun wraps his arms firmly around his boyfriend, his mouth against the back of his neck, whispering nonsensical sex words when the crowd suddenly goes absolutely wild.

And Changmin finds himself with a lapful of girlfriend trying to hide her face in his neck.

“Oppa…oh god oppa. I need brain bleach this is way too much.”

Changmin looks up, just in time to see his captain on stage, walking down the catwalk towards Hero Jaejoong. He has a headset microphone, and he can see why Jihye needs brain bleach, because the expression on Yunho’s face is one he wears when he is absolutely fucking determined to have his way with his lover.

And his captain is angry about something which makes the whole atmosphere even more magnetic

What has Jaejoong done now?

To play to play Kiss B…
Like it like this TP…
To play to play Kiss B…
Like it like this TP…

Changmin watches as Yunho tugs his tank top up and over his head, his cap not budging from the movement as he finally reaches the rock star.

Yunho circles his lover, his gaze implacable. The intense intimacy when their eyes lock can be felt by those close enough to feel the ripples. Hero Jaejoong does not hide his desire for the tall, tanned, ice hockey captain, sweeping the tip of his tongue along his upper lip slowly, as he eyes the younger man up and down.

The words Yunho utters are a covenant, his eyes do not leave Hero’s at all as he starts his rap. Everyone can feel the sexual tension, the electricity practically crackling between them.

All i need is one kiss, get a taste of your bliss…
Stir up the magic when you and I mix…

Yunho’s piercing glints in the light, and the screaming in the Dome almost drowns him out.

Changmin’s jaw drops as Hero Jaejoong blows a kiss to a sneering U-Know Yunho who continues to rap as he circles closer. A predator after his prey.

From the bed to the floor, hotter than before
Bara bolsu eobtneun neo
So turn the lights off…

He steps up behind him, his arms loose around Hero, sweeping his hands proprietarily up over his upper thighs before fisting the material of his thin top, just over his belly.

And the entire arena gasps as he tears it, ripping the sweater easily, exposing Hero Jaejoong’s milky white skin, as he continues to rap.

May I take your top off as you take off mine
naega gidaryeotdeon moseub
now we finally got time…

He does not even bother looking out at the audience, his attention wholly and completely on the man in his arms as he rips the top from a clearly stunned Hero Jaejoong who lets him.

His voice is so low, the baritone in it sending unwelcome tingles of electricity up Changmin’s arms, and he briefly wonders if Jihye can feel it too. The raw masculinity in his captain is evident in every stark line of his body, not to mention then angry twist of his mouth and the grim look in his eyes.

And the way he manhandles his boyfriend who has somehow managed to piss him off in some unfathomable way is making his teammates groan. The attraction is so palpable, that despite it being clear to his teammates that their captain is angry, it translates into a brutal show of dominance and desire onstage for the unknowing audience who drink up every single sneer and touch.

“It’s not safe yet, is it?” Jihye whispers, curling her body even further against Changmin’s chest. “I can feel you…” her voice carries a hint of amusement as she wiggles in her boyfriend’s lap.

Changmin holds his girlfriend still as he chances a look back to the stage, just as Yunho finishes his rap. His captain has Hero’s pierced nipple between his fingers, and he pinches hard, as Hero wails out the climax of the song. The dangerous gleam in his eye does not dissipate as he drags his lips along the line of his boyfriend’s right shoulder.

Hero Jaejoong takes a step back, grinding his ass against Yunho’s body. His skin is so pale in the bright light, his piercings and ink so stark against the porcelain canvas. The dips and planes of his body match his tanned boyfriend’s, though the younger man’s frame is much broader.

Yunho hauls Hero tighter against him, his arm possessively around the singer’s waist, kissing his way along the line of his neck. Hero has given up on even trying to sing as he tilts his head back, allowing Yunho access. Yunho’s reaches up his free hand, wrapping his long fingers along the pale column of the rock star’s neck, squeezing painfully, making Hero gasp as he adlibs into his boyfriend’s ear.

An aching whisper that is heard by thousands.

An echo of the end of his rap earlier.

“One kiss… it all starts with one kiss…”

And he pulls back as Hero turns in his arms, his eyes glittering with anger and a touch of hurt.

“Just one kiss…”

And he takes a step back, and then another, as Hero’s expression morphs to match his own, though instead of hurt, Hero is confused.

Yunho’s jaw is tight as he stares down his boyfriend. He knows Jaejoong has no idea why he is angry. He should not even have come up on stage, but standing the man up in front of thousands like this would be something far worse than what he just did.

And with that, he steps onto the platform that immediately lowers him back under the stage. His descent is slow, but his final words ring around the Dome as he takes one last look at the topless rock star.

“Mine, Hero Jaejoong.”

The cheers and screams are loud, but only the band and Hero Jaejoong know that this is not part of the show. The bassist in particular, considered more than an acquaintance by Hero, gives the band the cue as he starts the next song. He may cop hell for it later from the star, but he knows the rocker is very close to just leaping off the stage after his boyfriend.

The song is perfect for the singer’s now stormy mood as those beautiful doe eyes glare in his direction before he turns to snatch the microphone, throwing the stand down with such force it skids several feet before falling off the stage completely.

But Hero does not give a fuck as he starts to sing. His muscles are bunched, as he holds the microphone to his mouth with both hands as he growls out the start of the song, dropping low, one knee on the ground again. It is a figure of subservience, of prostration in a sense, but Hero worships no one.

Neon…jidokhae…
Byeonge geollin saramgata neon

This is what the crowd is used to. This is what his fans expect.

The angry rocker, pissed at the world, and everything around him. The sneer in his voice takes on new heights as he sings his new song. The actual one meant as the first single from his new album.

