Sleeping Beauty [17/20]
Title: Sleeping Beauty (17/20)
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here
Summary: Jaejoong just wants somewhere to call home again. Living by himself is really not as great as his sisters made it out to be and he yearns to be around people again. He misses the hustle and bustle and even the crying babies that make up his parents’ household but he’s too proud and stubborn to return. He is nineteen after all and fully capable of living his own life away from his ridiculously large family. Enter a tiny little girl who captures Jaejoong’s heart in an instant and he finds himself with a family…of sorts. And for a sheltered, very well-loved boy, complicated doesn’t even begin to describe his life from the moment the tearful baby crawls into his lap looking for comfort.
AN: I don't have anything to say here...
The Jungs spend the next few days based at the Kim mansion. Mr. and Mrs. Kim are both loathe to let their son and his husband out of their sight for a variety of reasons, and both Jaejoong and Yunho are more than alright with this. An assortment of Jaejoong’s extended family visit throughout the week, alternating between crying with relief at seeing him and chewing his ear off for scaring all of them half to death. The teenager takes it all in stride, knowing that it is the least he can do after what he has put them all through over the weekend. To his mortification, his father decides to take out full page ads in all his papers and associated publications to proclaim to the world that his only son is alive and well. Some staff from one of the branches of his media empire had to be seconded to field enquiries and calls for this week, as a variety pour in, from people voicing their relief at Jaejoong being alive, to those who are up in arms at the wasted resources spent searching for the teenager in the river. All the man hours, the equipment, and the tying up of police personnel in those two days that could have been used on other matters. It is a fair complaint though, and everyone acknowledges this, even Jaejoong.
Some rival papers take it too far, with editorials painting Jaejoong as being a spoiled child, and demanding that he come forward to explain what has happened. Tabloids are rife with speculations, and Jaejoong is portrayed as a variety of unpleasant things. The well-loved and sheltered Kim baby is finally at the receiving end of bad press, despite his father and husband’s best efforts. Yunho doesn’t escape unscathed either, though the gossip surrounding him is a lot more muted because of the very many powerful people in the upper echelons of South Korean society that witnessed his devastation upon receiving the news of Jaejoong’s car being pulled from the river on Saturday afternoon. Many have been quoted, describing the unfathomable agony they had witnessed in the man held up as one of the pillars of strength in the country, many of these speaking up against the whisperings of foul play in the weekend, not allowing any shade to be cast on the grieving man. And so in a strange turn of events, Yunho is suddenly seen as a hero, a martyr even, and his dear precocious wife a little brat who doesn’t deserve him.
Thanks to the efforts of the Kims, they are able to seclude the couple to a certain extent, away from the prying eyes and probing questions of everyone. For a short time, members of the Kim family as well as Yunho when he has to leave the protection of the Kim mansion, are hounded and chased by the press and strange people who seem to get a kick out of being near any sort of scandal or drama. Jaejoong jokes about feeling like an idol, as he returns home exhilarated after sneaking out to return to Jung Tower to get some clothes, only to be chased by about ten cars. Yunho is not amused, even though Jaejoong assures him the Lamborghini can out run anyone. The poor man though is not too keen on the idea of Jaejoong being in a car alone, and no one can really blame him for it. He arranges for a car with a trained bodyguard and driver that Jaejoong is convinced is probably some sort of former secret agent, to be at his beck and call 24/7 much to the teenager’s consternation. However yet again, he acquiesces, knowing that he brought this on himself. He does hope Yunho’s overprotective tendencies will let up a little though because he cannot imagine the rest of his life being tailed by men in black wannabes.
Yet another rather trying aspect of being stuck in the mansion for an extended length of time is the fact that Jaejoong cannot escape his family. The issue of a second wedding ceremony keeps coming up too, mingling with all the fawning and scolding over him, and Jaejoong finally cracks over it at a rare mid-week family dinner with all of his family present.
“Enough! Please, everyone, just enough. I’m married. I don’t need anything else.”
“But don’t you want to have photographs of your special day?”
In response to his sixth sister, Jaejoong stands up to dig into his pocket for his iPhone. Looking through the album in it, he quickly finds the photo he wants and he shows it to her. It is a selca of him with ice cream on his nose and upper lip, Jiyool with her mouth open, the shot taken just before she lunges for his top lip for a taste, and Yunho planting a kiss on his cheek, eyes on the camera and a wicked glint in his eye. The happiness in Jaejoong’s eyes resounds for all to see, loud and clear as his phone is passed round the table. He has copies of the photo on every available electronic device he has, not to mention a framed copy that he had lovingly placed on Yunho’s desk just that morning when he had accompanied the man to work in order to pack up more clothes from the apartment. He feels his husband next to him slipping a hand between his legs and curling it around his thigh, just over his knee and squeezing reassuringly. They have spoken about this at length last night, and both agree that they do not want another wedding. Yunho has too many bad associations with it already, and despite agreeing to see a trauma specialist in Japan once a week, he is not even close to ready to revisit getting dressed in the sumptuous traditional wedding attire.
The Kims finally leave it be, seeing the couple united on this issue. The Kim parents don’t want to push either of them, and so their word is final as they tell their daughters to drop the matter, amidst much grumbling.
~~~
“I want to go home.”
Yunho snuggles into the back of Jaejoong’s head, wrapping an arm around the boy’s slim waist and pulling him closer. He murmurs softly in agreement, slipping his hand under the teenager’s loose tank top and stroking his warm smooth skin.
“I love my family, but I really want to go home. I want to be with you and Jiyool without wondering if Jessica is going to come bouncing in and being nosy while we’re chatting. Or little Taemin crying because he wants you to carry him and then Jiyool starts crying too because she’s jealous. I need some quiet time.”
“We can leave anytime you want, Jae.”
“I know, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to go back to the apartment either. When will the furniture be delivered to the new house?”
“We get possession on Saturday, the furniture will be delivered at noon. I have that custody meeting I can’t get out of though, but I’ll be home by 3. Will you be alright till then?”
Jaejoong nods, wiggling his butt to press against Yunho’s crotch, smiling when the man groans in his ear. Jiyool is asleep with them in her pillow fortress, and he knows he cannot get more than kisses and cuddles, but it is still fun to tease. He slips his hand under his top, lacing his fingers over the top of Yunho’s hand that is splayed across his belly, and he squeezes it.
“Are you sure you don’t want me there?”
Yunho sighs and pulls Jaejoong closer, pressing his growing erection into the crease of his ass, his body reacting to the proximity of the boy, but his head is not in it.
“I don’t want you anywhere near those people. You’ve spoken to noona and you know what they are like, and she too doesn’t think it’s good for you to be there.”
Jaejoong pulls Yunho’s hand out from under his top, letting go of it as he turns within the warm embrace so he can face his husband. They are asleep on the same pillow again as usual when Jiyool sleeps with them, and he can make out the shadowy features, currently marred by a slight frown, in the darkness of the room. He leans forward and nuzzles against Yunho’s dry lips, smiling when Yunho sticks out his tongue to lick the tip of his nose. Tiny little affectionate gestures that grow exponentially each day. The man who can still hold a perfectly blank expression in the face of practically anything he is faced with, whether horror, fear, pain, humour or anger, cannot do so when Jaejoong is present, and the teenager kisses Yunho’s chin in appreciation of that, even though he knows the man cannot see his thoughts. Yunho is still taking baby steps, and Jaejoong hadn’t even needed to play hardball with the issue of him seeking professional help, with the man offering to go during their marathon talk on Monday afternoon after his return to the living.
