Jejuko [15/15]
Title: Jejuko
Pairing: YunJae + side!YooSu
Rating: PG-13 - R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance
Warning: Gender switch
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here :P
Summary: How far will Jaejoong go to catch the attention of kingka, Jung Yunho?
AN1: This is the end, folks… I’m feeling emoCHUNal ;_______; A great many thanks to all the people who have gotten me to this point through encouragement and cheerleading as well as content details, in particular Felicity, Catherine and my twin Nicole. THANK YOU SO MUCH ;-) And well, apart from the possible one shot I mentioned in Chapter 9, I have no plans at all to write a sequel or side shots or anything like that… :3
AN2: Unbeta-ed and all mistakes are mine. Please be gentle...
Jejuko brushes her hair off her forehead nervously as she eyes the clock. 20:53 the green lit numbers taunt her. She has till 5am tomorrow morning to sort this out. She has no idea where to even begin. A horrid knot has formed in her belly especially after her argument with Yoochun. He had said a great many words as she readied herself for her date and she would be lying if she said his words have not sunk in. The traitor had even roped in Changmin and Sooyoung and all their very loud words feel like they are still echoing in the empty dorm room. Even now, they are hammering at her head, at her brain, trying to push past that great big mental barrier she has constructed out of her own assumptions and insecurities. She hates being wrong and her friends’ systematic list of everything Yunho has done in the last two weeks is starting to resonate. When it was just Yoochun talking, she had dismissed it, albeit unfairly, the excuse she tells herself being that he might be too close and therefore biased because of his relationship with Junsu. She really should not have done that but the damage is done and this mess is really her own self-creation.
She cannot use the same excuse for the tall couple though because Changmin takes great pleasure in pointing out when someone is acting illogical, and Sooyoung is a little too forthright to dissemble over something like this and both of them seconded and thirded her best friend’s statements. In fact, Sooyoung had a rather violent go at Yoochun, chasing him around with a hairbrush, for still having the pills and had turned the entire room upside down and flushed every single one down the toilet. Jejuko had tried to protest but one look from Changmin had the words die on her lips. When did her friends get so fierce? Their words are almost repetitive, all three using the same terms. Changmin especially, was very persuasive.
Look at you and Yoochun hyung. Can you see how close you two are? The way you cuddle sometimes in public? How he gnaws on your shoulder and arm sometimes and you smack him in annoyance? How you lay your head on his shoulder when you’re tired and how he lies in your lap when you two are studying out on the lawn in front of your dormitory block? And how you two think nothing about holding hands? You don’t deny you do this, right? Everyone is used to it by now. Well, in the last two weeks, Yunho hyung has done all that and more. More because you don’t laugh affectionately when he does it or lash out at him out of irritation for his clingy behaviour. Instead, you tacitly accept it and he keeps pushing for more. His hand is almost permanently glued to either your waist or your upper thigh. At least Yoochun hyung is not always touching you. In fact, despite your tactile relationship, you don’t actually touch as much as you might think. But Yunho hyung is practically glued to your side. How can you see this, and think it is normal behaviour? Really, hyung…noona…whatever.
Has Jaejoong really been that blind?
She mentally goes over the last time she’d been out with Yunho last Saturday after the game. He had seemed a little distant, kissing her but not wanting to go further than that. To be honest, she was extremely confused about it at the time but hadn’t voiced her worries to Yoochun since he had not been very happy with her for wanting to switch in the first place. She remembers thinking that Yunho seemed to treat Jaejoong better than he treats Jejuko. Apart from the kissing, she had actually preferred the way Yunho is with Jaejoong.
She lets out a loud, long yawn as she looks at the clock again. 20:57. Time is absolutely crawling for some reason. She’s just little frustrated because she had asked to meet at seven but Yunho had asked for a later time and insisted on picking her up. That threw her into a brief panic, and in that panic, told him to pick her up from Yoochun’s. She’s already there after all, and if the man thought her request strange, he did not remark upon it. She cannot very well have him pick her up at Jaejoong’s now can she? She looks over at the clock again, and barely a minute has passed. He is never early, but he is reasonably punctual and she expects him to turn up within the next ten minutes at the latest. She has insane butterflies in her belly, and no way of calming them. She’s already taken her limit of tylenol to keep the headaches at bay, and now she’s feeling extremely sleepy.
A quiet rap on the door jolts her from her drowsing. She looks at the clock and is surprised to see that it says 21:03. She’s practically fallen asleep on her feet. This really doesn’t bode well for tonight. Jejuko hopes that she will be able to converse with Yunho properly without sounding like a complete loony tune. She tends to get a little high and giggly when sleep deprived, and tonight really isn’t the best night to be sleep deprived. She pouts mutinously as she recalls Yoochun’s warning. To end this deception, because there will be no more Switch. Well, clearly there won’t be anymore because Sooyoung has actual threatened physical harm if she even tries to look for a source herself and this was seconded by the other two men, and she knows not to take threats from Sooyoung lightly. She may be able to gainsay Yoochun or manipulate him into submission, but Changmin and Sooyoung are another kettle of fish altogether. Jejuko knows that they are looking out for her well-being and deep down, she knows she has to stop. However, despite Jejuko probably never seeing the light of day again, she has no intention of telling Yunho that she is actually Jaejoong. Not tonight anyway. She is going to break whatever it is they have off. Telling Yunho that Jejuko is Jaejoong can come later. Tomorrow even. Or Sunday. Preferably after 24 hours of sleep. Her brain is too fried to be able to deal with ‘that’ tonight. One step at a time, she tells herself, desperately trying to convince herself that this is the right course, as she opens the door for Yunho.
xoxx
“A movie? Why a movie?” Jejuko is slightly annoyed, not wanting to spend her last night with Yunho watching some stupid action movie. She is getting irritable from the lack of sleep, and more so from the lack of touching on Yunho’s part. They had a rather awkward dinner, with Jejuko trying to initiate conversation, but Yunho appearing rather distracted. Most of his replies have been lackluster hums as he pushes the food around on his plate, and when he does look at her, she feels like he is looking right through her. Jejuko had to practically sit in Yunho’s lap to be able to get any attention from him. As far as touching goes, it has definitely been a bung night so far.
“I’ve had a long day and I need something to relax my mind. Please, Jae?”
Odd, but to Jejuko, it sounded like he said ‘Jae’, which in itself isn’t all that weird but he’s never abbreviated her name before, but he has with Jaejoong. She shakes her head at the errant thought, crossing her arms annoyedly, and just huffs in irritation, turning to walk towards the movie theatre, her body rigid in her frustration.