Anger vibrates from every word.

Passion underlies each note.

Each step that Hero Jaejoong takes is laden with fury as he struts across the vast stage, turning his confusion with his boyfriend into anger.

Demanding.

Warning.

Screaming his frustration as he starts the chorus.

THIS IS MY FUCKING OCEAN.

And everyone rallies to his call. On their feet, completely hypnotised by the beautiful man who is clawing at his bare torso, leaving red streaks.

Their eyes follow him, mesmerised as he strides the length of the stage, raging at the world.

When he suddenly stops dead.

Piano notes.

His hand comes up as he plays an imaginary piano, his manicured fingers so elegant.

So suggestive.

The black nails such a contrast, as he plays in earnest.

Dalkomhan…
Dalkomhan kwaerageun neomu dara
Nal ontong samkyeobeoryeo

There is a quiet, bitter pain in his voice even though he is speaking of pleasures. And he is looking down at himself as he sings those lines, as if the words are for him.

They are for him, but only he knows, as he suddenly remembers, in the middle of that huge stage, what it is that he must do. What he thinks he has to do, and all the emotions linked to that spill out into his voice.

Regret.

Anger.

Fear.

And then the moment is lost as he breaks from his bubble, wailing into the microphone once again.

Eyes that know him watch carefully.

Eyes that know his boyfriend watch even closer.

“Oppa…I think something’s up...”

“Shhh…” Changmin tries to comfort his girlfriend, but he can feel it too.

“Why are they like this?” Jihye asks, more to herself as she watches her brother’s boyfriend storm about the stage like a raging volcano. She is used to him being like this, but she can feel it is different.

Hero is singing his life out on that stage.

But while he used to sing as if he has nothing to lose…

The starkness in his eyes that she catches whenever he gets close enough, or when the cameras get a close up of his face, makes her want to cry.

He is singing as if he is about to lose everything.

The song ends just then, punctuated very thoroughly by Hero as he throws the microphone to the ground so hard that pieces actually fly from it as it bounces off the stage.

No one even dares shout for an encore as he grabs his discarded trench coat and jumps off the stage, not even waiting for the lights to go off or for his cue.

“Fuck!”

“Should we?”

“No,” Jihye shakes her head. “Everyone has meddled enough. I meddled, all of you meddled, even my parents meddled. Enough. Just enough. My brother can take care of himself. Stop trying to protect him.”

“But-“

“I said enough!” Jihye shouts, stunning everyone as she gets up. Before anyone can stop her, she disappears, melting into the crowd, far more at home at the venue than Anyang Halla are.

“What the actual fuck just happened?”

“You know what?” Changmin says quietly as he stands, to chase after his girlfriend. “I don’t know, but she’s right. Leave it. Don’t ask. Not a single word. Yunho can manage his boyfriend just fine.”

The remaining players all watch as he too disappears into the crowd, his cellphone in his hand.

“To be honest…i’m actually more afraid for Jaejoong than I am for the captain,” Han Geng muses quietly as his teammates all nod in agreement.

“I don’t even want to speculate,” Junsu mutters as he crosses his arms over his chest shaking his head.

“Someone’s definitely limping tomorrow,” Yoochun observes.

“Bags it isn’t Yunho.”