He ducks his head, snuggling against Yunho’s throat as his husband pulls him even closer, pulling a leg up to drape across his hip.
“I’m a lot stronger than you think, Yunnie-ah. But I’ll defer to you and noona in this, especially since I want Jiyool with me and I won’t have her anywhere near them. Are you sure everything will be ok though? We won’t lose Jiyool right?”
Yunho presses a kiss to the top of Jaejoong’s head as his eyes drift close, inhaling the familiar scent of his spouse.
“I love you, and I promise that Jiyool will be fine. I’m not letting them anywhere near her and my plans are all set. They will be in for a very nasty surprise on Saturday.”
“I shouldn’t be happy about someone else’s misfortune, but when it comes to Jiyool, you have my permission to do whatever you need to do.”
“I’m glad I have your permission then. Will you help me hide the bodies?”
“I know the perfect place.”
“Oh, Jae.” Yunho chuckles and squeezes the boy tight. He’s come a long way to be able to make even half jokes about this, and he can thank the light in his arms for it.
Jaejoong draws back slightly, tilting his face to gaze into Yunho’s eyes. The darkness is not absolute and he can make them out clearly enough. His voice is serious, even though he has just made light of their situation.
“Don’t let them have our baby.”
“Never.”
Yunho seals his promise with a deep kiss, the couple exploring the contours of each other’s mouths languidly, ignoring their automatic arousals, simply wanting to taste and reconnect. Some people underestimate the healing power of sex and intimacy. It is a powerful tool, because it conveys much more than lust when two people are so in love with each other as they are. It conveys need, love, trust, reassurance, and even hope. The healing nature of a touch cannot be underestimated, especially when you are Yunho, who has suffered for over a decade, where touch is used as a weapon of pain and control. He basks in Jaejoong’s adoring caresses, each kiss heals his soul, each caress reminds him he is alive with everything to live for, each gesture of affection shows him that he is worthy of love.
~~~
Jaejoong comes out the bathroom, a towel around his waist and another in his hands as he dries his hair, smiling as he watches Yunho propped against the headboard with Jiyool on his belly, the end of his tie in her mouth as she chews on it while fiddling with one of his buttons.
“Yah, give her a teething ring not your expensive silk tie!”
Yunho looks up, blinking at the vision in front of him. Jaejoong’s pale torso exposed, his piercings winking teasingly at him in the morning light, and he feels his body tightening in reaction, but he tamps it down, as he lifts Jiyool into his arms, tugging his tie gently from her grasp, kissing her when she starts to protest.
“Sorry, Jiyool-ah. Your Mama said no.”
Jaejoong’s heart lurches at the casual words, as he stops to watch Yunho soothe the grouchy baby girl who is finally teething. It isn’t all that uncommon for teeth to come through so late, and he remembers squealing like a crazy person when he noticed the little hints of white through her bottom gums on Monday. The poor baby girl has been subjected to her mouth being prodded every day since then, because Jaejoong is so excited about them. Probably more excited than Jiyool herself who doesn’t understand what the fuss is about, simply annoyed at her itchy mouth. She basically chews on anything she can get her tiny little hands on. Her fingers are not as fun anymore because while they are good for sucking on, they’re not the best thing to chew on.
He shakes himself from his mild stupor as a result of his happiness to go to her packed day bag, pulling out her teething ring, and handing it to Yunho who passes it to Jiyool who grabs it eagerly, sticking it into her mouth and chewing industriously as she watches her parents, eye moving back and forth between them.
Jaejoong turns away and heads to the closet, dropping his towel to reveal his precious Hello Kitty boxers to Yunho who smothers a laugh at the sight. He starts talking, even as he rummages through the closet for something to wear. It must be a parent thing to have their child’s clothes and things all packed away and ready the night before or something, and for their own self to be neglected. Jaejoong stares at the lacking closet in mild consternation as he tries to decide on what to wear for the active day ahead.
“How long will you be at work for?”
“I’ll be in the office till lunch, and then I need to go to Jeju, but I should be back after dinner. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
Jaejoong pops his head out of the closet, his brow furrowed as he pulls on a pair of tight jeans. Buttoning them up as he walks back towards the bed.
“I can’t. The apartment is a mess. We’re not taking any furniture but there’s still a mountain of things to pack.”
He stops by Yunho’s side, leaning against the man as he runs his hands through Jiyool’s hair.
Yunho wraps his free arm around Jaejoong’s waist, pulling the boy close, nuzzling against the soft skin of his chest and trying to ignore the piercing that is within sucking distance.
“I told you we can get professional packers. Then you can come with me.”
“Aish, Yunnie-ah.” Jaejoong chides gently as he squeezes a hand around a shoulder. Yunho’s breadth is impressive, and Jaejoong really enjoys the way he fills out a shirt. “You might be alright with strangers handling your things, but not me. I don’t want some random person packing my underwear thank you very much!”
“What’s taking so long anyway? You packed a lot quicker when we were moving your stuff from your studio to the apartment.”
“Have you seen the size of the apartment? I have to look through every nook and cranny and crevice to make sure I haven’t missed any personal items whether yours, mine or Jiyool’s. That’s what I’ve been doing most of this week actually. Not to mention Jiyool is the world’s fastest crawler. I need to leash her to my side or something to prevent her wandering off because half my time is spent hunting for this little girl all over the apartment.”
“Didn’t we buy one?”
“Yes…but I think it’s a little barbaric.”
“How about the swing?”
“Swing?”
“Yeah, remember? You bought a weird mobile swing thing that we never actually unpacked from the box during that first and last trip to the baby store.”
“Oh! Yes! That would be perfect! She’ll be confined and reasonably happy and I can just roll her from room to room when I move. My husband is so smart!”
Jaejoong’s voice is getting higher with excitement as he recalls the purchase all those weeks ago, bending down to quickly press a kiss to the top of Yunho’s head and also to Jiyool’s before he slips from his husband’s grasp to skip happily back to the closet to finish dressing.
Yunho can only shake his head and chuckle at the teenager, turning to look at his daughter who has both hands around the ring, eyes large as her mouth continues to work over the toy.
“Your Mama is very cute. A little silly, but cute nonetheless.”
“I heard that!” comes a loud singsong voice from the depths of the closet, and Jiyool starts, looking around, and then smiling, finally dropping the teething ring from her mouth.
“Mama!”
“Yes, precious.” Jaejoong answers from the closet, but he doesn’t step out, still trying to find something to wear.
“Mama!” Jiyool starts bouncing in Yunho’s arms, making him laugh as she searches the room for Jaejoong. Odd little girl who had the boy in her sights a couple of minutes ago, but now that he’s disappeared, she looks for him. It’s a game to her though. She likes playing hide and seek, and finding her Mama is the best game ever.
Yunho moves to stand, bending over to release the excited baby onto the floor where she sits, before calling for Jaejoong again.
“Mama!”
“Yes, my love. Such a demanding little baby you are.” Jaejoong is smiling as he pulls a teeshirt on and a hoodie over it. He knows Jiyool’s game and he stays in the closet, knowing she will find him.
Hearing him again, she finally determines his location, and she starts crawling rapidly to the closet. Once at the entrance to the small walk-in closet, she sits back, staring into it, before gurgling happily, and moving back to crawl, disappearing into it.
“Oh! Look who we have here! Are you lost, little girl? Who are you looking for?”
Yunho feels like he can conquer the world, as he hears Jaejoong exclaim in mock surprise, and the soft giggles that come out of the closet from both his baby and his wife.
“Daddy!”