Yunho watches her retreating back, sighing at her way she is carrying herself, knowing that she might be just a little displeased with his choice of evening entertainment. He follows her at a slower pace, hands in his pockets and deep in thought. He has no clue how to do this, and he really is tired. Both physically and emotionally. Especially emotionally. Who knew deciding to come clean about everything would be so draining? He has no idea how Jaejoong is coping. Yunho hasn’t even done anything, mentally running through scenarios of what might happen till he is almost ready to scream, and it is all that thinking that is sapping his energy. He hopes he will be hit with an epiphany sooner rather than later. Whatever deity is listening, he hopes at least one of them helps them through the next 24 hours.
xoxx
“That was a really dumb movie, Yunnie.” Jejuko giggles sleepily. She is being carried bridal style through Yunho’s apartment, to his bedroom.
“How do you know? You were snoring through most of it.” Yunho chuckles affectionately down at the sleepy redhead as he presses a kiss to her brow, grinning at her indignant huff.
“A lady does not snore! And I’m most certainly a lady!” Jejuko declares with a sleepy pout before whining in protest as Yunho lays her gently on his bed, and disentangles her arms from around his neck. “Well, I’m a lady tonight anyway. Maybe not tomorrow. Will you still like me then?” She lays back on the bed and closes her eyes, not waiting for an answer, nor seeing the stunned look on Yunho’s face.
Yunho stares for awhile at her still form, wanting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He sighs softly, turning to leave the room to close up.
When Yunho returns from locking the front door and setting the alarm, he finds that Jejuko has moved and is now sound asleep in the middle of his bed. He glances at the clock on his bedside table, noting that it is almost one in the morning. He strips down to his boxers, and pulls a pair of sweats on even though he normally sleeps naked. He then rearranges Jejuko in his bed so that she is under the covers instead of on them, taking off her cardigan, but he leaves the rest of her clothes on. She is wearing jeans and a simple tank top, of which is he thankful for. It will be less of a shock for Jaejoong when he wakes up.
He sighs, the sound is loud in the silence but Jejuko doesn’t stir, watching the peaceful form of the ethereal girl in his bed. Her hair is a stark contrast to her pale skin that practically glows in the dim light of his bedside lamp. Her mouth is pursed into a pout, and her brow slightly furrowed, and he wants nothing more than to ease her worries even though he knows he is the very reason for her troubles. His eyes travel down that long graceful neck he remembers marking, and lower still over her soft curves. He can see the outline of her pierced nipple and it says a lot about his mental state when there is no familiar tug of desire accompanying that observation. That piercing on Jaejoong though, is another matter altogether, and the image of that does instigate a pull low in his belly.
He climbs into bed, careful not to jostle the sleeping beauty, cracking a smile when the girl immediately turns into him, wrapping her long limbs around his body. He presses a soft kiss to her temple, inhaling her scent. Inhaling Jaejoong’s scent because despite everything, she still smells like him. He turns the light off, and closes his eyes, dozing off to this little bite of comfort, hoping that he will still have his own piece of heaven when he wakes to the form of an angelic man.
xoxx
Jaejoong stirs, a little disorientated. His head is thankfully not aching and that throws him off a little because he has woken with a headache almost every morning this week. However, he is not going to stop and question this reprieve. He blinks, lifting a hand to try and rub the sleep away from his eyes. His movements are tiny, but clearly they are disruptive enough because he feels an arm tighten around his waist and he freezes. He looks down and strangles on the sound of dismay that bubbles in his throat when he sees a bare arm around him. A familiar bare arm. A bare arm hugging him.
Him.
Yes, it is morning and he is Jaejoong. He bites down on his knuckles, struggling hard, a tidal wave of desperation is drowning him and he feels like he will die in the onslaught. The pain is so acute that he would willingly trade a year’s worth of headaches if it means not feeling this. He can barely suck in a breath, chewing so desperately on his knuckles that he knows they will leave marks, but he barely feels it. He barely feels anything apart from the rush of scattered and panicked emotions running through him. How is he going to get out of this?
He draws in a deep and shaky breath, his heart thudding so painfully in his chest he is surprised it doesn’t wake Yunho. On the exhale though, the dam breaks and tears pour out as he waits for the anger and disgust that will undoubtably be heaped on him. However, in those thoughts of possible future derision from the man he loves, something else breaks in his mind since he really has nothing else to lose now. He recalls the words of his friends from last night, and he replays everything he remembers about Yunho over the last two weeks. The tears don’t subside. It is just the essence of them that changes. He is no longer crying because he is afraid of how Yunho will react to finding a man in his arms instead of the girl he went to sleep with. He is crying at his stupidity. Now that he has been inadvertently exposed for what he really is, that there is nothing else to hide, everything suddenly appears crystal clear in his head. Hindsight is 20/20 and Jaejoong wishes he was still blind because it hurts too much.
But surely it is too late for them. The deception gone too far. And this thought brings a fresh surge of tears, and he needs to get away. To get out. He needs to go.
Yunho is woken by a stifled sob, and someone trying to move his arm. He doesn’t open his eyes, cuddling the person closer instead, burying his nose in the soft, fragrant skin of the person’s neck, content at the familiar and comforting scent. Another sob breaks the silence, and cuts through his sleep-addled brain. Yunho blinks blearily as he draws back slightly, lifting his head to gaze down at the person in his arms. He runs his hand up the front of the body of the person in his arms, and finds no soft curves. He smiles sleepily, happily even since his brain is still not quite awake, and presses a kiss into the neck he was nuzzling just a minute earlier, his behaviour intuitive rather than mindful.
“What’s the matter, love?”
A loud sob is all the response he gets. Yunho is still more asleep than awake, and just a little horny as he presses his hips forward to get closer to the warm body, nudging his morning erection into the boy in his arms. Had he been just a little more alert, he would never have done so, but he is not quite yet in the higher functioning part of his brain just yet. To him, he is finally waking up with someone he loves in his arms, and hugging him is perfectly normal.
“Joongie…” Yunho murmurs against the back of Jaejoong’s neck, his hot breath ghosting along the shell of the delicately formed ear. Feminine in its size, and belonging to the most beautiful boy Yunho has ever known. His hand reaches down under the hem of Jaejoong’s tank top, and smoothing slowly up the planes of his abdominal muscles, to his chest, flicking playfully at his nipple ring.
Jaejoong lets out a soft gasp at the contact, frozen in surprise, too shocked to move, tears forgotten. Did he hear right?