The VIP area is filled by a howl from a burly defenceman as his teammates all start pummeling him.

~~~

Yunho sucks on his second cigarette as he lounges back in the arm chair in Hero’s dressing room. He is not really one for smoking, only doing it casually, but he really needs to calm down.

He stares at the phone in his hand. The reason for his anger.

Yunho had been waiting for Hero’s first song to finish, doing push ups against the dressing table to work off his excess energy when the phone had beeped. He had absentmindedly grabbed it, not even thinking about it because their phones are identical and happen to be sitting next to each other. It is a fair mistake too because Jaejoong normally leaves his phone on silent or he turns it off.

But not this time.

It takes Yunho a good few seconds to focus on the email he had just inadvertently opened.

Early check-in information.

Confirmation.

For a flight leaving the next day for LAX.

Kim Jaejoong has a one way ticket.

He snuffs out his cigarette just as the dressing room door blows open, slamming into the wall, and a tornado walks through.

“What the fuck was that stunt you pulled? You do not fuck with my work.”

Hero is wearing his trench coat again, but his torso is still naked, and Yunho stares at the claw marks on his chest dispassionately before looking back up at the rock star.

“You invited me,” Yunho points out drolly, unimpressed by his boyfriend’s words.

“To rap!” Jaejoong bursts out. “Not to do whatever the fuck you just did. I couldn’t even remember the fucking lyrics. Don’t fuck with my work, Yunho.”

“Says the man who practically gave Kenta a death sentence,” Yunho counters, his tone flat and unamused.

“Who the fuck is Kenta?”

Yunho snorts in disbelief. “Typical. The player I had a punch up with a few weeks ago. Remember?”

Jaejoong’s features scrunch up as he tries to recall, and then it relaxes as he makes a dismissive sound, waving his hand negligently. “He deserved it. I can’t control my fans and what they do anyway.”

“Neither can I control how you react to me. Don’t blame me because you forgot the lyrics.”

“Yunho,” Jaejoong is leaning against the dressing table, his expression incredulous. “You are stupid if you actually believe that.”

“Are you giving me a weapon?” Yunho arches his eyebrow at Jaejoong’s admittance.

“Should I be afraid? You won’t hurt me.”

At the mention of hurt, Yunho suddenly remembers exactly why he is angry. He hurls the phone he is holding at him, catching Jaejoong by surprise but the older man manages to catch it.

“Explain that.”

“Have you been snooping through my phone?”

Yunho snorts disgustedly as he stands to tug off the cap and the tank top he is wearing, tossing it to the side.

“Do you have anything to hide?”

“Answer my question.”

Yunho rounds on the shorter man, bearing down on him, but Hero does not budge. They are toe to toe and nose to nose. The heels on his boots give the singer some height, and he stands his ground as he watches his angry boyfriend.

“Do you even know me, to ask me such a thing?”

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to explain?”

Yunho takes a step back, shaking his head in disappointment. “Are you still playing this game? Why are you lying to me?”

Jaejoong lets out a growl of frustration as he reaches for his belt, unbuckling it as he runs his other hand through his mussed up hair. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Really, Jae? Really? So you will be in bed with me tonight then? And we leave for home tomorrow morning with the team? Can you tell me that will happen? Because I fucking know you cannot.”

Jaejoong yanks his belt from his waist, staring at himself in the mirror. He can see Yunho looking at his reflection, eyes both angry and hurt. He wants to take it away, but yet he knows he cannot help it. He cannot help them. Not just yet, because there is something more important right now.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Liar.”

He turns around, eyes flashing as he stares at the topless man. “I am not fucking leaving you. I don’t even know why I’m bothering when you seem to think I’m going to run at any opportunity.”

“Aren’t you?” Yunho questions, as he stalks back to the seat he was on, throwing himself in it. He tilts his head back, running both his hands through his hair as he splays his legs out. He does not know what the hell is going on. Junsu tells him to give Jaejoong some space and before he can even get the chance to do it, the man wants to run to LA? A little voice inside him is telling him that he is overreacting, but he is still a tad insecure. Jaejoong has run from him twice now, and while he got him back both times, perhaps the third time’s the charm? Yunho cannot follow him to America. What the hell is going on?

He closes his eyes, disgusted with his thoughts, but yet he cannot help them. Were the last few weeks a lie? Has Jaejoong been planning on going all the time? Or did something happen in the last few days?

Yunho is pulled from his musings when he feels someone sitting astride his lap. He does not bother opening his eyes, pressing his palms against them instead as he growls out tiredly.

“Get the fuck off me, Jae.”

He can feel his boyfriend tugging at his belt, but he really does not feel like moving. He is just too tired all of a sudden. It has been a long fucking day, from practice and the game. And then the pre-concert disaster of a cocktail reception, followed by rehearsals and then the concert itself and now this.

It is just way too much for anyone to handle.

And he is only twenty four. Most people his age are still trying to figure out what the hell to do with their lives.

He knows exactly what he wants to do.

But there is a huge curveball in the semblance of an international rock star named Hero Jaejoong. Trying to wrangle the crazy man is going to be a full time job for the rest of his life.

Is this what he has to look forward to? Chasing the man all over the globe every time a bout of insecurity hits him?

He can feel his belt being pulled off and he growls again, dropping the heels of his palms from his eyes. He covers his face with his hands, just hiding. His body is already reacting to the older man, and he knows it is just a matter of time before he caves to Hero Jaejoong’s underhanded means of distraction. Not looking at the man helps, and Yunho is going to keep his hands over his face till he can manage to calm the fuck down.

Yunho is trying so hard to concentrate on willing his body to calm down that it is just a split second too late when he realises that his belt is now securing his wrists. He drops his palms from his face in shock as he eyes the sloe-eyed beauty that is his rockstar boyfriend.

“Jae?”

“I am not leaving you.”

“What are you doing?”

“I needed an advantage. You’re too strong.”

Yunho drops his gaze to his wrists, and then back up at Jaejoong’s unreadable face. “You really think this is going to give you an advantage?” His tone is vaguely contemptuous, and he sees the faint whisper of annoyance flit across the older man’s face as he moves to get up off his lap.