“Daddy? But daddy isn’t here. His clothes are here though. Look, that’s his white shirt, and his blue shirt and his black shirt. But where’s daddy?”
“Mama, black!”
Silence from the closet, and Yunho cocks his head, watching the open door curiously. He cannot see within it from where he is standing. Even as he looks, Jaejoong comes out, dressed in a black hoodie, eyes wide as Jiyool rests her head against his shoulder, popping one of the ends of the ties to the hoodie into her mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
“Didn’t you hear her?”
“Yes, I did. But like you say, she is picking up new words quickly. She was probably imitating you.”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “She pointed at me. Look at me. What am I wearing?”
“A black hoodie.”
“Think about what she said.”
“Oh.”
“I think we’re raising a genius.”
“I can’t claim responsibility for that since she only started talking with you around.”
Jaejoong simply huffs, nuzzling the baby girl in his arms happily as he moves to pick up her diaper bag, which is promptly taken from him as Yunho comes up behind him, nuzzling him and kissing his ear.
“I’m excited about her talking too, Jae. But it’s just a one-off and you did mention black last. She’s not even 14 months old.”
“Yah! You need to be around babies more. Kids pick up things very quickly. I’ll volunteer you for babysitting duties for the under fives one of these days.”
“Oh god, no.”
“You need the practice!”
“Should I start worrying about your genes…?”
“My genes?”
“Your family is massive.”
“Oh, that. Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.” And with a wicked chuckle and nary a backward glance, Jaejoong takes off laughing, leaving Yunho chase after him, waking some of the still slumbering household as it is not yet 8am. However, whoever hears them cannot help but smile at the change in Yunho and the happiness in Jaejoong.
~~~
Jaejoong is pouting. If pouting were an olympic event, he would win the gold medal easily. However, his husband is made of far stronger stuff than Olympic judges, and the teenager’s epic pout only serves to amuse the man. Well, in all honesty, he will usually capitulate at any sign of that luscious pout, but not today.
“Jae, I told you I have to go.”
Jaejoong shakes his head as much as he can, which isn’t very much at all, as Jiyool has decided to latch onto his chin, using him as her teething ring as her parents forgot to put it back into her diaper bag in all the chaos over her talking that morning. The feeling of the baby girl gnawing on his chin slips him into quiet contentment. Well, that is till he remembers that Yunho has to leave for Jeju Island. He’d spent the whole morning working through the nursery, packing up Jiyool’s things, and he is thoroughly satisfied with it, as everything is now sitting and waiting in boxes in the living room which has been cleared of furniture, to make room for all their things that the movers will be picking up on Saturday morning. Yunho had dropped in mid-morning, helping to divest him of the extra two bags he had packed for Jiyool for the remaining two nights at the Kim mansion, convincing him that it really isn’t necessary. Jaejoong wrinkles his nose at the memory. Jiyool needs the stuff! Really, she does. Maybe he can sneak a bag since Yunho won’t be with him anyway when he goes home.
And that contemplation sends him spiraling petulantly back into the thought of the rest of the day without Yunho.
Yunho watches the play of emotions across the teenager’s face, and he reaches out to rub the boy’s knee. Jaejoong is perched on the edge of Yunho’s desk, legs crossed between his own legs. He had been sitting in his lap, but had moved away in a grump when he realised his pouting wasn’t getting him anywhere.
“What if I need to reach something and it’s too high?”
“You can grab a chair.”
“What if Jiyool cries for her daddy and I can’t produce you?”
“You’ll manage, Jae. My flight isn’t till two and I’ll be home by nine tonight. She’s gone longer than that without seeing me.”
“What if I get upset and want you?”
“Then you can call me. I will answer every call, I promise.” Yunho rubs Jaejoong’s knee reassuringly. In truth, he doesn’t want to go, but he has to. He has a few projects on Jeju at the moment, and all of them tie in with his plans for the Chois and he cannot delegate it to someone else.
“What if I need something heavy moved?”
“You’re very strong, Jae. I should know.”
“But, what if I’m pregnant? I shouldn’t be carrying heavy things!” Jaejoong is getting desperate.
Yunho’s hand stills as he looks at the teenager, trying to figure out if he is serious or just trying to talk him out of going. He knows that Jaejoong knows how important the trip is, and so the clinginess is a little uncharacteristic of him. He pushes his chair back slightly and stands, moving to scoop Jaejoong back into his arms, jolting Jiyool from her determined sucking of the teenager’s chin. He ignores Jaejoong’s weak protests as he steps back, his precious cargo in his arms, and settles back into his chair, the wheels creaking in protest at the additional weight.
Jiyool stares at her father for a long second, before moving back to Jaejoong’s chin. Her slobber is everywhere, dripping down Jaejoong’s neck, but the teenager doesn’t notice, too caught up in the sad state he finds himself.
“Jaejoong-ah. Tell me what really is the matter.”
Yunho’s mouth is pressed against the delicate curve of Jaejoong’s ear, and he kisses his piercings as he speaks.”
“I’m afraid.”
Jaejoong’s voice is soft, and a little tearful, as he finally admits to what is really bothering him.
“Afraid of what, love?”
“That if I let you out of my sight, you might not come back.”
Yunho sighs, his breath a warm caress against Jaejoong’s sensitive skin that the boy cannot help but shiver in response.
“I’m coming back. I promise.”
“I said I was coming to our wedding too…and I didn’t.”
Jaejoong’s voice is a suffocated whisper, feeling the pain his family and husband felt all over again. The guilt comes and goes, and so does the fear, and the stuff his fanciful imagination comes up with in the dead of the night. But it is daylight, and the reality of Yunho having to fly without him is making him anxious. He is not the anxious type, and so the feeling is new to him. New and unwelcome, and he is struggling to deal with it quietly. Yunho doesn’t need this burden of a weepy wife, especially not with the custody stuff that needs to be settled. The fallout from the weekend has caused Jaejoong to become more aware of the consequences of his willful behaviour. The carefree boy is still there, but he puts more thought into his words and actions now, no longer as blithe as he used to be. He is growing up a little more every day.
“Jaejoong…”
Yunho has no idea what to say, because it is the truth. He remembers waking up one night, their pillow damp with tears, Jaejoong sound asleep, but the traces of his sadness are clear on his beautiful face. He pulls back slightly, in time to see a tear fall from the corner of the teenager’s liquid doe eyes. He leans forward to catch the salty drop, his lips tracing its path back up over the pale cheek, kissing Jaejoong’s closed eye.
“I know I’m being silly, but I can’t help how I feel. Maybe I really am pregnant. I don’t understand why I’m such a mess.”
“Not silly, baby.” Yunho drops his chin on Jaejoong’s shoulder, nuzzling the forlorn teenager’s jawline. “I think you are putting yourself in my shoes a little too much. I’ve already forgiven you for the weekend, you need to forgive yourself now.”
“It’s so hard. I still think about it, and while I may look ok, the horror of what happened overwhelms me sometimes and I just…I cannot deal with it. I don’t want to burden you.”
“Not a burden. Never a burden. Why don’t you see that therapist in Tokyo with me?”
Yunho moves to kiss Jaejoong’s ear again, his hand caressing his thigh as he pulls the boy higher into his lap, careful not to jolt his content baby from her position.
“Do you think she can help?”
“No harm trying. And if she can get anywhere with me, you’ll be a breeze, trust me.”
“But it’s not really a couple counseling type thing, is it? Will she be mad?”
“I was always going to bring you with me. I told you that I am done hiding things from you. I am very serious about that. You are welcome to come to every session if you want to.”