“Joongie…baby…”
Yunho starts pressing sweet kisses along the back of Jaejoong’s neck. Moving slowly, gently, keeping his movements languid so as not to scare the boy in his arms, because his brain has finally woken up enough for him to be aware that he needs to tread very very carefully now.
“Will you turn around for me?”
His voice is low, husky, full of love and desire tinged with a little apprehension that he is trying to hide. He went to bed last night unsure and a little afraid as to what the morning will bring, but waking up to Jaejoong in his arms cements his determination that will make this right for them. There is no other option. He wants Jaejoong. He loves Jaejoong. All of him. And he really needs for the man to know that. He wants to wake up every morning with an armful of beautiful male.
Jaejoong has no idea what to do. Yunho is definitely calling him Joongie, not Jejuko. His mind is confused, but his heart wants to believe. He is desperate to believe. He has nothing else to lose. The hope in his heart overrules the confusion in his mind, as he turns slowly within the protective circle of Yunho’s arm to meet the eyes of the man he loves. As his shy, tear-filled eyes meets sleepy ones, he realises something. There is no anger, no derision, no accusation, nothing negative at all in Yunho’s eyes. A tear slips out as he stares into those eyes, their soft gaze on him. Eyes that are filled with…love?
Yunho reaches up and strokes away the tear with his thumb. He presses his forehead against Jaejoong’s and speaks against his lips as he wraps his arm around the man, anchoring him in place.
“I knew who you were. That night of the contest. The stone in your palm. I recognised it, and your answer to my question as to where you got it, confirmed it.”
Jaejoong is silent. Waiting for Yunho to continue. He is unsure as to what to say. What can he say? He breathes against Yunho’s lips, licking his own dry lips nervously, and catching at Yunho’s pouty bottom lip, flicking it.
Yunho sucks in a breath at the inadvertent contact, desperately craving more, but knowing he has to clear things up first.
“I’ve known it was you all along. I felt something that afternoon we met. And when I met Jejuko later that day, I felt the same spark I felt with you when we touched. I know you felt it too.”
Jaejoong can only nod, still mute. His brain and his heart are at war. His brain says Yunho deceived him somehow and he should get mad about it, but his heart points out that he deceived him too, and really, is the possible conclusion to this mess of epic proportions really all that bad? Two wrongs don’t make a right but sometimes exceptions have to be made. He nuzzles against Yunho’s nose, indicating for the man to continue with his explanation.
Feeling a little heartened by the lack of screaming and name-calling, heart swelling a little at the brief caress from Jaejoong, Yunho continues.
“I didn’t know you were Jejuko till Sunday when I saw the mark on your hand. I slept with you as Jejuko, but I knew you were Jaejoong the whole time. I was confused at the time about how I felt about the whole thing, but a week later, I realised that I really don’t care what you prefer to be. I love you. As Jaejoong, and as Jejuko. But if I could choose, I pick Jaejoong. Will you be mine, Jaejoong?”
Yunho stops and leans back, away from Jaejoong, to get a better look at his face. Wondering if he’ll get a punch or a kiss. He gets neither as Jaejoong bursts into rather loud sobs, and throws himself on top of Yunho, knocking him onto his back as Jaejoong buries his face in Yunho’s neck, sobbing as if the world is ending. Yunho does the best he can in this situation, rubbing a soothing hand across Jaejoong’s back and shoulders, pressing kisses to his head as the boy he loves cries his eyes out against him. Yunho feels the hot tears streaming down his neck, and he hurts, knowing that he is the cause of those tears. He has no idea how to soothe Jaejoong, and he hopes he will be forgiven eventually for his own deception. He doesn’t even want to consider the possibility that he won’t.
They lie there for a long while, Jaejoong having cried himself to sleep. Yunho is content to hold him, uncaring about his own aches and pains at staying in the same position for too long with the weight of another person on him. He does not know if this will be the last time he will be able to hold the beautiful man and he will take what he can. He stares up at the ceiling, watching the rays of sunlight play across the white paint, the angle of the light indicating to him that it is late morning. His hands gently stroke up and down Jaejoong’s back as he waits, his heart sinking as more time passes. His eyes prickle with his own tears as he thinks about all the possible scenarios that may play out once Jaejoong wakes up once again. The one scenario that leaves him utterly bereft, is one where Jaejoong never forgives him.
Yunho is unsure how much time has passed, but Jaejoong finally stirs, lifting up his head to look down at him. Liquid doe eyes meet apprehensive almond ones. Yunho stares at Jaejoong, waiting for a reaction.
Jaejoong sees the fear in Yunho’s eyes, and the wetness around his lashes does not go unnoticed either. His heart is pounding hard, and he doesn’t know if he will be able to form the words. He lifts up a hand to softly stroke Yunho’s cheek with the back of it, the prickliness of his jawline against his sensitive skin sending a sudden bolt of desire shooting through him. He temps it down though, content and reveling in being able to touch the man as he is. He traces his features, fingers skimming lightly over his cheekbones, nose, forehead, even his eyelids when Yunho closes his eyes, before he starts tracing the outline of Yunho’s perfect cupid bow lips. His mind plays back Yunho’s words to him, and he realises that all of Yunho’s interest in him as Jaejoong for the past two weeks, was really for him. He cannot even start to blame Yunho for sleeping with Jejuko because it was him who pushed for it. It has almost been a comedy of errors, mostly his own doing, too fixated on the assumption that Yunho would never want him as a male.
A sudden memory strikes him just then, and his fingers still over Yunho’s soft lips. The man beneath him opens his eyes, his gaze wary yet curious, and perhaps even hopeful. Jaejoong takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly as they stare at each other.
“You love me.”
It is not a question, but a statement. Yunho’s almost offhand confession earlier practically going unnoticed under the mountain of explanations. Jaejoong is done being stupid though. This man he has been longing for is lying beneath him, and his for the taking. How they get to this point is now moot. The ends don’t always justify the means, but Yunho doesn’t hate him for his deception, and he in turn cannot even begin to bring himself to blame Yunho for his.
“You love me…”
Jaejoong’s voice is wistful, as he marvels at the fact. His finger once again starting their looping trek on Yunho’s mouth, his eyes are shining as he smiles down at the man.
Yunho has never seen anything more beautiful. His heart is beating wildly, skipping every now and again he feels, as he breathes in Jaejoong’s scent. He has a few questions running around in his head, and he wonders if this is the right time to ask. He doesn’t want that light to go from Jaejoong’s eyes, but he feels that in the interest of full disclosure and no more misunderstandings, he needs to ask.
“Yes, I love you.”