“It’s something,” Jaejoong counters as he unzips his pants, smirking slightly when he sees Yunho’s eyes drop to the juncture of his thighs. “Now do you want to do this before or after you fuck me?”

“Who says I’m fucking you?”

Jaejoong smiles. There is no humour in it, merely Hero’s darkness, as he bends at the waist to unbuckle his boots. “Do you really think you can say no to me?”

“Yes.”

“Really, baby?” Jaejoong coos as he straightens and kicks off his boots. He slips his thumbs into his waistband, tugging them down slightly, and he continues to smirk as he sees heat flare in Yunho’s eyes. He knows the man is trying to fight it, but he has a plan.

He always has a plan.

Yes, he probably should have told Yunho about his trip, but how do you even bring something like this up?

They are only just settling into their lives together, finally finding some sort of equilibrium to balance not just their work, but their personalities and their own individual spheres of life. Jaejoong is even moving in with the man, and then as pretty much everything is settled on the details of the new house, the universe sees fit to throw yet another fucking spanner in the works.

Can he not a catch a break?

The first day, Jaejoong thinks perhaps it is a giant joke.

The second day brings a phone call to confirm that no, this is in fact not a joke.

By the third day, he is actually at a loss, wondering what the hell this will mean for him and his new life.

And running through his mind this entire time is him wondering if he can be strong enough to work through this. Every single fucking time there is a conflict in their relationship, it stems from him.

Every.

Single.

Time.

And he is a little afraid that Yunho might say enough is enough.

Chased by sasaengs is one thing.

Having to read anti-Yunho messages on forums is another thing.

Living life practically under a microscope almost twenty-four seven is yet another thing.

But this? This is completely life-altering.

So life-altering that Jaejoong is actually thinking twice about the whole Seunghyun thing.

And that really is not fair, because vengence is just as much Yunho’s and his family’s as it is Jaejoong’s. He is already avoiding Mama Jung about it as it is. Sooner or later he is going to have to face her too and what then?

And so Jaejoong has a plan.

Sort of.

Though the plan definitely did not include Yunho finding out like this.

Alright, admittedly his plan is totally flawed and involves him disappearing for a week and then re-emerging. But now he is not actually sure it will only take a week, hence the open return ticket. Explaining everything to Yunho will be so much easier when he comes back. He knows it. He knows the man enough to know that everything will be so much easier then. He just has to take a chance.

All the madness in their lives is directly linked to him, and Jaejoong is finding it really hard to bear that yet one more thing is his fault. His fears that he voiced to Mrs Jung all those weeks ago comes back to haunt him.

What if he is not strong enough to hold up his end of the partnership?

That thought plagues him. Has plagued him, over the last few days.

Is he strong enough? Can he hold Yunho’s end up should he falter in the light of his news? Can he hold them both together if Yunho cannot take this news? The way the younger man is already reacting, Jaejoong knows it was wrong to have not said anything.

But now the words fail him.

They die on his lips as he stares at the gorgeous young man looking at him with a mixture of anger and curiosity.

Will this be their last time together?

He fervently hopes not. In fact, Jaejoong knows it will not be. He knows. He just knows.

But that little voice inside him is asking what if?

He tugs his pants down, stepping out of them, ignoring the choked gasp from the younger man. He is sans underwear, and therefore now completely nude under the trench coat that is hiding his modesty from whomever who might walk in.

“I’m not fucking you, Jae…” Yunho reaffirms, though really, there is a thread of uncertainty in his voice.

“What did you say to me earlier?” Jaejoong purrs, as he takes a step forward, his heart clenching painfully as that inner voice once again asks him what if? but he pushes it away. Each step sends a fresh surge of blood through his cock, and it fills quickly despite his dire thoughts. He believes in them. He has to.

Yunho groans as he remembers, dropping his bound wrists to his lap to possibly hold off Jaejoong’s approach. But the man’s apadravya is making his mouth water, and he can actually feel saliva pooling in his mouth as his glands work overtime.

Fuck.

“Do you remember, baby?” Jaejoong asks, his voice a throaty whisper as he stops just by Yunho’s knees. He runs his hand down his body, still wearing the knuckle ring as he uses it to trace up and down his growing cock. Metal clinks with metal as he flicks at his piercing, tugging at it, sending tendrils of pleasure curling down his back. He sinks slowly down, pushing Yunho’s knees apart, as he gazes up at the man. “I’m on my knees baby…” He leans forward, nosing into Yunho’s crotch before taking a long and heavy lick up the younger man’s clothed arousal.

Jaejoong chuckles darkly as Yunho tries to stop him, a palm open against his forehead, pushing him away. Jaejoong reaches up, grasping Yunho’s belt as he straightens up, sitting astride his boyfriend’s lap once again. Jaejoong winds a hand around the belt, tugging it hard causing Yunho to jerk forward, almost slamming into him.

They are nose to nose, and Jae rocks experimentally against Yunho. The movement presses something up against that spot within him and he closes his eyes and keens lowly, his cock now full and turgid.

“Let me go, Jae.” Yunho growls, trying to ignore the sounds the beautiful man is making. Jaejoong’s cock is so full he wants a taste. But he also wants the man to explain himself, and he knows if they continue, he will forget.

“You smell so fucking good,” Jaejoong moans as he is suddenly assaulted by a myriad of scents. The strongest is Yunho’s smoky musk. That smoke adding to the sheer masculinity of the younger man. “Do you know how good you are?” The rockstar murmurs throatily as he runs a hand over a hard pec.

“I don’t fucking know, goddamn it!” Yunho tries to shove Jaejoong off, but he only manages to get the man to stand, and it is then he notices something between his legs. His eyes widen, and he looks up and the smirking visage of the rock star. He needs to distract him because now his cock is definitely responding to that view.

Jaejoong is playing dirty. How to send him off his desired course?

“Are you wearing a tampon?”

“So fucking crude, Yunho. Why the fuck would I be wearing a tampon?”

Yunho growls, throwing his bound wrists up as if in explanation as Jaejoong’s grip on the belt has slackened. “You are Hero Jaejoong. Nothing is too crude for you.

“Should I gag you too?”

“Don’t you fucking dare. We need to talk.”

Jaejoong makes a dismissive sound, waving his hand as he turns around and sits back in Yunho lap, arching himself backwards against Yunho’s chest and grinding his hips again. “But you like it… You like it when I gag you and fuck you into the bed. Remember-“