“Really? The first session is next Thursday right?”
“Yes, I made sure all the appointments were on days I know you are free. It’ll be ok. I’ve spoken to her, and she sounds good. She comes highly recommended anyway, and from the amount she charges, she better be as good as she sounds.”
Jaejoong sighs, rubbing both hands on Jiyool’s back, taking comfort from the baby girl in his arms, as well as his husband.
“Ok. I guess I can deal with not seeing you for the rest of the day. I’ll probably call you every hour or something just to make sure. Maybe more, I don’t know. And if you don’t answer, I’ll probably panic so please answer.”
“I will, Jae.”
Finally feeling a very tiny measure of reassurance, Jaejoong dislodges himself gently from Jiyool’s grip, turning to look at the clock on Yunho’s desk. The little girl makes a mewling sound of protest, but she is sleepy, comforted by her parents’ presence, that she simply drops her head against his shoulder, and sticks her two fingers in her mouth. Yunho leans forward to kiss her little button nose, causing the angel to wrinkle it, but she smiles sleepily at her father, eyes drooping.
“You should probably get going. It’s almost 1.”
Jaejoong turns back to Yunho, whose eyes drop to his wet chin, and he suddenly chuckles, shaking both Jaejoong and Jiyool in his lap as he laughs quietly.
“What?”
“Jiyool gave you a hickey.”
“Huh?”
“You have a nice red hickey on your chin from her sucking.”
Jaejoong’s eyes widen as he lifts a hand to wipe at his chin, which only serves to cause Yunho to laugh a little more.
“It’s no use. She was sucking for ages. It’s there alright. It’s so dark against your skin.”
“Aish…like father like daughter.”
“Shall I give you another to match it? Then you have something to remember me by.”
The office is suddenly filled with breathy giggles, as Yunho proceeds to mark the beautiful teenager’s neck.
~~~
Jaejoong stares at the strange outlined square in a wall panel at the back of the closet in the spare room of the apartment. He is leaving the closet in the master bedroom for last, since that is the biggest job of all following Jiyool’s nursery. He wanted something easier to manage and so he tackles his former closet, still half filled with his belongings, plus the unopened purchases from their trip to the baby store ages ago. He found the mobile swing set in there that morning, and has finally assembled it, only to realise he might not need it that afternoon after all because Jiyool is sound asleep. He’d kept her in her cot while packing her nursery that morning so had not needed it then, and after saying goodbye to Yunho earlier, she had fallen asleep, and still is. It has been almost two hours though and she will probably wake soon.
He has cleared out almost everything, finally getting to the back of the closet for the very first time. There are still random boxes filled with books that had been stored back there for one reason or other, and it is after moving those boxes out that he discovers the inconsistency in the panel. He recalls Yunho’s worry about the possibly damning footage that the Chois might have, the man confessing everything to him on Monday, and he eyes the square, wondering if there is something hidden behind it. Anger slowly fills him, as he thinks of exactly what Choi Sun Ye had set out to do, and in all honesty, he cannot feel sorry if the bitch burned in hell for the rest of eternity.
He runs his fingers along the line he sees, trying to find an opening, there is not much give. He contemplates going to the kitchen to get a knife to pry it open if he has to, when his finger dips ever so slightly along one of the sides. He peers closely, the light in the closet isn’t bright enough to give him much to work with, unable to see any difference in the wall. He runs his fingers lightly over the area again, and then he feels it. The very slight dip. There is a concave part of the wall, about the size of his thumb pad. He finds it again, and fits his thumb against it, and presses, holding his breath as he hears a click, and the “door” suddenly pops open, leaving a gap of about a centimeter.
His heart is filled with trepidation. It cannot be Yunho that made this, because the man would have said something, surely? His breath is a little laboured, as anxiety suddenly pours through him. He has a horrid feeling that he will hate whatever it is he finds behind that little door, but at the same time, he knows he has to open it. It is almost akin to walking into a tiger’s cage and expecting not to be eaten. He knows something bad is waiting for him, but yet he cannot help but step into it.
Jaejoong slips a finger behind the door, and pulls it, surprised at the strong hinge the door has. It is spring loaded, and if he lets go, it will swing shut to leave that same tiny gap. He pulls the door open slowly, finding a pile of items within it. There are seven black cases, that look like they hold DVDs, a leather-bound journal, and a jewelry box. He picks up the box first as it is sitting at the top, letting the door go as he needs both hands to open it. He is surprised to find that it contains a key, nestled in its groove, with a card on top of it with the name of a bank, and a 16-digit password made up of numbers and letters.
3U2596U5U649U646
He stares at it, recognising the name of the bank, and realising what the key is. It is a safe deposit box. His heart is thumping madly in his chest, and he wants nothing more than to call Yunho to tell him of his discovery, but something stays his hand. He will not give the man false hope. He has to find out what the box contains first. He closes the lid of the box, putting it to the side before opening the door again to retrieve the stack of cases, as well as the blood red journal. There is no doubt in his mind that it all belongs to Sun Ye. He closes the door carefully, pushing it till he hears a click and the now empty hiding place is once again sealed.
He picks up the items he’s found, and heads out of the closet, suddenly desperate for some light. He looks over at the bed, relieved to find that Jiyool still appears to be dead asleep. He goes over to her, kissing the baby girl, and then checking that her baby monitor is working, before pocketing a receiver and heading out, to get as far away from the baby as possible. He goes into Yunho’s study, shutting the door behind him and turning on every single light he possibly can. It is still daylight, and the room is bright from the bank of windows alongside one wall but he doesn’t feel like it is enough.
After the room is lit enough to his satisfaction, he collapses in a heap in front of the television in the room. He sits cross legged, dumping the items he has found next to him. His hand shakes as he picks up one of the DVD cases, opening it, to reveal a silver disk with no markings on it.
He stares at it, as if expecting it to jump up and bite him. But of course it doesn’t. He has no idea how long he sits there staring at it, but he finally moves to turn the television on, as well as the DVD player. He pops the player open, and it is a real struggle for him to take the disc out from its box. He feels like the universe is crying and telling him not to do it. His gut is clenching painfully in protest, his entire being telling him not to do it.
But he has to.
He bites his lip, fortifying himself as he finally pops the disc from the box and puts it in the player, closing it. And then he waits. A menu pops up immediately, the background blood red. The menu is filled with names. Twenty in total, and he recognises both male and female names. The music is a beautiful violin piece that he doesn’t recognise, but the very beauty of the sound is juxtaposed by the growing feeling of unease he feels. The music doesn’t soothe him. It makes him feel even worse. He picks a name at random, a male name.
Screams fill his ears, even though he has made sure to turn the sound down on the television. His eyes are large, and tears gather slowly as he watches the horror before his eyes. He wants to look away, and yet he cannot. The sickness of Sun Ye is beyond anything he can imagine. The clip is short, but it is enough. At the end of it, the menu comes back up, the violin piece searing his soul, his face is now wet with tears. His hand is shaking violently as he moves to select a female name this time.
There are no screams, but only because the girl is gagged. He can hear her pained moans though, and the insane cackling of the beautiful woman on the screen as she carves up the girl’s chest. Sun Ye is nude, her white skin is covered in streaks of blood that is not her own. Jaejoong swallows the bile that rises to his throat as the woman actually moves to pick up the camera, to pan towards her handiwork.
I AM A SLUT
The clip ends with her laughter echoing around the room, as she mocks the tortured girl beneath her, and Jaejoong curls over, forehead to the ground in prostration, whimpering in pain as he hugs himself.