He smiles as Jaejoong blushes in the light, he reaches up his own hand, cupping the beautiful man’s cheek, his heart soaring when Jaejoong leans into his touch, closing his eyes and making a soft sound in his throat. He is practically vibrating and Yunho has to stop himself from chuckling at the adorable sight.
“Are you purring?”
Jaejoong’s eyes fly open, and he knows he is probably fire engine red. The amusement and softness in Yunho’s eyes is something he cannot resist and so to distract himself from his embarrassment, he leans forward and presses their lips together, licking tentatively, and moaning when Yunho immediately opens his mouth to let him in. The kiss is soft and undemanding, not unlike their kisses in the car when he was Jejuko. But he isn’t her. He is Jaejoong, and Yunho is sucking on his tongue as Jaejoong. The enormity of it is slowly hitting him, and as the realisation pours through his body, a corresponding sound emits from his throat as he moans his pleasure and relief softly. He scoots higher on Yunho, wrapping his arms around his neck as he deepens their kiss. He can feel Yunho’s hands roaming up and down his back, skimming the tops of his jeans, but never delving lower.
He pulls back just enough to whisper against that pliant mouth, slick with his saliva.
“Clothes…too many clothes.”
Yunho groans at the words, knowing what Jaejoong wants, but he really thinks they need to talk first. However, he cannot resist slipping his hand into the top of Jaejoong’s waistband, fingers massaging his bare bottom.
“You’re not wearing underwear?”
Jaejoong draws back, pouting slightly before moving a little more, dropping his head and burying his heated face in the crook of Yunho’s neck. He opens his mouth against his throat, his words are soft, his lips a gentle caress across sensitive skin as he answers the question.
“No…i’m a boy. I didn’t want to wake up again wearing panties. It’s definitely nowhere on my list of kinks.”
“You have a list?”
Jaejoong growls, refusing to be embarrassed, lifting his head, his moue pronounced because his lips are moist and so very lush.
“Don’t tease.”
“But you’re so adorable when you blush. I love it when the colour rises in your cheeks, and you get this shy look in your eyes, but yet you can still be quite brazen. I’m talking about when you are Jaejoong, not Jejuko by the way.”
Yunho removes a hand from its rather pleasurable exploration of the top of Jaejoong’s ass to push away at his copper fringe, wanting to look into Jaejoong’s eyes and true enough, the shyness is there, along with sparks of something else. He takes a deep breath, it really is now or never. Judging by the hardness he feels against his belly, and his own stirring cock after their kisses, he knows they will be derailed shortly if he doesn’t focus. He wants an answer, but he doesn’t want to scare him away. His other hand now has a firm grip around Jaejoong’s waist, and he pauses briefly to appreciate his delicateness. Why would he want a girl when he can have Jaejoong? His large hand spans his mid-section easily, while the other hand cards through his hair, Jaejoong once again leaning into his touch, a happy purr deep in his throat.
“Jaejoong, I love you. And I need to know why. Why did you switch?”
He winces inwardly as the boy freezes, but he doesn’t pull away. He watches as Jaejoong takes a deep shuddering breath, eyes never leaving his.
“You. I wanted you and I thought it was the only way to get to you. I thought maybe, that once I had you, I could live with never having you. But I couldn’t. It got worse, and the way you were with me during the day made me want you even more. It hurt so much not being able to touch you. I died a little inside each time I had to stop myself from nuzzling against your cheek as you rested your chin on my shoulder, or to rub your arms when you hugged me from behind, or even just to initiate a touch.”
Yunho opens his mouth as if to speak but Jaejoong’s places a palm gently over his mouth and shakes his head.
“I know how blind I was. Yoochun, Changmin and Sooyoung spent a good two hours lecturing me last night. I’m sorry I missed all your signs. Actions speak louder than words, and yours were loud and clear to everyone, but I was on the wrong frequency. I finally fixed the frequency last night, but I was already Jejuko. I was going to tell you I couldn’t see you anymore last night, but I think after that mindless movie, I couldn’t keep a straight thought in my head. I couldn’t tell you I was Jaejoong while being Jejuko, and I never intended to tell you last night. But please believe me when I say that I was going to tell you before this weekend was over.”
Jaejoong removes his palm from Yunho’s mouth, sighing as Yunho slips his hand from his waist and back down to cup the gentle swell of his ass. He hears what Jaejoong is saying, he understands it, but he needs a little more. Just a tiny bit more, and he hopes he will get it.
“Why, Joongie? Why?”
He knows the question is completely and utterly vague, but he has laid himself out there, and he truly believes they need to get it right this time. No more mixed signals or being on different wavelengths. He needs them to be on the same page and he needs to know… And deep down, although he knows the answer, he needs to hear it. He needs Jaejoong.
Jaejoong sees the emotion passing through Yunho’s dark almond eyes. Eyes that are looking at him as if he’s the only one who matters. And he intuitively knows what Yunho is asking, even though his question can be construed in any manner. He no longer has anything to lose but everything to gain.
“Remember your question? Asking me if I will be yours?”
Yunho nods, holding his breath when Jaejoong’s face breaks into a soft smile, an affectionate smile, a smile full of…love.
“I’ve always been yours. I was yours when I first saw you, and I stayed yours the more I found out about you, and I was totally lost in the last two weeks. I fell in love with you from a distance, never expecting you would ever look twice at me.”
“Joongie…” Yunho exhales the name, heart stuttering as Jaejoong bends his head, giving him an Eskimo kiss, as they breathe in each other.
“I love you, too.”
AN: This has been an amazing ride for me. I’ve really enjoyed writing this, especially when my muse was cooperating. I can’t believe this is the end. I don’t want it to be, but it has to be. As I mentioned in my AN up top, I don’t have any plans for sequels or other out takes or one shots around this ‘verse so please don’t ask because it will probably break my heart. However, there will be a bonus chapter or one shot of sorts of #UKNOWTIME lmao. I wanted to write it today but I’m bogged down with work and really not in the mood for “making love”. This story is completed, for all intents and purposes.
To all the silent readers out there, do drop me a comment so I can thank you for reading this. This was a fic waaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone to write (since I really dislike gender switch fics and would personally not read this OTL), and I appreciate every single one of you for taking the time to read this and giving it a chance. Gender bender/switch fics are not very popular (to me) so for this to get the love it’s received over the last five months is rather humbling.