“Fuck, Jae. Stop it! Later.”

“Now.”

“Later. We need to talk.” Yunho has no idea where he is getting the resolve from, but he wants to talk. Later, Jae can do him later. Or he can do Jae later. His brain is a little fuzzy at the moment, blood roaring through his ears. He is vaguely aware of Jaejoong leaving his lap in a huff and a swirl of leather trench coat. He watches in slight relief as the man walks away, holding his trench coat closed as he heads to the door. He can get up, but his legs are not cooperating. Only his wrists are bound, nothing else, but he might as well be pinned to the chair.

But instead of the rock star leaving the room in a temper, Yunho hears the rather final sound of the click of the lock.

He stays where he is, watching as Jaejoong moves towards the iPod stereo and fiddle with it.

Soon, the room is filled with a song. The level is low, in fact, Yunho almost has to strain to catch it.

Don't you know? Don't you know what I mean?
Make you feel good like nobody else…

He looks up just in time to see the absolutely coquettish look Jaejoong sends him as he starts to sing along.

”Can't you see? Can't you see what I feel? I will love you like nobody else…”

And he repeats the earlier words, his voice different to the female singer, but Jaejoong’s voice does things to Yunho that no one else’s can, male or female. And his hand, lazily fisting his cock, purposefully clinking his cruel looking ring with the piercing driven through his cock makes Yunho’s brainwave pattern flatline completely.

He knows he should probably get up and at least try to leave. Try being the operative word, because he recognises that look in Jaejoong’s eye. He has worn the same look himself.

Yunho is not going anywhere.

Once again, Yunho finds a stunning rockstar splayed indolently across his lap. The man’s exotic kohl-lined eyes going very well with the beat of the song as he sways with the music, the decidedly wicked gleam in his eye makes his breath catch. Jaejoong is beautiful. And he is even more beautiful when his cheeks are flush with arousal and that pouty mouth slick with Yunho’s spit from their kisses. The litany of curse words spilling from his rosy parted lips as he fucks himself on Yunho is a sight to behold.

A sight he can behold if he gives in.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Jaejoong asks, his voice low and husky, humming along to the music.

“You…” Yunho answers honestly.

Jaejoong smiles a siren smile, as he starts to sing along. His hips move on point with the song, snapping as it rubs over Yunho’s hardening length.

”Namiutsu karada yura yura… Karamitsuku ude snake no you… Hanarerarenai, hanasanai no iku made wa… Subete watashi ni sasagete…”

“You won’t let me go till you come?” Yunho interrupts, his cock stirring even more at the image in his head. He watches as Jaejoong leans forward, a sultry darkness in his eyes, licking at his lips.

Jaejoong tugs Yunho’s pouty bottom lip into his mouth, sucking as he gyrates along to the music still playing. He can feel the vibrations of a moan in the younger’s man’s throat, and he contemplates freeing his wrists because he wants Yunho’s hands on him.

“You really smell so fucking good and you taste like heaven,” Jaejoong murmurs against his soft lips.

“Bliss…” Yunho whines slightly as Jaejoong pulls back, chasing the older man till their lips are together once again. Wanting to talk is already a distant memory.

“Get a taste of your bliss…when you and I mix…,” Jaejoong whispers, swiveling his hips to the music. He slants his head and opens his mouth against Yunho’s thrusting his tongue into the welcoming warmth.

Twin moans, over the soft strains of the music, as Yunho sucks eagerly on Jaejoong’s tongue. Whatever the older man is offering, he is more than happy to take. His wrists are chafing slightly and his shoulders are sore from the awkward position, but the delicious friction every time Jaejoong rocks over his trapped length is making everything bearable.

As if reading his thoughts, Yunho feels Jaejoong tugging at his restraints.

“You want them off, baby?”

“Anything you want…”

“Anything?” Jaejoong cocks an eyebrow as he leans back, smiling coyly. “So if I want to use your belt as a leash and fuck you doggy style, you’d be fine with that?”

Yunho swallows heavily, unaware that he is licking his mouth. “Well…”

“Anything?”

Yunho exhales shakily, finally nodding. “Anything…”

The smile Jaejoong bestows on him is surprising in its intensity, and Yunho suddenly finds himself unfettered, with a very eager rock star pressing into him. Jaejoong has his knees on either side of him on the couch, and he slips his aching hands under the trench coat, immediately finding the older man’s ass cheeks and gripping it as he returns his kisses feverishly.

His hands scratch and scrabble at Jaejoong’s back and ass, the older man keeping his head tilted back with a fist in his hair as he ravages his mouth.

Licking.

Nipping.

Sucking hard.

Just taking and taking.

Yunho is moaning, able to feel Jaejoong’s cock piercing pressing into his belly, but unable to do anything about it. His hands reach behind, tugging and pulling at skin, till his fingers find the cord he had commented about earlier.

Jaejoong bites his lip harshly just then, and Yunho groans, his fingers still searching. He may be stronger and larger than the older man, but he is helpless in his hands as their mouths slant hotly over each others. Teeth clash, piercings clink and at one point, Jaejoong actually moans in pained pleasure as Yunho tugs harshly on the jewel in his tongue.

Their kisses are fierce, all the anger and desire pouring out in a frenzy. Yunho’s large hands work over the man’s soft skin, kneading his ass, squeezing and pulling his cheeks apart, searching and questing as he follows the trail of cord. Their mouths never leave each other, their kisses wet and sloppy and so very satisfying.

Jaejoong is intoxicating.

Like a drug.

Addictive.

“Oh god,” he moans as his fingers finally find Jaejoong’s already slick entrance. He tugs at the cord, and a bead pops out.

A large bead.

He pulls again.

More beads follow.

Each slick and warm. So fucking warm.

Yunho is practically crosseyed at the implication.

The line of beads finally ends, and his fingers count five beads.

Jaejoong had a length of anal beads in his ass.

For how fucking long?

“Oh god…” he whispers against Jaejoong’s lush mouth, the words sounding harsh in his suddenly dry throat. He swallows hard as he turns his eyes up to meet amused doe eyes. Eyes so dark with lust.

“Not god, Yunho.”

“Oppa…” Yunho breathes into his mouth, making Jaejoong growl as he pulls back.

His hands grapple with the buttons on Yunho’s pants, tugging impatiently, before reaching in and pulling out his prize. Jaejoong has been horny for hours.

Hours.

And he adds to his torture by using the anal beads while Yunho was in the bathroom before his first song.

Yunho’s words that morning, coupled with his self-imposed torment, is making his hands shake and his knees tremble.