AN: Deep breaths…
Chapter 18
Pairing: YunJae
Rating: NC17
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, angst, drama
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here
Summary: Jaejoong just wants somewhere to call home again. Living by himself is really not as great as his sisters made it out to be and he yearns to be around people again. He misses the hustle and bustle and even the crying babies that make up his parents’ household but he’s too proud and stubborn to return. He is nineteen after all and fully capable of living his own life away from his ridiculously large family. Enter a tiny little girl who captures Jaejoong’s heart in an instant and he finds himself with a family…of sorts. And for a sheltered, very well-loved boy, complicated doesn’t even begin to describe his life from the moment the tearful baby crawls into his lap looking for comfort.
AN: I don't have anything to say here...
The Jungs spend the next few days based at the Kim mansion. Mr. and Mrs. Kim are both loathe to let their son and his husband out of their sight for a variety of reasons, and both Jaejoong and Yunho are more than alright with this. An assortment of Jaejoong’s extended family visit throughout the week, alternating between crying with relief at seeing him and chewing his ear off for scaring all of them half to death. The teenager takes it all in stride, knowing that it is the least he can do after what he has put them all through over the weekend. To his mortification, his father decides to take out full page ads in all his papers and associated publications to proclaim to the world that his only son is alive and well. Some staff from one of the branches of his media empire had to be seconded to field enquiries and calls for this week, as a variety pour in, from people voicing their relief at Jaejoong being alive, to those who are up in arms at the wasted resources spent searching for the teenager in the river. All the man hours, the equipment, and the tying up of police personnel in those two days that could have been used on other matters. It is a fair complaint though, and everyone acknowledges this, even Jaejoong.
Some rival papers take it too far, with editorials painting Jaejoong as being a spoiled child, and demanding that he come forward to explain what has happened. Tabloids are rife with speculations, and Jaejoong is portrayed as a variety of unpleasant things. The well-loved and sheltered Kim baby is finally at the receiving end of bad press, despite his father and husband’s best efforts. Yunho doesn’t escape unscathed either, though the gossip surrounding him is a lot more muted because of the very many powerful people in the upper echelons of South Korean society that witnessed his devastation upon receiving the news of Jaejoong’s car being pulled from the river on Saturday afternoon. Many have been quoted, describing the unfathomable agony they had witnessed in the man held up as one of the pillars of strength in the country, many of these speaking up against the whisperings of foul play in the weekend, not allowing any shade to be cast on the grieving man. And so in a strange turn of events, Yunho is suddenly seen as a hero, a martyr even, and his dear precocious wife a little brat who doesn’t deserve him.
Thanks to the efforts of the Kims, they are able to seclude the couple to a certain extent, away from the prying eyes and probing questions of everyone. For a short time, members of the Kim family as well as Yunho when he has to leave the protection of the Kim mansion, are hounded and chased by the press and strange people who seem to get a kick out of being near any sort of scandal or drama. Jaejoong jokes about feeling like an idol, as he returns home exhilarated after sneaking out to return to Jung Tower to get some clothes, only to be chased by about ten cars. Yunho is not amused, even though Jaejoong assures him the Lamborghini can out run anyone. The poor man though is not too keen on the idea of Jaejoong being in a car alone, and no one can really blame him for it. He arranges for a car with a trained bodyguard and driver that Jaejoong is convinced is probably some sort of former secret agent, to be at his beck and call 24/7 much to the teenager’s consternation. However yet again, he acquiesces, knowing that he brought this on himself. He does hope Yunho’s overprotective tendencies will let up a little though because he cannot imagine the rest of his life being tailed by men in black wannabes.
Yet another rather trying aspect of being stuck in the mansion for an extended length of time is the fact that Jaejoong cannot escape his family. The issue of a second wedding ceremony keeps coming up too, mingling with all the fawning and scolding over him, and Jaejoong finally cracks over it at a rare mid-week family dinner with all of his family present.
“Enough! Please, everyone, just enough. I’m married. I don’t need anything else.”
“But don’t you want to have photographs of your special day?”
In response to his sixth sister, Jaejoong stands up to dig into his pocket for his iPhone. Looking through the album in it, he quickly finds the photo he wants and he shows it to her. It is a selca of him with ice cream on his nose and upper lip, Jiyool with her mouth open, the shot taken just before she lunges for his top lip for a taste, and Yunho planting a kiss on his cheek, eyes on the camera and a wicked glint in his eye. The happiness in Jaejoong’s eyes resounds for all to see, loud and clear as his phone is passed round the table. He has copies of the photo on every available electronic device he has, not to mention a framed copy that he had lovingly placed on Yunho’s desk just that morning when he had accompanied the man to work in order to pack up more clothes from the apartment. He feels his husband next to him slipping a hand between his legs and curling it around his thigh, just over his knee and squeezing reassuringly. They have spoken about this at length last night, and both agree that they do not want another wedding. Yunho has too many bad associations with it already, and despite agreeing to see a trauma specialist in Japan once a week, he is not even close to ready to revisit getting dressed in the sumptuous traditional wedding attire.
The Kims finally leave it be, seeing the couple united on this issue. The Kim parents don’t want to push either of them, and so their word is final as they tell their daughters to drop the matter, amidst much grumbling.
~~~
“I want to go home.”
Yunho snuggles into the back of Jaejoong’s head, wrapping an arm around the boy’s slim waist and pulling him closer. He murmurs softly in agreement, slipping his hand under the teenager’s loose tank top and stroking his warm smooth skin.
“I love my family, but I really want to go home. I want to be with you and Jiyool without wondering if Jessica is going to come bouncing in and being nosy while we’re chatting. Or little Taemin crying because he wants you to carry him and then Jiyool starts crying too because she’s jealous. I need some quiet time.”
“We can leave anytime you want, Jae.”
“I know, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to go back to the apartment either. When will the furniture be delivered to the new house?”
“We get possession on Saturday, the furniture will be delivered at noon. I have that custody meeting I can’t get out of though, but I’ll be home by 3. Will you be alright till then?”
Jaejoong nods, wiggling his butt to press against Yunho’s crotch, smiling when the man groans in his ear. Jiyool is asleep with them in her pillow fortress, and he knows he cannot get more than kisses and cuddles, but it is still fun to tease. He slips his hand under his top, lacing his fingers over the top of Yunho’s hand that is splayed across his belly, and he squeezes it.
“Are you sure you don’t want me there?”
Yunho sighs and pulls Jaejoong closer, pressing his growing erection into the crease of his ass, his body reacting to the proximity of the boy, but his head is not in it.
“I don’t want you anywhere near those people. You’ve spoken to noona and you know what they are like, and she too doesn’t think it’s good for you to be there.”
Jaejoong pulls Yunho’s hand out from under his top, letting go of it as he turns within the warm embrace so he can face his husband. They are asleep on the same pillow again as usual when Jiyool sleeps with them, and he can make out the shadowy features, currently marred by a slight frown, in the darkness of the room. He leans forward and nuzzles against Yunho’s dry lips, smiling when Yunho sticks out his tongue to lick the tip of his nose. Tiny little affectionate gestures that grow exponentially each day. The man who can still hold a perfectly blank expression in the face of practically anything he is faced with, whether horror, fear, pain, humour or anger, cannot do so when Jaejoong is present, and the teenager kisses Yunho’s chin in appreciation of that, even though he knows the man cannot see his thoughts. Yunho is still taking baby steps, and Jaejoong hadn’t even needed to play hardball with the issue of him seeking professional help, with the man offering to go during their marathon talk on Monday afternoon after his return to the living.