Ok long AN is long. I’ll end by saying that Darkness Eyes is forever “ruined” for me. I literally cannot listen to that song without doing the lap dance routine at certain parts. And I have no regrets!!! Even though most of the time this occurs while I’m in public, in my office… OTL
Pairing: YunJae + side!YooSu
Rating: PG-13 - R
Length: Chaptered
Genre: AU, fluff, romance
Warning: Gender switch
Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the story. I wish I had YunJae and if I had my way, they'd move to New Zealand so they can be civil-unionised here :P
Summary: How far will Jaejoong go to catch the attention of kingka, Jung Yunho?
AN1: This is the end, folks… I’m feeling emoCHUNal ;_______; A great many thanks to all the people who have gotten me to this point through encouragement and cheerleading as well as content details, in particular Felicity, Catherine and my twin Nicole. THANK YOU SO MUCH ;-) And well, apart from the possible one shot I mentioned in Chapter 9, I have no plans at all to write a sequel or side shots or anything like that… :3
AN2: Unbeta-ed and all mistakes are mine. Please be gentle...
Jejuko brushes her hair off her forehead nervously as she eyes the clock. 20:53 the green lit numbers taunt her. She has till 5am tomorrow morning to sort this out. She has no idea where to even begin. A horrid knot has formed in her belly especially after her argument with Yoochun. He had said a great many words as she readied herself for her date and she would be lying if she said his words have not sunk in. The traitor had even roped in Changmin and Sooyoung and all their very loud words feel like they are still echoing in the empty dorm room. Even now, they are hammering at her head, at her brain, trying to push past that great big mental barrier she has constructed out of her own assumptions and insecurities. She hates being wrong and her friends’ systematic list of everything Yunho has done in the last two weeks is starting to resonate. When it was just Yoochun talking, she had dismissed it, albeit unfairly, the excuse she tells herself being that he might be too close and therefore biased because of his relationship with Junsu. She really should not have done that but the damage is done and this mess is really her own self-creation.
She cannot use the same excuse for the tall couple though because Changmin takes great pleasure in pointing out when someone is acting illogical, and Sooyoung is a little too forthright to dissemble over something like this and both of them seconded and thirded her best friend’s statements. In fact, Sooyoung had a rather violent go at Yoochun, chasing him around with a hairbrush, for still having the pills and had turned the entire room upside down and flushed every single one down the toilet. Jejuko had tried to protest but one look from Changmin had the words die on her lips. When did her friends get so fierce? Their words are almost repetitive, all three using the same terms. Changmin especially, was very persuasive.
Look at you and Yoochun hyung. Can you see how close you two are? The way you cuddle sometimes in public? How he gnaws on your shoulder and arm sometimes and you smack him in annoyance? How you lay your head on his shoulder when you’re tired and how he lies in your lap when you two are studying out on the lawn in front of your dormitory block? And how you two think nothing about holding hands? You don’t deny you do this, right? Everyone is used to it by now. Well, in the last two weeks, Yunho hyung has done all that and more. More because you don’t laugh affectionately when he does it or lash out at him out of irritation for his clingy behaviour. Instead, you tacitly accept it and he keeps pushing for more. His hand is almost permanently glued to either your waist or your upper thigh. At least Yoochun hyung is not always touching you. In fact, despite your tactile relationship, you don’t actually touch as much as you might think. But Yunho hyung is practically glued to your side. How can you see this, and think it is normal behaviour? Really, hyung…noona…whatever.
Has Jaejoong really been that blind?
She mentally goes over the last time she’d been out with Yunho last Saturday after the game. He had seemed a little distant, kissing her but not wanting to go further than that. To be honest, she was extremely confused about it at the time but hadn’t voiced her worries to Yoochun since he had not been very happy with her for wanting to switch in the first place. She remembers thinking that Yunho seemed to treat Jaejoong better than he treats Jejuko. Apart from the kissing, she had actually preferred the way Yunho is with Jaejoong.
She lets out a loud, long yawn as she looks at the clock again. 20:57. Time is absolutely crawling for some reason. She’s just little frustrated because she had asked to meet at seven but Yunho had asked for a later time and insisted on picking her up. That threw her into a brief panic, and in that panic, told him to pick her up from Yoochun’s. She’s already there after all, and if the man thought her request strange, he did not remark upon it. She cannot very well have him pick her up at Jaejoong’s now can she? She looks over at the clock again, and barely a minute has passed. He is never early, but he is reasonably punctual and she expects him to turn up within the next ten minutes at the latest. She has insane butterflies in her belly, and no way of calming them. She’s already taken her limit of tylenol to keep the headaches at bay, and now she’s feeling extremely sleepy.
A quiet rap on the door jolts her from her drowsing. She looks at the clock and is surprised to see that it says 21:03. She’s practically fallen asleep on her feet. This really doesn’t bode well for tonight. Jejuko hopes that she will be able to converse with Yunho properly without sounding like a complete loony tune. She tends to get a little high and giggly when sleep deprived, and tonight really isn’t the best night to be sleep deprived. She pouts mutinously as she recalls Yoochun’s warning. To end this deception, because there will be no more Switch. Well, clearly there won’t be anymore because Sooyoung has actual threatened physical harm if she even tries to look for a source herself and this was seconded by the other two men, and she knows not to take threats from Sooyoung lightly. She may be able to gainsay Yoochun or manipulate him into submission, but Changmin and Sooyoung are another kettle of fish altogether. Jejuko knows that they are looking out for her well-being and deep down, she knows she has to stop. However, despite Jejuko probably never seeing the light of day again, she has no intention of telling Yunho that she is actually Jaejoong. Not tonight anyway. She is going to break whatever it is they have off. Telling Yunho that Jejuko is Jaejoong can come later. Tomorrow even. Or Sunday. Preferably after 24 hours of sleep. Her brain is too fried to be able to deal with ‘that’ tonight. One step at a time, she tells herself, desperately trying to convince herself that this is the right course, as she opens the door for Yunho.
xoxx
“A movie? Why a movie?” Jejuko is slightly annoyed, not wanting to spend her last night with Yunho watching some stupid action movie. She is getting irritable from the lack of sleep, and more so from the lack of touching on Yunho’s part. They had a rather awkward dinner, with Jejuko trying to initiate conversation, but Yunho appearing rather distracted. Most of his replies have been lackluster hums as he pushes the food around on his plate, and when he does look at her, she feels like he is looking right through her. Jejuko had to practically sit in Yunho’s lap to be able to get any attention from him. As far as touching goes, it has definitely been a bung night so far.
“I’ve had a long day and I need something to relax my mind. Please, Jae?”
Odd, but to Jejuko, it sounded like he said ‘Jae’, which in itself isn’t all that weird but he’s never abbreviated her name before, but he has with Jaejoong. She shakes her head at the errant thought, crossing her arms annoyedly, and just huffs in irritation, turning to walk towards the movie theatre, her body rigid in her frustration.