He guides the tip of Yunho’s swollen cock to his waiting entrance, the head slipping in reasonably easily.

Jaejoong looks up, gazing into Yunho’s over-bright eyes.

Eyes filled with love and lust.

“Catch me, baby…” Jaejoong whispers, and he impales himself on Yunho’s length, all the way to the hilt. He cannot even scream, gasping instead, his body shaking at the forceful intrusion. He is curled around Yunho, his trench coat plastered against his already sweaty back, on his knees over the younger man’s lap. His hands are clutching Yunho’s shoulders tightly, fingers digging in. He is panting, his belly coiling and rolling as his body adjusts.

Jaejoong can feel the drag of Yunho’s thick length within him, as he rolls his hips experimentally. It is acute, and the pain is a dull throbbing sensation with sharp edges. Preparing his body is one thing, the silicon soaked anal beads giving his passage the lubrication it needs. But Yunho’s large, dry cock is stretching him.

“Fucking hell,” he finally breathes out, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. His breath comes out as a shuddering hiss as he breathes through his mouth, willing his body to relax.

“Hurts?”

“Like a mother fucker,” Jaejoong exhales shakily, leaning back and sitting a little further, gritting his teeth against the fullness. He brings his hand with the knuckle ring up between them, wiggling the clawed finger. “This inside you would hurt less.”

Instead of replying, Yunho slides down the couch a little, his hands gripping Jaejoong’s hips. His boyfriend’s body is so tight despite the lubrication. His grip tightens, and he lifts the singer up. His muscles bunch and strain because Jaejoong is not helping, and he watches, groaning softly as he sees the base of his cock pull out from his boyfriend’s warmth.

“Like what you see?”

Yunho turns his eyes back up to his boyfriend’s, and he finds his first smirk of the night. “Do you have any more lube?”

Jaejoong digs into a pocket and pulls out a small foil wrapper, tossing it at Yunho.

“Vanilla? Really?”

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly,” Yunho thrusts up suddenly, pulling a scream from the rock star. Jaejoong’s claw ring digs into his shoulder and the sharp sting tells him his boyfriend has drawn blood. Yunho’s grip is equally harsh, large hands flexing at the pain in his shoulder as they splay over Jaejoong’s narrow hips. He lifts the smaller man up again, feeling his walls dragging hard. There is some give, but the man is so tight. Ridiculously tight.

“Support yourself,” Yunho growls, as his boyfriend rests his weight on his knees once again on either side of him.

He rips the packet of lube with his teeth, helping to life Jaejoong up till only the tip of his cock is snug within the man’s passage, as he smears over half the packet on his exposed length. He leaves the foil pack on his chest as he uses his lubed hand to grip Jaejoong’s cock tightly as he thrusts up again.

This time the entry is much smoother, but it still pulls a shocked gasp from the older man. His doe eyes are wide, his mouth slick and so red. They are parted just so.

Jaejoong exhales in small puffs of air, feeling so full. Electricity is dancing along his skin, every sense incredibly heightened, made even more so by the feeling of extreme fullness. There is a light buzzing in his ears.

But he does not have time to think before Yunho holds his hips steady as he once again pulls out then thrusts up into him.

Again.

And again.

Hang on a fucking minute.

Jaejoong growls as he reaches around to yank Yunho’s hands from his waist. He ignores the man’s surprised exclamation as he slams his arms against the back of the couch. He places his own hands along the younger man’s inner arms, using it as leverage, putting his weight behind it as he swivels his hips up and slams back down, taking Yunho completely into his waiting body.

He chokes back his moan, as he glares down at the younger man.

“I’m fucking you.”

“Didn’t you want me leashed and done doggy style?” Yunho teases but it is an empty complaint as the older man starts rocking in his lap.

“If you think just because it’s your cock in my ass, that you’re the one fucking me? You’ve got a lot to learn baby,” Jaejoong promises, as his hips increase in tempo. The additional lube helps, and Yunho’s slick cock fills him over and over.

Yunho leans up, sucking and licking at any bit of skin he can get. He does not shield his teeth as he nips and bites, peppering Jaejoong’s chest with even more red marks. He latches onto his pierced nipple, pulling a keening wail from the older man who lets go of the grip he has on his arms to clutch Yunho’s head to his chest.

He winces as Jaejoong grabs indiscrimately, fistfuls of hair, tugging at his scalp, but the pain is a welcome distraction. He tugs and pulls at the piercing, the sounds Jaejoong makes reverberating in his chest and against his mouth.

The tempo Jaejoong has is brutal, snapping his hips hard, ripping choked sounds from Yunho who is pulled much too close to orgasm, way too quickly. He leans back, pulling Jaejoong’s hands from his hair, holding him by the wrists as he stares up at the glittering eyes of his sloe-eyed beauty. The make up on the man is flawless, and Yunho has honestly never seen anyone more beautiful in that moment.

Jaejoong growls, ripping himself from Yunho’s grasp, wrapping a hand around the man’s throat and pushing him back. He leans down, and their mouths meet in a furious clash of teeth and tongue. The juddering of his body makes their kissing impossibly hard but they manage somehow.

He can feel each and every slide and drag of Yunho’s cock. But he wants more. It still hurts, but he wants more. This position allows him to take all of Yunho, and there is a dull ache in his heart when he thinks of the coming days or weeks. His fingers tighten around the younger man’s neck, his claw ring digging into Yunho’s pulsing jugular.

Jaejoong licks at that beautiful mouth before pulling back slightly, staring down at Yunho’s almond eyes, black and cloudy with lust.

“I want more.”

“M-more?” Yunho questions shakily, reaching his hand between their bodies to fist Jaejoong’s leaking cock.

Jaejoong growls again, slapping his hand away. “I only want to fucking come from you. Don’t touch me.”

Yunho slides further down on the couch, his legs splayed wide, feet flat on the ground, eyes dropping down to the bobbing cock he is not allowed to touch or taste.

It seems unfair somehow, but Jaejoong’s next words wipe the thought clean from his mind.

“I want to DP.”

“TP?” Yunho echoes, mistakenly.

“DP. Double fucking penetration.”

“Huh?”

“I want your fingers.”

Yunho’s gaze drops even further from the hypnotising movements of Jaejoong’s cock with every rock, to his own cock, disappearing over and over into the slim man’s body. There is no give. Yes, Jaejoong’s movements are easier, but his body is still like a fucking glove over his cock, there is no way in hell anything else is going to fit.

“It won’t fit.”

“Try.”

Yunho shakes his head, but the movement is stopped as Jaejoong snaps his hand up against his throat again.

“I’m fucking you, baby. And I want to fuck your fingers too.”