He ducks his head, snuggling against Yunho’s throat as his husband pulls him even closer, pulling a leg up to drape across his hip.
“I’m a lot stronger than you think, Yunnie-ah. But I’ll defer to you and noona in this, especially since I want Jiyool with me and I won’t have her anywhere near them. Are you sure everything will be ok though? We won’t lose Jiyool right?”
Yunho presses a kiss to the top of Jaejoong’s head as his eyes drift close, inhaling the familiar scent of his spouse.
“I love you, and I promise that Jiyool will be fine. I’m not letting them anywhere near her and my plans are all set. They will be in for a very nasty surprise on Saturday.”
“I shouldn’t be happy about someone else’s misfortune, but when it comes to Jiyool, you have my permission to do whatever you need to do.”
“I’m glad I have your permission then. Will you help me hide the bodies?”
“I know the perfect place.”
“Oh, Jae.” Yunho chuckles and squeezes the boy tight. He’s come a long way to be able to make even half jokes about this, and he can thank the light in his arms for it.
Jaejoong draws back slightly, tilting his face to gaze into Yunho’s eyes. The darkness is not absolute and he can make them out clearly enough. His voice is serious, even though he has just made light of their situation.
“Don’t let them have our baby.”
“Never.”
Yunho seals his promise with a deep kiss, the couple exploring the contours of each other’s mouths languidly, ignoring their automatic arousals, simply wanting to taste and reconnect. Some people underestimate the healing power of sex and intimacy. It is a powerful tool, because it conveys much more than lust when two people are so in love with each other as they are. It conveys need, love, trust, reassurance, and even hope. The healing nature of a touch cannot be underestimated, especially when you are Yunho, who has suffered for over a decade, where touch is used as a weapon of pain and control. He basks in Jaejoong’s adoring caresses, each kiss heals his soul, each caress reminds him he is alive with everything to live for, each gesture of affection shows him that he is worthy of love.
~~~
Jaejoong comes out the bathroom, a towel around his waist and another in his hands as he dries his hair, smiling as he watches Yunho propped against the headboard with Jiyool on his belly, the end of his tie in her mouth as she chews on it while fiddling with one of his buttons.
“Yah, give her a teething ring not your expensive silk tie!”
Yunho looks up, blinking at the vision in front of him. Jaejoong’s pale torso exposed, his piercings winking teasingly at him in the morning light, and he feels his body tightening in reaction, but he tamps it down, as he lifts Jiyool into his arms, tugging his tie gently from her grasp, kissing her when she starts to protest.
“Sorry, Jiyool-ah. Your Mama said no.”
Jaejoong’s heart lurches at the casual words, as he stops to watch Yunho soothe the grouchy baby girl who is finally teething. It isn’t all that uncommon for teeth to come through so late, and he remembers squealing like a crazy person when he noticed the little hints of white through her bottom gums on Monday. The poor baby girl has been subjected to her mouth being prodded every day since then, because Jaejoong is so excited about them. Probably more excited than Jiyool herself who doesn’t understand what the fuss is about, simply annoyed at her itchy mouth. She basically chews on anything she can get her tiny little hands on. Her fingers are not as fun anymore because while they are good for sucking on, they’re not the best thing to chew on.
He shakes himself from his mild stupor as a result of his happiness to go to her packed day bag, pulling out her teething ring, and handing it to Yunho who passes it to Jiyool who grabs it eagerly, sticking it into her mouth and chewing industriously as she watches her parents, eye moving back and forth between them.
Jaejoong turns away and heads to the closet, dropping his towel to reveal his precious Hello Kitty boxers to Yunho who smothers a laugh at the sight. He starts talking, even as he rummages through the closet for something to wear. It must be a parent thing to have their child’s clothes and things all packed away and ready the night before or something, and for their own self to be neglected. Jaejoong stares at the lacking closet in mild consternation as he tries to decide on what to wear for the active day ahead.
“How long will you be at work for?”
“I’ll be in the office till lunch, and then I need to go to Jeju, but I should be back after dinner. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
Jaejoong pops his head out of the closet, his brow furrowed as he pulls on a pair of tight jeans. Buttoning them up as he walks back towards the bed.
“I can’t. The apartment is a mess. We’re not taking any furniture but there’s still a mountain of things to pack.”
He stops by Yunho’s side, leaning against the man as he runs his hands through Jiyool’s hair.
Yunho wraps his free arm around Jaejoong’s waist, pulling the boy close, nuzzling against the soft skin of his chest and trying to ignore the piercing that is within sucking distance.
“I told you we can get professional packers. Then you can come with me.”
“Aish, Yunnie-ah.” Jaejoong chides gently as he squeezes a hand around a shoulder. Yunho’s breadth is impressive, and Jaejoong really enjoys the way he fills out a shirt. “You might be alright with strangers handling your things, but not me. I don’t want some random person packing my underwear thank you very much!”
“What’s taking so long anyway? You packed a lot quicker when we were moving your stuff from your studio to the apartment.”
“Have you seen the size of the apartment? I have to look through every nook and cranny and crevice to make sure I haven’t missed any personal items whether yours, mine or Jiyool’s. That’s what I’ve been doing most of this week actually. Not to mention Jiyool is the world’s fastest crawler. I need to leash her to my side or something to prevent her wandering off because half my time is spent hunting for this little girl all over the apartment.”
“Didn’t we buy one?”
“Yes…but I think it’s a little barbaric.”
“How about the swing?”
“Swing?”
“Yeah, remember? You bought a weird mobile swing thing that we never actually unpacked from the box during that first and last trip to the baby store.”
“Oh! Yes! That would be perfect! She’ll be confined and reasonably happy and I can just roll her from room to room when I move. My husband is so smart!”
Jaejoong’s voice is getting higher with excitement as he recalls the purchase all those weeks ago, bending down to quickly press a kiss to the top of Yunho’s head and also to Jiyool’s before he slips from his husband’s grasp to skip happily back to the closet to finish dressing.
Yunho can only shake his head and chuckle at the teenager, turning to look at his daughter who has both hands around the ring, eyes large as her mouth continues to work over the toy.
“Your Mama is very cute. A little silly, but cute nonetheless.”
“I heard that!” comes a loud singsong voice from the depths of the closet, and Jiyool starts, looking around, and then smiling, finally dropping the teething ring from her mouth.
“Mama!”
“Yes, precious.” Jaejoong answers from the closet, but he doesn’t step out, still trying to find something to wear.
“Mama!” Jiyool starts bouncing in Yunho’s arms, making him laugh as she searches the room for Jaejoong. Odd little girl who had the boy in her sights a couple of minutes ago, but now that he’s disappeared, she looks for him. It’s a game to her though. She likes playing hide and seek, and finding her Mama is the best game ever.
Yunho moves to stand, bending over to release the excited baby onto the floor where she sits, before calling for Jaejoong again.
“Mama!”
“Yes, my love. Such a demanding little baby you are.” Jaejoong is smiling as he pulls a teeshirt on and a hoodie over it. He knows Jiyool’s game and he stays in the closet, knowing she will find him.
Hearing him again, she finally determines his location, and she starts crawling rapidly to the closet. Once at the entrance to the small walk-in closet, she sits back, staring into it, before gurgling happily, and moving back to crawl, disappearing into it.
“Oh! Look who we have here! Are you lost, little girl? Who are you looking for?”
Yunho feels like he can conquer the world, as he hears Jaejoong exclaim in mock surprise, and the soft giggles that come out of the closet from both his baby and his wife.
“Daddy!”