Yunho watches her retreating back, sighing at her way she is carrying herself, knowing that she might be just a little displeased with his choice of evening entertainment. He follows her at a slower pace, hands in his pockets and deep in thought. He has no clue how to do this, and he really is tired. Both physically and emotionally. Especially emotionally. Who knew deciding to come clean about everything would be so draining? He has no idea how Jaejoong is coping. Yunho hasn’t even done anything, mentally running through scenarios of what might happen till he is almost ready to scream, and it is all that thinking that is sapping his energy. He hopes he will be hit with an epiphany sooner rather than later. Whatever deity is listening, he hopes at least one of them helps them through the next 24 hours.
xoxx
“That was a really dumb movie, Yunnie.” Jejuko giggles sleepily. She is being carried bridal style through Yunho’s apartment, to his bedroom.
“How do you know? You were snoring through most of it.” Yunho chuckles affectionately down at the sleepy redhead as he presses a kiss to her brow, grinning at her indignant huff.
“A lady does not snore! And I’m most certainly a lady!” Jejuko declares with a sleepy pout before whining in protest as Yunho lays her gently on his bed, and disentangles her arms from around his neck. “Well, I’m a lady tonight anyway. Maybe not tomorrow. Will you still like me then?” She lays back on the bed and closes her eyes, not waiting for an answer, nor seeing the stunned look on Yunho’s face.
Yunho stares for awhile at her still form, wanting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He sighs softly, turning to leave the room to close up.
When Yunho returns from locking the front door and setting the alarm, he finds that Jejuko has moved and is now sound asleep in the middle of his bed. He glances at the clock on his bedside table, noting that it is almost one in the morning. He strips down to his boxers, and pulls a pair of sweats on even though he normally sleeps naked. He then rearranges Jejuko in his bed so that she is under the covers instead of on them, taking off her cardigan, but he leaves the rest of her clothes on. She is wearing jeans and a simple tank top, of which is he thankful for. It will be less of a shock for Jaejoong when he wakes up.
He sighs, the sound is loud in the silence but Jejuko doesn’t stir, watching the peaceful form of the ethereal girl in his bed. Her hair is a stark contrast to her pale skin that practically glows in the dim light of his bedside lamp. Her mouth is pursed into a pout, and her brow slightly furrowed, and he wants nothing more than to ease her worries even though he knows he is the very reason for her troubles. His eyes travel down that long graceful neck he remembers marking, and lower still over her soft curves. He can see the outline of her pierced nipple and it says a lot about his mental state when there is no familiar tug of desire accompanying that observation. That piercing on Jaejoong though, is another matter altogether, and the image of that does instigate a pull low in his belly.
He climbs into bed, careful not to jostle the sleeping beauty, cracking a smile when the girl immediately turns into him, wrapping her long limbs around his body. He presses a soft kiss to her temple, inhaling her scent. Inhaling Jaejoong’s scent because despite everything, she still smells like him. He turns the light off, and closes his eyes, dozing off to this little bite of comfort, hoping that he will still have his own piece of heaven when he wakes to the form of an angelic man.
xoxx
Jaejoong stirs, a little disorientated. His head is thankfully not aching and that throws him off a little because he has woken with a headache almost every morning this week. However, he is not going to stop and question this reprieve. He blinks, lifting a hand to try and rub the sleep away from his eyes. His movements are tiny, but clearly they are disruptive enough because he feels an arm tighten around his waist and he freezes. He looks down and strangles on the sound of dismay that bubbles in his throat when he sees a bare arm around him. A familiar bare arm. A bare arm hugging him.
Him.
Yes, it is morning and he is Jaejoong. He bites down on his knuckles, struggling hard, a tidal wave of desperation is drowning him and he feels like he will die in the onslaught. The pain is so acute that he would willingly trade a year’s worth of headaches if it means not feeling this. He can barely suck in a breath, chewing so desperately on his knuckles that he knows they will leave marks, but he barely feels it. He barely feels anything apart from the rush of scattered and panicked emotions running through him. How is he going to get out of this?
He draws in a deep and shaky breath, his heart thudding so painfully in his chest he is surprised it doesn’t wake Yunho. On the exhale though, the dam breaks and tears pour out as he waits for the anger and disgust that will undoubtably be heaped on him. However, in those thoughts of possible future derision from the man he loves, something else breaks in his mind since he really has nothing else to lose now. He recalls the words of his friends from last night, and he replays everything he remembers about Yunho over the last two weeks. The tears don’t subside. It is just the essence of them that changes. He is no longer crying because he is afraid of how Yunho will react to finding a man in his arms instead of the girl he went to sleep with. He is crying at his stupidity. Now that he has been inadvertently exposed for what he really is, that there is nothing else to hide, everything suddenly appears crystal clear in his head. Hindsight is 20/20 and Jaejoong wishes he was still blind because it hurts too much.
But surely it is too late for them. The deception gone too far. And this thought brings a fresh surge of tears, and he needs to get away. To get out. He needs to go.
Yunho is woken by a stifled sob, and someone trying to move his arm. He doesn’t open his eyes, cuddling the person closer instead, burying his nose in the soft, fragrant skin of the person’s neck, content at the familiar and comforting scent. Another sob breaks the silence, and cuts through his sleep-addled brain. Yunho blinks blearily as he draws back slightly, lifting his head to gaze down at the person in his arms. He runs his hand up the front of the body of the person in his arms, and finds no soft curves. He smiles sleepily, happily even since his brain is still not quite awake, and presses a kiss into the neck he was nuzzling just a minute earlier, his behaviour intuitive rather than mindful.
“What’s the matter, love?”
A loud sob is all the response he gets. Yunho is still more asleep than awake, and just a little horny as he presses his hips forward to get closer to the warm body, nudging his morning erection into the boy in his arms. Had he been just a little more alert, he would never have done so, but he is not quite yet in the higher functioning part of his brain just yet. To him, he is finally waking up with someone he loves in his arms, and hugging him is perfectly normal.
“Joongie…” Yunho murmurs against the back of Jaejoong’s neck, his hot breath ghosting along the shell of the delicately formed ear. Feminine in its size, and belonging to the most beautiful boy Yunho has ever known. His hand reaches down under the hem of Jaejoong’s tank top, and smoothing slowly up the planes of his abdominal muscles, to his chest, flicking playfully at his nipple ring.
Jaejoong lets out a soft gasp at the contact, frozen in surprise, too shocked to move, tears forgotten. Did he hear right?