Yunho’s eyes the twin black jewels of the man’s eyes. The intensity in his gaze sends a cold shiver up his spine, and his hand slips lower, fondling Jaejoong’s balls, but moving along when the man growls at him again. Jaejoong does not stop moving, and Yunho dances a tentative finger along the line of his cock, nudging at Jaejoong’s stretched entrance with every drop of the man’s hips.

Jaejoong nods towards the packet of lube that has slid off Yunho’s chest from earlier, and the younger man grabs it.

The rock star never stops fucking his boyfriend as he watches Yunho squeeze lube over two fingers.

Yunho grips Jaejoong’s waist with his free hand, slowly stilling the older man as he reaches under his body. The tip of his middle finger grazes around his cock, and he can feel the butterfly touches acutely. There really is no give, and he looks up helplessly at his boyfriend who simply stares silently back at him, his gaze unreadable, his eyes like shards of black ice.

Jaejoong is willing his body to relax, breathing shallowly through his mouth. He can feel Yunho’s tentative touches, and the urge to roll his eyes is strong.

“I won’t break, baby.”

He watches the play of expressions on his boyfriend’s face, as he steels himself. He feels Yunho’s fingertip gain entrance, and his stomach clenches at the immediate pain.

But Yunho is careful, and Jaejoong is unaware the increase in rapidity of his breathing as his young boyfriend manages to wiggle his finger slowly but surely into his stretched body.

Yunho looks up when Jaejoong suddenly gasps loudly, eyes impossibly wide.

“Just like that. There. Curl your finger again.”

Yunho can barely move, the pressure against his finger is immense and he can only imagine what Jaejoong is feeling.

But he complies nonetheless and it pulls a beautiful sound from the rock star’s throat.

Yunho’s long, slim finger is lodged up against his prostate and it is making Jaejoong see stars as he moves slowly, experimentally. Each drag sends shudders raking through his body as he scrabbles for purchase once again on his boyfriend’s broad shoulders.

Their eyes hold, as Jaejoong swivels his hips, his tempo increasing once again as his body adjusts to the additional intrusion.

Yunho can only stare as the gorgeous man fucks him hard, head thrown back, body flushed, wearing nothing but the leather trench coat. He is dancing along the edges of orgasm but he holds back. He wants Jaejoong to gain his pleasure completely first.

The increase in pressure and the almost constant abuse of his prostate makes Jaejoong’s tongue loose. His swearing is continuous, Yunho’s grunts of encouragement as a counterpoint, as he fucks his boyfriend. It does not take long before his demands increase.

“Fuck fuck fuck I want to feel you. Give me one more.”

“I can't fit another one!”

“Just fucking do it.”

“Fuck, you're crazy.”

“Would you rather I find another willing dick?” Jaejoong practically snarls as the sensations swirling his body threaten to drown him. He wants more. He wants all of Yunho.

“For someone who hardly bottomed, you're a fucking cock whore.”

“Your cock whore. Just yours,” Jaejoong pants as he continues to rock atop the man.

“Fucking mine,” Yunho agrees as his index finger skirts the edges of Jaejoong’s already impossibly stretched hole.

“Fuck, Yunho hurry.”

Yunho slips the second finger in, working against the pressure, his fingers are so tight against each other.

“Fuck fuck fuck oh fuck holy fuck fuck fuck…” Jaejoong’s epithet laden litany is unbroken, his body trembling hard against the two fingers now curled directly over his prostate. There is no need to move, his cock pulsing and throbbing, and he is ready to split at the seams from it all.

Yunho is barely moving as his thumb grazes heavily over Jaejoong’s tight and oversensitive balls.

The man comes with a scream as he starts to bounce again. His cock is leaking, his fluids spilling out from the tip and streaming down the swollen member. Each bounce flicks drops of milky white cum onto Yunho's sweaty torso.

And Yunho is practically gagging for a taste.

It seems never ending, the flow of cum from the tip of Jaejoong cock.

And still he rides, fucking himself so thoroughly onto Yunho's substantial cock and his two fingers. He is spent, but he keeps going, fucking himself raw as he moans.

"Oppa..."

The word is like kryptonite, the heady whine from the doe eyed star pushes Yunho over the edge hard and fast as he finally lets go, yanking out his fingers harshly as he comes, making Jaejoong scream again.

White light bulbs flash before his eyes, Yunho’s orgasm pouring over him like liquid hot fire as he pulls Jaejoong down for a forceful kiss, groaning his release against the other man’s mouth.

When his vision finally comes back, he finds Jaejoong slumped against him, heavy and sated, completely spent.

“Jae?”

He does not get a response and Yunho pushes away from the couch, sitting up, holding onto his boyfriend who whines loudly at the movement.

Yunho is still buried balls deep in the other man’s body, and he lifts the rock star off gently, his cock leaving his body easily for the first time ever, eliciting another complaining whine from the boneless older man. Yunho’s back is aching from the awkward position earlier, but he fights through the discomfort as he lays his boyfriend out gently on the couch next to him.

Jaejoong’s eyes are shut, his lips pursed into a pout, a crinkle in his brow as he winces. His legs are still loosely draped around Yunho’s hips and the younger man leans forward and over him, carding his hand affectionately through the singer’s damp hair.

He leans forward and starts to kiss and lick at his salty skin, finally getting a taste of the man as he moves his way down, finding stray drops of cum. Jaejoong hums contentedly the whole time, a deep whine in his throat when Yunho takes his limp cock into his mouth to clean him up. He feels every tug and suck and lick, but he is way too spent to do anything about it.

He nuzzles along the man’s pelvic bone, little kitten licks, and still Yunho moves lower.

His view is unsurprising, Jaejoong’s hole is red and raw and gaping, and Yunho can see the trickle of cum from his body.

He licks at his balls, lips against the soft sacs as he murmurs quietly.

“Get a taste of your bliss, when you and I mix…” and he delves lower, licking around the swollen, abused entrance of his boyfriend.

Jaejoong hears the words, and he jerks involuntarily when he feels Yunho’s tongue against him, but a soothing palm flat against his belly, rubbing reassuringly stays his movement. Tears fill his eyes as he feels Yunho licking and kissing gently, cleaning him up.

The tenderness of the ice hockey captain tells Jaejoong that the younger man has forgotten their fight, and he bites his lip, hating himself yet again. He wants Yunho to demand to know what is going on again. He wants him to ask.

But he knows he won’t.

Yunho takes his time, before kissing his way back up, stretching out next to his boyfriend.

“Sleep…”

Jaejoong complies, his heart heavy as he knows he will be gone when Yunho wakes.