“Daddy? But daddy isn’t here. His clothes are here though. Look, that’s his white shirt, and his blue shirt and his black shirt. But where’s daddy?”
“Mama, black!”
Silence from the closet, and Yunho cocks his head, watching the open door curiously. He cannot see within it from where he is standing. Even as he looks, Jaejoong comes out, dressed in a black hoodie, eyes wide as Jiyool rests her head against his shoulder, popping one of the ends of the ties to the hoodie into her mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
“Didn’t you hear her?”
“Yes, I did. But like you say, she is picking up new words quickly. She was probably imitating you.”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “She pointed at me. Look at me. What am I wearing?”
“A black hoodie.”
“Think about what she said.”
“Oh.”
“I think we’re raising a genius.”
“I can’t claim responsibility for that since she only started talking with you around.”
Jaejoong simply huffs, nuzzling the baby girl in his arms happily as he moves to pick up her diaper bag, which is promptly taken from him as Yunho comes up behind him, nuzzling him and kissing his ear.
“I’m excited about her talking too, Jae. But it’s just a one-off and you did mention black last. She’s not even 14 months old.”
“Yah! You need to be around babies more. Kids pick up things very quickly. I’ll volunteer you for babysitting duties for the under fives one of these days.”
“Oh god, no.”
“You need the practice!”
“Should I start worrying about your genes…?”
“My genes?”
“Your family is massive.”
“Oh, that. Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.” And with a wicked chuckle and nary a backward glance, Jaejoong takes off laughing, leaving Yunho chase after him, waking some of the still slumbering household as it is not yet 8am. However, whoever hears them cannot help but smile at the change in Yunho and the happiness in Jaejoong.
~~~
Jaejoong is pouting. If pouting were an olympic event, he would win the gold medal easily. However, his husband is made of far stronger stuff than Olympic judges, and the teenager’s epic pout only serves to amuse the man. Well, in all honesty, he will usually capitulate at any sign of that luscious pout, but not today.
“Jae, I told you I have to go.”
Jaejoong shakes his head as much as he can, which isn’t very much at all, as Jiyool has decided to latch onto his chin, using him as her teething ring as her parents forgot to put it back into her diaper bag in all the chaos over her talking that morning. The feeling of the baby girl gnawing on his chin slips him into quiet contentment. Well, that is till he remembers that Yunho has to leave for Jeju Island. He’d spent the whole morning working through the nursery, packing up Jiyool’s things, and he is thoroughly satisfied with it, as everything is now sitting and waiting in boxes in the living room which has been cleared of furniture, to make room for all their things that the movers will be picking up on Saturday morning. Yunho had dropped in mid-morning, helping to divest him of the extra two bags he had packed for Jiyool for the remaining two nights at the Kim mansion, convincing him that it really isn’t necessary. Jaejoong wrinkles his nose at the memory. Jiyool needs the stuff! Really, she does. Maybe he can sneak a bag since Yunho won’t be with him anyway when he goes home.
And that contemplation sends him spiraling petulantly back into the thought of the rest of the day without Yunho.
Yunho watches the play of emotions across the teenager’s face, and he reaches out to rub the boy’s knee. Jaejoong is perched on the edge of Yunho’s desk, legs crossed between his own legs. He had been sitting in his lap, but had moved away in a grump when he realised his pouting wasn’t getting him anywhere.
“What if I need to reach something and it’s too high?”
“You can grab a chair.”
“What if Jiyool cries for her daddy and I can’t produce you?”
“You’ll manage, Jae. My flight isn’t till two and I’ll be home by nine tonight. She’s gone longer than that without seeing me.”
“What if I get upset and want you?”
“Then you can call me. I will answer every call, I promise.” Yunho rubs Jaejoong’s knee reassuringly. In truth, he doesn’t want to go, but he has to. He has a few projects on Jeju at the moment, and all of them tie in with his plans for the Chois and he cannot delegate it to someone else.
“What if I need something heavy moved?”
“You’re very strong, Jae. I should know.”
“But, what if I’m pregnant? I shouldn’t be carrying heavy things!” Jaejoong is getting desperate.
Yunho’s hand stills as he looks at the teenager, trying to figure out if he is serious or just trying to talk him out of going. He knows that Jaejoong knows how important the trip is, and so the clinginess is a little uncharacteristic of him. He pushes his chair back slightly and stands, moving to scoop Jaejoong back into his arms, jolting Jiyool from her determined sucking of the teenager’s chin. He ignores Jaejoong’s weak protests as he steps back, his precious cargo in his arms, and settles back into his chair, the wheels creaking in protest at the additional weight.
Jiyool stares at her father for a long second, before moving back to Jaejoong’s chin. Her slobber is everywhere, dripping down Jaejoong’s neck, but the teenager doesn’t notice, too caught up in the sad state he finds himself.
“Jaejoong-ah. Tell me what really is the matter.”
Yunho’s mouth is pressed against the delicate curve of Jaejoong’s ear, and he kisses his piercings as he speaks.”
“I’m afraid.”
Jaejoong’s voice is soft, and a little tearful, as he finally admits to what is really bothering him.
“Afraid of what, love?”
“That if I let you out of my sight, you might not come back.”
Yunho sighs, his breath a warm caress against Jaejoong’s sensitive skin that the boy cannot help but shiver in response.
“I’m coming back. I promise.”
“I said I was coming to our wedding too…and I didn’t.”
Jaejoong’s voice is a suffocated whisper, feeling the pain his family and husband felt all over again. The guilt comes and goes, and so does the fear, and the stuff his fanciful imagination comes up with in the dead of the night. But it is daylight, and the reality of Yunho having to fly without him is making him anxious. He is not the anxious type, and so the feeling is new to him. New and unwelcome, and he is struggling to deal with it quietly. Yunho doesn’t need this burden of a weepy wife, especially not with the custody stuff that needs to be settled. The fallout from the weekend has caused Jaejoong to become more aware of the consequences of his willful behaviour. The carefree boy is still there, but he puts more thought into his words and actions now, no longer as blithe as he used to be. He is growing up a little more every day.
“Jaejoong…”
Yunho has no idea what to say, because it is the truth. He remembers waking up one night, their pillow damp with tears, Jaejoong sound asleep, but the traces of his sadness are clear on his beautiful face. He pulls back slightly, in time to see a tear fall from the corner of the teenager’s liquid doe eyes. He leans forward to catch the salty drop, his lips tracing its path back up over the pale cheek, kissing Jaejoong’s closed eye.
“I know I’m being silly, but I can’t help how I feel. Maybe I really am pregnant. I don’t understand why I’m such a mess.”
“Not silly, baby.” Yunho drops his chin on Jaejoong’s shoulder, nuzzling the forlorn teenager’s jawline. “I think you are putting yourself in my shoes a little too much. I’ve already forgiven you for the weekend, you need to forgive yourself now.”
“It’s so hard. I still think about it, and while I may look ok, the horror of what happened overwhelms me sometimes and I just…I cannot deal with it. I don’t want to burden you.”
“Not a burden. Never a burden. Why don’t you see that therapist in Tokyo with me?”
Yunho moves to kiss Jaejoong’s ear again, his hand caressing his thigh as he pulls the boy higher into his lap, careful not to jolt his content baby from her position.
“Do you think she can help?”
“No harm trying. And if she can get anywhere with me, you’ll be a breeze, trust me.”
“But it’s not really a couple counseling type thing, is it? Will she be mad?”
“I was always going to bring you with me. I told you that I am done hiding things from you. I am very serious about that. You are welcome to come to every session if you want to.”
“Really? The first session is next Thursday right?”