“Joongie…baby…”
Yunho starts pressing sweet kisses along the back of Jaejoong’s neck. Moving slowly, gently, keeping his movements languid so as not to scare the boy in his arms, because his brain has finally woken up enough for him to be aware that he needs to tread very very carefully now.
“Will you turn around for me?”
His voice is low, husky, full of love and desire tinged with a little apprehension that he is trying to hide. He went to bed last night unsure and a little afraid as to what the morning will bring, but waking up to Jaejoong in his arms cements his determination that will make this right for them. There is no other option. He wants Jaejoong. He loves Jaejoong. All of him. And he really needs for the man to know that. He wants to wake up every morning with an armful of beautiful male.
Jaejoong has no idea what to do. Yunho is definitely calling him Joongie, not Jejuko. His mind is confused, but his heart wants to believe. He is desperate to believe. He has nothing else to lose. The hope in his heart overrules the confusion in his mind, as he turns slowly within the protective circle of Yunho’s arm to meet the eyes of the man he loves. As his shy, tear-filled eyes meets sleepy ones, he realises something. There is no anger, no derision, no accusation, nothing negative at all in Yunho’s eyes. A tear slips out as he stares into those eyes, their soft gaze on him. Eyes that are filled with…love?
Yunho reaches up and strokes away the tear with his thumb. He presses his forehead against Jaejoong’s and speaks against his lips as he wraps his arm around the man, anchoring him in place.
“I knew who you were. That night of the contest. The stone in your palm. I recognised it, and your answer to my question as to where you got it, confirmed it.”
Jaejoong is silent. Waiting for Yunho to continue. He is unsure as to what to say. What can he say? He breathes against Yunho’s lips, licking his own dry lips nervously, and catching at Yunho’s pouty bottom lip, flicking it.
Yunho sucks in a breath at the inadvertent contact, desperately craving more, but knowing he has to clear things up first.
“I’ve known it was you all along. I felt something that afternoon we met. And when I met Jejuko later that day, I felt the same spark I felt with you when we touched. I know you felt it too.”
Jaejoong can only nod, still mute. His brain and his heart are at war. His brain says Yunho deceived him somehow and he should get mad about it, but his heart points out that he deceived him too, and really, is the possible conclusion to this mess of epic proportions really all that bad? Two wrongs don’t make a right but sometimes exceptions have to be made. He nuzzles against Yunho’s nose, indicating for the man to continue with his explanation.
Feeling a little heartened by the lack of screaming and name-calling, heart swelling a little at the brief caress from Jaejoong, Yunho continues.
“I didn’t know you were Jejuko till Sunday when I saw the mark on your hand. I slept with you as Jejuko, but I knew you were Jaejoong the whole time. I was confused at the time about how I felt about the whole thing, but a week later, I realised that I really don’t care what you prefer to be. I love you. As Jaejoong, and as Jejuko. But if I could choose, I pick Jaejoong. Will you be mine, Jaejoong?”
Yunho stops and leans back, away from Jaejoong, to get a better look at his face. Wondering if he’ll get a punch or a kiss. He gets neither as Jaejoong bursts into rather loud sobs, and throws himself on top of Yunho, knocking him onto his back as Jaejoong buries his face in Yunho’s neck, sobbing as if the world is ending. Yunho does the best he can in this situation, rubbing a soothing hand across Jaejoong’s back and shoulders, pressing kisses to his head as the boy he loves cries his eyes out against him. Yunho feels the hot tears streaming down his neck, and he hurts, knowing that he is the cause of those tears. He has no idea how to soothe Jaejoong, and he hopes he will be forgiven eventually for his own deception. He doesn’t even want to consider the possibility that he won’t.
They lie there for a long while, Jaejoong having cried himself to sleep. Yunho is content to hold him, uncaring about his own aches and pains at staying in the same position for too long with the weight of another person on him. He does not know if this will be the last time he will be able to hold the beautiful man and he will take what he can. He stares up at the ceiling, watching the rays of sunlight play across the white paint, the angle of the light indicating to him that it is late morning. His hands gently stroke up and down Jaejoong’s back as he waits, his heart sinking as more time passes. His eyes prickle with his own tears as he thinks about all the possible scenarios that may play out once Jaejoong wakes up once again. The one scenario that leaves him utterly bereft, is one where Jaejoong never forgives him.
Yunho is unsure how much time has passed, but Jaejoong finally stirs, lifting up his head to look down at him. Liquid doe eyes meet apprehensive almond ones. Yunho stares at Jaejoong, waiting for a reaction.
Jaejoong sees the fear in Yunho’s eyes, and the wetness around his lashes does not go unnoticed either. His heart is pounding hard, and he doesn’t know if he will be able to form the words. He lifts up a hand to softly stroke Yunho’s cheek with the back of it, the prickliness of his jawline against his sensitive skin sending a sudden bolt of desire shooting through him. He temps it down though, content and reveling in being able to touch the man as he is. He traces his features, fingers skimming lightly over his cheekbones, nose, forehead, even his eyelids when Yunho closes his eyes, before he starts tracing the outline of Yunho’s perfect cupid bow lips. His mind plays back Yunho’s words to him, and he realises that all of Yunho’s interest in him as Jaejoong for the past two weeks, was really for him. He cannot even start to blame Yunho for sleeping with Jejuko because it was him who pushed for it. It has almost been a comedy of errors, mostly his own doing, too fixated on the assumption that Yunho would never want him as a male.
A sudden memory strikes him just then, and his fingers still over Yunho’s soft lips. The man beneath him opens his eyes, his gaze wary yet curious, and perhaps even hopeful. Jaejoong takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly as they stare at each other.
“You love me.”
It is not a question, but a statement. Yunho’s almost offhand confession earlier practically going unnoticed under the mountain of explanations. Jaejoong is done being stupid though. This man he has been longing for is lying beneath him, and his for the taking. How they get to this point is now moot. The ends don’t always justify the means, but Yunho doesn’t hate him for his deception, and he in turn cannot even begin to bring himself to blame Yunho for his.
“You love me…”
Jaejoong’s voice is wistful, as he marvels at the fact. His finger once again starting their looping trek on Yunho’s mouth, his eyes are shining as he smiles down at the man.
Yunho has never seen anything more beautiful. His heart is beating wildly, skipping every now and again he feels, as he breathes in Jaejoong’s scent. He has a few questions running around in his head, and he wonders if this is the right time to ask. He doesn’t want that light to go from Jaejoong’s eyes, but he feels that in the interest of full disclosure and no more misunderstandings, he needs to ask.
“Yes, I love you.”