~~~

When Yunho returns to their hotel suite, there is no trace of Jaejoong. He walks around the expansive rooms, looking through drawers and closets. The vanity is conspicuously empty, but the mirror holds a note.

A messy scrawl using what looks like black eyeliner.

How very rockstar-ish.

I’M SORRY…

Yunho stares at the words in disbelief. And the more he stares, the starker they appear till all he sees is Jaejoong’s elaborate scrawl.

Together.

His boyfriend still doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the meaning of the word.

Alone.

He seems to be able to grasp that concept pretty fucking well though. All those years of conditioning. Yunho knows it is really unfair of him to think this way, but yet again Jaejoong is shutting him out and making unilateral decisions. Will his boyfriend ever learn? Will this be an indication of what the rest of their lives will be like? Jaejoong taking off as and when he feels like.

Yunho is trying to find a good enough reason to justify Jaejoong walking out on him yet again.

But as he stares at those words, he cannot think of a single scenario. Jaejoong, so used to being alone and being closed off. So used to answering to no one and looking out only for himself. Jaejoong, whom he thought was getting better at the whole working as a unit thing. Jaejoong, the man he fell for even before meeting him. He loves him, and yet, this hurts. This really hurts.

“Sorry for what Jae? Sorry for not trusting me with your secrets? Sorry for lying to me? Sorry for leaving me? Sorry for always thinking your way is the best way? Sorry for fucking what, Jae?” Yunho asks the empty bathroom, his voice harsh.

His phone beeps just then, and it is not Jaejoong’s ringtone.

It is his sister’s.

He dials in his password and looks at the message.

Isn’t he beautiful? I took these while he was singing your song before you came onstage and went all crazy hockey captain on his ass…or shirt… Chill, oppa. He loves you.



The more he stares, the angrier he gets, and with a grunt of effort, he hurls the phone he is holding at the mirror, shattering both phone and mirror into a thousand pieces.

As he stares at the broken pieces, his heart going the same way as the phone and mirror, he remembers something Jaejoong said several weeks ago when he had done this very thing.

“Trust doesn’t come from words,” he whispers to himself.

His jaw tightens, as he clenches his fist. He steps forward, walking through the broken mirror shards, ignoring the pricks in his soles from the carnage till he comes to the piece he is aiming for.

He bends over and picks it up, seeing his reflection, the haunted eyes and the grim mouth. He reads the black scrawl again. He stands there for the longest time, just staring at himself through the black words. His only link to Hero Jaejoong as of now.

Yunho’s next words are soft, a little defeated, but Jaejoong’s words resound in his head from earlier.

“I am not fucking leaving you.”

“Then where are you, Jae?”

”I am not fucking leaving you.”

It is as if the man’s voice is there, echoing in the vast bathroom.

”I am not fucking leaving you.”

“Ok…” Yunho looks up and around him. “Ok, I believe you.”

Despite the evidence to the contrary, despite his deep insecurities, Yunho decides to take a plunge.

He stares at the black word in his hand once again.

SORRY…

“I forgive you…”

AN1: Jaejoong is me. He really is me. I am absolutely 100% the type to make unilateral decisions because it “makes sense” to me.

AN2: Drama will end soon. This was always the way it was going btw. I think I’m pretty on track to finish in 24-25 chapters + epilogue. It just depends on how wordy I am. Also… oh yeah this is also totally my tactic. Distract my husband with sex if I don’t want to talk about shit :P And he bloody falls for it every single time. Just yesterday he was all “REMEMBER OUR ARGUMENT TWO YEARS AGO THAT WE HAVEN’T RESOLVED” blah blah blah and what did I do? Postpone it another day by distracting him… and he’s always DON’T THINK I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN. I’M STILL MAD WITH YOU. Ok, whatever baby…

AN3: Also, don’t get too used to the comments being open. I had to open them so I can find something in SB comments. Once I find it, I’m disabling comments again. Also, anyone who “spots” is going to automatically get unfriended/banned if I see it before you manage to delete it. I really cannot stand this practice.