“Yes, I made sure all the appointments were on days I know you are free. It’ll be ok. I’ve spoken to her, and she sounds good. She comes highly recommended anyway, and from the amount she charges, she better be as good as she sounds.”
Jaejoong sighs, rubbing both hands on Jiyool’s back, taking comfort from the baby girl in his arms, as well as his husband.
“Ok. I guess I can deal with not seeing you for the rest of the day. I’ll probably call you every hour or something just to make sure. Maybe more, I don’t know. And if you don’t answer, I’ll probably panic so please answer.”
“I will, Jae.”
Finally feeling a very tiny measure of reassurance, Jaejoong dislodges himself gently from Jiyool’s grip, turning to look at the clock on Yunho’s desk. The little girl makes a mewling sound of protest, but she is sleepy, comforted by her parents’ presence, that she simply drops her head against his shoulder, and sticks her two fingers in her mouth. Yunho leans forward to kiss her little button nose, causing the angel to wrinkle it, but she smiles sleepily at her father, eyes drooping.
“You should probably get going. It’s almost 1.”
Jaejoong turns back to Yunho, whose eyes drop to his wet chin, and he suddenly chuckles, shaking both Jaejoong and Jiyool in his lap as he laughs quietly.
“What?”
“Jiyool gave you a hickey.”
“Huh?”
“You have a nice red hickey on your chin from her sucking.”
Jaejoong’s eyes widen as he lifts a hand to wipe at his chin, which only serves to cause Yunho to laugh a little more.
“It’s no use. She was sucking for ages. It’s there alright. It’s so dark against your skin.”
“Aish…like father like daughter.”
“Shall I give you another to match it? Then you have something to remember me by.”
The office is suddenly filled with breathy giggles, as Yunho proceeds to mark the beautiful teenager’s neck.
~~~
Jaejoong stares at the strange outlined square in a wall panel at the back of the closet in the spare room of the apartment. He is leaving the closet in the master bedroom for last, since that is the biggest job of all following Jiyool’s nursery. He wanted something easier to manage and so he tackles his former closet, still half filled with his belongings, plus the unopened purchases from their trip to the baby store ages ago. He found the mobile swing set in there that morning, and has finally assembled it, only to realise he might not need it that afternoon after all because Jiyool is sound asleep. He’d kept her in her cot while packing her nursery that morning so had not needed it then, and after saying goodbye to Yunho earlier, she had fallen asleep, and still is. It has been almost two hours though and she will probably wake soon.
He has cleared out almost everything, finally getting to the back of the closet for the very first time. There are still random boxes filled with books that had been stored back there for one reason or other, and it is after moving those boxes out that he discovers the inconsistency in the panel. He recalls Yunho’s worry about the possibly damning footage that the Chois might have, the man confessing everything to him on Monday, and he eyes the square, wondering if there is something hidden behind it. Anger slowly fills him, as he thinks of exactly what Choi Sun Ye had set out to do, and in all honesty, he cannot feel sorry if the bitch burned in hell for the rest of eternity.
He runs his fingers along the line he sees, trying to find an opening, there is not much give. He contemplates going to the kitchen to get a knife to pry it open if he has to, when his finger dips ever so slightly along one of the sides. He peers closely, the light in the closet isn’t bright enough to give him much to work with, unable to see any difference in the wall. He runs his fingers lightly over the area again, and then he feels it. The very slight dip. There is a concave part of the wall, about the size of his thumb pad. He finds it again, and fits his thumb against it, and presses, holding his breath as he hears a click, and the “door” suddenly pops open, leaving a gap of about a centimeter.
His heart is filled with trepidation. It cannot be Yunho that made this, because the man would have said something, surely? His breath is a little laboured, as anxiety suddenly pours through him. He has a horrid feeling that he will hate whatever it is he finds behind that little door, but at the same time, he knows he has to open it. It is almost akin to walking into a tiger’s cage and expecting not to be eaten. He knows something bad is waiting for him, but yet he cannot help but step into it.
Jaejoong slips a finger behind the door, and pulls it, surprised at the strong hinge the door has. It is spring loaded, and if he lets go, it will swing shut to leave that same tiny gap. He pulls the door open slowly, finding a pile of items within it. There are seven black cases, that look like they hold DVDs, a leather-bound journal, and a jewelry box. He picks up the box first as it is sitting at the top, letting the door go as he needs both hands to open it. He is surprised to find that it contains a key, nestled in its groove, with a card on top of it with the name of a bank, and a 16-digit password made up of numbers and letters.
3U2596U5U649U646
He stares at it, recognising the name of the bank, and realising what the key is. It is a safe deposit box. His heart is thumping madly in his chest, and he wants nothing more than to call Yunho to tell him of his discovery, but something stays his hand. He will not give the man false hope. He has to find out what the box contains first. He closes the lid of the box, putting it to the side before opening the door again to retrieve the stack of cases, as well as the blood red journal. There is no doubt in his mind that it all belongs to Sun Ye. He closes the door carefully, pushing it till he hears a click and the now empty hiding place is once again sealed.
He picks up the items he’s found, and heads out of the closet, suddenly desperate for some light. He looks over at the bed, relieved to find that Jiyool still appears to be dead asleep. He goes over to her, kissing the baby girl, and then checking that her baby monitor is working, before pocketing a receiver and heading out, to get as far away from the baby as possible. He goes into Yunho’s study, shutting the door behind him and turning on every single light he possibly can. It is still daylight, and the room is bright from the bank of windows alongside one wall but he doesn’t feel like it is enough.
After the room is lit enough to his satisfaction, he collapses in a heap in front of the television in the room. He sits cross legged, dumping the items he has found next to him. His hand shakes as he picks up one of the DVD cases, opening it, to reveal a silver disk with no markings on it.
He stares at it, as if expecting it to jump up and bite him. But of course it doesn’t. He has no idea how long he sits there staring at it, but he finally moves to turn the television on, as well as the DVD player. He pops the player open, and it is a real struggle for him to take the disc out from its box. He feels like the universe is crying and telling him not to do it. His gut is clenching painfully in protest, his entire being telling him not to do it.
But he has to.
He bites his lip, fortifying himself as he finally pops the disc from the box and puts it in the player, closing it. And then he waits. A menu pops up immediately, the background blood red. The menu is filled with names. Twenty in total, and he recognises both male and female names. The music is a beautiful violin piece that he doesn’t recognise, but the very beauty of the sound is juxtaposed by the growing feeling of unease he feels. The music doesn’t soothe him. It makes him feel even worse. He picks a name at random, a male name.
Screams fill his ears, even though he has made sure to turn the sound down on the television. His eyes are large, and tears gather slowly as he watches the horror before his eyes. He wants to look away, and yet he cannot. The sickness of Sun Ye is beyond anything he can imagine. The clip is short, but it is enough. At the end of it, the menu comes back up, the violin piece searing his soul, his face is now wet with tears. His hand is shaking violently as he moves to select a female name this time.
There are no screams, but only because the girl is gagged. He can hear her pained moans though, and the insane cackling of the beautiful woman on the screen as she carves up the girl’s chest. Sun Ye is nude, her white skin is covered in streaks of blood that is not her own. Jaejoong swallows the bile that rises to his throat as the woman actually moves to pick up the camera, to pan towards her handiwork.
I AM A SLUT
The clip ends with her laughter echoing around the room, as she mocks the tortured girl beneath her, and Jaejoong curls over, forehead to the ground in prostration, whimpering in pain as he hugs himself.
AN: Deep breaths…
Chapter 18