He smiles as Jaejoong blushes in the light, he reaches up his own hand, cupping the beautiful man’s cheek, his heart soaring when Jaejoong leans into his touch, closing his eyes and making a soft sound in his throat. He is practically vibrating and Yunho has to stop himself from chuckling at the adorable sight.
“Are you purring?”
Jaejoong’s eyes fly open, and he knows he is probably fire engine red. The amusement and softness in Yunho’s eyes is something he cannot resist and so to distract himself from his embarrassment, he leans forward and presses their lips together, licking tentatively, and moaning when Yunho immediately opens his mouth to let him in. The kiss is soft and undemanding, not unlike their kisses in the car when he was Jejuko. But he isn’t her. He is Jaejoong, and Yunho is sucking on his tongue as Jaejoong. The enormity of it is slowly hitting him, and as the realisation pours through his body, a corresponding sound emits from his throat as he moans his pleasure and relief softly. He scoots higher on Yunho, wrapping his arms around his neck as he deepens their kiss. He can feel Yunho’s hands roaming up and down his back, skimming the tops of his jeans, but never delving lower.
He pulls back just enough to whisper against that pliant mouth, slick with his saliva.
“Clothes…too many clothes.”
Yunho groans at the words, knowing what Jaejoong wants, but he really thinks they need to talk first. However, he cannot resist slipping his hand into the top of Jaejoong’s waistband, fingers massaging his bare bottom.
“You’re not wearing underwear?”
Jaejoong draws back, pouting slightly before moving a little more, dropping his head and burying his heated face in the crook of Yunho’s neck. He opens his mouth against his throat, his words are soft, his lips a gentle caress across sensitive skin as he answers the question.
“No…i’m a boy. I didn’t want to wake up again wearing panties. It’s definitely nowhere on my list of kinks.”
“You have a list?”
Jaejoong growls, refusing to be embarrassed, lifting his head, his moue pronounced because his lips are moist and so very lush.
“Don’t tease.”
“But you’re so adorable when you blush. I love it when the colour rises in your cheeks, and you get this shy look in your eyes, but yet you can still be quite brazen. I’m talking about when you are Jaejoong, not Jejuko by the way.”
Yunho removes a hand from its rather pleasurable exploration of the top of Jaejoong’s ass to push away at his copper fringe, wanting to look into Jaejoong’s eyes and true enough, the shyness is there, along with sparks of something else. He takes a deep breath, it really is now or never. Judging by the hardness he feels against his belly, and his own stirring cock after their kisses, he knows they will be derailed shortly if he doesn’t focus. He wants an answer, but he doesn’t want to scare him away. His other hand now has a firm grip around Jaejoong’s waist, and he pauses briefly to appreciate his delicateness. Why would he want a girl when he can have Jaejoong? His large hand spans his mid-section easily, while the other hand cards through his hair, Jaejoong once again leaning into his touch, a happy purr deep in his throat.
“Jaejoong, I love you. And I need to know why. Why did you switch?”
He winces inwardly as the boy freezes, but he doesn’t pull away. He watches as Jaejoong takes a deep shuddering breath, eyes never leaving his.
“You. I wanted you and I thought it was the only way to get to you. I thought maybe, that once I had you, I could live with never having you. But I couldn’t. It got worse, and the way you were with me during the day made me want you even more. It hurt so much not being able to touch you. I died a little inside each time I had to stop myself from nuzzling against your cheek as you rested your chin on my shoulder, or to rub your arms when you hugged me from behind, or even just to initiate a touch.”
Yunho opens his mouth as if to speak but Jaejoong’s places a palm gently over his mouth and shakes his head.
“I know how blind I was. Yoochun, Changmin and Sooyoung spent a good two hours lecturing me last night. I’m sorry I missed all your signs. Actions speak louder than words, and yours were loud and clear to everyone, but I was on the wrong frequency. I finally fixed the frequency last night, but I was already Jejuko. I was going to tell you I couldn’t see you anymore last night, but I think after that mindless movie, I couldn’t keep a straight thought in my head. I couldn’t tell you I was Jaejoong while being Jejuko, and I never intended to tell you last night. But please believe me when I say that I was going to tell you before this weekend was over.”
Jaejoong removes his palm from Yunho’s mouth, sighing as Yunho slips his hand from his waist and back down to cup the gentle swell of his ass. He hears what Jaejoong is saying, he understands it, but he needs a little more. Just a tiny bit more, and he hopes he will get it.
“Why, Joongie? Why?”
He knows the question is completely and utterly vague, but he has laid himself out there, and he truly believes they need to get it right this time. No more mixed signals or being on different wavelengths. He needs them to be on the same page and he needs to know… And deep down, although he knows the answer, he needs to hear it. He needs Jaejoong.
Jaejoong sees the emotion passing through Yunho’s dark almond eyes. Eyes that are looking at him as if he’s the only one who matters. And he intuitively knows what Yunho is asking, even though his question can be construed in any manner. He no longer has anything to lose but everything to gain.
“Remember your question? Asking me if I will be yours?”
Yunho nods, holding his breath when Jaejoong’s face breaks into a soft smile, an affectionate smile, a smile full of…love.
“I’ve always been yours. I was yours when I first saw you, and I stayed yours the more I found out about you, and I was totally lost in the last two weeks. I fell in love with you from a distance, never expecting you would ever look twice at me.”
“Joongie…” Yunho exhales the name, heart stuttering as Jaejoong bends his head, giving him an Eskimo kiss, as they breathe in each other.
“I love you, too.”
AN: This has been an amazing ride for me. I’ve really enjoyed writing this, especially when my muse was cooperating. I can’t believe this is the end. I don’t want it to be, but it has to be. As I mentioned in my AN up top, I don’t have any plans for sequels or other out takes or one shots around this ‘verse so please don’t ask because it will probably break my heart. However, there will be a bonus chapter or one shot of sorts of #UKNOWTIME lmao. I wanted to write it today but I’m bogged down with work and really not in the mood for “making love”. This story is completed, for all intents and purposes.
To all the silent readers out there, do drop me a comment so I can thank you for reading this. This was a fic waaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone to write (since I really dislike gender switch fics and would personally not read this OTL), and I appreciate every single one of you for taking the time to read this and giving it a chance. Gender bender/switch fics are not very popular (to me) so for this to get the love it’s received over the last five months is rather humbling.
Ok long AN is long. I’ll end by saying that Darkness Eyes is forever “ruined” for me. I literally cannot listen to that song without doing the lap dance routine at certain parts. And I have no regrets!!! Even though most of the time this occurs while I’m in public, in my office… OTL